The Foolish Dictionary Part 11

=GORE= Blood. Shed daily in Chicago abattoirs but never spilled in French duels.

=GOSSIP= Derived either from the Grk. _gups_, vulture, or Fr.

_gosier_, wind-pipe. Hence, a vulture that tears its prey to bits, or an exercise of the wind-pipe from which every victim gets a blow.

=GOUT= The undesirable scion of High Living, which frequent the lowest joints and is mentioned only in the Invalid's Foot-Notes.

=GOWN= From Lat. _gaudium_, joy. A thing of beauty and a joy forever; if from Paris, generally an article of some Worth.

=GUNPOWDER= A black substance much employed in marking the boundary lines of nations.

=GUM= A substance for sticking.

=GUM-GAME= A game in which some one is stuck.

=GUTTER= A school in which we may study the dregs of humanity or read the reflection of the stars.

There's many a slip twixt the toe and the heel.

H

Where there's a will there's a lawsuit.

=HAIR-DRESSER= A linguist whose position in life enables him to do his head-work with his hands.

=HAMMER= A small, busy implement carried by blacksmiths, geologists and Knockers for breaking iron, rock or friends.h.i.+p.

=HAMMOCK= From the Lat. _hamus_, hook, and Grk. _makar_, happy.

Happiness on hooks. Also, a popular contrivance whereby love-making may be suspended but not stopped during the picnic season.

=HAND= A much desired possession, supplied by The Damsel or The Dealer. =GLAD HAND=. The beggar's plea, the politician's sceptre and the drummer's ablest a.s.sistant.

=HANDMAIDEN= A manicure.

=HARANGUE= The tiresome product of a tireless tongue. From Eng.

_hear_, and Lat. _angor_, pain. Painful to hear.

=HARMONY= From the Grk. _arnumi_, strain. Hence, full of strains.

=HASH=?

=HATCH= To develop eggs.

=HATCHWAY= Place for developing eggs; a hen-coop.

=HAY-FEVER= A heart trouble caused by falling in love with a gra.s.s widow.

=HEa.r.s.e= Seen on the dead.

=HEARSAY= Heard on the dead.

=HEa.r.s.e= A handsome vehicle in which the man who has always been a tail-ender is finally permitted to lead the procession.

=HEART= A b.l.o.o.d.y organ, kept in a trunk, played by beats, and enjoyed only after it is lost or given away.