Funny Little Socks Part 3

_Isabella_. Very well, thank you. How do you do, Mr. Morris?

MR. MORRIS. Oh, Miss Isabella, I should be quite well if I hadn't _sitch_ a pain in my heart!

ISABELLA. A pain in your heart! What makes you have that, Mr. Morris?

MR. MORRIS. YOU!

ISABELLA. I!

MR. MORRIS. Oh, Miss Isabella, you can't think how I adore you! I love you so much that it makes my eyes shut up when I don't want them to; and my heart beats so that it shakes my cap all to one side!

ISABELLA. Dear me, Mr. Morris, you are quite _afflitted_! but never mind--papa is going to have you to dinner to-day; you'd better go right down town, so he can ask you.

MR. MORRIS. But I can't eat any dinner, Miss Isabella, without you will marry me!

Here Minnie tried to make Mr. Morris pop down on his knees; but as he wasn't a jointed doll, he lost his balance, and tumbled flat on his face instead.

MISS ISABELLA. Here, what are you doing? get up, do, and stop your noise! [For Minnie couldn't help a long-sounding o--h! when her doll flopped down. So Maggie made the young lady catch hold of Mr. Morris's shoulder straps and help twitch him on the sofa again, to go on with his proposal.]

MR. MORRIS. Will you marry me, Miss Isabella? I'm such a nice young man--you don't know--and we'll live in a real pretty house.

MISS ISABELLA. No, I can't marry you till after you have come to dinner; mamma said so.

MR. MORRIS. Well, then, I must wait; but only say that you will have me.

ISABELLA. Oh, yes!

At this point the children laid down the dolls and broke into such a merry trill of laughter, that it would have done anybody's heart good to hear them. It seemed so funny to have the dolls making love in this fas.h.i.+on, they couldn't help it. As soon as they were sober again, the play went on thus:

MR. MORRIS. Well, Miss Isabella, I b'lieve I must go now; I've got an old sister at home, who will scold me if I don't come back. Can't you 'vite her too? She has a pretty bad time, poor thing! 'cause she is so oldy that she is kept on a shelf till she's all dusty. Her wig is dreadful fuzzy, and some of it comes out and stands up at the top. But I'll dust her well and stick a pin in her wig to keep it on, and make her look real nice, if you'll only ask her.

ISABELLA. Well, I guess she can come; but she must have a new dress for the wedding.

MR. MORRIS. Yes, she shall, certainly. Good-by, Miss Isabella. I'm going down town pretty soon, so your father can ask me to come.

MISS ISABELLA. Oh yes, do! I want you to come _velly_ much.

"Now, Maggie, we must stop the play a little while," said Lina, "and fix the dinner for them."

"Yes, do," cried Maggie; "let's see, what shall be for dinner?"

"Oh, chicken, that's the nicest!" said Minnie.

"No, they had chicken yesterday," said Lina; "let them have roast beef."

"Very well," went on Maggie, who was looking over the dishes in the box of "eatables," as Lina called them. "Roast beef, mashed potatoes, and macaroni."

"Oh, not macaroni," cried Minnie; "the cheese will bite their tongues."

"Oh, yes! Mr. Morris likes macaroni," said her sister.

"Well, macaroni, then; and plum-pudding for dessert--and apples."

"Ah, make them have jelly," said Lina; "that's the prettiest thing in the box."

So the dinner was hunted out, and the three children set the table in fine style; while Toby, the black boy, whose business it certainly was to have done it, sat coolly in Mr. Montague's armchair, with his master's newspaper in his lap, and goggled at the table without moving an inch. Then Lina dressed Mrs. Montague, and Maggie and Minnie together dressed Miss Isabella; and n.o.body dressed poor Mr. Morris, or Mr.

Charles Augustus Montague; because they unluckily had but one suit a piece, sewed fast on to them at that.

This time Miss Isabella wore a pink silk frock, with a deep puffing round the bottom, finished at each edge with black velvet. Then she had a long pink sash, edged with two rows of narrow black velvet; a pointed belt encircled her waist, and the body of her dress was a ma.s.s of puffs, with narrow black velvet between. On her head was a pink wreath, with long ribbon ends hanging down her back; and tied fast to her wrist was a pink feather fan with gold sticks. In fact, Miss Isabella looked rather as if she were going to a party than coming down to dinner; but the children thought the pink silk so charming, that she must wear it, whether or no.

Mrs. Montague wore a purple silk, a black lace shawl, and a head-dress of pink rosebuds and black lace.

When the ladies were fairly seated in the parlor, Lina rang the bell, and Minnie and Maggie made Mr. Morris come in, leading his sister by the hand. She was a dismal object to behold, sure enough! and if she could have blushed for herself, I think she certainly would. She wore a green barege dress, trimmed with flaming red ribbons; some of the gathers were out at the waist, and her petticoat showed at the bottom.

Mr. Morris, or Minnie--I don't know which--had stuck the ends of her wig down for her once, but they had come up again, and looked as if her hair had taken to growing with the roots uppermost. The end of her nose was blacker than Mrs. Montague's, and her eyes, which moved with a wire like other wax dolls, had got out of order somehow, and remained stationary, with nothing but the whites showing; and, altogether, poor Miss Morris looked like a two-legged rag-bag come home from the wars, with both eyes out, half a nose, and no hair worth mentioning.

Lina made Mr. Montague come home as soon as she was rid of the dinner bell; and after they had all shaken hands until their wax and kid and china wrists must have ached, the company rather unceremoniously marched right into the dining-room. I suppose Mr. Montague was tremendously hungry, and gave his wife's hand a good pinch when he shook it, to make her hurry things up; but, however that may be, they were walked in to dinner in straight order. Mr. Morris sat by Miss Isabella, with his forlorn old sister on the other hand, and as the opposite side of the table looked rather bare, Minnie proposed that some of the children should come down to fill up.

"Oh, yes--and let them be dreadfully naughty and do all sorts of mischief," said Maggie. So Miss Angelina Seraphina Montague, and Master Algernon Pop-eyes Montague (so called because he had gla.s.s eyes, which stuck out in a lobster-ish fas.h.i.+on), were sent for in a hurry and brought down by their nurse, a beautiful doll dressed as a French bonne, and Maggie. Algernon wore the costume of a sailor boy, and Angelina was no other than a nun in a black robe! But never mind, they did very well to fill up, and sat smirking at the company very genteelly.

So, then, Lina made Mr. Montague begin.

MR. MONT. Will you take some roast beef, Miss Morris?

ALGERNON. No, papa, help me first!

MR. M. Algy Pop-eyes Montague! be still! Here, Toby, hand Miss Morris her plate.

ALGY. Don't you do it, Toby!

MRS. M. Hush up, you naughty boy!

MR. M. Mr. Morris, here's some meat for you.

MRS. M. Take some macaroni, Mr. Morris; it's real good.

MR. MORRIS. Thank you, ma'am; I think I will.

So the company were helped; though, as the meat and vegetables were glued fast to the dishes they were on, I'm afraid they must have had rather a slim dinner.

Then Maggie went on.

MISS ISABELLA. Mr. Morris, I think I am rather tired of that uniform of yours; it makes you look too high in the neck. When we are married, you ought to have a dress coat.

ANGELINA. H-a! h-a-a-a! he hasn't got any other coat! _I_ wouldn't marry an old goose with only one suit!