Nancy Stair Part 27
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"You can perhaps see the light in which I was placed! Even my own friends went over to the duke's side, and I was forced to shake his d.a.m.ned hand and join him at the Red c.o.c.k for breakfast or show a surly front by my refusal. I was made a laughing stock for the whole party.
Put in the wrong in every way; and even Billy Deuceace, a man of penetration, was so deceived by this, that afterward he bade me, with a laugh, 'fight about women who were in love with me and not with other men.'"
During this rehearsal of his wrongs Nancy sat quietly embroidering, not looking at the speaker nor seeming to note the voice at all.
"I said nothing of the affair to you," he continued; "I thought to let the thing go by, and went off to Glasgow, hoping to forget it before we met again. And what do I come back to? To learn that half the town has it that you've visited an inn in another county and spent your days, aye, and I suppose they say your nights, too, with Rab Burns, whom decent folk will not let their daughters know. At tales like this the affair takes on another complexion. I do not want a wife for myself, nor a mother for my children, whose name has been bandied about like that!"
He was so beside himself with rage and jealousy and the further present annoyance of Nancy's inattention, that he raised his voice at the end to a tone of harshness, such as none had ever used to Nancy Stair, and which she was the last woman to stand patient under. She did the thing by instinct which would enrage him most, putting a thread to her needle, squinting up one eye as she did so, in a composed and usual manner, and letting a silence fall before she said, in a level and unemotional voice:
"Sit down, Dandy, and stop shouting. There's no use getting the town-guard out because you chance not to want me any longer for a wife.
You don't have to have me, you know!"
He seemed somewhat dashed by this, and there was a pause, during which he took a paper from his pocket and cast it on the table before her.
"No," he says, "and that's very true; but for your own sake as the Lord of Stair's daughter, I'd write no more verses like these. G.o.d!" he cried, "to think of that white-faced American having a thing like that from you!"
"What's the matter with the writing?" she said, looking down at it as though its literary merit were the thing he questioned. "Mr. Hastings,"
she explained, "had an old song called the Trail of the Gipsies, and he rather flouted me because I set such store by it, but had it lined and sent me with some flowers. On the minute of their coming, and with the thought of how little the Anglo-Saxon comprehends any race save his own, I wrote these lines. I see no harm in them!"
As Nancy read the poem[7] over she looked up with the same curious look.
[7] A thousand thanks for the verses, And the thoughts that they bring from you, But it's only a gipsy-woman Who can feel how the trail holds true.
You of the Pilgrim fathers, With your face so proud and pale, And the birth born pain of a fettered brain, What can ye know of the trail?
By the lawless folk who bore me, By their pa.s.sion and pain, and loss, By their swords which strove and their Lights o' Love, I've a right to the gipsy cross.
Poems by Nancy Stair. Edinburgh Edition, 1796.
"What's the matter with it?" she asked again.
"The matter with it?" he repeated after her. "It's a thing no lady should ever have thought, and no woman should ever have written."
"Ye think so?" she said, and there was an amused tolerance in her voice as of discussing a mature subject with a child, adding in a tone as remote as if speaking of the Tenant Act, "Your opinions are always interesting, Dand."
"Interesting to you they may or may not be, but it's just come to this: A young woman who continues the relations you do with the greatest scoundrel on earth; who writes verses immoral in tone to one man and visits another for weeks in an ale-house--but," and here he broke off suddenly, "you may know no better with your rearing."
"Miss Erskine will perhaps have been telling you what it is customary for young ladies to do," Nancy suggested, in a dangerous, level voice.
"I do not need telling. It's a thing about which right-thinking people will agree without words," he answered; and it was here that Nancy spoke in her own voice, though heated by anger, and with the words coming faster than ordinary.
"And that's maybe true," she said; "but there are other things to be considered. It has always been in my mind that most marriages are very badly made up," she said. "That in this greatest of all affairs between a man and a woman people lose their wits and trust to a blind kind of attraction for each other. I have thought to use my head a bit more in the matter. The very fact that you are misunderstanding me now as you do goes far to prove how foolish a marriage between us would have been."
"Heavens!" he cried, "you talk of marriage as though it were a contract between two shop-keepers to be argle-bargled over. It's an affair of the heart, not of the head. Ye've never loved me," he said bitterly, "or ye'd know that."
"That may be true," Nancy answered, mutinously. "I have tried to be fair to you, however, and not to let you have a wife who didn't know her own mind. I am, as you reminded me, different from other women in many ways. I like many----"
"I've noted that," he interrupted with scant courtesy.
"And I'm afraid I shall continue to like them for one thing or another till the end; and you're of a jealous turn, Danvers," she said, coldly.
"I have been," he said. "Where you were concerned I haven't a generous thought. I take shares in my wife with no man. I have been jealous of the sound of your voice, the glance of your eye. What I have had to endure because of this ye must surely have seen! When a woman loves a man she has no thought for another----"
"It's may be so," Nancy broke in, "but it's as entirely beyond me as flying. If I loved you with all there is of me, and another came by with a bit of a rhyme, or a new tale, or a plan quite of his own thinking, the chances are many that you'd be clear out of my mind while he stayed."
"'Tis fortunate, as you say," he interrupted, "that we discover this before 'tis too late. I think it's a peculiarity that will go far to making the husband you take for yourself a very unhappy man."
"He will perhaps understand me better than you do," Nancy answered gently.
"Oh," he cried at this, "can't you see that a woman surrenders herself when she loves? She gives as gladly as a man takes, and is happy to have him for her lord and master. Not that he wishes to rule her, for 'twould be the thought of his life that her every desire should be filled, but she must be willing to yield."
"Ye'd have made a grand Turk," Nancy broke in, and there was a glint of humor in her tone as she spoke the words.
"I think," Danvers answered, "you'll find me asking only what most men expect to get."
"If that be true, the chances are heavy that I shall live and die unwed," she said with a laugh.
"Oh, no!" he cried, in a cutting voice. "I dare say your mind's made up as to what you intend to do! Perhaps when you're the d.u.c.h.ess of Borthwicke his grace will enjoy your visiting other men and writing lines like these," and he dashed his fist on the paper again.
Nancy had by this time come to the far end of her patience, and she was on her feet in a minute.
"Listen to me," she said. "I went to Ayrs.h.i.+re at the written asking of Janet McGillavorich to come to her own home. The morning I started for Mauchline the rear of her house fell into the cellar, making it extremely dangerous to remain in any part of the dwelling. I went to the inn only because she was there, and she stayed with me until my father came and took me away. I saw Robert Burns alone but once, entirely by accident, in the broad light of day.
"As for the rhyme," and she looked down at the paper for a moment, regarding it as a thing of no importance whatever, "it was not I who spoke in the lines, but a gipsy girl of my imaginings. Ye've had little personal experience with the thing called gift----"
He must have thought there was some flouting of him in this, for he broke in heatedly:
"And I thank G.o.d for it," he cried, "for it seems to be a thing which makes people betray trusts, lose all thought for others, raise hopes which they never intend to fulfil, unbridle their pa.s.sions, forget their s.e.x, and ride away to the deil at their own gate."
None could have foreseen the effect this speech had upon Nancy; the thought it contained falling so parallel to her own talk of the night before; but it's one matter to say a thing of one's self and an entirely different affair to have it said concerning one, and in a minute her anger fairly matched his own.
"Ye've insulted me, Danvers," she said, "many times in this talk, both in word and look; insulted me in my father's house, where you've been welcome, boy and man, ever since ye were born; insulted me, too, in a way I'm not like to forget."
She stood very tall and straight, her cheeks aflame, the lace on her bosom trembling with the quickness of her breathing, and her work dropped on the table before her as she slipped from her finger the ruby ring and pushed it toward him.
"Go away or stay at Arran, as you please! Ride or tie as best suits your mind, for in the way of love everything is gone between us for all time. And where ye go," she went on, "ye who pride yereself so on your birth and breeding, just recall the fact that of all the men of gift whom I have known, and they have been many, not one has ever forgotten himself before me as you have done to-day, nor insulted the daughter of a friend in her own house!"
He made no move to take the ring, and it lay twinkling on the table between them as Nancy turned to leave the room.
"Good-by," he said, turning white, and then (and I thought a heart of stone might be touched by the compliment under such circ.u.mstances) "Oh," he cried, as though the words were forced from him, "you are so beautiful!"
"The country's full of pretty women, any one of whom will be likely to marry you, when you order her to!" Nancy returned with an exasperating smile.
"I'll try it and see. I think I will not go away from Arran. I may do something that will surprise you," he added.
"There's nothing ye could do that would surprise me, unless it were something sensible, and ye're not like to do that," she retorted, and without another word she left him standing alone, and he flung himself out of the house, disappearing across the lawn, in the direction of Arran, with a white face and a brooding devil in his eyes that showed his mind obstinate and unrelenting, and in a mood to do any foolish thing that came by.
Nancy Stair Part 27
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Nancy Stair Part 27 summary
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