Walk With Me Part 9

I don't remember how long we stayed there, containing and then putting out the flames, but at some point, the people who worked at the mansion came in with fire extinguishers. By the time the fire truck got to our remote location, everything was under control and it didn't look like there was all that much damage to the building. My best (meaning last last) suit on the other hand, was toast. And I mean that literally.

Somehow I doubted that would be enough to convince Avi to take on the next theme wedding.

Chapter 7.

Seth Cohen.

BY THE THE time I finally left the Flaming Murder-Mystery Wedding, my clothes were burnt, charred, wet, and coated in a white film from the fire-extinguisher spray. Seemed all those things shouldn't be possible in unison, but I had the permanent stains on my car seat to prove it. Anyway, it wasn't the discomfort or odor that bothered me most, it was that I hadn't eaten since breakfast, and the exertion of playing amateur firefighter had drained all my stored fuel resources. time I finally left the Flaming Murder-Mystery Wedding, my clothes were burnt, charred, wet, and coated in a white film from the fire-extinguisher spray. Seemed all those things shouldn't be possible in unison, but I had the permanent stains on my car seat to prove it. Anyway, it wasn't the discomfort or odor that bothered me most, it was that I hadn't eaten since breakfast, and the exertion of playing amateur firefighter had drained all my stored fuel resources.

There was no way I could be seen in public in my condition, so restaurants were off the menu. I headed home and used the unreasonably long drive time to take a mental inventory of my refrigerator contents. No matter how many times I went over it, the answer was lacking. As I pulled into my apartment complex, I was trying to remember whether or not I'd finished the container of fresh mozzarella. The thought had me so distracted, I didn't notice a familiar car in the parking lot.

I was stepping out of my car when I heard his voice.

"Seth!"

I snapped my head around, looking for Eli.

"Hey!" he shouted as he jogged over to me. "I caught an earlier flight home, so I thought I'd...." When he stopped talking, I figured he had gotten close enough to notice my appearance or get a whiff of my delightful wet-charred-guy fragrance. His jaw dropped and his eyes widened in horror. "What happened?"

In some ways the answer was long and complicated, but in other ways it was pretty simple.

"Wedding," I said tiredly, summarizing everything with that one word. I started shuffling toward my apartment. "I thought you weren't getting in until Tuesday."

Eli stayed by my side. "I talked my prof into letting me take my last exam this morning and caught an earlier flight." He leaned toward me. "Is that.... Are you-" He inhaled deeply and then wrinkled his nose and blinked rapidly. The expression made him look even more adorable than usual, and his usual was already heart melting. "Do I smell smoke?" he asked.

I nodded tiredly. "Yes. Sorry. I know it's gross. I'll hop right into the shower."

"Hey." He b.u.mped my shoulder with his. "Don't apologize. I wasn't complaining."

We'd reached my apartment, so I raised my shaky arm and after three tries managed to get the key into the lock.

"You're trembling." Eli put his arm around me and opened the door. "Are you okay? You're not hurt, are you?"

I wanted to lean against him and let the feeling of his body pressed to mine comfort me. Too young, Too young, I reminded myself. I reminded myself. Even if I knew what I wanted, which I don't, he's too young to know what he wants. I'd be taking advantage. Even if I knew what I wanted, which I don't, he's too young to know what he wants. I'd be taking advantage.

I sighed. "I'm a little sore and my back and arms feel like I was out at the beach too long without sunscreen, but it's not too bad. I'm just tired and hungry and I can't stand smelling myself."

"I'll make you a deal," Eli said once we got inside. "You go bathe and I'll make you something to eat. How's that sound?"

It sounded amazing, actually. "Thanks, Eli. I'll only be a... wait, do you know how to cook?"

He rolled his eyes.

"No, seriously. Because if you're going to burn my kitchen down, I'd rather take my chances with starvation. I don't think I can handle another fire right now."

"I made you that soup last summer, remember?" He gave me a gentle shove. "Get in the shower, old man. I'll figure out how to have sustenance ready for you without having to call in emergency personnel."

I was too tired to put up a fight, so I turned around and stepped toward my bedroom.

"On the other hand," Eli said, his tone devious. "I do like a man in uniform. It might be nice to have a bunch of firefighters fighting over who gets to give me mouth-to-mouth."

I shook my head and kept walking. "Don't let your fantasies distract you if you're using the stove. I meant what I said about being done with fires for the day."

"Don't be jealous!" he shouted after me. "It isn't becoming."

Though I wouldn't have thought it possible with how drained I was, I laughed. Eli definitely had a way of creating humor in any situation. Not that I'd be laughing if I saw somebody actually put his mouth on Eli's. I sighed and shook my head.

I didn't want to be with him. Or, more accurately, I wasn't sure what I wanted, but I knew it would be wrong for me to be with him. So I refused to give in to his advances. And, okay, fine, I refused to give in to my (possible) feelings. And yet, I didn't want him to be with anybody else either. Man, was I ever a jerk. I really had to get myself together.

After stripping off my clothes, I looked them over and decided they were a lost cause. Another suit bites the dust. Another suit bites the dust. I stuffed them into a plastic bag and tied it shut to hold in the stench until I could take it outside. I was going to need a clothing allowance if I had to keep officiating weddings of doom. I dragged myself into the shower, closed my eyes, and moaned in pleasure when the water flowed over me, ma.s.saging aching muscles and was.h.i.+ng away grime. I stuffed them into a plastic bag and tied it shut to hold in the stench until I could take it outside. I was going to need a clothing allowance if I had to keep officiating weddings of doom. I dragged myself into the shower, closed my eyes, and moaned in pleasure when the water flowed over me, ma.s.saging aching muscles and was.h.i.+ng away grime.

"You didn't drown in there, did you?"

The sound of Eli's voice jerked me out of my relaxed-to-the-point-of-being-semiconscious state. I had no idea how long I had been in under the water.

"Are you in my bathroom?" I asked. Okay, it was a silly question. His voice was too close for him to be anywhere else.

"Yes, but don't worry, I won't peek." He paused. "Unless you let me, and then I'll totally ogle you." Another pause. "Forget I said that. I brought you apples. They're sliced."

My head was spinning. Between my exhaustion and the skipped meals, I wasn't lucid enough to follow Eli's frenetic conversation pace.

"You brought me sliced apples? In the shower?"

"Well, yeah. You were really hungry, and the sandwich I made would get soggy because bread totally isn't waterproof, and I'm not sure about cheese but I figured apples would be fine, and then I thought it'd be easier if I cut them up and you could just nibble on them while you wash and, uh, do whatever else you do when you're in the shower." He paused. "Naked." Another pause. "Using conditioner."

He groaned and the sound had my tired member starting to get interested.

"I use conditioner on my hair," I told him, which was true. It wasn't the only place I used it, but that was neither here nor there.

"Right. Right. I know. Sorry. Forget I said that. Do you want your apples?" The edge of the curtain rustled, and then Eli's hand shot into the shower.

I darted forward and s.n.a.t.c.hed the plate. "I don't think you should be in the shower with me."

He groaned again, and I realized my word choice could have been better.

Before I could tell him to leave, I heard the toilet lid slam shut and he said, "I'm all the way over here. I'll be good. I promise. I just want to talk." He paused, and when he spoke again, his voice was lower. "I missed hanging out with you."

It felt weird to be naked with him just a few feet away, but it wasn't like he could see me. Plus, he sounded so eager I didn't want to turn him away.

"When did you get in?" I asked.

He sighed in relief. "My flight landed at seven. My parents picked me up at the airport and we went to dinner, and then they went home and I took the car and came over here."

That meant he had been waiting for me for a while, because it had been close to midnight by the time I'd gotten home.

"Sorry to keep you waiting. The wedding ran longer than I antic.i.p.ated."

"That's okay. It's not like you knew I was coming. You were at the murder-mystery wedding, right? What happened?"

I stuffed a few slices of apple in my mouth, set the small plate down on the ledge, and grabbed the shampoo. "Fire."

"Fire?"

"Mmm-hmm." I chewed, swallowed, and then elaborated. "They had this huge unity candle thing, and hot wax was pouring off it. I think the tablecloth or the flowers caught on fire, and then it spread."

"Holy s.h.i.+t!"

"Yeah." I rinsed off my hair. "n.o.body got seriously hurt, but it was a little scary and really messy."

"Wow. I remember my dad telling me some crazy wedding stories over the years, but nothing like that. You have some seriously bad wedding mojo."

I grabbed the soap and lathered up. "Bad mojo and a shortage of suits. Maybe now your dad will give me a break and let me do baby namings or bar mitzvahs or something."

"I don't think that's a good idea," Eli said.

"Why not?" I asked before I tossed the last of the apple in my mouth and stepped under the spray.

"With the way things are going for you, I'm afraid children will get hurt if you're responsible for their life events."

"Hardy har har."

"I think you're better off with funerals," he said, sounding very serious. "Those people are already dead."

"You're a real comedian, Eli. Are you sure you want to major in music? I think you're missing your calling."

It was fun bantering with him, and for a brief moment, my worn-out brain let me imagine something I'd normally shut down before it could take root: coming home from a long day and chatting with Eli, but instead of me in the shower and him sitting on the other side of the curtain, we'd be together, maybe lying in the tub, holding each other. That image had me breathless, erect, and feeling a dull ache in my chest, like my heart knew what it was missing.

I was too exhausted to berate myself for my thoughts, but I knew I'd need to be careful once I stepped out of the shower. My defenses were low, and I couldn't let myself do something Eli and I would both regret. With him home for the summer, there would be plenty of other tempting moments. I'd never forgive myself if my confusion and anxiety somehow ended up causing Eli pain. Right then and there I promised myself that after a good night's sleep, I'd do some self-a.n.a.lysis and figure out what was going on with me.

THE NEXT NEXT few weeks were blissfully wedding-free, which was great. And Eli regularly showed up at my office right around dinnertime, which was even better. I knew we weren't just coincidentally running into each other. I knew he planned those interactions. But I didn't call him on it, both because I didn't want to shame him and also because I liked it. One thing my self-reflection had taught me was that whatever else happened, I had to be honest with myself about my feelings if I wanted any chance of figuring out what they were. So I internally admitted that I always enjoyed spending time with Eli. few weeks were blissfully wedding-free, which was great. And Eli regularly showed up at my office right around dinnertime, which was even better. I knew we weren't just coincidentally running into each other. I knew he planned those interactions. But I didn't call him on it, both because I didn't want to shame him and also because I liked it. One thing my self-reflection had taught me was that whatever else happened, I had to be honest with myself about my feelings if I wanted any chance of figuring out what they were. So I internally admitted that I always enjoyed spending time with Eli.

Thursday night wasn't one of my, "Oh, hi, Seth. You're still here? So, uh, you wanna go grab dinner or hang out or something?" nights. Eli actually all but told me in advance that he wouldn't happen happen to be at Temple Beth Shalom that evening, something about plans with friends. I had just gotten home when my phone rang. to be at Temple Beth Shalom that evening, something about plans with friends. I had just gotten home when my phone rang.

"Seth, hey, it's Micah."

"Hi, Micah." I flopped down on my couch and rubbed my hand over my face. "How are you?"

"Good. Sorry I didn't call sooner. I meant to but then things got busy with work. You know how it is."

I knew he was a workaholic but I had no idea why he was apologizing for not calling me. Before I could ask, he kept talking.

"So, listen, I know it's last minute, but it turns out I'm going to get out of here early tonight. Want to grab dinner and catch up?"

I looked at the clock. It was after seven. Only in Micah's world did that const.i.tute a light day at the office.

"Sounds good. I haven't eaten yet and I'm overdue for a grocery run."

"Cool. Figure out where you want to go. I'm leaving the office now. I'll come pick you up."

Twenty minutes later I heard a knock on my door. I grabbed my wallet and keys and opened it.

"Hi, Micah."

"Hey." He waited until I locked up, and then he wrapped his arm around my back and squeezed my shoulder. "How've you been?"

He was being more affectionate than usual, and he sounded genuinely concerned. I was a little lost.

"I'm good. Now that I finally have a grip on everything at work, things are slowing down, which is good."

"How're you liking it there?" he asked as we walked over to his car. "I've been meaning to join a temple since I moved to Emile City, but I've been really-"

"Busy," I said with a wink.

He snickered, opened his door, and climbed in. "Where're we going?"

"There's a place called the Dubliner down the street. I've been wanting to try it. But if you're in the mood for something else, that's fine too."

"Nope." Micah turned out of the parking lot. "The Dubliner sounds good. I haven't been there either, and I drive by it all the time."

"How's your mom?" I asked, making small talk.

"She's good. My dad is too. And my sister. But I didn't ask you to dinner to talk about them." Leave it to Micah to cut right to the chase. "We were interrupted by a pretend murder and a real fire right in the middle of our conversation the other night. I've been thinking about you and how you're doing."

The last part of that sentence wasn't what I would have expected from him. Micah wasn't someone I considered warm and fuzzy. Plus, as invested as he was in his job, I was surprised anything else made it onto his radar.

I stretched my neck from side to side. "I'm doing okay, actually," I said. "What you said about ignoring what other people think and focusing on my feelings helped. But I guess I'm still trying to figure myself out."

He was quiet for a moment, his thoughtful expression telling me he was processing what I said.

"Tell me what you mean."

What did I mean? "Well, like I told you the other night, I've only ever dated women. I was attracted to them. It was easy. It just made sense, you know?"

"Sure." Micah nodded. "So what's changed?"

"I'm not sure anything has changed changed exactly." I furrowed my brow as I reflected on my past. "All those feelings are still the same. It's just that when I think about it, I realize I have the same reactions to men. It wasn't ever something I gave much thought to before. I guess I figured it was normal, that everybody was like that. And it wasn't like I wanted to be in a relations.h.i.+p with a man, more like I've thought some were, uh-" exactly." I furrowed my brow as I reflected on my past. "All those feelings are still the same. It's just that when I think about it, I realize I have the same reactions to men. It wasn't ever something I gave much thought to before. I guess I figured it was normal, that everybody was like that. And it wasn't like I wanted to be in a relations.h.i.+p with a man, more like I've thought some were, uh-"

"Hot?"