The Alchemist Part 2

FACE. What! for that money? I cannot with my conscience; nor should you Make the request, methinks.

DAP. No, sir, I mean To add consideration.

FACE. Why then, sir, I'll try. -- [GOES TO SUBTLE.] Say that it were for all games, doctor.

SUB. I say then, not a mouth shall eat for him At any ordinary, but on the score, That is a gaming mouth, conceive me.

FACE. Indeed!

SUB. He'll draw you all the treasure of the realm, If it be set him.

FACE. Speak you this from art?

SUB. Ay, sir, and reason too, the ground of art. He is of the only best complexion, The queen of Fairy loves.

FACE. What! is he?

SUB. Peace. He'll overhear you. Sir, should she but see him -- FACE. What?

SUB. Do not you tell him.

FACE. Will he win at cards too?

SUB. The spirits of dead Holland, living Isaac, You'd swear, were in him; such a vigorous luck As cannot be resisted. 'Slight, he'll put Six of your gallants to a cloke, indeed.

FACE. A strange success, that some man shall be born to.

SUB. He hears you, man -- DAP. Sir, I'll not be ingrateful.

FACE. Faith, I have confidence in his good nature: You hear, he says he will not be ingrateful.

SUB. Why, as you please; my venture follows yours.

FACE. Troth, do it, doctor; think him trusty, and make him. He may make us both happy in an hour; Win some five thousand pound, and send us two on't.

DAP. Believe it, and I will, sir.

FACE. And you shall, sir. [TAKES HIM ASIDE.] You have heard all?

DAP. No, what was't? Nothing, I, sir.

FACE. Nothing!

DAP. A little, sir.

FACE. Well, a rare star Reign'd at your birth.

DAP. At mine, sir! No.

FACE. The doctor Swears that you are -- SUB. Nay, captain, you'll tell all now.

FACE. Allied to the queen of Fairy.

DAP. Who! that I am? Believe it, no such matter -- FACE. Yes, and that You were born with a cawl on your head.

DAP. Who says so?

FACE. Come, You know it well enough, though you dissemble it.

DAP. I'fac, I do not; you are mistaken.

FACE. How! Swear by your fac, and in a thing so known Unto the doctor? How shall we, sir, trust you In the other matter? can we ever think, When you have won five or six thousand pound, You'll send us shares in't, by this rate?

DAP. By Jove, sir, I'll win ten thousand pound, and send you half. I'fac's no oath.

SUB. No, no, he did but jest.

FACE. Go to. Go thank the doctor: he's your friend, To take it so.

DAP. I thank his wors.h.i.+p.

FACE. So! Another angel.

DAP. Must I?

FACE. Must you! 'slight, What else is thanks? will you be trivial? -- Doctor, [DAPPER GIVES HIM THE MONEY.] When must he come for his familiar?

DAP. Shall I not have it with me?

SUB. O, good sir! There must a world of ceremonies pa.s.s; You must be bath'd and fumigated first: Besides the queen of Fairy does not rise Till it be noon.

FACE. Not, if she danced, to-night.

SUB. And she must bless it.

FACE. Did you never see Her royal grace yet?

DAP. Whom?

FACE. Your aunt of Fairy?

SUB. Not since she kist him in the cradle, captain; I can resolve you that.

FACE. Well, see her grace, Whate'er it cost you, for a thing that I know. It will be somewhat hard to compa.s.s; but However, see her. You are made, believe it, If you can see her. Her grace is a lone woman, And very rich; and if she take a fancy, She will do strange things. See her, at any hand. 'Slid, she may hap to leave you all she has: It is the doctor's fear.

DAP. How will't be done, then?

FACE. Let me alone, take you no thought. Do you But say to me, captain, I'll see her grace.

DAP. "Captain, I'll see her grace."

FACE. Enough.

[KNOCKING WITHIN.]

SUB. Who's there? Anon. [ASIDE TO FACE.] -- Conduct him forth by the back way. -- Sir, against one o'clock prepare yourself; Till when you must be fasting; only take Three drops of vinegar in at your nose, Two at your mouth, and one at either ear; Then bathe your fingers' ends and wash your eyes, To sharpen your five senses, and cry "hum" Thrice, and then "buz" as often; and then come.

[EXIT.]

FACE. Can you remember this?

DAP. I warrant you.

FACE. Well then, away. It is but your bestowing Some twenty n.o.bles 'mong her grace's servants, And put on a clean s.h.i.+rt: you do not know What grace her grace may do you in clean linen.

[EXEUNT FACE AND DAPPER.]

SUB [WITHIN]. Come in! Good wives, I pray you forbear me now; Troth I can do you no good till afternoon -- [RE-ENTERS, FOLLOWED BY DRUGGER.] What is your name, say you? Abel Drugger?

DRUG. Yes, sir.

SUB. A seller of tobacco?

DRUG. Yes, sir.

SUB. Umph! Free of the grocers?

DRUG. Ay, an't please you.

SUB. Well -- Your business, Abel?

DRUG. This, an't please your wors.h.i.+p; I am a young beginner, and am building Of a new shop, an't like your wors.h.i.+p, just At corner of a street: -- Here is the plot on't -- And I would know by art, sir, of your wors.h.i.+p, Which way I should make my door, by necromancy, And where my shelves; and which should be for boxes, And which for pots. I would be glad to thrive, sir: And I was wish'd to your wors.h.i.+p by a gentleman, One captain Face, that says you know men's planets, And their good angels, and their bad.

SUB. I do, If I do see them -- [RE-ENTER FACE.]

FACE. What! my honest Abel? Though art well met here.

DRUG. Troth, sir, I was speaking, Just as your wors.h.i.+p came here, of your wors.h.i.+p: I pray you speak for me to master doctor.

FACE. He shall do any thing. -- Doctor, do you hear? This is my friend, Abel, an honest fellow; He lets me have good tobacco, and he does not Sophisticate it with sack-lees or oil, Nor washes it in muscadel and grains, Nor buries it in gravel, under ground, Wrapp'd up in greasy leather, or p.i.s.s'd clouts: But keeps it in fine lily pots, that, open'd, Smell like conserve of roses, or French beans. He has his maple block, his silver tongs, Winchester pipes, and fire of Juniper: A neat, spruce, honest fellow, and no goldsmith.

SUB. He is a fortunate fellow, that I am sure on.

FACE. Already, sir, have you found it? Lo thee, Abel!

SUB. And in right way toward riches -- FACE. Sir!

SUB. This summer He will be of the clothing of his company, And next spring call'd to the scarlet; spend what he can.

FACE. What, and so little beard?

SUB. Sir, you must think, He may have a receipt to make hair come: But he'll be wise, preserve his youth, and fine for't; His fortune looks for him another way.

FACE. 'Slid, doctor, how canst thou know this so soon? I am amused at that!

SUB. By a rule, captain, In metoposcopy, which I do work by; A certain star in the forehead, which you see not. Your chestnut or your olive-colour'd face Does never fail: and your long ear doth promise. I knew't by certain spots, too, in his teeth, And on the nail of his mercurial finger.

FACE. Which finger's that?

SUB. His little finger. Look. You were born upon a Wednesday?

DRUG. Yes, indeed, sir.

SUB. The thumb, in chiromancy, we give Venus; The fore-finger, to Jove; the midst, to Saturn; The ring, to Sol; the least, to Mercury, Who was the lord, sir, of his horoscope, His house of life being Libra; which fore-shew'd, He should be a merchant, and should trade with balance.

FACE. Why, this is strange! Is it not, honest Nab?

SUB. There is a s.h.i.+p now, coming from Ormus, That shall yield him such a commodity Of drugs [POINTING TO THE PLAN.] -- This is the west, and this the south?

DRUG. Yes, sir.

SUB. And those are your two sides?

DRUG. Ay, sir.

SUB. Make me your door, then, south; your broad side, west: And on the east side of your shop, aloft, Write Mathlai, Tarmiel, and Baraborat; Upon the north part, Rael, Velel, Thiel. They are the names of those mercurial spirits, That do fright flies from boxes.

DRUG. Yes, sir.

SUB. And Beneath your threshold, bury me a load-stone To draw in gallants that wear spurs: the rest, They'll seem to follow.

FACE. That's a secret, Nab!

SUB. And, on your stall, a puppet, with a vice And a court-fucus to call city-dames: You shall deal much with minerals.

DRUG. Sir, I have. At home, already -- SUB. Ay, I know you have a.r.s.enic, Vitriol, sal-tartar, argaile, alkali, Cinoper: I know all. -- This fellow, captain, Will come, in time, to be a great distiller, And give a say -- I will not say directly, But very fair -- at the philosopher's stone.

FACE. Why, how now, Abel! is this true?

DRUG [ASIDE TO FACE]. Good captain, What must I give?

FACE. Nay, I'll not counsel thee. Thou hear'st what wealth (he says, spend what thou canst,) Thou'rt like to come to.

DRUG. I would gi' him a crown.

FACE. A crown! and toward such a fortune? heart, Thou shalt rather gi' him thy shop. No gold about thee?

DRUG. Yes, I have a portague, I have kept this half-year.