The Pacha of Many Tales Part 33

"Mashallah! all for a piastre. Ask him, Mustapha, if there are more wives to be sold in that country?"

"More," replied the sailor in answer to Mustapha; "you may have a s.h.i.+p full in an hour. There's many a fellow in England who would give a handful of coin to get rid of his wife."

"We will make further inquiry, Mustapha; it must be looked to. Say I not well?"

"It is well said," replied Mustapha. "My heart is burnt as roast meat at the recollection of the women of the country; who are, indeed, as he hath described, houris to the sight. Proceed, Yaha bibi, my friend, and tell his--"

"Yaw Bibby! I told you my name was Bill, not Bibby; and I never yaws from my course, although I heaves-to sometimes, as I do now, to take in provisions." The sailor took another swig, wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, and continued. "Now for a good lie."

I sailed in a brig for the Brazils, and a gale came on, that I never seed the like of. We were obliged to have three men stationed to hold the captain's hair on his head, and a little boy was blown over the moon, and slid down by two or three of her beams, till he caught the mainstay, and never hurt himself.

"Good," said Mustapha, who interpreted.

"By the beard of the Prophet, wonderful!" exclaimed the pacha.

Well, the gale lasted for a week; and at last one night, when I was at the helm, we dashed on the rocks of a desolate island. I was pitched right over the mountains, and fell into the sea on the other side of the island. I swam on sh.o.r.e, and got into a cave, where I fell fast asleep.

The next morning I found that there was nothing to eat except rats, and they were plentiful; but they were so quick, that I could not catch them. I walked about, and at last discovered a great many rats together; they were at a spring of water; the only one, as I afterwards found, on the island. Rats can't do without water; and I thought I should have them there. I filled up the spring, all but a hole which I sat on the top of. When the rats came again, I filled my mouth with water, and held it wide open; they ran up to drink, and I caught their heads in my teeth, and thus I took as many as I wished.

"Aferin, excellent!" cried the pacha, as soon as this was explained.

Well, at last a vessel took me off, and I wasn't sorry for it, for raw rats are not very good eating. I went home again, and I hadn't been on sh.o.r.e more than two hours, when who should I see but my first wife, Bet, with a robin-redbreast in tow. "That's he!" says she. I gave fight, but was nabbed and put into limbo, to be tried for what they call _biggery_, or having a wife too much.

"How does he mean? desire him to explain," said the pacha, after Mustapha had conveyed the intelligence. Mustapha obeyed.

"In our country one wife is considered a man's allowance; and he is not to take more, that every Jack may have his Jill, I had spliced two; so they tried me, and sent me to Botany Bay for life."

This explanation puzzled the pacha. "How--what sort of a country must it be, when a man cannot have two wives? Inshallah! please the Lord, we may have hundreds in our harem! Does he not laugh at our beards with lies? Is this not all _bosh_, nothing?"

"It is even so, as the Frank speaketh," replied Mustapha. "The king of the country can take but one wife. Be chesm, on my eyes be it, if it is not the truth."

"Well," rejoined the pacha, "what are they but infidels? They deserve to have no more. Houris are for the faithful. May their fathers'

graves be defiled. Let the Giaour proceed."

Well, I was started for the other side of the water, and got there safe enough, as I hope one day to get to Heaven, wind and weather permitting: but I had no idea of working without pay, so one fine morning, I slipt away into the woods, where I remained with three or four more for six months. We lived upon kangaroos, and another odd little animal, and got on pretty well.

"What may the dish of kangaroos be composed of?" inquired Mustapha, in obedience to the pacha.

"'Posed of! why a dish of kangaroos be made of kangaroos, to be sure."

But I'll be dished if I talked about any thing but the animal, which we had some trouble to kill; for it stands on its big tail, and fights with all four feet. Moreover, it be otherwise a strange beast; for its young ones pop out of its stomach, and then pop in again, having a place there on purpose, just like the great hole in the bow of a timber s.h.i.+p; and as for the other little animal, it swims in the ponds, lays eggs, and has a duck's bill, yet still it be covered all over with hair like a beast.

The vizier interrupted. "By the Prophet, but he laughs at our beards!"

exclaimed the pacha, angrily. "These are foolish lies."

"You must not tell the pacha such foolish lies. He will be angry," said Mustapha. "Tell lies, but they must be good lies."

"Well, I'll be d.a.m.ned," replied the sailor, "if the old beggar don't doubt the only part which is true out of the whole yarn. Well, I will try another good un to please him."

After I had been there about six months I was tired; and as there was only twenty thousand miles between that country and my own, I determined to swim back.

"Mashallah! swim back--how many thousand miles?" exclaimed Mustapha.

"Only twenty thousand--a mere nothing."

So one fine morning I throws a young kangaroo on my shoulder, and off I starts. I swam for three months, night and day, and then feeling a little tired, I laid-to on my back, and then I set off again; but by this time I was so covered with barnacles, that I made but little way.

So I stopped at Ascension, sc.r.a.ped and cleaned myself, and then, after feeding for a week on turtle, just to keep the scurvy out of my bones, I set off again; and as I pa.s.sed the Gut, I thought I might just as well put in here; and here I arrived, sure enough, yesterday about three bells in the morning watch, after a voyage of five months and three days.

When Mustapha translated all this to the pacha, the latter was lost in astonishment. "Allah wakbar! G.o.d is every where! Did you ever hear of such a swimmer? Twenty thousand miles--five months and three days. It is a wonderful story! Let his mouth be filled with gold."

Mustapha intimated to the sailor the unexpected compliment about to be conferred on him, just as he had finished the bottle, and rolled it away on one side. "Well, that be a rum way of paying a man. I have heard it said that a fellow _pursed_ up his mouth but I never afore heard of a mouth being a _purse_. Howsomever, all's one for that; only, d'ye see, if you are about to stow it away in bulk, it may be just as well to get rid of the dunnage."

The sailor put his thumb and forefinger into the cheek, and pulled out his enormous quid of tobacco. "There now, I'm ready, and don't be afraid of choking me." One of the attendants then thrust several pieces of gold into the sailor's mouth, who spitting them all out into his hat, jumped on his legs, made a jerk of his head with a kick of the leg behind to the pacha; and declaring that he was the funniest old beggar he had ever fallen in with, nodded to Mustapha, and hastened out of the divan.

"Mashallah! but he swims well," said the pacha, breaking up the audience.

VOLUME THREE, CHAPTER THREE.

The departure of the caravan was delayed for two or three days by the vizier upon various pretexts--although it was his duty to render it every a.s.sistance--that Menouni might afford further amus.e.m.e.nt to the pacha. Menouni was well content to remain, as the liberality of the pacha was not to be fallen in with every day, and the next evening he was again ushered into the sublime presence.