Happy Thought Hall Part 32

Mr. Frimmely smiles, and tries to look as if the merit of her acting was due entirely to his instruction.

_Madame Regniati._ I don't suppose you chose her dress for her.

_Mr. Orby Frimmely_ (_still as if he HAD done so, but allowed her the credit of it_). No, no; Mrs. Frimmely has a great taste for theatricals.

_Miss Adelaide Cherton_ (_to Miss Medford_). Oh, I am sure we ought to be so much obliged to you for playing.

_Miss Ada._ Oh, it was so good. I really wonder how you could manage to accompany them as you did.

_Miss Medford_ (_quite unaffectedly_). I am so glad I was able to do it, as I've only been accustomed to play to my brother's singing, that is when he doesn't do it himself.

_The Signor_ (_delighted_). Oh, my Jo! I 'ave not laugh so much for a long time.

_Milburd_ (_who has put on evening dress and joined us, is evidently immensely pleased_.) No! (_Diffidently._) It seemed to go very well.

_Mrs. Frampton_ (_a middle-aged lady, coming up to him_). I really _must_ congratulate you, Mr. Milburd. I'm a great play-goer, and I haven't seen anything at any one of the London theatres equal to it. You really ought to produce it in Town.

_Milburd_ (_foreseeing an extinguisher over Shakespeare_). Do you think it good enough?

_Mrs. Frampton._ Good enough!--why--I was only saying to my daughter--(Julia--Mr. Milburd (_introduction_))--wasn't I, Julia?

_Julia_ (_rather stupidly, but still exhibiting caution_). What, mamma?

_Mrs. Frampton._ Why about Mr. Milburd's capital little farce.

_Julia_ (_easily taking up her cue_). Oh, yes! (_ecstatically._) I was _so_ delighted--and where _did_ you get that wonderful dress?

_Milburd_ (_carelessly_). Oh, I got it at the costumier's. I had it for another part some time ago.

_Jovial Stout Gentleman_ (_refres.h.i.+ng himself, and seeing Captain Byrton_). Hallo! Old Bouncer. By Jove! Capital, sir! Capital!

_Byrton_ (_much pleased_). Did you know me when I came on?

_Jovial Stout Person._ Know you? Ha! ha! (_Skilfully evading the question, and pretending to quote._) "Rataplan, Ratalan!"--eh? Ha! ha!

[_They drink._

Mrs. Orby Frimmely appears, gentlemen and ladies crowd about her.

"Oh, charming! Such an admirable costume. You really must let me have a sketch of it."

_Mr. Muntson_ (_an Elderly Beau, with a literary-club reputation_). My dear Mrs. Frimmely, I've been saying to your husband, that the stage has positively suffered a loss in your not being ... as they say ... on the boards.

_Mrs. Orby Frimmely_ (_thinks that _his_ opinion, at all events, is worth having, and says_) I'm so glad you liked it.

_Mr. Muntson_ (_sees that he has created a most favourable impression and continues_). It was delightful. All the vivacity of the French stage--of course you know the French stage well?--(_Mrs. Frimmely nods.

She has seen Schneider in "La Grande d.u.c.h.esse," and takes in a French ill.u.s.trated paper_)--You have--you know the expression--_vous avez du chic_. (_Mrs. Frimmely makes a little curtsey. Elderly Mr. Muntson thinks that Mr. Frimmely is quite out of the race now that he has stept in. He goes on._) We have no actresses now--and if you went on to the stage it would simply be a triumph.

_Mrs. Frimmely_ (_gradually becoming convinced as to what _her_ vocation in life certainly ought to be_). But this little part I played to-night ... it is nothing ... You can't judge from that.

_Muntson._ I can, perfectly. I have seen--let me see--I recollect Mrs.

Humby and ...

[_Here he begins to be tedious. Mrs. Frimmely wants to talk about herself, not about other people. She welcomes Boodels._

_Boodels._ We have to thank you--most sincerely--for the great treat you've given us.

_Mr. Muntson._ I've just been saying that it reminded me--

[_Begins an anecdote._

_Medford_ (_in a corner with Myself; he gives me his private opinion_).

The piece would never have gone down without the music.

_Myself_ (_rather pooh-poohing it all_). No ... of course not.

Having neither acted nor appeared in any way, except as representative host to do the honours, which, I find, did themselves easily, I am a little bitter. n.o.body knew exactly who I was, nor seemed to take any interest in me at all, except old Mrs. Frampton, who thought I was a waiter, and asked me to order her carriage punctually.

_Medford._ Milburd is _so_ obstinate. You know at first he wouldn't introduce those tunes.

_Myself._ (_Who want to go and talk to Ada Cherton._) Wouldn't he?

_Medford._ No. (_With the air of a genuine critic._) Milburd couldn't touch c.o.x. Not his line at all. Between ourselves, Chilvern was best as the Waiter.

_Myself_ (_decidedly_). Oh, a long way. (_This is because he was an unimportant character comparatively. With very little to do, that little he did as if it wasn't in a play at all, but merely a bit of fun with the audience._)

_Cazell_ (_who is enthusiastic about theatricals after his performance of Don Boxos,--comes up to Medford_). I say! I tell you what we ought to do. We ought to get up a good big piece for all of us. (_He sees himself in some particular character._)

_Medford._ Yes (_reflectively_), we might easily do--let me see--there's the _Game of Speculation_.

_Myself._ Ah, yes! I remember. Charles Mathews played in it (_I add as a hit at Medford_) admirably; and (_to crush him with a final blow_) inimitably!

_Medford_ (_tolerantly_). Yes ... Charley (_he never met this excellent comedian, of course; but this is Medford all over_) has got some good "business" in the piece ... but (_diffidently_) I think I make some points which would rather astonish him. For instance, when, &c. &c.

[_Here Medford begins telling us how he is far in advance of every professional actor. Luckily the Signor comes up, and changes the conversation. After a few minutes, Medford shows the Signor his conjuring-trick of the s.h.i.+lling in the gla.s.s._

_The Signor_ (_entering the drawing-room_). O! my Jo! (_Everyone turns expecting to hear some startling intelligence. Quite unaware of the excitement he has caused, the Signor continues in his usual high key--appealing to everyone._) O! have you seen de leet-tel s.h.i.+llings, and (_smiling all over his face_) ze gla.s.s; eet ees so clev-ver (_without a pause_), I nev-ver see so clev-ver ting-in my-life!

_Madame_ (_severely_). What _are_ you talking about, Mr. Regniati?

_The Signor._ O, my dear, eet ess Mees-ter-Med-for; he ees so clev-ver!

he put ze s.h.i.+llings in ze gla.s.s, an' zen he go avays.

_Milburd._ Do it, Medford.

_Medford_ (_his chance at last--modestly_). Oh, it's nothing. I dare say most of you have seen it. I'll do it, with pleasure. Will anybody lend me a s.h.i.+lling?

_The Signor_ (_delighted, exclaiming to everyone_). O, eet ees so clev-ver! Dat leet-tel Medfor', he ees so clev-ver!