The Young Gentleman and Lady's Monitor, and English Teacher's Assistant Part 3

Your humble servant.'

SPECTATOR, Vol. 1. No. 38.

19. Nature does nothing in vain; the Creator of the Universe has appointed every thing to a certain use and purpose, and determined it to a settled course and sphere of action, from which, if it in the least deviates, it becomes unfit to answer those ends for which it was designed.

20. In like manner it is in the disposition of society: the civil oeconomy is formed in a chain as well as the natural; and in either case the breach but of one link puts the whole in some disorder. It is, I think, pretty plain, that most of the absurdity and ridicule we meet with in the world, is generally owing to the impertinent affectation of excelling in characters men are not fit for, and for which nature never designed them.

21. Every man has one or more qualities which may make him useful both to himself and others: Nature never fails of pointing them out, and while the infant continues under her guardians.h.i.+p, she brings him on in his way, and then offers herself for a guide in what remains of the journey; if he proceeds in that course, he can hardly miscarry: Nature makes good her engagements; for as she never promises what she is not able to perform, so she never fails of performing what she promises.

22. But the misfortune is, men despise what they may be masters of, and affect what they are not fit for; they reckon themselves already possessed of what their genius inclines them to, and so bend all their ambition to excel in what is out of their reach; thus they destroy the use of their natural talents, in the same manner as covetous men do their quiet and repose; they can enjoy no satisfaction in what they have, because of the absurd inclination they are possessed with for what they have not.

23. _Cleanthes_ had good sense, a great memory, and a const.i.tution capable of the closest application: in a word, there was no profession in which _Cleanthes_ might not have made a very good figure; but this won't satisfy him; he takes up an unaccountable fondness for the character of a line gentleman; all his thoughts are bent upon this, instead of attending a dissection, frequenting the courts of justice, or studying the Fathers.

24. _Cleanthes_ reads plays, dances, dresses, and spends his time in drawing rooms, instead of being a good lawyer, divine, or physician; _Cleanthes_ is a down-right c.o.xcomb, and will remain to all that knew him a contemptible example of talents misapplied. It is to this affectation the world owes its whole race of c.o.xcombs; Nature in her whole drama never drew such a part; she has sometimes made a fool, but a c.o.xcomb is always of a man's own making, by applying his talents otherwise than nature designed, who ever bears an high resentment for being put out of her course, and never fails of taking revenge on those that do so.

25. Opposing her tendency in the application of a man's parts, has the same success as declining from her course in the production of vegetables; by the a.s.sistance of art and an hot bed, we may possibly extort an unwilling plant, or an untimely sallad; but how weak, how tasteless, and insipid! Just as insipid as the poetry of _Valerio_.

26. _Valerio_ had an universal character, was genteel, had learning, thought justly, spoke correctly; 'twas believed there was nothing in which _Valerio_ did not excel; and 'twas so far true, that there was but one: _Valerio_ had no genius for poetry, yet was resolved to be a poet; he writes verses, and takes great pains to convince the town, that _Valerio_ is not that extraordinary person he was taken for.

27. If men would be content to graft upon nature, and a.s.sist her operations, what mighty effects might we expect? _Tully_ would not stand so much alone in oratory, _Virgil_ in poetry, or _Caesar_ in war. To build upon nature, is laying the foundation upon a rock; every thing disposes itself into order as it were of course, and the whole work is half done as soon as undertaken. _Cicero's_ genius inclined him to oratory, _Virgil_'s to follow the train of the muses; they piously obeyed the admonition, and were rewarded.

28. Had _Virgil_ attended the bar, his modest and ingenuous virtue would surely have made but a very indifferent figure: and _Tully_'s declamatory inclination would have been as useless in poetry. Nature, if left to herself, leads us on in the best course, but will do nothing by compulsion and constraint; and if we are not satisfied to go her way, we are always the greatest sufferers by it.

29. Wherever nature designs a production, she always disposes seeds proper for it, which are as absolutely necessary to the formation of any moral or intellectual existence, as they are to the being and growth of plants; and I know not by what fate and folly it is, that men are taught not to reckon him equally absurd that will write verses in spite of nature, with that gardener that should undertake to raise a jonquil or tulip, without the help of their respective seeds.

30. As there is no good or bad quality that does not affect both s.e.xes, so it is not to be imagined but the fair s.e.x must have suffered by an affectation of this nature, at least as much as the other: the ill effect of it is in none so conspicuous as in the two opposite characters of _Caelia_ and _Iras_. _Caelia_ has all the charms of person, together with an abundant sweetness of nature, but wants wit, and has a very ill voice: _Iras_ is ugly and ungenteel, but has wit and good sense.

31. If _Caelia_ would be silent, her beholders would adore her; if _Iras_ would talk, her hearers would admire her; but _Caelia_'s tongue runs incessantly, while _Iras_ gives herself silent airs and soft languors; so that 'tis difficult to persuade one's self that _Caelia_ has beauty, and _Iras_ wit: each neglects her own excellence, and is ambitious of the other's character: _Iras_ would be thought to have as much beauty as _Caelia_, and _Caelia_ as much wit as _Iras_.

32. The great misfortune of this affectation is, that men not only lose a good quality, but also contract a bad one: they not only are unfit for what they were designed, but they a.s.sign themselves to what they are not fit for; and instead of making a very good, figure one way, make a very ridiculous one in another.

33. If _Semanthe_ would have been satisfied with her natural complexion, she might still have been celebrated by the name of the olive beauty; but _Semanthe_ has taken up an affectation to white and red, and is now distinguished by the character of the lady that paints so well.

34. In a word, could the world be reformed to the obedience of that famed dictate, _follow nature_, which the oracle of _Delphos_ p.r.o.nounced to _Cicero_ when he consulted what course of studies he should pursue, we should see almost every man as eminent in his proper sphere as _Tully_ was in his, and should in a very short time find impertinence and affectation banished from among the women, and c.o.xcombs and false characters from among the men.

35. For my part I could never consider this preposterous repugnancy to nature any otherwise, than not only as the greatest folly, but also one of the most heinous crimes, since it is a direct opposition to the disposition of providence, and (as _Tully_ expresses it) like the sin of the giants, an actual rebellion against heaven.

SPECTATOR, Vol. VI. No. 404.

_Good Humour and Nature_.

1. A man advanced in years that thinks fit to look back upon his former life, and calls that only life which was pa.s.sed with satisfaction and enjoyment, excluding all parts which were not pleasant to him, will find himself very young, if not in his infancy. Sickness, ill-humour, and idleness, will have robbed him of a great share of that s.p.a.ce we ordinarily call our life.

2. It is therefore the duty of every man that would be true to himself, to obtain, if possible, a disposition to be pleased, and place himself in a constant apt.i.tude for the satisfaction of his being. Instead of this, you hardly see a man who is not uneasy in proportion to his advancement in the arts of life.

3. An affected delicacy is the common improvement we meet with in these who pretend to be refined above others: they do not aim at true pleasure themselves, but turn their thoughts upon observing the false pleasures of other men. Such people are valetudinarians in society, and they should no more come into company than a sick man should come into the air.

4. If a man is too weak to bear what is a refreshment to men in health, he must still keep his chamber. When any one in Sir _Roger_'s company complains he is out of order, he immediately calls for some posset drink for him; for which reason that sort of people, who are ever bewailing their const.i.tutions in other places, are the cheerfulest imaginable when he is present.

5. It is a wonderful thing that so many, and they not reckoned absurd, shall entertain those with whom they converse, by giving them the history of their pains and aches; and imagine such narrations their quota of the conversation. This is, of all others, the-meanest help to discourse, and a man must not think at all, or think himself very insignificant, when he finds an account of his head ache answered by another asking, what news in the last mail?

6. Mutual good humour is a dress we ought to appear in wherever we meet, and we should make no mention of what concerns ourselves, without it be of matters wherein our friends ought to rejoice: but indeed there are crowds of people who put themselves in no method of pleasing themselves or others; such are those whom we usually call indolent persons.

7. Indolence is, methinks, an intermediate state between pleasure and pain, and very much unbecoming any part of our life after we are out of the nurse's arms. Such an aversion to labour creates a constant weariness, and one would think should make existence itself a burden.

8. The indolent man descends from the dignity of his nature, and makes that being which was rational, merely vegetative; his life consists only in the mere increase and decay of a body, which, with relation to the rest of the world, might as well have been uninformed, as the habitation of a reasonable mind.

9. Of this kind is the life of that extraordinary couple, _Harry Tersett_ and his lady. _Harry_ was, in the days of his celibacy, one of those pert creatures who have much vivacity and little understanding; Mrs. _Rebecca Quickly_, whom he married, had all that the fire of youth and a lively manner could do towards making an agreeable woman.

10. These two people of seeming merit fell into each other's arms; and pa.s.sion being sated, and no reason or good sense in either to succeed it, their life is now at a stand; their meals are insipid, and time tedious; their fortune has placed them above care, and their loss of taste reduced them below diversion.

11. When we talk of these as instances of inexistence, we do not mean, that in order to live it is necessary we should always be in jovial crews, or crowned with chaplets of roses, as the merry fellows among the ancients are described; but it is intended by considering these contraries to pleasure, indolence and too much delicacy, to shew that it is prudent to preserve a disposition in ourselves, to receive a certain delight in all we hear and see.

12. This portable quality of good-humour seasons all the parts and occurrences we meet with; in such a manner, that there are no moments lost; but they all pa.s.s with so much satisfaction, that the heaviest of loads (when it is a load) that of time, is never felt by us.

13. _Varilas_ has this quality to the highest perfection, and communicates it wherever he appears: the sad, the merry, the severe, the melancholy, shew a new cheerfulness when he comes amongst them. At the same time no one can repeat any thing that _Varilas_ has ever said that deserves repet.i.tion; but the man has that innate goodness of temper, that he is welcome to every body, because every man thinks he is so to him.

14. He does not seem to contribute any thing to the mirth of the company; and yet upon reflection you find it all happened by his being there. I thought it was whimsically said of a gentleman, That if _Varilas_ had wit, it would be the best wit in the world. It is certain when a well corrected lively imagination and good-breeding are added to a sweet disposition, they qualify it to be one of the greatest blessings, as well as pleasures of life.

15. Men would come into company with ten times the pleasure they do, if they were sure of bearing nothing which should shock them, as well as expected what would please them. When we know every person that is spoken of is represented by one who has no ill-will, and every thing that is mentioned described by one that is apt to set it in the best light, the entertainment must be delicate, because the cook has nothing bought to his hand, but what is the most excellent in its kind.

16. Beautiful pictures are the entertainments of pure minds, and deformities of the corrupted. It is a degree towards the life of angels, when we enjoy conversation wherein there is nothing present but in its excellence; and a degree towards that of demons, wherein nothing is shewn but in its degeneracy.

SPECTATOR, Vol. II. No. 100.

_Friends.h.i.+p_.

1. One would think that the larger the company is in which we are engaged, the greater variety of thoughts and subjects would be started in discourse; but instead of this, we find that conversation is never so much straitened and confined as in numerous a.s.semblies.

2. When a mult.i.tude meet together upon any subject of discourse, their debates are taken up chiefly with forms; and general positions; nay, if we come into a more contracted a.s.sembly of men and women, the talk generally runs upon the weather, fas.h.i.+ons, news, and the like public topics.

3. In proportion as conversation gets into clubs and knots of friends, it descends into particulars, and grows more free and communicative; but the most open, instructive, and unreserved discourse, is that which pa.s.ses between two persons who are familiar and intimate friends.

4. On these occasions, a man gives a loose to every pa.s.sion, and every thought that is uppermost discovers his most retired opinions of persons and things, tries the beauty and strength of his sentiments, and exposes his whole soul to the examination of his friend.

5. _Tully_ was the first who observed, that friends.h.i.+p improves happiness and abates misery, by the doubling of our joy and dividing of our grief; a thought in which he hath been followed by all the essayers upon friends.h.i.+p, that have written since his time. Sir _Francis Bacon_ has finally described other advantages, or, as he calls them, fruits of friends.h.i.+p; and indeed there is no subject of morality which has been better handled and more exhausted than this.

6. Among the several fine things which have been spoken of, I shall beg leave to quote some out of a very ancient author, whose book would be regarded by our modern wits as one of the most s.h.i.+ning tracts of morality that is extant, if it appeared under the name of a _Confucius_ or of any celebrated Grecian philosopher; I mean the little Apocryphal Treatise, ent.i.tled the Wisdom of the Son of _Sirach_.

7. How finely has he described the art of making friends, by an obliging and affable behaviour! And laid down that precept which a late excellent author has delivered as his own, "That we should have many well-wishers, but few friends." Sweet language will multiply friends; and a fair-speaking tongue will increase kind greetings. Be in peace with many, nevertheless have but one counsellor of a thousand.