Second Time Around Part 17

'What?' said David sharply.

Oren eyeballed David and said, 'Lucy and I have been called to join a mission in Peru, David. We'll be working amongst the natives, spreading the Word in places where the Lord's light hasn't shone before.'

'Oh my G.o.d,' said Jennifer under her breath. So Lucy wasn't pregnant. The pressure to marry so quickly was coming from Oren so that he could fulfil some G.o.dly evangelical fantasy.

'Huh? Called by who?' said Matt, who up until now had been sitting quietly, looking bored.

'By the big man, of course,' said Oren cheerfully, 'Him upstairs! We leave at the end of June.'

'What, like, on holiday?' said Matt.

'No. We've signed up for a year. We'll be following the voice of the Holy Spirit into one of Peru's remotest locations. We'll be based out of Nauta and spending a large part of our time travelling up the Amazon to spread the Word.'

'Sounds awesome,' said Matt. 'Can I come visit?'

Jennifer was momentarily speechless. Places like Peru were rife with malaria, yellow fever, typhoid, tuberculosis, cholera, rabies and G.o.d knows what else. And hadn't she heard a brief report on the radio only the other day about ongoing civil unrest in Peru between cocoa farmers and the police? Lucy had never been to a third world country she had no idea what she was letting herself in for.

'I don't think this is wise,' said David, 'Lucy can't just walk away from her degree course like that.'

Jennifer closed her eyes and said a prayer in thanks. David would put a stop to this nonsense.

'Yes, she can,' said Oren quickly, and Jennifer opened her eyes. 'She can take a year out and pick up where she left off. People do it all the time.'

'But what about you, Oren? You're in the middle of a degree too,' Jennifer pointed out.

'Oh, the college understand the position. In fact, they've been very supportive. They understand that G.o.d moves in mysterious ways. There'll be a place for me when we come back.'

'But why not just wait, Oren?' argued David reasonably. 'It's only another year and a half until you both finish university. Wait till Lucy finishes her degree and you finish yours, get married and if you still want to, go to Peru then.'

Oren laughed derisively. 'You make it sound as if this is something about which we have a choice, David.'

'You have to understand that G.o.d's called us now, Dad. Together,' said Lucy, gripping Oren's hand. 'And it'd be wrong of us to go against His plan.'

'What if I promised you that Lucy will finish her degree when she comes back, David?' said Oren. 'Would that make you more comfortable?'

'I ... well ... I suppose so,' said David, his resolve weakening as Jennifer became increasingly incensed. Why did Oren insist on addressing David alone? Was her opinion, as Lucy's mother, of no account whatsoever?

'But what if something went wrong?' cried Jennifer, appealing to David, Maggie and Brian. 'What if Lucy gets sick? Healthcare in these places is rudimentary at best, and possibly unavailable in the place they're planning to go to. And what if they get caught up in civil unrest? The police and legal systems in these countries are riddled with corruption.'

The colour drained from Lucy's face and Oren actually laughed. 'I think you're being a bit melodramatic, Jennifer. We're going out to an established mission that I've visited before. We'll be there under the auspices of the BMS.'

'The what?' said Matt.

'It used to be called the Baptist Missionary Society but nowadays it goes by the name of BMS World Mission.'

'Well, that's a comfort,' said David. 'It's clear you've given this a great deal of thought.'

Jennifer placed a hand on her heart and found it hard to get the words out, so constricted was her throat in anger. 'You cannot be giving this your sanction, David,' she said, her voice barely above a whisper.

'I know you're worried about Lucy,' said Brian gently. 'We all worry for her. It's only natural.' He beamed at his granddaughter. 'But she's an adult, and if this is what she's set her heart on, well, then you mustn't stand in her way.'

Jennifer glared at her father, angered by his lack of support, and appealed directly to Lucy. 'You can't be serious about this, Lucy. You told me you never wanted to leave Ballyfergus, let alone Northern Ireland. And now you've suddenly decided to head off to a place you've never been on the other side of the world, where you've no connections, no contacts, no protection.'

'I'll have Oren and the protection of Our Lord Jesus Christ. That's all I need.'

'Oh, for G.o.d's sake,' said Jennifer rolling her eyes. 'Will you please stop talking like some kind of religious fanatic?'

Oren, looking furious, opened his mouth to speak, but David cut across him. 'I know you've never been a religious woman, Jennifer, but the rest of us in this room are.' He looked at Maggie and gave her a grim smile. 'And not only do I believe in what these two young people want to do, I'm proud of them. So, Oren and Lucy,' he said, having finished admonis.h.i.+ng Jennifer, 'as far as I'm concerned, you have my blessing.'

Chapter 16.

The day before Christmas Eve found Jennifer fidgeting nervously in the kitchen over a lunch of hot smoked salmon and roasted veg. Ben was coming for lunch to meet Dad and Lucy for the first time and Matt would be there too. Jennifer thought Ben and her father would get on just fine. But Lucy was another matter.

Oren had gone down to Enniskillen the day after the engagement announcement, but, over a week later, Jennifer still hadn't plucked up the courage, nor found quite the right moment, to raise the subject of the engagement with Lucy. She spent so much of her time either on the phone to Oren, or locked away in her room, reading scripture. She was almost a stranger to her.

'Mmm, something smells nice,' said Lucy, coming into the kitchen and lifting the lid on a small saucepan of dill sauce.

'Oh there you are. Did you have a lie-in?'

'Nope. I was up early. Reading in my room.'

By now Jennifer knew not to ask 'What?' as, invariably, Lucy's reading material was the Bible itself or some other religious tract. She'd also become very selective in her choice of TV viewing. Soaps, for example, which Lucy had lately judged as too morally lax, were out.

'You will make an effort with Ben, won't you?' said Jennifer, adjusting the thin red belt around the waist of her smart black dress, and regarding Lucy thoughtfully. In old jeans, a shapeless cardigan and worn slippers, she'd made no effort whatsoever with her appearance. 'I think you'd like him, if you gave him a chance.'

Lucy shrugged. 'Of course I'll be civil to him.'

'I want you to be more than civil. I want you to be nice to him.'

Lucy sighed loudly. 'I'll be nice.' She paused and added with a deep frown, 'You're sleeping with him, aren't you?'

Jennifer slipped oven gloves over her hands, and busied herself with trays in the oven so that Lucy could not see her blushes. Matt must've told her, then, about the night he came home and found Ben in her bed. She'd been careful since. Ben hadn't stayed the night again. They had s.e.x only at his place and she always came home to sleep in her own bed.

'You're not denying it then,' persisted Lucy.

Jennifer straightened up, placed her gloved hands on her hips and gave Lucy a steady stare. 'I don't have to explain myself to you or anyone else.'

When Jennifer opened the door to Ben, dressed in jeans and a round-necked navy sweater over a checked s.h.i.+rt, her heart flipped. He grinned cheekily, pressed a bottle of wine into her hands, and kissed her full on the lips. She backed away and ushered him in with a furtive, 'The neighbours'll see you.' He laughed, while the knot in Jennifer's stomach tightened.

In the lounge a fire crackled merrily in the grate and a Christmas tree sparkled in the corner of the room. Brian and Matt greeted Ben warmly but, when he offered his hand to Lucy, she shook it limply and mumbled something unintelligible. She did not offer him her cheek for a kiss, nor did she look him in the eye. Anger jostled with disappointment in Jennifer's belly.

When they were all seated round the kitchen table eating, Ben addressed Lucy directly. 'So, how's your course going? Your Mum tells me you're studying Applied Mathematics and Physics.'

Lucy pushed a piece of salmon round her plate and said, truculently, 'Fine.'

'Not for long though,' remarked Matt, who'd already cleared his plate and was helping himself to seconds. 'Once her and Oren get hitched, they're going out to Peru.' He paused to laugh and shake his head in disbelief. 'Of all places.'

'So I hear,' said Ben quietly with a concerned look at Lucy. 'Are you sure that you'll be safe? I read recently that areas where cocoa is cultivated are particularly dangerous.'

Lucy looked Ben directly in the eye for the first time. 'I know what I'm doing. And with respect, Ben, I really don't think that it's any of your business.'

Ben glanced around uncomfortably and despair filled Jennifer's heart. For the first time in her life Jennifer was ashamed of her daughter.

'No ... I ... eh,' stumbled Ben.

'So how are you spending Christmas Day, Ben?' said Brian pleasantly, saving the day.

Ben smiled in relief and went on to explain how he would be having Christmas lunch at Alan and Ca.s.sie's. His mother wasn't due back from Barbados until Boxing Day. The conversation revolved round Christmases past and present and, as soon as the meal was cleared away, Jennifer suggested coffee in the lounge. Lucy stood up. 'I'll skip the coffee if you don't mind. I've got a ... a headache coming on. I'm going to lie down.' And without another word, she left the room.

The next day, Jennifer and Lucy walked m.u.f.fin in the crisp and frosty Town Park. Jennifer, whose anger with Lucy had mellowed to a sort of quiet despair, decided she could put off the subject of Oren no longer.

Lucy had stopped walking and turned around to wait for m.u.f.fin who was trailing behind them. On the swings in the nearby play-park children squealed, and Jennifer remembered with a pang reading Clement C Moore's 'The Night before Christmas' to the children one particular Christmas Eve. Matt, a fair-haired baby with big brown eyes, had sat on her lap while Lucy, her sandy-coloured hair in a braid down her back like a spine, had knelt on the floor in a pink flannel nightgown, craning to see the ill.u.s.trations in the book. She remembered how she had paused in her reading, her voice catching in her throat, to give thanks to G.o.d for that perfect moment and for her precious children. And even though she was all grown, there was still something of the innocent about Lucy. That was why Jennifer simply couldn't stand by and watch her ruin her life.

'Come on, boy. Come.' Lucy slapped her thighs to attract m.u.f.fin's attention but he continued to sniff at a bush h.o.a.ry with frost.

Eventually the dog padded up to them, panting, white drool dripping from his mouth, and sat down heavily on the path.

'I thought the walk might be too much for him,' said Jennifer thoughtfully. 'He's really not capable of much more than a stroll over to your Grandpa's.'

They both stood and regarded m.u.f.fin thoughtfully. 'Let him rest for a bit and then we'll walk back to the car,' said Lucy.

Feeling her chance slipping away, Jennifer said, 'Lucy, I've been thinking.' Immediately the air between them crackled with tension.

'What?' said Lucy, bending down to stroke m.u.f.fin's long sleek head.

'What do you think of Ben?' said Jennifer, side-stepping the subject of Oren yet again.

'You know what I think of you and Ben,' said Lucy straightening up, but refusing to make eye contact.

'I know what Oren thinks,' said Jennifer.

Lucy sighed. 'I'm quite certain your relations.h.i.+p with him goes against the teachings in the Bible, Mum.'

Jennifer took a deep breath and allowed this ludicrous statement to pa.s.s unremarked. If they argued now, they would not get round to the subject of Oren and the preposterous engagement.

Lucy went on, 'Ben seems like an okay guy, but the fact that you and him are dating ...' She paused to s.h.i.+ver and finally looked Jennifer in the eye. 'Well, I just think it's creepy that you're dating a man the same age as Oren. It makes you look kind of ... well, predatory.'

'Is it inconceivable to you that Ben and I might actually love each other? And that age is completely irrelevant?' said Jennifer sharply, knowing of course this wasn't true.

'Look, I really don't want to talk about it any more, Mum. Nothing you say is going to make me change my mind. I'd just rather not be around you two when you're together, that's all.'

'Well, that's your prerogative.' Inside the pockets of her padded down coat, Jennifer clenched her fists and the effort to retain her composure made her right eye twitch uncontrollably. Lucy's callous comments hurt her deeply, but reacting now would be counter-productive. At least she was opening up about how she felt. This may be the best opportunity she would get all holiday to talk to her at a meaningful level.

When she could trust herself to speak with equanimity, Jennifer steered the conversation in the direction of her goal. 'So how do Oren's family feel about the engagement?'

'They're delighted, naturally.'

'I see.' A pause. 'And you love Oren?'

Lucy glanced at Jennifer and laughed out of the side of her mouth. 'Of course.' She unclipped a worn brown leather dog lead from around her neck, found the D-ring on m.u.f.fin's collar and attached it. 'You don't like him, do you?' she said quietly, ruffling the thick fur on m.u.f.fin's neck. 'I can tell.'

Jennifer started. For a few seconds she considered denying it, but then decided to simply avoid answering altogether. 'I don't think he's right for you, Lucy, that's all. I think you behave differently when he's around. You're cowed and subservient. And I hate the way you deferred to him over the issue of bridesmaids.'

'I call it being humble,' said Lucy, glancing at Jennifer with a pitying look. 'Accommodating. And there's nothing wrong with a woman deferring to her man.'

'Yes there is!' cried Jennifer, unable to hide her dismay. 'If your opinion doesn't carry the same value as his, how can it be an equal partners.h.i.+p?'

Lucy laughed and began to walk slowly along the path, m.u.f.fin hobbling along behind at a stately pace.

'Of course, a husband and wife are of equal worth before G.o.d,' said Lucy, as Jennifer fell in beside her. 'But husbands and wives have different functions. It's the man's G.o.d-given responsibility to provide for, protect and lead his family. And it's a wife's responsibility to respect and submit to her husband's authority.'

Jennifer's heart sank. Did Lucy really believe in this outdated view of marriage? 'Is that what Oren told you?'

'It's in the scriptures, Mum. I don't need Oren to tell me that.'

'What scriptures exactly, Lucy? Because there are many ways to interpret them.'

'Oh, I can't think right now,' said Lucy with a wave of her hand. 'Oren's your man if you want someone to quote chapter and verse.'

'But that's not how marriage should be. A woman shouldn't be submissive to her husband.'

Lucy came to a dead halt, turned to face Jennifer and said nastily, 'What, like your marriage? Look, don't take this the wrong way, but your formula for marital bliss could hardly be described as a success, Mum, could it?'

m.u.f.fin sat down on the path between the two women and, detecting the tense atmosphere, flattened his ears against his head.

Jennifer said crossly, 'I married your father too young, Lucy.' She paused and took a deep breath, preparing to reveal details about her marriage that she had only ever admitted to herself. 'If I'm honest with myself, I don't think I loved your Dad. And I don't think he truly loved me. I think he married me out of a sense of duty.'

The words hung between them for a few moments like her steamy breath.

'But it was you that wanted the divorce!'

'That's true. Your Dad was prepared to stick it out for the sake of appearances and for you and Matt. But he's much happier with Maggie than he ever was with me.'

'But that's not what you told us,' cried Lucy. 'You said that you and Dad fell out of love. You said it happens sometimes.'

Jennifer looked at the ground, unable to meet her daughter's eye.

'Why did you lie?' demanded Lucy.

'How could we tell you the truth when we couldn't own it to ourselves? We both tried so hard to make it work.'