Lalage's Lovers Part 14

"This," he said, handing me a long typewritten doc.u.ment, "is from the Amalgamated a.s.sociation of Licensed Publicans. You needn't read it. It simply asks you to pledge yourself to oppose all legislation calculated to injure the trade. This is your answer."

He handed me another typewritten doc.u.ment.

"Shall I read it?" I asked.

"You needn't unless you like. All I require is your signature."

I have learned caution in the diplomatic service. I read my letter before signing it, although I intended to sign it whatever it might commit me to. I had promised my uncle and given the Conservative and Unionist Parliamentary a.s.sociation to understand that I would place myself unreservedly in t.i.therington's hands.

"I see," I said, "that I pledge myself----"

"You give the Amalgamated a.s.sociation to understand that you pledge yourself," said t.i.therington.

"The same thing, I suppose?"

"Not quite," said t.i.therington grinning again.

"Anyhow," I said, "it's the proper thing, the usual thing to do?"

"O'Donoghue has done it, and I expect that ruffian Vittie will have to in the end, little as he'll like it."

I signed.

"Here," said t.i.therington, "is the letter of the joint committee of the Temperance Societies."

"There appear to be twenty-three of them," I said, glancing at the signatures.

"There are; and if there were only ten voters in each it would be more than we could afford to lose. Vittie thinks he has them all safe in his breeches pocket, but I have a letter here which will put his hair out of curl for a while."

"I hate men with curly hair," I said. "It's so effeminate."

t.i.therington seemed to think this remark foolish, though I meant it as an additional evidence of my determination to oppose Vittie to the last.

"Read the letter," he said.

I read it. If such a thing had been physically possible it would have put my hair into curl. It did, I feel almost certain, make it rise up and stand on end.

"I see by this letter," I said, "that I am pledging myself to support some very radical temperance legislation."

"You're giving them to understand that you pledge yourself. There's a difference, as I told you before."

"I may find myself in rather an awkward position if----"

"You'll, be in a much awkwarder one if Vittie gets those votes and lets O'Donoghue in!"

t.i.therington spoke in such a determined tone that I signed the letter at once.

"Is there anything else?" I asked. "Now that I am pledging myself in this wholesale way there's no particular reason why I shouldn't go on."

t.i.therington shuffled his papers about.

"Most of the rest of them," he said, "are just the ordinary things. We needn't worry about them. There's only one other letter--ah! here it is.

By the way, have you any opinions about woman's suffrage?"

"Not one," I said, "but I don't, of course, want to be ragged if it can be avoided. Shall I pledge myself to get votes for all the unmarried women in the const.i.tuency, or ought I to go further?"

t.i.therington looked at me severely. Then he said:

"It won't do us any harm if Vittie is made to smell h.e.l.l by a few militant Suffragettes."

"After the hole he's put us in about temperance," I said, "he'll deserve the worst they can do to him."

"In any ordinary case I'd hesitate; for women are a nuisance, a d----d nuisance. But this is going to be such an infernally near thing that I'm half inclined---- It's nuts and apples to them to get their knives into any one calling himself a Liberal, which shows they have some sense.

Besides, the offer has, so to speak, dropped right into our mouths. It would be sinning against our mercies and flying in the face of Providence not to consider it."

I had, up to that moment, no reason for suspecting t.i.therington of any exaggerated respect for Providence. But there are queer veins of religious feeling in the most hard-headed men. I saw that t.i.therington had a theological side to his character and I respected him all the more for it.

"Here's a letter," he said, "from one of the suffrage societies, offering to send down speakers to help us. As I said before, women are a nuisance, but it's just possible that there may be a few cranks among that temperance lot. You'll notice that if a man has one fad he generally runs to a dozen, and there may be a few who really want women to get votes. We can't afford to chuck away any chances. If I could get deputations from the Anti-Vaccinationists and the Anti-Gamblers I would.

But I'd be afraid of their going back on us and supporting Vittie.

Anyhow, if these women are the right sort they'll pursue Vittie round and round the const.i.tuency and yell at him every time he opens his mouth."

I took the letter from t.i.therington. It was headed A.S.P.L. and signed Lalage Beresford.

"Are you quite sure," I said, "that the A.S.P.L. is a woman's suffrage society?"

"It must be," said t.i.therington. "The letter's signed by a woman, at least I suppose Lalage is a woman's name. It certainly isn't a man's."

"Still----"

"And what the devil would women be writing to us for if they weren't Suffragettes?"

"But A.S.P.L. doesn't stand for----"

"It must," said t.i.therington. "S stands for Suffrage, doesn't it? The rest is some fancy conglomeration. I tell you that there are so many of these societies nowadays that it's pretty hard for a new one to find a name at all."

"All the same----"

"There's no use arguing about their name. The question we have to decide is whether it's worth our while importing Suffragettes into the const.i.tuency or not."

If t.i.therington had not interrupted me so often and if he had not displayed such complete self-confidence I should have told him what the A.S.P.L. really was and warned him to be very careful about enlisting Lalage's aid. But I was nettled by his manner and felt that it would be very good for him to find out his mistake for himself. I remained silent.

"I think the best thing I can do," he said, "is to interview the lady. I can judge then whether she's likely to be any use to us."

I felt very pleased to think that t.i.therington would learn his mistake from Lalage herself. He will be much less arrogant afterward.

"If she is simply an old frump with a bee in her bonnet," he said, "who wants to bore people, I'll head her off at once. If she's a sporting sort of girl who'll take on Vittie at his own meetings and make things hum generally, I think I'll engage her and her lot. I don't happen to be a magistrate myself, but most of them are your supporters. There won't be a bit of use his trying to have her up for rioting. We'll simply laugh at him and she'll be worse afterward. Let me see now. She's in Dublin. 'Trinity Hall,' whatever that is. If I write to-night she'll get the letter in the morning. Suppose I say 11 a.m."

"I should rather like to be present at the interview," I said.