The Dodge Club Part 56

"A song, d.i.c.k!" cried the Senator, who always liked to hear d.i.c.k sing. d.i.c.k looked modest.

[Ill.u.s.tration: An International Affair.]

"Strike up!"

"What?"

"The 'Scoodoo abscook!'" cried Mr Figgs.

"No; 'The Old Cow!'" cried b.u.t.tons.

"'The Pig by the Banks of the River!'" said the Doctor.

"d.i.c.k, don't," said the Senator. "I'll tell you an appropriate song.

These Frenchmen believe in France. We believe in America. Each one thinks there is nothing like Leather. Sing 'Leather,' then."

FIGGS. b.u.t.tONS. THE DOCTOR.} "Yes, 'Leather!'"

"Then let it be 'Leather,'" said d.i.c.k; and he struck up the following (which may not be obtained of any of the music publishers), to a very peculiar tune:

I.

"Mercury! Patron of melody, Father of Music and Lord, Thine was the skill that invented Music's harmonious chord.

Sweet were the sounds that arose, Sweetly they blended together; Thus, in the ages of old, Music arose out of--LEATHER!

[_Full chorus by all the company_.]

"Then Leather! sing Leather! my lads!

Mercury! Music!! and Leather!!!

Of all the things under the sun, Hurrah! there is nothing like _Leather_!

[_Extra Chorus, descriptive of a Cobbler hammering on his Lapstone_.]

"Then Rub a dub, dub!

Rub a dub, dub!

Rub a dub, dub!!! say we!

II.

"War is a wonderful science, Mars was its patron, I'm told, How did he used to accoutre Armies in battles of old?

With casque, and with sling, and with s.h.i.+eld, With bow-string and breastplate together; Thus, in the ages of old, War was begun out of--LEATHER!

[_Chorus_.]

"Then Leather! sing Leather! my lads!

Mars and his weapons of Leather!!!

Of all the things under the sun, Hurrah! there is nothing like _Leather_!

[_Extra Chorus_.]

"Then Rub a dub, dub!

Rub a dub, dub!

Rub a dub, dub!!! say we!

III.

"Love is a pleasing emotion, All of us know it by heart; Whence, can you tell me, arises Love's overpowering smart?

Tipped with an adamant barb, Gracefully tufted with feather, Love's irresistible dart Comes from a quiver of--LEATHER!

[_Chorus_.]

"Then Leather! sing Leather, my lads!

Darts! and Distraction!! and Leather!!!

Of all the things under the sun, Hurrah! there is nothing like _Leather_!

[_Extra Chorus_.]

"Then Rub a dub, dub!

Rub a dub, dub!

Rub a dub, dub!!! say we!

IV.

"Orators wrote out their speeches, Poets their verses recited, Statesmen promulgated edicts, Sages their maxims indited.

Parchment, my lads, was the article All used to write on together; Thus the Republic of Letters Sprang into life out of--LEATHER!

[_Chorus_.]

"Then Leather! sing Leather, my lads!

Poetry! Science!! and Leather!!!

Of all the things under the sun, Hurrah! there is nothing like _Leather_!

[_Extra Chorus_.]

"Then Rub a dub, dub!

Rub a dub, dub!

Rub a dub, dub!!! say we!"