He Who Gets Slapped Part 36

No! The devil take him! And why couldn't you help me, Mother? You left me alone to talk to him. High Society! High pleasures! Swindler! [HE _and_ ZINIDA _laugh. The waiters smile._]

BRIQUET

[_To the waiters_]: What are you laughing about? You can go. We will help ourselves. Whiskey and soda, Jean! [_In a low and angry voice_]

Champagne! [_Enter_ JACKSON, _in his clown's costume._]

JACKSON

A whiskey and soda for me, too! At least I hear some laughter here.

Those idiots have simply forgotten how to laugh. My sun was rising and setting and crawling all over the ring---- and not a smile! Look at my bottom, s.h.i.+nes like a mirror! [_Turns around quickly._] Beg your pardon, Zinida. And you don't look badly to-night, HE. Look out for your cheeks.

I hate beauties.

BRIQUET

A benefit performance crowd!

JACKSON

[_Looking in a hand mirror, correcting his make-up_]: In the orchestra there are some Barons and Egyptian mummies. I got a belly-ache from fright. I am an honest clown. I can't stand it when they look at me as if I had stolen a handkerchief. HE, please give them a good many slaps to-night.

HE

Be quiet, Jim. I shall avenge you. [_HE goes out._]

ZINIDA

And how is Bezano?

JACKSON

[_Grumbling_]: Bezano! A crazy success. But he is crazy, he will break his neck to-morrow. Why does he run such a risk? Or perhaps he has wings, like a G.o.d? Devil take it. It's disgusting to look at him. It's not work any more.

BRIQUET

You are right, Jim! It is not work any more. To your health, old comrade, Jackson.

JACKSON

To yours, Louis.

BRIQUET

It is not work any more, since these Barons came here! Do you hear? They are laughing. But I am indignant, I am indignant, Jim! What do they want here, these Barons? Let them steal hens in other hen roosts, and leave us in peace. Ah! Had I been Secretary of the Interior, I should have made an iron fence between us and those people.

JACKSON

I am very sorry myself for our dear little Consuelo. I don't know why, but it seems to me that we all look to-day more like swindlers than honest artists. Don't you think so, Zinida?

ZINIDA

Everybody does what he wants. It's Consuelo's business and her father's.

BRIQUET

No, Mother, that's not true! Not everybody does what he wants, but it turns out this way ... devil knows why.

_[Enter_ ANGELICA _and_ THOMAS, _an athlete._]

ANGELICA

Is this where we're going to have champagne?

BRIQUET

And you're glad already?

THOMAS

There it is! Oh, oh, what a lot!

ANGELICA

The Count told me to come here. I met him.

BRIQUET

[_Angrily_]: All right, if he said so, but there is no reason to enjoy it. Look out, Angelica, you will have a bad end. I see you through and through. How does she work, Thomas?

THOMAS

Very well.

ANGELICA

[_In a low voice_]: How angry Papa Briquet is to-night.

[Enter HE, TILLY, POLLY, _and other actors, all in their costumes._]

TILLY

Do you really want champagne?

POLLY

I don't want it at all. Do you, Tilly?

TILLY

And I don't want it. HE, did you see how the Count walks? [_Walks, imitating_ MANCINI. _Laughter._]