The Wiccan Diaries: Neophyte Adept Part 31

"I just wanted to see how you were doing Hi Halsey," he said to me. Gaven took Lia's hand. I let her go to him.

"I think I'll just go elsewhere," I said to them, but they didn't hear me.

Lia was saying something like: "You shouldn't be fraternizing with me. You have selecting to do." He responded with something gruff. "I don't care," he said. Or whatever he said.

I was looking at some of the plants which were holdovers from the night of the Ball. Some other people were milling around. We had about an hour, Veruschka had said. The selection process would take the remainder of today and probably even tomorrow. I didn't see what the big deal was? I put my hood up. There were just thirteen of us. Despite what they said, we had no more potential than anybody else. Besides, I rambled to myself, since when did somebody else care about someone's potentialit was only what you could do, that mattered, and what could I do?

I was entering hard times. I could feel it. Where I wasn't a kid anymore, but I wasn't really an adult, either. I was stuck somewhere in-between.

I wandered down the pa.s.sageway and bent to sniff at the nasturtiums, my head, and my hair, which was growing overlong, doing their best to hide my face. The chatter seemed to die down as I walked and contemplated... When, suddenly, I heard voicestwo of them. Except this time they weren't coming from far, far away. They were here with me now at the Gathering, and I was no more in some magic trance than the flowers I had been sniffing. "If an Initiate rejects a House, that marker is wastedit's tantamount to a crime. They don't want somebody who makes their House look stupidor worse, can't be controlled..."

"Or is too powerfulIs that what you think, my dear"

I heard something behind me and turned from the hissing voices.

Selwyn was standing there. The cold mind. It made my heart leap. His hair was disheveled. He held a finger to his lips, bidding me be quiet. I couldn't explain itthere was something in his eyes; eyes so astonis.h.i.+ngly blue I had only ever seen their like in my dreams before. I opened my mouthto scream, yell, run, I didn't know. Seeing him there had really shocked me. It was a moment before I realized I wasn't supposed to like him very much.

Finally, my heart rate settled down. He continued to hold his finger up to his lips. I think he knew better than to grab my hand, because I would have screamed, but he beckoned me away from there, where the voices were talkingto someplace more light-filled; I did as he requested, though I didn't know why. "You're very mysterious," I said. "I want to know why."

He stopped when we were free of some of the darker tunnels; for no other reason than just to see, I looked into his eyes once more, but he kicked me out of his mind.

"You have aetherit's dark," I said.

His eyebrows went up.

"Where have you been?" I asked. "Why are you so disheveled? You look like you've just crawled out of something."

It was true. Selwyn looked almost filthy. "Are those the same clothes you were wearing the night of the Ball?" I asked.

"Stop talking and listen to me," he said. His voice was in a hurry.

Somebody walked by and Selwyn jumped at the noise, looking around to see who had made it; he put his hand out, as if trying to protect me. "I tried to get a message to you," he said to me, "at the Wiccaning." It was a moment before my mind caught up with what he was saying. His voice was gravelly, as though he had barely used it. He ran a hand through his hair and then put the full magnificence of his eyes upon me again; but not to look into my mind. "I just want to talk," he said.

"You mean you jumped into my head at the Wiccaning," I said, somewhat indignantly, "to see if you wanted to jump into my head?"

I listened for what his response would be.

"It was a wiccaning. Besides, I had to see what you knew, or didn't know," said Selwyn, and smoldered at me. As he spoke he kept an eye out. Not literally. He was just very attentive.

I only had an hour. I had to go.

"Wait," he said, "this is important. Your mother and father."

"What of my mother and father?"

"I don't think you know what's going on," he said. I was so tired of hearing that. "But you will. And soon," he said. He brushed himself off, and threw his head back, listening. He needed a haircut and a shave. I was not the only one hiding behind long black bangs tonight.

"Is that a threat?" I said. Despite my predicament of being totally alone with him, Asher's words came back to me. Selwyn wouldn't try anythingwith everyone else here.

"A warning. Things are not safe, Halsey, especially for you," he said.

"What do you mean? Explain yourself. And why are you acting like you know me?"

Somewhere I realized he had called me Halsey instead of Halsey Rookmaaker.

But he shook his head.

"You'll find out soon enough," he said. "A piece of advice until then. Watch your step."

I folded my arms, much like Vittoria, and said, "Are you trying to be spooky, or is it just a gift, because if you think you can intimidate me, Selwyn..."

He blew a strand of hair out of his face, grinning broadly. "You have their spirit," said Selwyn. "Not everyone has made themselves known yetPendderwenn, the Lenoir, the twins... They are only a few of the strange beings located here."

"And what about you?" I said. "Who are you, anyway?"

But he was shaking his head. "You need to get back," he said. "If you follow this path, and head toward the lightthat's very important.i.t will lead you."

"Not until you tell me what you're doing here," I said.

Selwyn looked around. "I'm here for the same reason as you are, and the same reason as everyone else. Something happened a long time ago, and I think I may finally know what it was."

He left me standing there, and disappeared back the way he'd come, but I was out of time. I couldn't follow Selwyn. He gave me the heebers, to quote a Marek line, that was not unlike the way I felt about magic itselftingly and whatnot. I followed the pa.s.sageway back to the Gathering, to the Star Room.

It was only as I felt the sand beneath my feet that I remembered whose turn it was. The Trasteverean Werewolves would be making their selection at any second. Lia didn't meanshe hadn't meantshe wanted me to be selected by them, did she? Did I want to be a werewolf?

If I was being honest with myself, the answer was both yes and no. Yes, I wanted to be a member of their Pack, but no, I didn't think it would be good for me. Thinking about it made me feel weird. Ballard's family was, in a sense, my family. They were as close to a family as I had ever known. Yet, if I was to do what I had to do, I had to be free of them. Solo.

It would be one way for the werewolves to consolidate their power. In a sense, Lia would always be a werewolf. But me... It would be a major coup if The Sons and Daughters of Romulus had two Wiccans.

I thought about how I would feel if they picked Vittoria. Like they had done the right thing, probably. But whoever they picked, the nearest Wiccan House was the Roman House of Pendderwenn. Something about it, of the rundown nature of Pendderwenn, made me not want to go there. Then I realized it was a satellite of Ravenseal and that settled it. I would not be going to Pendderwenn.

Could an Initiate reject the House which chose them? Had it ever even been done before? I didn't know if there was a precedent for it or not.

The rest of the Initiates and I stood in a row, waiting to be selected.

"With the fifth pick," said Veruschka Ravenseal, holding up the marker so she could see it more clearly, "The Sons and Daughters of Romulus pick their own Lia Rosen as their Initiate."

Lia was fifth. She was chosen. She breathed a sigh of relief, and went off with Gaven, leaving me standing there with not much enthusiasm for the ordeal to come.

The fact was, were I to be chosen now, I would be going somewhere I didn't belong, and I had to go. I realized that now. Lux had been right. It would be like I was throwing my future away, if I did not. But that would mean leaving Rome, unless Pendderwenn took mewhich I didn't wantleaving my friends, and Ballard...

A little voiceleaving Lennox as well... Rome was his home, after all.

I didn't know what to do.

A few last-minute meetings and negotiations were going onmarkers being traded, people positioning themselves to get the last of the leftovers. The Wiccan dregs.

Vittoria laughed. "If they call that reading people, they must be illiterate. I've never been put through so many degradations in my life. And for what?" She must've meant the Wiccaning. "At least the dog's back in her kennel," she said, referring to Lia.

"There's value to being underestimated," I said.

"Speak for yourself," said Vittoria.

The other V, Veruschka, was caught up in some last-second wheeling and dealing. "If he's not coming, he's not coming," she said. "May we proceed?" She looked at the remaining delegatesall of whom nodded. Gaven must've been off indoctrinating Lia. Whatever that meant.

I was suddenly very, very, very happy for them. Gaven could relax now, and Lia could do whatever she pleased. She was with The Sons and Daughters of Romulus. She was free.

Veruschka smiled. "I am happy to say that with my own pick, House Ravenseal selects Halsey Rookmaaker."

There was anarchy.

Veruschka motioned to me; Pendderwenn looked outraged. The two twins, I noticed, were clapping along with the rest.

I had never satisfactorily seen them before. For some reason, my eyes avoided the twins. They looked like they had no souls. No one spoke to them. Everyone avoided them. But they were allotted s.p.a.cealways. The twins had overseen everything since the Wiccaning. Why? Their eyes stared at me as they clapped their hands.

I caught Veruschka's eyes again, who was beckoning me forward. At the sound of my name being called, time had seemed to stand still. Vittoria stopped me before I could go.

"Were you in on this?" she said.

"In on what?" I said. I was somewhat dazed.

"Never mind. Go. I wouldn't trade places with you if I could," she said.

She must've still been upset at being pa.s.sed over.

"I didn't know they were going to pick me," I said, but she didn't care. I wouldn't let Vittoria walk away, however, thinking she could hold a grudge over me, because that's exactly what she was trying to do. One second, I was being beckoned by Veruschka, my new mistress; the next, there was a gasp.

Vittoria was backing upshe was pantomiming wiping her hands of the whole affair. She raised them up and brushed them off and continued to walk backwards so everyone could see her.

"Vittoria, what do you think you're doing?" said Veruschka Ravenseal. The twitterers twittered. The remaining Initiates stared at Vittoria.

Vittoria said, loud enough so that everyone could hear, "I'm done with this place. I have a last name. Goodbye."

Lux stood up. "Vittoria..." he said.

"Don't even waste your breath, Professor. I know where I'm not wanted," she said. She looked at meand then she whipped her head around and left the sandpit.

"My marker is worthless now," said Julius Pendderwenn, and held it up. I could see a golden thirteen etched upon it. "Worthless!" he shouted. With Vittoria gone, there would not be a thirteenth pick. He stormed out of the place.

A part of me was, like, You thought I was going to be picked last, Julius Pendderwenn? But Veruschka Ravenseal was waiting for me. I stepped across the sandpit and reluctantly took her outstretched hand. She pulled me close to her, and began looking critically at me.

"You're better than I thought," she said.

But what did that mean for Vittoria? Was she really just going to leave the Gathering? She would be outcast. An eclectic. Unschooled.

I spent the rest of the day with Veruschka Ravenseal and her peoplewhat looked to be various servants with a lot of measuring devices. They wanted to get a look at my Wiccan Mark. "I want to see what I'm dealing with," said Veruschka Ravenseal.

I was still not used to it. To her.

"Absolutely not," I said. I yanked my arm out of her reach. The move felt petulant. Like I was being stubborn or something. I was.

"Suit yourself," she said. "But I hope you'll begin to think of me as you should: as a friend, and as a mentor, and as your mistress, Halsey Rookmaaker. Or should I say Halsey Ravenseal? Isn't that odd, now?"

"What is?" I said.

"Your name. They're both HRs. Like in House Ravenseal. Halsey Rookmaaker."

She dismissed her servants.

We were in a well-lit chamber off the Star Room. What I realized must be her private offices.

"Well, don't be shy," she said, and beckoned me over to a seating areatwo chairs and a table. "Tea?" she asked, offering me some. She lifted the pot from the service and poured two cups.

I sipped my tea and said, "Why did you pick me? I thought you were supposed to pick Vittoria."

"Yes, we saw that in her."

"We?" I said. "What did you see?"

"Me. I saw what I saw. When you rule your own House, Halsey, youthat is to say, Iam obliged to take my own council into judgement. I prefer to talk to lots of mes."

"What about Lux?"

"He's a Styles Master, the quartermaster, a glorified servant, but you, I have big plans for you, Miss Ravenseal," she said. She took a sip of her tea and winked at me.

"But what if I don't want to be a part of your big plans?" I said.

Her smile hardened over her teacup. "See here. You owe me your allegiance. Is that understood? Don't want it? Of course you do. You're a twelfth. In Wicca, that is the luckiest number."

That may have been, but Veruschka was number one. Maybe this was what Vittoria had been talking about, when she said she wouldn't trade places with me if she could.

"Did you recruit Vittoria, and then pa.s.s her over for me?" I said.

"See here. I don't think you know what's going on. You are a Ravenseal now. And that, Halsey, means something. I looked at Vittoria. Sure I did. But I didn't like what I saw, if you take my meaning. Now enough fun and games. I leave for Prague tomorrow. You shall follow after me, unless you wish to become homeless and Houseless. It's a hard life. The Ravenseal name carries with it certain expectationsas well as responsibilities. We can't just take any old crafter we choose. That would be anarchy."

"I heard you were supposed to go to the Master House," I said.

She looked uneasily at me.

"If it's so great being Ravenseal," I said, "why do you want to change? If you're my Mistress, who's going to replace you when you leave? Because I should be talking to her, don't you think?"

She put her tea downand slapped my face. Hard. The smack reverberated around the room.

"Now you listen to me," she said. Sparks flew from her eyes. My face still stung where she had hit it with her Wiccan Mark. "If I tell you to get down onto your hands and knees and scrub the floor, you will do it. Including anything else I may want you to do. Is that understood? You're a nasty, ungrateful little monster, who needs to learn her place. I leave for Prague tomorrow. You will be allowed some time to set your affairs in order, and then someone will be sent to collect you. If you defy me, I will destroy you. Is that understood? I won't be made a fool, Halsey Rookmaaker."