Troublesome Comforts Part 3

Susie went back to the window-sill, and huddled up close to Tom. With blank eyes she looked at the stars and the moon bursting from behind hurrying clouds. Even when she put her fingers into her ears that rasping cough pursued her. Tom's heavy head fell against her, and she knew he ought to be in bed; but it wanted really desperate courage to shake him into consciousness and get him up somehow to his room.

And upstairs, next to Tom's little bed, was an empty s.p.a.ce, from which a crib had been hastily wheeled into the next room. On the floor beside it lay a vest and knickerbockers, still heavy with sea water, and a red tin pail and spade. It made Susie sick to look at them. But she got Tom at last into his bed, and covered him up. He tried to say his prayers, but he was too sleepy; and Susie hushed him at last, and crept away to her own little room in the dark.

Amy was so soundly asleep that she did not even turn; but Susie could not rest. All through the miserable hours she sat straight up in bed, looking before her with staring eyes, and listening to the uneasy movements next door.

It was almost morning when Amy woke at last and turned her startled gaze on Susie's face, but what she read there drove her out of her own bed and on to Susie's. Then she stretched out two comforting little arms and held her close.

"Don't, Susie, don't," she said breathlessly; "it wasn't your fault."

"Yes, it was," said Susie harshly.

Amy rubbed her rosy cheek against Susie's sleeve, and at the touch Susie's frozen heart melted. Tears came and sobs, till the sheet was wet, and she could only speak in gasps.

"Mother _trusted_ me! I am going to mother, Amy. I can't bear it any more. If d.i.c.k dies, it is me that did it. I was the only one who knew."

"Let me get your shoes," said Amy.

But Susie would not wait. She slipped out of bed on to the cold boards--a small, miserable figure, disfigured with crying--whilst Amy watched her breathlessly. She opened the door and listened. Every one seemed to be asleep, except that in the room next door she heard hushed voices and the tread of careful feet, then the rattle of a cup and d.i.c.k's cough. She opened the door as gently as she could and looked in. The blind was up and a fire burning. The tent of blankets had been pulled down, and d.i.c.k, with the poultice still on his chest, was sitting up in bed, wrapped in a soft red shawl. By the table stood nurse, making tea; and his mother, looking pale and tired, was sitting by the crib. She looked up when the door opened, and without a word held out her arms.

Susie fairly tumbled into them.

"O mother," she kept repeating, as if nothing more would come.

"_Susie!_" said mother.

"Oh, I have been awake all night!" Susie panted out the words. "If he had died it would have been my fault. Mother, is he getting well?"

"My darling Susie," said mother, "I had not time to come to you. I never dreamt you were awake. d.i.c.k is _much_ better; but he has been very bad, and he must go to sleep."

"Mother, let me tell you! I am so _wicked_. _I felt sure_ they would not be really naughty; I_ felt certain--_"

"Susie," said mother faintly, "_I_ must go to sleep too. Some other time we will talk it over, but not now."

"But I can't sleep," said Susie, "unless I tell you first."

"Come, Susie, try. I am sure it would be a great comfort to make excuses; but, just for once, choose the harder part, and say nothing. You and I, Susie, must get our beauty-sleep."

She stroked the flaxen pigtail and gently unloosed Susie's clinging hands.

"Come, let me tuck you in," she said.

"Nurse is going to stay with d.i.c.k. Susie, I am very, very tired."

Susie's sobs ceased suddenly, and she stood up straight. It was the hardest battle she had ever fought, but she was never one for half measures. In perfect silence she allowed her mother to lead her away and tuck her comfortably into the little bed, where Amy patiently waited for her, and then, still silently, she put her two arms round her mother and hugged her.

"Oh, thank you, Susie," mother said gratefully.

CHAPTER V.

d.i.c.k took many days to get well, and all the time his crib remained in the corner of his mother's room. The red pail and spade were tidied away, and his knickerbocker suit was put out of sight; and in the afternoon, when the house was empty, and nurse, and Susie, and Amy, and Tom, and baby were all out on the sands, his mother used to read delightful stories to him, whilst he lay and watched her with round, wondering eyes.

His cough was troublesome at night, but however often he twisted, and turned, and choked, there was the familiar face bending over him, her arm beneath his head.

d.i.c.k was a very kind little boy, and he tried always to cough under the bed-clothes, so as not to wake her, but it was no use. However carefully he coughed, her eyes always opened at once.

"I am taking away your peace-time," he said, over and over again. And she always answered, "Never mind, darling; I _could_ not sleep if you wanted me."

"You look so funny," he said once.

"Perhaps I am tired, d.i.c.kie."

But she smiled as she spoke, and he felt relieved. It was when she was too tired to smile that her face was strange.

And Susie's behaviour was quite angelic. She was happy and busy, and brimful of good resolutions. She gave up many and many a morning on the sands to play with d.i.c.k, and to let her mother go out to walk or shop.

Her astonis.h.i.+ng meekness was a constant surprise to Tom, and he was relieved by occasional flashes of temper, which showed him that the old Susie was only sleeping, not dead!

But at last d.i.c.k was able to be wheeled down to the sands in Alick's perambulator, and perhaps it was the joy of his recovery that turned Susie's head, or perhaps she was tired of her long spell of goodness, but whatever the reason, she was particularly teasing and tiresome. She did not like to see her mother sitting close to d.i.c.k, ready to wheel him home if he was tired; and she would not allow her to read in peace, but kept breaking in with silly questions and remarks.

"You never let _me_ sit in your pocket," she said at last crossly.

"My dear Susie"--mother shut her book with a very faint sigh--"there is not room for all of you on my lap. I should have to nurse an arm or a leg at a time."

"You could _make_ room," said Susie.

"She would be like the donkey that wanted to be a lap-dog, wouldn't she, mother?" said Tom. "It sat upon its master's lap."

Every one laughed, except Susie.

"Well, I'm not a donkey," she said, "and I'm not a lap-dog; and, besides, you want to yourself."

"No, I don't," said Tom stoutly. "I hate to sit on any one's lap; if you are so anxious you can sit on nurse's."

Susie's eyes threatened to overflow.

"Oh, don't cry, Susie," said her mother, in alarm, "or I shall have to put up my umbrella. Go and build a castle with Tom, and take Amy. I trust her to you. Nurse and I must get the babies home."

Susie always rose to any demand made upon her, and was proud of being trusted. She gathered d.i.c.k's sh.e.l.ls and seaweed and glittering stones skilfully into his pail, and was really helpful in rolling up the rugs and cus.h.i.+ons. She was so pleased to see his rather thin, unsteady legs gathering strength as they wobbled slowly over the sand. When she put her arm round him, she was proud to feel that he really needed support. At the foot of the wooden steps leading up the cliff his mother took him in her arms. She was looking tired and pale, but she smiled very sweetly at Susie.

"My kind little daughter," she said; and Susie beamed.

When she got back to Tom and Amy she found that they were not alone: two other children, a boy and a girl, with bare feet and tucked-up skirts, were standing talking to them.

The boy had black eyes and black hair, and the girl was the image of him; her long, thin legs were like pipe stems, and she spoke in a loud, domineering voice.

"We have watched you all the week," she said, "and we made up our minds to know you. We thought we had better wait until your mother and nurse were out of sight, in case they forbid us to come. Us two are twins."