The Notes Part 5

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Letter addressed to occupant-ever think of sending check back signed occupant.

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All for econ. as long as they can spend more money.

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Their idea of fighting crime is longer suspended sentences.

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Like saying Burton married E. Taylor for her money.

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When operating on a Demo. pol. even the keenest a.n.a.lytic surgeon cannot separate demagogic from solid tissue without killing his patient.

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Fireman boasted he'd caught 20 lb. salmon. Q: "Any witnesses?" A: "If there weren't ... would have weighed 40 lbs."

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Simple diet-if it tastes good spit it out.

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Economist is a fellow who takes long steps to save his new $10 shoes & splits his $20 slacks.

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Some people try to be so broadminded they wind up just shallow.

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Every time the govt. s.h.i.+fts to the left the decimal point in taxes s.h.i.+fts to the right.

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Some tasks have to be put off a doz. times before they slip your mind.

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When all the cars in the city are laid end to end it's a weekend.

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Ignorance can't be bliss or a lot of people would be jumping up & down with joy.

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If you wrote 9 people today & each of them wrote to 9 diff. people tomorrow & this continued for just 10 days-you'd reach 3,486,784,401.

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Upper crust ... lot ... old crumbs held together by dough.

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To err is human-it takes a computer to really louse things up.

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Many foxes grow grey but few grow good.

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Worst wheel on the wagon makes the most noise.

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An empty bag cannot stand upright.

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Could say horse in 9 langs. but bought a cow to ride on.

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Tricks are the prac. of fools who haven't the wit to be honest.

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He who scatters thorns should not go barefoot.

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Confidence-what you start out with before ... understand ... situation.

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Newest thing in women's hairdos is men.

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Some people are so addicted to exaggeration they can't tell the truth without lying.

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Husband: "In our 6 yrs. marriage we haven't been able to agree on anything." Wife: "It's been 7 yrs., dear."

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Inflation-changed ... pumpernickel bread to pumperdime.

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There is a n.o.ble forgetfulness-that which does not remember injuries.

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Voltaire: "In general the art of govt. consists of taking as much money as poss. from one cla.s.s of citizens to give to the other."

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We are all aware that "moderation" is a good rule for health-exercise moderately, eat the same way-drink in moderation but moderation should be taken in moderation. For example-should a man be moderately faithful to wife? How about your banker-is he moderately honest? That school bus driver-moderately good driver? Somehow I hope the plane I take to L.A. is more than moderately safe. How about in the operating room-the man with the scalpel in his hand-does he have a moderately good record of success with this type of op.? Have you met your son's fiancee-she insists she's a moderately virtuous young woman.

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We all want our sons to have all the things we never had when we were their age-especially a report card with a lot of "A"s.

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Lady Driver: The thing I dislike about parking is the noisy crash.

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Latest from Moscow-someone just broke into the Kremlin and stole next year's election results.

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Some people are so indecisive their favorite color is plaid.

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News Item: Rep. Mario Briggs' used ... Cong. Rec. for a glowing testimonial to his N.Y. colleague Frank Brasco. Heaping praise on Brasco that his fellow Dem. had decided to retire. He didn't mention that Brasco will be sentenced to Fed. prison this month for bribery.

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Conscience is that still small voice that tells you when you are about to get caught.

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Fis.h.i.+ng is something you should do yesterday when they were biting.

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Man at testimonial dinner: 47 years ago I walked into this town with my earthly possessions tied in a red bandana on a stick. This town has been good to me-I'm on the board of the bank, own 2 apt. buildings & an office building and have branch businesses in 39 cities. 47 years ago I walked into this town with my earthly possessions tied in a red bandana on a stick. This town has been good to me-I'm on the board of the bank, own 2 apt. buildings & an office building and have branch businesses in 39 cities.Little boy: Sir, what was in that bandana 47 years ago? Sir, what was in that bandana 47 years ago?Man: $300,000 cash. $300,000 cash.

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You know why it's called horse sense-they don't bet on people.

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Technology-what makes it take less time to cross the ocean & longer to drive to work.

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Old fellow: Yep I'm 94 and haven't got an enemy in the world-last one petered out about a yr. ago.

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Ask an atheist who's just had a great meal if he believes there's a cook.

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If all the cans in the world were placed end to end some dope would pull out & try to pa.s.s them.

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A protest march is like a tantrum only better organized. protest march is like a tantrum only better organized.

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The trouble with staying home from work is that you have to drink coffee on your own time.

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Beware of those who fall at your feet. They may be reaching for the corner of the rug.

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Some people want to check govt. spending & some people want to spend govt. checks.

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Today if someone offered us the world on a silver platter most of us would take the platter.

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Money may not buy friends but it will help you to stay in contact with your children.

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As long as there are final exams there will be prayer in schools.