Lalage's Lovers Part 8

"Begging a person's pardon," I said, "when we tread on their toes is a polite and reasonable thing to do."

Lalage may have recognized the quotation, although I do not think I had it quite right. She certainly smiled agreeably. But she had no time to waste on exchanging reminiscences.

"Just make that idiot stand where he is for a moment," she said, "till I get him photographed. I wouldn't miss him for pounds. He's quite unique."

The interpreter protested volubly in Portuguese mixed with Spanish and French. He was, so he told me, placed in charge of the tourists by the steamboat company which had brought them to Lisbon. If one of them got lost he would have to answer for it, answer for it with his head, and the senora, the two exceedingly headstrong senoras, would get lost unless they could be penned in with the rest of his flock.

I glanced at Lalage several times while the interpreter harangued us, and noticed that she had grown into an extremely pretty girl. She, it seemed, was also taking stock of me.

"You've improved," she said. "Your moustache has broadened out. If that monkey on a stick won't be photographed I wish you'd hunt him away out of this. I don't know any Portuguese swears or I'd do it myself."

I explained to the interpreter that he need be under no anxiety about the headstrong senoras. I myself would be responsible for them, and would, if necessary, answer for their safety with my head. He departed, doubtful and ill content. He was probably satisfied that I was capable of looking after Laiage, but he dreaded the effect of her example on the rest of his flock. They too might escape.

"This," said Lalage, leading me up to the other girl, who wore a pink dress, "is Hilda. You've heard of Hilda."

Hilda's name was printed on my memory. She is one of the three members of the committee of the A.T.R.S. I shook hands with her and asked for Selby-Harrison.

"You haven't surely," I said, "come without Selby-Harrison, who won the junior ex.? The committee ought to hold together."

"We intended to bring him," said Lalage, "but there were difficulties.

The Archdeacon heard about it----"

"That Archdeacon again!" I said.

"And told father that it wouldn't do at all. Did you ever hear such nonsense? I shouldn't have minded that, but Hilda's mother struck too.

It ended in our having to bring poor old p.u.s.s.y with us as chaperon."

"p.u.s.s.y?"

"Yes, The original Cat, Miss Battersby. You can't have forgotten her, surely? It happened that she was getting her holidays just as we had arranged to start, so we took her instead of Selby-Harrison, which satisfied the Archdeacon and Hilda's mother."

"I am so glad to hear you call her 'p.u.s.s.y' now," I said-"I always hoped you would."

"She's really not a bad sort," said Lalage, "when you get to know her.

She did us very little harm on the steamer. She was sick the whole way out, so we just put her in the top berth of our cabin and left her there."

"Is she there still?"

Hilda giggled. Lalage looked slightly annoyed.

"Of course not," she said. "We aren't cruel. We hauled her out this morning and dressed her. It was rather a job but we did it. We took her ash.o.r.e with us--each holding one arm, for she was frightfully staggery at first--and made her smuggle our cigarettes for us through the custom-house. No one would suspect her of having cigarettes. By the way, she has them still. They're in a large pocket which I sewed on the inside of her petticoat. She's over there in the crowd. Would you very much mind getting----?"

"I couldn't possibly," I said hastily. "She'd be almost certain to object, especially with all those people standing round. You must wait till you get to an hotel and then undress her again yourselves."

"Don't be an a.s.s," said Lalage. "I don't want you to get the cigarettes.

I want you to rescue p.u.s.s.y herself. It wouldn't be at all fair to allow her to be swept away in that crowd. We'd never see her again."

I did not much care for undertaking this task either, though it was certainly easier than the other. The polyglot guide would, I felt sure, deeply resent the rape of another of his charges.

"Couldn't Hilda do that?" I said. "After all, she's a member of the committee. I'm not. And you told me distinctly that ordinary members were not expected to do anything except subscribe."

"Go on, Hilda," said Lalage.

I suppose Lalage must be president of the A.T.R.S. and be possessed of autocratic powers. Hilda crossed the road without a murmur.

Selby-Harrison, I have no doubt, would have acted in the same way if he had been here.

"And now, Lalage," I said, "you must tell me what brings you to Portugal."

"To see you," said Lalage promptly.

"It's very nice of you to say that," I said, "and I feel greatly flattered."

"Hilda was all for Oberammergau, and Selby-Harrison wanted Normandy.

He said there were churches and things there but I think churches are rather rot, don't you?"

"Besides," I said, "after the way the society has been treating bishops it would hardly be decent to accept their hospitality by wandering about through their churches. Any bishop, especially if he'd been driven out of public life by a series of scathing articles, published anonymously, would have a genuine grievance if you----"

"It was really that which decided us on coming here," said Lalage.

"Quite right. There is a most superior kind of bishop here, a Patriarch, and I am sure that anything you publish about him in the Portuguese papers----"

"You don't understand what I mean. You're getting stupid, I think. I'm not talking about bishops. I'm talking about you."

"Don't bother about taking up my case until you've quite finished the bishops. I am a young man still, with years and years before me in which I shall no doubt talk a lot of tommyrot. It would be a pity to drive me out of public life before I've said anything which you can really scathe."

"We thought," said Lalage, "that as it didn't much matter to us where we went we might as well come out to see you. You were the only person who gave a decent 'sub' to the society. I'll explain our new idea to you later on."

"I'm very glad I did," I said. "If another fiver would bring Selby-Harrison by the next steamer--Hullo! Here's Hilda back with Miss Battersby. I hardly thought she'd have succeeded in getting her. How do you do, Miss Battersby? I'm delighted to welcome you to Lisbon, and I must do my best for you now you're here. I'm quite at your disposal for the day."

Miss Battersby smiled feebly. She had not yet recovered from the effects of the sea voyage.

"First," said Lalage, "we'll go to an hotel."

"Of course," I said, "to get the cigarettes."

"No," said Lalage; "to let Miss Battersby get to bed. She wants to get to bed, doesn't she, Hilda?"

Hilda, who was supporting Miss Battersby, and so in a position to judge of her condition, nodded.

"She's frightfully weak," said Lalage to me, "on account of not having eaten anything except two water biscuits and an apple for nearly a week."

"In that case," I said, "a little luncheon----"

"Could you eat luncheon?" said Lalage to Miss Battersby.

Miss Battersby seemed to wish to try.

"Could she, Hilda?" said Lalage. "It's a long time since she has."