Comedies by Holberg : Jeppe of the Hill, The Political Tinker, Erasmus Montanus Part 32

MONTa.n.u.s. An ignoramus.

NILLE. Nothing could be plainer.

MONTa.n.u.s. An idiot.

NILLE. I can't see that he is anything else.

MONTa.n.u.s. Et quidem plane hospes in philosophia. Let the dog turn away from what he committed in the presence of so many worthy people.

NILLE. Is that what he did? By that you may know a swine.

MONTa.n.u.s. No, little mother, he did something worse than that; he openly confounded materiam c.u.m forma.

NILLE. Plague take him!

MONTa.n.u.s. Does the fellow imagine that he can dispute?

NILLE. The devil he can!

MONTa.n.u.s. Not to mention the mistake he made in his Proemio, when he said "Lectissimi et doctissimi auditores."

NILLE. What a fool he must be!

MONTa.n.u.s. For putting "lectissimi" in front of "doctissimi," when "lectissimi" is a predicate, one can give a Deposituro.

NILLE. But didn't you get a chance to talk with Jeronimus, my son?

MONTa.n.u.s. No, just as I was about to go into the house, I saw the fellow pa.s.sing by the gate, and as we knew each other, I went out to speak to him, whereupon we immediately began to talk of learned matters, and finally to dispute, so that I had to postpone my visit.

NILLE. I am very much afraid that Monsieur Jeronimus will be offended when he hears that my son has been in his yard, but went away without talking with him.

MONTa.n.u.s. Well, I can't help that. When any one attacks philosophy, he attacks my honor. I am fond of Mademoiselle Lisbed, but my Metaphysica and my Logica have priority.

NILLE. Oh, my dear son, what did I hear? Are you engaged to two other girls in Copenhagen? That will be a bad business in the matrimonial courts.

MONTANURS. You don't understand me; I didn't mean it in that way.

They are not two girls, but two sciences.

NILLE. Oh, that is another matter. But here comes the bailiff. Don't be angry any more.

MONTa.n.u.s. I can't be angry with him, for he is a simple, ignorant man, with whom I cannot get into a dispute.

SCENE 3

Enter Jeppe and Jesper the Bailiff.

JEPPE. Serviteur, Monsieur. I congratulate you on your arrival.

MONTa.n.u.s. I thank you, Mr. Bailiff.

JESPER. I am glad that we have such a learned man here in the village. It must have cost you many a racking of the brain to have advanced so far. I congratulate you, too, Jeppe Berg, upon your son.

Now, happiness has come to you in your old age.

JEPPE. Yes, that is true.

JESPER. But listen, my dear Monsieur Rasmus, I should like to ask you something.

MONTa.n.u.s. My name is Monta.n.u.s.

JESPER (aside to Jeppe). Monta.n.u.s? is that the Latin for Rasmus?

JEPPE. Yes, it must be.

JESPER. Listen, my dear Monsieur Monta.n.u.s Berg. I have heard that learned folk have such extraordinary ideas. Is it true that people in Copenhagen think the earth is round? Here on the hill no one believes it; for how can that be, when the earth looks perfectly flat?

MONTa.n.u.s. That is because the earth is so large that one cannot notice its roundness.

JESPER. Yes, it is true, the earth is large; it is almost a half of the universe. But listen, Monsieur, how many stars will it take to make a moon?

MONTa.n.u.s. A moon! In comparison to the stars the moon is like Pebling Pond in comparison with all Sjaelland.

JESPER. Ha, ha, ha! Learned folk are never just right in the head.

Will you believe it, I have heard people say that the earth moves and the sun stands still. You certainly don't believe that, too, Monsieur?

MONTa.n.u.s. No man of sense doubts it any longer.

JESPER. Ha, ha, ha! If the earth should move, surely we should fall and break our necks.

MONTa.n.u.s. Can't a s.h.i.+p move with you, without your breaking your neck?

JESPER. Yes, but you say that the earth turns round. Now. if a s.h.i.+p should turn over, wouldn't the people fall off then into the sea?

MONTa.n.u.s. No. I will explain it to you more plainly, if you will have the patience.

JESPER. Indeed, I won't hear anything about it. I should have to be crazy to believe such a thing. Could the earth turn over, and we not fall heels over head to the devil and clear down into the abyss? Ha, ha, ha! But, my Monsieur Berg, how is it that the moon is sometimes so small and sometimes so big?

MONTa.n.u.s. If I tell you why, you won't believe me.

JESPER. Oh, please tell me.

MONTa.n.u.s. It is because, when the moon has grown large, pieces are clipped off it to make stars of.

JESPER. That certainly is curious. I really didn't know that before.

If pieces were not clipped off, it would get too large and grow as broad as all Sjaelland. After all, nature does regulate everything very wisely. But how is it that the moon doesn't give warmth like the sun, although it is just as big?

MONTa.n.u.s. That is because the moon is not a light, but made of the same dark material as the earth, and gets its light and brilliance from the sun.