A Year's Journey through France and Part of Spain Volume II Part 10

Direct your servant, not only to see your horses watered, and corn given them, but to _stand by_ while they eat it: this is often necessary in England, and always in France.

V.

If you eat at the _table d'Hote_, the price is fixed, and you cannot be imposed upon. If you eat in your own chamber, and order your own dinner or supper, it is as necessary to make a previous bargain with your host for it, as it would be to bargain with an itinerant Jew for a gold watch; the _conscience_ and _honour_ of a _French Aubergiste_, and a travelling Jew, are always to be considered alike; and it is very remarkable, that the publicans in France, are the only people who receive strangers with a cool indifference! and where this indifference is most shewn, there is most reason to be cautious.

VI.

Be careful that your sheets are well aired, otherwise you will find them often, not only damp, but perfectly wet.--Frenchmen in general do not consider wet or damp sheets dangerous, I am sure French _Aubergistes_ do not.

VII.

Young men who travel into France with a view of gaining the language, should always eat at the _table d'Hote_.--There is generally at these tables, an officer, or a priest, and though there may be none but people of a middling degree, they will shew every kind of attention and preference to a stranger.

VIII.

It is necessary to carry your own pillows with you; in some inns they have them; but in villages, _bourgs_, &c. none are to be had.

IX.

In the wine provinces, at all the _table d'Hotes_, they always provide the common wine, as we do small beer; wine is never paid for separately, unless it is of a quality above the _vin du Pays_; and when you call for better, know the price _before_ you drink it.

X.

When fine cambrick handkerchiefs, &c. are given to be washed, take care they are not trimmed round two inches narrower, to make borders to _Madame la Blanchisseuse's_ night caps: this is a little _douceur_ which they think themselves ent.i.tled to, from my Lord _Anglois_, whom they are sure is _tres riche_, and consequently ought to be plundered by the poor.

XI.

Whenever you want honest information, get it from a French officer, or a priest, provided they are on the _wrong_ side of forty; but in general, avoid all acquaintance with either, on the _right_ side of thirty.

XII.

Where you propose to stay any time, be very cautious with whom you make an acquaintance, as there are always a number of officious forward Frenchmen, and English adventurers, ready to offer you their services, from whom you will find it very difficult to disengage yourself, after you have found more agreeable company.--Frenchmen of real fas.h.i.+on, are very circ.u.mspect, and will not _fall in love with you_ at first sight; but a designing knave will exercise every species of flattery, in order to fix himself upon you for his dinner, or what else he can get, and will be with you before you are up, and after you are in bed.

XIII.

Wherever there is any cabinet of curiosities, medals, pictures, &c. to be seen, never make any scruple to send a card, desiring permission to view them; the request is flattering to a Frenchman, and you will never be refused; and besides this you will in all probability thereby gain a valuable acquaintance.--It is generally men of sense and philosophy, who make such collections, and you will find the collector of them, perhaps, the most pleasing part of the cabinet.

XIV.

Take it as a maxim, unalterable as the laws of the Medes and Persians, that whenever you are invited to a supper at _Paris_, _Lyons_, or any of the great cities, where a _little_ trifling play commences before supper, that GREAT PLAY is intended after supper; and that you are the marked pigeon to be plucked. Always remember _Lord Chesterfield's_ advice to his son: "If you play with men, know with _whom_ you play; if with women, for _what_:" and don't think yourself the more secure, because you see at the same table some of your own countrymen, though they are Lords or Ladies; a _London_ gambler would have no chance in a _Parisian_ party.

XV.

Dress is an essential and most important consideration with every body in France. A Frenchman never appears till his hair is well combed and powdered, however slovenly he may be in other respects.--Not being able to submit every day to this ceremony, the servant to a gentleman of fas.h.i.+on at whose house I visited in _Ma.r.s.eilles_, having forgot my name described me to his master, as the gentleman whose hair was _toujours mal frise_.--Dress is a foolish thing, says _Lord Chesterfield_; yet it is a foolish thing not to be well dressed.

XVI.

You cannot dine, or visit after dinner, in an undress frock, or without a bag to your hair; the hair _en queue_, or a little cape to your coat, would be considered an unpardonable liberty. Military men have an advantage above all others in point of dress, in France; a regimental or military coat carries a man with a _bonne grace_ into all companies, with or without a bag to his hair; it is of all others the properest dress for a stranger in France, on many accounts.

XVII.

In France it is not customary to drink to persons at table, nor to drink wine after dinner: when the dessert is taken away, so is the wine;--an excellent custom, and worthy of being observed by all nations.

XVIII.

It is wrong to be led into any kind of conversation, but what is absolutely necessary, with the common, or indeed the middling cla.s.s of people in France. They never fail availing themselves of the least condescension in a stranger, to ask a number of impertinent questions, and to conclude, you answer them civilly, that they are your equals.--Sentiment and bashfulness are not to be met with, but among people of rank in France: to be free and easy, is the etiquette of the country; and some kinds of that free and easy manner, are highly offensive to strangers, and particularly to a shy Englishman.

XIX.

When well-bred people flatter strangers, they seldom direct their flattery to the object they mean to compliment, but to one of their own country:--As, what a _bonne grace_ the English have, says one to the other, in a whisper loud enough to be heard by the whole company, who all give a nod of consent; yet in their hearts they do not love the English of all other nations, and therefore conclude, that the English in their hearts do not love them.

XX.

No gentleman, priest, or servant, male or female, ever gives any notice by knocking before they enter the bed-chamber, or apartment of ladies or gentlemen.--The post-man opens it, to bring your letters; the capuchin, to ask alms; and the gentleman to make his visit. There is no privacy, but by securing your door by a key or a bolt; and when any of the middling cla.s.s of people have got possession of your apartment, particularly of a stranger, it is very difficult to get them out.

XXI.

There is not on earth, perhaps, so curious and inquisitive a people as the lower cla.s.s of French: noise seems to be one of their greatest delights. If a ragged boy does but beat a drum or sound a trumpet, he brings all who hear it about him, with the utmost speed, and most impatient curiosity.--As my monkey rode postillion, in a red jacket laced with silver, I was obliged to make him dismount, when I pa.s.sed thro' a town of any size: the people gathered so rapidly about me at _Moret_, three leagues from _Fontainbleau_, while I stopped only to buy a loaf, that I verily believe every man, woman, and child, except the sick and aged, were paying their respects to my little groom; all infinitely delighted; for none offered the least degree of rudeness.

XXII.

The French never give coffee, tea, or any refreshment, except upon particular occasions, to their morning or evening visitors.

XXIII.

When the weather is cold, the fire small, and a large company, some young Frenchman shuts the whole circle from receiving any benefit from it, by placing himself just before it, laying his sword genteely over his left knee, and flattering himself, while all the company wish him at the devil, that the ladies are admiring his legs: when he has gratified his vanity, or is thoroughly warm, he sits down, or goes, and another takes his place. I have seen this abominable ill-breeding kept up by a set of _accomplished_ young fops for two hours together, in exceeding cold weather. This custom has been transplanted lately into England.

XXIV.