Love In The Suds: A Town Eclogue Part 3

NOTES.

_Poor Dryden! what a theme hadst thou, Compar'd to that which offers now?

What are your Britons, Romans, Grecians, Compar'd with thorough-bred Milesians?

Step into Griffin's shop, he'll tell ye Of Goldsmith, Bickerstaff, and Kelly, Three poets of one age and nation, Whose more than mortal reputation, Mounting in trio to the skies O'er Milton's fame and Virgil's flies.

Nay, take one Irish evidence for t'other, Ev'n Homer's self is but their foster-brother._

[18] It seems indeed to be growing into fas.h.i.+on for philosophy to go in masquerade, if there be any truth in the subject of the following; which lately appeared in the public prints.

To Doctor GOLDSMITH, on seeing his name in the list of the mummers at the late masquerade.

"Say should the philosophic mind disdain That good which makes each humbler bosom vain; Let school-taught pride dissemble all it can, Such little things are great to little man."

GOLDSMITH.

_How widely different, Goldsmith, are the ways Of doctors now, and those of ancient days!

Theirs taught the truth in academic shades, Ours haunt lewd hops, and midnight masquerades!

So chang'd the times! say philosophic sage, Whose genius suits so well this tasteful age, Is the Pantheon, late a sink obscene, Become the fountain of chaste Hippocrene?

Or do thy moral numbers quaintly flow Inspir'd by th' Aganippe of Soho?_

For who like him will patch and pilfer plays, Yielding to me the profit and the praise?

Tho' cheap in French translations MURPHY deals; For cheap he well may vend the goods he steals; Tho' modest CRADDOC scorns to sell his play, But gives the good-for-nothing thing away; What tho' the courtly c.u.mBERLAND succeeds In writing stuff no man of letters reads; Tho' sense and language are expell'd the stage; For nonsense pleases best a senseless age; What tho' the author of the New Bath Guide Up to the skies my talents late hath cried;[19]

NOTES.

_Do wisdom's sons gorge cates and vermicelli Like beastly Bickerstaff or bothering Kelly?

Or art thou tir'd of th' undeserv'd applause Bestow'd on bards affecting virtue's cause?

Wouldst thou, like Sterne, resolv'd at length to thrive, Turn pimp and die c.o.c.k-bawd at sixty-five, Is this the good that makes the humble vain, The good philosophy should not disdain If so, let pride dissemble all it can, A modern sage is still much less than man._

MORNING CHRONICLE.

[19] The compliments pa.s.sed between these celebrated geniuses indeed were mutual; Mr. A. commending ROSCIUS for his fine acting, and Roscius in return Mr. A. for his fine writing. The panegyric on both sides was equally modest and just; and yet some snarling epigrammatist could not forbear throwing out the following ill-natured jeu d'esprit on the occasion.

On the poetical compliments lately pa.s.sed between Mess. G. and A.

_When mincing masters, met with misses, Pay mutual compliments for kisses; Miss Polly sings no doubt divinely, And master Jacky spouts as finely.

But, how I hate such odious greeting, When two old stagers have a meeting Foh! out upon the filthy pother!

What!_ men _bes...o...b..r one another!_

Tho' humble HIFFERNAN in pay, I keep, Still my fast friend, when he is fast asleep; Tho' long the Hodmandod my friend hath been, With the land-tortoise earth'd at Turnham-Green:[20]

Tho' HARRY WOODFALL, BALDWIN, EVANS, SAY,[21]

My puffs in fairest order full display;

NOTES.

[20] Two amphibious monsters, well known in the republic of letters as editors of the Critical and Monthly Reviews. The latter seems to be compared by the poet to a land-tortoise buried in the earth, on account of the slowness of its motion and the clouds of dust and dullness with which it is surrounded: the former hath been long known by the above appellation from the following humorous description.

LUSUS NATURae TYPOGRAPHUS.

Monstrum horrendum informe ingens cui lumen ademptum.

VIRG.

I thought some of Nature's journeymen had made men, and not made them well; they imitated humanity so abominably

SHAKESPEARE.

_In Nature's workshop, on a day, Her journeymen inclin'd to play, Half drunk 'twixt cup and can, Took up a clod, which she with care Was modelling a huge sea bear, And swore they'd make't a man._

_They tried, but, handling ill their tools, Formed, like a pack of bungling fools, A thing so gross and odd; That, when it roll'd about the dish, They knew not if 'twere flesh or fish, A man or Hodmandod._

_Yet, to compleat their piece of fun, They christen'd it Arch Hamilton; "But what can this thing do?"

Kick it down stairs; the devil's in't If it won't do to write and print The Critical Review._

KENRICK.

[21] Editors and printers of news-papers, well known to the public for their impartiality in regard to ROSCIUS.

Impartially insert each friendly PRO, Suppressing ever CON of every foe;[22]

For well I ween, they wot that _cons_ and _pros_ Will tend my faults and follies to expose: Tho' mighty TOM doth still my champion prove, And LOCKYER's gauntlet be a chicken glove.

NOTES.

[22] A recent instance of this must not pa.s.s unnoticed. In the Public Advertiser appeared lately the following quaint panegyric, suggested probably to ROSCIUS himself by his brother GEORGE the attorney.

Nature } against } Notice of Process.

G---- }

_Dame Nature against G---- now by me Her action brings, and thus she grounds her plea.

"I never made a man but still You acted like that man at will; Yet ever must I hope in vain To make a man like you again."

Hence ruin'd totally by you, She brings her suit, &c. &c._

B. Solicitor for the Plaintiff.

In reply to this notice, it is said, the _defendant's plea_ would have appeared in the same paper; but the cause was obliged to be removed by _certiorari_ to another court; when it appeared thus:

Nature } against } Defendant's Plea.

G---- }

_For G---- I without a fee 'Gainst Nature thus put in his plea.

"To make a man, like me, of art, Is not, 'tis true, dame Nature's part; I own that Scrub, fool, knave I've play'd With more success than all my trade; But prove it, plaintiff, if you can, That e'er I acted like a man."

Of this we boldly make denial.---- Join issue, and proceed to trial._

A. Attorney for the Defendant.