Esther Waters Part 34

"Jackie'd never do that, miss; he'd know I acted for the best."

"If you again found yourself out of a situation, and saw Jackie crying for his dinner, you'd reproach yourself."

"I don't think I should, miss."

"I know you are very obstinate, Esther. When does Parsons return?"

"In about a week, miss."

"Without telling William anything about Parsons, you'll be able to find out whether it is his intention to interfere in your life. I quite agree with you that it is important that the two men should not meet; but it seems to me, by refusing to speak to William, by refusing to let him see Jackie, you are doing all you can to bring about the meeting that you wish to avoid. Is he much about here?"

"Yes, miss, he seems hardly ever out of the street, and it do look so bad for the 'ouse. I do feel that ashamed. Since I've been with you, miss, I don't think you've 'ad to complain of followers."

"Well, don't you see, you foolish girl, that he'll remain hanging about, and the moment Parsons comes back he'll hear of it. You'd better see to this at once."

"Whatever you says, miss, always do seem right, some 'ow. What you says do seem that reasonable, and yet I don't know how to bring myself to go to 'im. I told 'im that I didn't want no truck with 'im."

"Yes, I think you said so. It is a delicate matter to advise anyone in, but I feel sure I am right when I say that you have no right to refuse to allow him to do something for the child. Jackie is now eight years old, you've not the means of giving him a proper education, and you know the disadvantage it has been to you not to know how to read and write."

"Jackie can read beautifully--Mrs. Lewis 'as taught him."

"Yes, Esther; but there's much besides reading and writing. Think over what I've said; you're a sensible girl; think it out when you go to bed to-night."

Next day, seeing William in the street, she went upstairs to ask Miss Rice's permission to go out. "Could you spare me, miss, for an hour or so?" was all she said. Miss Rice, who had noticed a man loitering, replied, "Certainly, Esther."

"You aren't afraid to be left in the house alone, miss? I shan't be far away."

"No. I am expecting Mr. Alden. I'll let him in, and can make the tea myself."

Esther ran up the area steps and walked quickly down the street, as if she were going on an errand. William crossed the road and was soon alongside of her.

"Don't be so 'ard on a chap," he said. "Just listen to reason."

"I don't want to listen to you; you can't have much to say that I care for."

Her tone was still stubborn, but he perceived that it contained a change of humour.

"Come for a little walk, and then, if you don't agree with what I says, I'll never come after you again."

"You must take me for a fool if you think I'd pay attention to your promises."

"Esther, hear me out; you're very unforgiving, but if you'd hear me out----"

"You can speak; no one's preventing you that I can see."

"I can't say it off like that; it is a long story. I know that I've behaved badly to you, but it wasn't as much my fault as you think; I could explain a good lot of it."

"I don't care about your explanations. If you've only got explanations----"

"There's that boy."

"Oh, it is the boy you're thinking of?"

"Yes, and you too, Esther. The mother can't be separated from the child."

"Very likely; the father can, though."

"If you talk that snappish I shall never get out what I've to say. I've treated you badly, and it is to make up for the past as far as I can--"

"And how do you know that you aren't doing harm by coming after me?"

"You mean you're keeping company with a chap and don't want me?"

"You don't know I'm not a married woman; you don't know what kind of situation I'm in. You comes after me just because it pleases your fancy, and don't give it a thought that you mightn't get me the sack, as you got it me before."

"There's no use nagging; just let's go where we can have a talk, and then if you aren't satisfied you can go your way and I can go mine. You said I didn't know that you wasn't married. I don't, but if you aren't, so much the better. If you are, you've only to say so and I'll take my hook. I've done quite enough harm, without coming between you and your husband."

William spoke earnestly, and his words came so evidently from his heart that Esther was touched against her will.

"No, I ain't married yet," she replied.

"I'm glad of that."

"I don't see what odds it can make to you whether I'm married or not. If I ain't married, you are."

William and Esther walked on in silence, listening to the day as it hushed in quiet suburban murmurs. The sky was almost colourless--a faded grey, that pa.s.sed into an insignificant blue; and upon this almost neutral tint the red suburb appeared in rigid outline, like a carving. At intervals the wind raised a cloud of dust in the roadway. Stopping before a piece of waste ground, William said--

"Let's go in there; we'll be able to talk easier." Esther raised no objection. They went in and looked for a place where they could sit down.

"This is just like old times," said William, moving a little closer.

"If you are going to begin any of that nonsense I'll get up and go. I only came out with you because you said you had something particular to say about the child."

"Well, it is only natural that I should like to see my son."

"How do you know it's a son?"

"I thought you said so. I should like it to be a boy--is it?"

"Yes, it is a boy, and a lovely boy too; very different to his father.

I've always told him that his father is dead."

"And is he sorry?"

"Not a bit. I've told him his father wasn't good to me; and he don't care for those who haven't been good to his mother."

"I see, you've brought him up to hate me?"