Oh! Susannah! Part 18

Aurora. _(kneeling)_ Yuss! I love Mm with a secret pa.s.sion and I don't care who knows it! _(rises)_

Aunt. It's a perfect harem! _(makes her escape towards door and Exits still un.o.bserved.)_

Aurora. _(C.)_ Don't you think because I'm only a servant, a common slavey with 5 a year and a 'alf a pound o' sugar a week, that I'm a-goin' to 'ave the _dear doctor_ took from me!

Flora. How dare you love him!

Aurora. And why not? 'Cos I wears a cap? Look 'ere! you three girls is all settin' your caps at 'im. I'm in it too. _(throws down cap)_--and I chucks darn the gimlet.

Pearl. You little stupid!

Aurora. _(crying)_ Yuss! I know I'm a little stupid, but which o'

you would put yer 'ole soul into cleanin' 'is boots, as I does?

Which o' you would buy 'im wittles out o' yer perks as _I_ does?

I may be a little stoopid, but I loves 'im more than all of yer put together, and I'll struggle with yer, see if I don't!

_(Exit Aurora.)_

Ruby. _(to Flo)_ Are you going, Miss Garden, or are you not?

Pearl. It'll make your headache much worse if you stay here.

Flora. I shall ask the doctor to give me something to send it away, _(makes herself comfortable on sofa, back to Pearl)_

Pearl. _(to Ruby)_ Isn't she a spiteful little cat!

Ruby. _(to Pearl)_ Never mind, she shan't interfere with our fun; we can't leave those two sitting in that four-wheeler all day.

_(rises, comes to Pearl)_

Pearl. No, come along, We'll go and tell "auntie" to come in.

_(Exeunt Ruby and Pearl.)_

Flora. _(aside)_ I'll make Jack explain about those girls, or I'll break off our--our honeymoon; they talk as if he was engaged to both of them. Now I know why he was so desperately anxious to hide me when their father called.

_(Enter Doctor. in pyjamas and eccentric Turkish dressing gown, rubbing his head with a towel--Flo doesn't see him.)_

Oh, Jack, jack, I never thought you'd turn out such a monster as this!

Doctor. _(surprised to see her)_ Good afternoon, _(fumbles for his eye-gla.s.s which is hanging down his back)_

What can I do for------_(recognizes her)_ My darling wife! This is a pleasant surprise.

Flora. _(starting up)_ Go away, you object! _(crosses R. )_ It's not a _pleasant_ surprise, and I'm _not_ your wife any longer! I know all--oh, Jack!

Doctor. _(aside)_ Those precious jewels have said something.

Confound them! _(advancing to her, timidly)_ My dear Flo, if you will only give me time, I can explain everything!

Flora. _(eagerly)_ Oh, do, Jack, do! _(rushes into his arms)_

_(Enter Ruby and Pearl.)_

Ruby. _(seeing Doctor and Flo together)_ Oh, we didn't know you were engaged.

Pearl. There's another lady wants to see you.

Flora. _(jealously)_ _Another_ lady? _(turns away)_

Doctor. _(eagerly)_ In hysterics?

Pearl. No--in a four-wheeler.

Ruby. She said she'd rung twice, but couldn't make anyone hear.

Doctor. Tupper's never awake when the bell rings. I'll discharge that boy--at least my _half_ of him!

Ruby. I told her I'd see if you were disengaged, and she scribbled her name on her card; here it is. _(reads)_ Miss Susannah Sheppard!

Doctor and Flora. Auntie!

Doctor. _(to Flo)_ She mustn't see me like this--_(looks at the dressing gown)_--and she mustn't see you _at all_, you must fly!

Flora. _(clinging to Jack, who is pale and agitated)_ Oh, Jack!

I can't go and leave you with them, _(looking at Ruby and Pearl)_ Can't you say that I'm one of your patients?

Doctor. Good idea, how clever of you. Get back there, _(on operating couch)_

Ruby. Oh, what fun! Let's all be patients! _(nudges Pearl)_

_(Ruby and Pearl sit down and pretend to be suffering.)_

Doctor. _(to girls)_ All right! All be patients. It'll impress auntie, _(takes off dressing-gown and flings it into bathroom, is just going in--stops)_ No! No time to change, _(s.n.a.t.c.hes his frock coat off chair, and b.u.t.tons it over his pyjamas)_ Remember!

This is the supreme moment of my life. Whatever I say to you--whatever I _do_ to you--you mustn't mind.

Ruby and Pearl. We won't, _(stifling a laugh)_

Doctor. Hus.h.!.+

_(Enter Andrew dressed as Aunt, followed by Waverly.)_

_(to Andrew)_ My dear aunt, I'm so glad to see you. Won't you sit down? _(leads him down to sofa)_

_(Pearl runs to Waverly, and drags him down O. P. corner.)_

Pearl. Come and sit here! Pretend to be a patient! Waver. Why?

_(Pearl explains in dumb show.)_