Speak Bird, Speak Again Part 26

Taking the bowl with him, he went back home. He brought it into the hut with him, locked the door, and said, "Wooden bowl, fill up with rice and meat, topped with yogurt sauce!" And what do you think happened? Before he even had time to look, the bowl had filled with rice and meat, and with sauce covering them. And what now, you might ask? He ate until he could barely move, and every day after that - evening, morning, and noon - he would tell the bowl to fill with whatever food he wanted to eat. He then ate and threw away the rest.

One day he felt bored. "Am I just going to sit around in this shack?" he asked himself. "By Allah, I want to go out and have a good time. But what am I going to do with this bowl?" Then he said, "By Allah, I'm going to leave it with our neighbor" - you might say at the house of Im Falah. Going over to her house, he knocked and said, "Hey, Im Falah, Allah save you! Would you mind keeping this wooden bowl in your house and taking care of it? And mind, don't wreck it while I'm gone by saying to it, 'Wooden bowl, fill with rice and meat; or with cracked wheat, noodles and tomato sauce!' and then eating from it! I'll be gone for a couple of days to have a good time, then I'll be back."

No sooner had he turned his back than Im Falah said, "Wooden bowl, fill with rice and meat, topped with yogurt sauce!" And what! They had barely time to look, when it became full to the brim. The whole family ate till they were stuffed.

"Yee! By Allah, he'll never see it again. We have an old bowl just like this one, and when he comes back we'll give it to him instead. May he never eat! He's all by himself, and we're a whole family. What does he need it for?"

Coming back, the woodcutter knocked on their door, "Im Falah!"

"Yes, brother. What do you want? Do come in, please!"

"For the sake of Allah," he answered, "give me back the wooden bowl. I'm dying of hunger, and I want to go home and eat."

She gave it back to him, or so he thought, and he took it home. Right away he said, "Wooden bowl, fill with rice and meat, topped with yogurt sauce? He waited and waited, but it did not fill. "Fill up with cracked wheat and noodles! Fill up with rice and lentils! Fill up with this or that!" But it did not fill. Nothing at all happened.

When he went to see Im Falah about it, she said, "I don't know what you're talking about, brother. That's the one you brought here and I gave it back to you. What can I do?"

So back to the well he went, and - splas.h.!.+ - dropped it in and started moaning: "Oh! My lava bean, My protection against hunger!"

"What's the matter with you?" asked the dwellers in the well. "Didn't we give you the wooden bowl?"

"It's ruined," he answered. "It's no good any more."

"Well, then," they said, "take this mill! If you turn the handle to the fight, it'll grind gold; and to the left, silver."

Well, he took it with him and went home. Locking the door of his hut, he sat down to grind. Every day he would grind a bit and put it in his pocket, then he would go enjoy himself in Acre, Haifa, or Nazareth. When he had done this for nearly a month, he started to worry. "What if someone should come," he thought, "tear down the door of this shack, and steal the mill?" Taking it to another neighbor, you might say to Noxa's house, he said, "O Im Yasin! For the sake of Allah, won't you keep this little mill in your house for me while I'm gone?"

"Yes, brother, you can leave it here. What's going to happen to it?"

"Meanwhile," he said, "Allah save you! don't use it for grinding gold and silver by turning the handle to the right or to the left!"

No sooner had he turned his back than she set it down and said, "Come, let's try this mill!" And behold! what was the result? The woman went crazy with happiness.

In a day or two, he came back.

"O Im Yasin, for Allah's sake, give me back the mill!"

Taking what she gave him home, he turned the handle this way and that, but it did not grind anything. He spread his legs and sat down. Turn the handle this way, turn the handle that way, till he was exhausted, and still no result.

"d.a.m.n your owner's father!" he cursed it.

Back to the well he went, and - splas.h.!.+ - he dropped it down to the bottom and repeated his lament: "Oh! My fava bean, My protection against hunger?

"Hey, uncle!" they said. "You've destroyed our peace! Didn't we give you the wooden bowl and the little mill? What more do you want?"

"People have robbed them from me," he complained.

"Well," they responded, "in that case take this stick back to the people you left them with and say to it, 'O my stick, keep flitting, on the side of this neighbor hitting!' and it'll keep on bas.h.i.+ng them until they return your things."

Back home he went, straight to Im Falah. "Give me back my wooden bowl!" he said.

"But we already gave it back to you," she insisted.

"All right, then," he said: "O my stick, keep flitting, On the sides of Im Falah hitting!"

And the stick went ahead and beat her and her family until it had softened them up.

"Please, brother," they begged. "For the sake of Allah, may He d.a.m.n your father and your wooden bowl! Go, take it! It's the one over there on the shelf."

He took it and went home. After he had tried it out and made sure that it worked, he left it there and went to Im Yasin's house, where he said: "O my stick, keep flitting, On the sides of Noxa hitting!"

The stick hit her over and over, until she said, "There's your mill over there! Go take it, and may Allah d.a.m.n your father and your mill!"

He took it home, tried it out and found it worked, and lived in comfort from then on.

This is my tale, l've told it, and in your hands I leave it.

The Fisherman

Once there was a fisherman who lived all by himself in a shack. Every day he caught some fish and sold them, saving a few for his neighbor to cook for him. Because he was by himself and had n.o.body, she took pity on him. One day he thought, "Am I to keep imposing on my neighbor like this? By Allah, I'm going out to the coffeehouse for a cup of coffee, and when I come back I'll prepare the fish myself." He put the fish down, covering them with a platter, and went to the coffeehouse, where he sat down to sip a cup of coffee. When he came home, he discovered his house had been visited. While he was gone, a board had dropped from the ceiling, and three daughters of the king of the jinn had come out. One of them had cleaned the fish, another had fried them; then they had left, having first done his dishes and put his house in order.

When he came back, he uncovered the fish and found them all cleaned, sc.r.a.ped, and cooked exactly the way he liked them. "By Allah," he thought, "my neighbor must have taken pity on me and come in to prepare the fish for me." The next day, he went to her house. "Here!" he said. "Take these fish, neighbor, and may Allah reward you! Yesterday you came in and prepared the fish for me at home."

"No, brother," she answered, "I did no such thing. I wouldn't dream of going into your place while you're out."

Going to an elderly barber, he said, "Sir, I want to tell you a story. Yesterday, such and such happened to me."

"Sir," answered the barber, "tomorrow, put the fish down and hide behind the window. Then you'll see who comes into your place and does them for you."

Well, he went and caught a few fish and sold what he wanted to sell, leaving only as many as he could eat. Bringing them home, he covered them with the platter and said, "By Allah, I'm going out to the coffee-house for a cup of coffee, and when I come back I'll prepare them myself." Going out, he turned and stood guard behind the window. The board dropped, and three girls came down. And what girls they were! You might say they were nothing less than daughters of kings. One of them swept the house, the other sc.r.a.ped the fish, and the third put things in order. Quick as a wink, he did not wait for them to finish but opened the door. Two of them disappeared, and the youngest one remained.

"It's settled," she said. "Fate has decreed I'm yours. Besides, I don't dare go back home now. My parents will kill me."

Taking her in, he lived with her. He sent for the cadi, who drew up a marriage contract, and he married her and lived together with her. In two or three days he said, "Are we going to stay in this shack? You already know what I do for a living."

"Don't worry," she answered. "Leave it to me!"

She sent for people, put out a bid on a house, and had one built opposite the king's palace. When she took possession of the house, she furnished and arranged it, and then lived together with her husband.

One day she got up early in the morning and went to the roof to hang out her laundry, when the king saw her.

"To whom does this woman belong, people?"

"This is So-and-So's wife."

Sending for the fisherman, he said, "I want your wife."

"O Ruler of the Age," begged the fisherman, "how can I give you my wife?"

"I don't know how you're going to manage it," responded the king, "but I want her. I'll set an impossible task for you, and if you fail to do it, I'll cut off your head and take your wife."

"What is it?"

"I want you to bring me a grapevine, to be planted in the evening. And in the morning I want to get up and find one bunch of grapes on it. I want to eat from it with my whole army, and it should stay exactly as it is."

The fisherman went crying to his wife.

"It's finished," he lamented. "I'm going to die."

"Don't be afraid," she said. "Go back to the shack we were in and call out, 'You whose height is two hand-spans and whose hat is two finger-lengths, come out? and a creature will appear. Say to him, 'My mistress Xadduj bids you tell my mistress Ayyus to give me a branch of the grapevine growing in front of her house.'"

"All right," he said, and went to call out as she had taught him, bringing back with him a branch of the vine. He went and dug by the door of the palace, planted it, and then headed home.

In the morning, it is said (and if the teller is to be trusted), the king came and found a full-grown grapevine with one duster of grapes on it. He cut it down and ate from it with all his army, and it stayed exactly as it. was. The king then excused the fisherman. But what was he to do? He wanted the fisherman's wife. Waiting a week or two, he sent for him again.

"What do you want, my lord?"

"I want your wife."

"O Ruler of the Age! O son of worthy people! My wife?"

"This time," said the king, "you must bring me a loaf of bread. I will eat from it with my army, and it should stay exactly as it is. Otherwise, I'll cut off your head and take your wife."

Again he went crying to his wife, saying, "Such and such is the story."

"Don't worry," she answered. "Go and call on the same one you called on last time, and say, 'Give me the loaf of bread sitting on the shelf in my family's house.'"

The fisherman went, called out, and the creature came. "My mistress Xadduj," said he, "bids you tell my mistress Ayyus to give me the loaf of bread sitting on the shelf in her family's house." The creature disappeared and then came back with a loaf of bread and said, "Here, master!"

Bringing the bread with him, the fisherman put it in front of the king, who ate from it with all his army, and it stayed exactly as it was. The fisherman then took the bread home with him.

"It's no use," declared the king finally. "Whether it cracks, or whether it rings, I want the fisherman's wife."

And again he sent for him, and said, "I want you to bring me an infant the moment he's born, naked and with his umbilical cord still attached. I want this infant to tell me a tale that's all lies, from beginning to end."

"My lord," said the fisherman, "by the honor of your womenfolk, I beg you!"

"No use," answered the king.

Back to his wife went the fisherman, weeping.

"What's the matter?" she asked.

"Such and such is the story," he answered.

"Fine," she said. "My sister's just now giving birth. Go stand by the door of the shack and call out again. Tell the creature to wait until she's given birth, then have him wrap the baby in a piece of cloth and bring it to you."

The fisherman went and called the creature out, saying to him, "My mistress tells you to give me the baby her sister's giving birth to right now."

"Wait until he's born," replied the creature.

The fisherman waited by the door of the shack, and when she had given birth, the other wrapped the baby in a piece of cloth and brought him.

"Hurry!" urged the fisherman's wife, "Take and put him in front of the king, and don't worry about anything!"

The fisherman carried the baby in his arms to the king's palace.

"Peace to you!" declared the infant the moment they came in.

When they had brought him a chair and the baby sat down in it in front of the king, he said, "O Ruler of the Age, I want to tell you a tale."

"Please go ahead," responded the king, and the infant began his tale: "By Allah, O king, in the old days I used to go around selling olive oil loaded on a rooster. One day the rooster's back broke. I was going around wondering what to do for him, what to use on him, when someone much like yourself showed up.

"'Young man,' said he, 'you've got no recourse but walnuts. Crush a walnut and rub it on the rooster's back, and it will heal.'

"So I went, got hold of a walnut, and crushed and spread it on the rooster's back. In the morning I woke up and found a tree on his back, and it was loaded with walnuts. Even with forty pickers up in it, not one could see the other; and with forty gatherers under it, not one could reach out and touch another.

"Well, I brought pickers and gatherers and had the tree picked and the nuts gathered. Then I looked up and saw one nut still hanging from the tip of the topmost branch. I reached for a handful of dirt and threw it to knock the walnut down, and that handful spread into a plain the size of Marj Ibn Amir on top of the tree. I hired a team of yoked oxen, and set to plowing the plain and planting it with sesame. A caravan pa.s.sed by and said, 'Young man, what're you planting?'

"'By Allah,' I answered, 'I'm planting sesame.'

"'No,' they said. 'By Allah, it's a waste of this soil to plant sesame in it. It's better to plant watermelons.'

"So I hired laborers and had the sesame seeds picked up, one by one. When they were finished, I counted the seeds and found one missing. As I was going around looking for it, I found it in an ant's mouth. With me pulling in one direction and the ant in the other, the seed split and the ant got away with one half and I with the other. I pressed it out, and it yielded a ton of sesame oil.

"After that I started planting watermelons in the plain. I would no sooner plant the seed than the watermelon would grow behind me as large as a big jar. I wanted to cut open a watermelon, so I took hold of one and did like this with the knife, and what should happen but that it slipped from my hand into the watermelon. Taking off my clothes, I jumped inside the watermelon and found I was in a market of butcher shops. As I was wandering around looking for the knife, I found it with one of the butchers. With me pulling in one direction and he in the other, we ended up fighting over the knife. Eventually, I s.n.a.t.c.hed it away from him and struck him a blow that killed him. Then I pulled myself together and came out. And here I am, O Ruler of the Age! I came directly to see you. Whatever you want, I'm ready to do it."

"Uncle," said the king to the fisherman, "take this boy away, and may Allah bless you and your wife! And never again will I claim her."

The fisherman took the boy back to his family, and he lived with his wife in peace and comfort.

This is my tale, I've told it, and in your hands I leave it.

Afterword.