Brite and Fair Part 8

there is sum fun in geting licked onct in a while if you have a chance to escaip and it is a grate deel moar fun if sumbuddy else gets licked for sumthing you have did. sumtimes a feller will tel on sumbuddy else and then evry feler whitch can lick him licks him the ferst time they gets the chance. but most of the fellers will take another fellers lickings without a yip. Old Francis lickings is wirse than 2 or 3 of another fellers lickings but aint so bad as 30 or 40 lickings whitch a feller is sh.o.a.r to get if he tells on anuther feller to say nuthing about the girls running their tungs out at you and calling you tattle tail and stiking their nose up in the air when they goes by you whitch maiks a feller feal prety cheep whitch is sumtimes wirse than a licking.

So on the hoal i had ruther go to school than stay in my room whitch dont make enny diference becaus i have got to go ennyway wether i want to or not.

tonite i had to studdy Colburn arithmatic. it is the wirst book i ever studded. i bet there aint a boy in this wirld whitch doesnt want to paist time out of old Colburn. i had ruther be a merderer if nomuddy gnew it than be a feler whitch rote a arithmatic.

Ennyway old Colburn had a key whitch tells jest how to do the xamples and has them all figgered out. teechers is aloud to have the key but the scholers cant have it. Enny time old Francis dont know how to do a xample he looks in his key and lerns how and then a feller whitch dont have a key is snached baldheaded becaus he dont know how to do it. i dont think that is fair. i had 10 xamples to do and i have got them all did. Cele done 4 and Keene 3 and father 3. so i am all rite tomorrow.

father give me 2 bats in the ear befoar i undestood one xample. Keene gets mad but she dont da.s.s to bat me. Cele is the best.

September 16, 186---brite and fair. i havent let my boat for a long time. Pewts' father has got the best boats now. it was prety quite in school today only 9 fellers got licked. five of them hollered to make old Francis stop. Scotty Briggim never hollers and Stubby Gooch and Tady Tilton and Jack Mevlin dont ever holler. n.i.g.g.e.r Bell never got but one licking and he hollered louder than enny feller i ever herd Old Francis dont lick him becaus he hollers so loud.

September 17, 186---brite and fair. i havent had a cent for moar than a weak. it is tuf to be so poar. i have got to rase sum c.h.i.n.k sumhow. Beany aint paid me my 40 cents yet.

September 18, 186---i got licked today in school.

jest for nothing. sum one put sum gum in Medo Thirstems seet and he coodent get up to resite and old Francis yanked him up and found the gum and licked me becaus i set jest behine his seet. he sed he had been keeping his ey on me for a long time.

it cant be very long becaus school has only been 3 days. today was wensday and there wasent enny school in the afternoon. me and Putter went up river fis.h.i.+ng and caught 8 pickeril. prety good for us.

September 19, 186---brite and fair. nex weak is the county fair and cattle show. i am going. the band is pracktising evry nite and that is the reeson i cant get my lessons. no feller can studdy when a band is playing king John quickstep and red stocking quickstep and romanse from Leeclare and departed days and things like them rite across the strete. so i miss in my lessons and get licked most every day.

sum day i am going to play in a band. i shall play a e flat cornet like old Robinson and Bruce Briggim and Rashe Belnap. they played a new peace tonite.

i shoodent think men whitch cood play in a band wood ever do ennything else. i never wood.

September 20, 186---rany as time. i hoap it wont rane next weak when they are having the fare.

tonite it raned so hard that the band dident pracktise so i had time to studdy. i coodent do ennything this afternoon but set in Ed Toles barn and see the horses rubed down.

September 21, 186---brite and fair today. i went to chirch today. After chirch me and father went up to the fair grounds. they have got a lot of sheds bilt and most of the fence is up and the ralings round the track. i bet it will be a good fair.

Peekily Tiltons father plays in the band and 3 uncles. his father plays a b flat tenner horn and his uncle Ed plays a e flat base horn and his uncle George plays an e flat alto horn and his uncle Warrin plays a b flat cornet. Peeliky says he is going to play some day. he doesnt know what he will play but he wil play sumthing. i asted father why he dident play in the band and he sed they was dam fools enuf in the wirld without he being one. i was going to ast him to by me a cornet but i desided i woodent jest yet. i gnew jest what he wood say if i asted him.

father says he dont like band playing but i notise he stays to home the nites the band plays and sets on the steps an lisens and beets time with his foot and sumtimes puts in as good base as Ed Tilton, Peeliky Tiltons uncle can with his base horn and when sumbuddy in the band plays out of tune he gumps up and waulks up and down the piaza and says why dont they hit that feller with a ax. so i know he likes band playing as wel as i do. i wish he played in the band fer then i wood go into the bandroom and hear them. me and Beany tride to go in one nite and we was jest going up stairs when sumbuddy throwed a hoal pale of water on us and we skined out prety lifely. i woodent care if they only wood let us in after they had throwed the water but they hollered get out of here you little devils or we will drownd you. i bet them band fellers can lick enny other band fellers and beat them playing two. i bet our band is as good as enny band in the wirld.

September 22, 186---i am terible xcited. we are going to have three days vacasion this week while they have the fair and cattle show and i have got a seeson ticket becaus Charles Talor is going to have Nellie to drive the hoal time. he gets the hay and grane and straw for the annimals and has got to be going in and out of the fair grounds al the time and father has let him have Nellie and he give me and father a seeson tickit. so i kin go all the time so long as i split my kinlins and get in my wood and all the pales of water mother wants. Beanys father is going to ride in percession as marchal with a yeller sash on and long yeller gloves on and a stick with red and white and blew ribbons on it and so Beany has got a seeson tickit two and Pewts father is going to put sum golden pollish hens and sum rocky mountain hens in the hen show and so Pewt has got a seeson ticket. Beany has pade me back my forty cents. i tell you there aint many fellers whitch has as good luck as i have got. 3 days vacasion and a season tickit to a fair and cattle show and plenty of money. i dont se what else a feller cood want. tonite i studded as hard as i cood with a band playing 2 or 3 new peaces. Cele helped me with my examples.

it wont do for me to miss in my lessons tomorrow or nex day. i gess with Celes help i can hang on for 2 days more after that i dont care so mutch.

September 32, 186---it looks like rane. i hoap it wil rane today if it ranes this weak. today i saw a man drive throug town in a high wheal gig hiched to a auful long legged horse. the man had on a cap with a long viser and had pullers on his ranes and had 2 pales hung under his gig and set on a lot of blankits and the horse had on a white blanket with red letters on it whitch sed Flying Tiger 2.57 enterd for the free for all. he asted Tommy Tomson the way to the fair grounds and Tommy sed he cood show him and he clim into the gig and drove off. well Tommy he staid to the fair grounds all the forenoon and in the afternon old Francis licked him and made him holler two but Tommy sed it was worth it to stay to the fair grounds haff a day and get out of school for one licking. he sed it dident hurt mutch and he only hollered to make him stop.

Tommy says they have bilt a bandstand and a stand for the juges and pens for the pigs and hens and cattle and resterants and pop corn places and evrything else. i wood like to go up tonite but father says i cant go up until the ferst day of the fair.

Tommy says there is going to be a snaik charmer and a bull whitch gives milk and a girl whitch has got 2 heads and 4 legs and 4 arms and a sheep with 6 legs. mother says i cant go in to see the girl with 4 legs becaus its impropper to look at a girls legs.

i asted father and he sed it is twict as impropper to look at a 4 leged girls legs as a 2 leged one so i cant go in to see that.

Tommy sed they was going to be a troting race for bulls. Charley Treadwill has got a big white and black bull named Nickerbocker whitch he drives in a wagon with a bit in his mouth and he is going to have a race with a bull from Portsmouth.

i bet on Charleys bull. i wish it was a bull fite. i wood bet on Charleys bull.

old Wakeup Robinson is going to trot his horse Prince John. they is going to have 2 bands the Exeter band and the Newmarket band. i bet the Exeter band is the best. i cant hardly wate for tomorrow.

i dident miss in school today and tonite we set out on the steps to hear the band. old wisler Weeks is going to play a fife in the band and old Potsy Dirgin is going to play a fife two.

September 24, 186---brite and fair and county fair two. that is a goke and a good one two but n.o.buddy will ever see it but me. gosh i am tired tonite i never had so much fun in my life. we had the best percession i ever see. first come the marchals George Perkins and John Gardner and Beanys father and old Francis and John Gibson all on white horses xcept George Perkins and John Gardner and old Francis whitch was on red horses and Jon Gibson whitch was on a spoted horse and they all looked fine. then come the Exeter band and then a lot of ox teems full of wimen in white with their hides all brushed up with curry combs and their horns all cuvered with ribbons and evergreens in their slats.

i tell you when old Giddings and old Wiliam Conner and old Nat Gilman jabbed them with the ox G.o.des they walked along prety lifely. then come the Newmarket band and then the fire ingine and a lot of men with cains and stove pipe hats and then a steam wagon and then Charles Tredwill driving his bull and old wakeup Robinson with his troter and a sope pedler with a humpback horse. it was the best percession i ever see. the Exeter band played 4 times as loud as the Newmarket band. i wish you cood have heard Peeliky Tiltons uncles play you wood have thougt they wood bust their cheeks but they dident. Fatty Walker broak 2 heads on his base drum the ferst day and Len Heirvey broak one in the snair drum. I gnew they wood beat the Newmarket band. tonite father and mother and Cele and Keene and Georgie have went to the haughticulture show in the town hall. they have all sorts of frutes and beens and pees and beets and flowers and gars of frute and perserves and bread and cake and pyes to see whitch has maid the best and gnitting and sowing things and drawings and paintings and bea hives and stufed birds and a stufed wilcat showing her teeth. it is ded so it cant hirt ennybuddy and composisons of school girls and handwriting and lots of things. i wanted to go but father sed i codent go to evrything. i gess i will go to bed. i have got a verry bizy day tomorow.

Beany is going to try and get a gob tomorow.

September 25, 186---brite and fair again. i am prety tired again tonite and am staying to home.

father and arnt Sahar and Keene and Cele and Georgie have went to the haughticulchure show this time and me and mother are staying to home.

mother is rocking the baby and i am in my room wrighting. today there was a percession this morning and i was in it but only a litle while. i held one end of the base drum but evry time Fatty Walker wood hit it a good belt he wood send me flying round sideways and at the end of the ferst peace i felt jest as if old Francis had shook my livver out.

so i give it up. so they got Curley Conner a big feller. Fatty cood bang the drum as hard as he cood lam it but he coodent nock Curley round.

today the Exeter band beat the Newmarket band again. it scart 4 horses and made them run awa and smashed 3 wagons and throwed out 14 people and the Newmarket band only scart one horse and dident throw out enny peeple. i tell you Exeter can beat Newmarket evry time.

Me and Pewt and Beany all got a chance to take a gob. the man that hollers for Julia the snaik charmer offerd us 1 doller apeace if we wood stand up on the platform and let a boar constricter coil around us and then Julia the snaik charmer wood come out and charm the snaiks and save our lifes.

you bet we dident take that gob.

Beany got a gob hollering for a peap show of war pictures but his father come riding up and snaiked him out. i give 5 cents of my 40 cents that Beany pade me to get a shock in a lectric machine and when i got hold of the handels i coodent let go.

i felt like a crasy boan all over and i danced and hollered till Jerry Carter come up and told the man if he dident stop the machine he wood smash it and smash him two so the man he stopped it and i let go and run. Everybuddy laffed but me and Jerry Carter.

then we went to the track to see the bull race.

there was a big black bull hiched into a gig troting up and down the track and they were wating for Charly Tredwill and Nickerbocker. bimeby he come troting down the track and when the red bull see the other he stopd and pawed the ground and bellered and Nickerboker he done the sam and both men begun to lick them but the bulls dident notise it enny more than if a fli stang them and they put their heds down and began to push and b.u.t.t and hook and roar and they tiped over the gig and the wagon and throwed Charly and the other man out and stepped on Charly Tredwill's head and nocked down the rales and went bang agenst the Juges stand and everybuddy hollered for Charlys bull xcept about haff of them whitch hollered for the other bull but n.o.buddy da.s.sed to go near them.

bimeby the Captain of the Ingine company whitch was going to have a xibition squirt hollered to the fellers to start the breaks and they done it and begun to squert rite on the bulls heads and they coodent stand it and they stoped fiting. they were all tuckered out and there harna.s.ses and wagons was all smashed to kinlin wood. it was beter than enny dog fite i ever see. every buddy sed it was the best thing in the show. i wish they had let them fite it out. i bet Charlys bull wood lick. father sed twict that Charly wasent hirt becaus his head was solid way through. that enny feller whitch wood fool away his time to trane a bull to trot in a race coodent be hirt by ennything stepping on his head.

Beany has got a gob as waiter in a resterrent. he got 50 cents yesterday. Pewt got 50 cents in working for a feler whitch has a lot of poasts and a lot of rings. the poasts is all numbered and they is a preasent for every poast. You give 10 cents to toss a ring. if you toss it good and it goes over a poast you get a gold wach or a 12 blaided gnife or a gold headed cain or a sigar or a whip or a doll or a gla.s.s pitcher. i tossed it over a poast and got a sigar and i give the sigar to old Barny Casidy and he lit it and took 2 puffs and spit it out and sed it was made of a old horse blanket. tomorrow is the last day of the fair and if i am going to ern enny money i have got to get a gob prety quick. father is going to stay at home tomorow to go to the fair.

i have had a auful good time today and seen some good races but i havent had a gob. Pewt and Beany always have the luck.

September 28, 186---this is a rany sunday. i cant go to chirch becaus my paint has not come off yet. i shood not da.s.s to go to chirch becaus peeple wood laff rite out loud. father says he dont believe it will ever come off. but mother says it will with plenty of greece and soft sope. i am most raw now. i wish father had kiled that man. i never got into so bad a scraip before. father says that he has desided that the reform school or the idjut a.s.silem is the only place for me but mother says i needent wurry about that for that is only his talk but i must be more cairful in the future. i told her i dident meen ennything rong but only wanted to earn a little money and she sed she gnew that but there is sum ways of erning money whitch is open to objecsion and i gess she is rite and this is one of them ways. After a feller has had his skin scrubed with soft sope and bristol brick for two days jest like pollis.h.i.+ng a bra.s.s door gnocker he wishes he was ded.

Well you see i maid up my mind to get a gob becaus Beany had and Pewt had and i had spent all my money. so the first thing i done when i had did my ch.o.a.rs was to put for the fair grounds erly.

when i got there i went to the resterrent and asted them if they wanted a waiter. they sed no but they was a feller whitch had a tent nex to Julia the snaik charmer whitch has ben triing to get 2 boys. so i went over there and there was a new tent and a big picture painted on a sheet of the wild men of Bornio whitch was captured after a dredful fite in whitch 6 bludhounds was kiled and 4 men fataly injered for life. they was a picture of soldiers and hunters with guns and bludhounds chasing the 2 wild men and carring off the wounded men and the ded dogs.

when i got there i saw a big man with a big mustash talking with Hiram Mingo a n.i.g.g.e.r boy.

i asted him if he had a gob for me and he looked at me and sed i was prety skinny but perhaps he cood fix me. he asted us into the tent. i woodent go for i was afrade of the wild men of Bornio but he sed the tent was emty. so we went in and he sed he had bad luck. That both his wild men was sick and he had a wife and nine small children, and he had got to earn there bread and the only way to do it was to get sum kind hearted feller like us to be wild men. he sed if we wood do that for him he wood pay us 2 dollars apeace and his nine children and his sick wife and blind mother wood pray for us on her gnees. i was auful sorry for him he looked so sad. he sed he had looked up a lot of feller and talked with a lot and we was the only fellers that was smart enuf to do it. he sed he never was gnew to maik a mistake in a feller. he gnew he cood trust us enny time. so i asted him what we wood have to do and he sed he wood paint us up like wild men and put on sum firs and leperd skins and sum bra.s.s rings on our hine legs and a necklace of tiger claws and all we wood have to do was to snarl and say yowk and let out howls, and try to get at peeple. i dident want to black up but Hiram dident care becaus he is a n.i.g.g.e.r. so is asted him if the black wood ware off and he sed yes and so after a while i sed i wood. well he made me take off all my close and he painted me all over black and he put sum black stuf on my hair and twisted out all the points whitch stuck up, then he wound a leperd skin round me and round Hiram and i had a neck lace of tiger claws and 2 bra.s.s rings round my hine legs. then he took sum red paint and he painted sum big scars on us where tigers had toar us. when he showed me in the looking gla.s.s how it looked it scart me. i never would have gnew it was me. i was wirse looking than a babboon.

then he learned us how to snarl and yowl and make faces. he sed it was easier for me to make faces than enny feller he had ever gnew and he sed it must come natural to me. He sed i wood scare a gorilla white. then he lerned us how to fite and sed we must snarl and fite when he was out on the platform telling the peeple about us and then we wood rush in and crack a whip and fire a pistol in our faces and stop us.

Well after we had lerned how he put a ox chane on to us and then he went out and begun to holler.

he sed ladies and gentlemen for one short day only you are privileged to see the wild men of Bornio, imported at vast expense by arrangements with the king of Bornio and captured after a terific fite after 6 dogs was killed and 4 men fataly ingered for life. they are of small size but like the man munky they have the strength of 7 strong men in their sinews and boans and in there native lair they track and kill the maneeting tiger and the lion with there naked hands. then he pounded his stick twict on the platform and it was a signal to us and we begun to yowl and snarl and stamp and he sed there they are taring each other to bits and he rushed in and hollered and cracked his whip and fired his pistal and we yowled and snarld and peeple begun to rush up and pay 10 cents to come in. when they saw us one woman sed my what dredful looking things and one man sed i have got a 15 years old boy that can lick boath of them munkys. so when he and his boy come near the platform i gumped at him and made a auful face and let out a auful howl and i wish you cood have seen that 15 years old boy hiper acrost that tent and holler. he was scart most to deth and the man two and a woman screached and they had to carry her out. then the man cracked his whip and drove me back snarling and making auful faces and Hiram he let out sum auful yowls and bit his chane and fomed at the mouth with sope and the man told how only last weak he had to put on us a red hot iron to drive us off a hieener whitch had got out of its cage and had atacted us but he was two lait and before he cood drive us from our pray we toar him to bits.

A man asted what we et and he sed live rabits and chickings and sometimes frogs. well peeple kep coming in droves and bimeby i see Beany an Pewt come. Beanys eyes were jest like sorcers. i laid down and snarled a litle and i pertended to be asleep and snarled in my sleep like a dog does. i wanted Beany to come near me and so i kep quite and bimeby Beany and Pewt come close to the platform and i make a gump at them and let out the loudest yowl and maid the feerfullst face i cood.

wel Beany went heels over head and hollered bludy merder and Pewt he div rite out under the bottom of the tent and that is the last i see of them. a lot of people come in whitch i gnew and i scart a lot of them most to deth and old mister Emerson lost his false teeth and dident das to come back after them.

i never had so mutch fun in my life. bimeby i see father and Charles Talor come in. when they see us Talor begun to laff and sed thunder George the skinny munky faced one is skinny enuf to be your boy and father laffed and sed did you ever see sutch a looking thing in your life. i wated till they come up and then i gumped to the end of my chane and yowled feerful and toar my hair and stamped my feet and made faces and snarled auful and Hiram done the same. they kep back out of reech and father sed well if them is the kind of things fellers see whitch has the delirim tremens i never shall taik another drink what do you say Talor and they laffed and went out. well we scart peeple all that day and had a grate time. at dinner he closed the tent and give us sumthing to eat and drink and then in the afternoon we done the same thing. we got prety tired of it but we kep on. bimeby father come in again and looked round and asted sum men if they had seen his boy. they sed no and he went away.

bimeby he come in agen and stood and looked at us a long time. i was tired and dident yowl so mutch.

after awhile he come up near and i made a gump at him and knashed my teeth. he kep back so i coodent tare him whitch was a good thing for him for he wood have broak my back and he sed that is the ferst time i ever see blew eyd n.i.g.g.e.r and he kept looking. well a lot of peeple come in and the man begun to talk about us and pounded the platform and we had augt to have fit, but we was boath prety sick of it and he cracked his whip clost to Hiram and snached a peace of skin off his back and it hirt Hiram so bad that he forgot he was a wild man of Bornio and had been toar by a tiger and he begun to ball and in a minit evrybuddy was hollering cheet cheet and father jumped over the raling and grabed me and yanked me off that platform and men were hollering kill the cheet and evrybuddy was trying to get at him and codent find him for he had got out sumway. wel father sed you infernal idjut where is your close and i sed in that trunk and he opened the trunk and got out my close and made me put them on and Hiram he put his on and peeple were hollering for there money back for it was a cheet and i sed where is my 2 dollars and father sed what you ned is 2 lickings and that is what you will get when i get you home if i can ever get your hide clean enuf to lick and he got Charles Talor to drive up with Nellie and took me home.

When we come out of the tent they was a big crowd whitch holllered and laffed at us and all the fellers hollered Plupy the niger munky and Plupy the wild man of Bornio. it was tuf on me for all Hiram Mingo had to do was to put on his close and hat and he was all rite. well when we got home and went into the house mother was so surprised that she nerly dropped the baby. i gess she wood have but he begun to howl and grab her round the neck and hold his breth and grow black in the face and Franky and Annie howled and held on to her skerts and to aunt Sarahs two and they had to be took out of the room and when mother and aunt Sarah come back they sed what have you got there George and father sed it is your smart son, and mother sed what has he been doing now, and father sed he has been a wild man of Bornio at 10 cents a whack and mother and arnt Sarah sed well of all things in this wirld and then they begun to laff until the teers roled down there cheaks and father sed i know it aint no laffing matter and mother sed i know it aint and then she lafed so it hirt her side. bimeby father sed what are we going to do. i draw the line at bringing up a babboon or a man munky in this family.

So mother and aunt Sarah and father and me went down to the kitchen and got a tub and filled it with warm water and they put me in and then they scrubed me with soft sope and then they took me out and most of the black was on. the water was sum black but they sed they coodent see it was enny blacker than when i took my reglar Saterday bath. then they filled the tub again and scrubed me with soft sope and bristol brick. it about skined me and maid me holler. that took off sum of the black.

then they tride seesand and that hirt so they had to stop so they greesed me with lard and wiped it off and father sed i was improving. he sed i looked like a half n.i.g.g.e.r and he guessed nex week they cood get me to look like a quarune and praps weak after nex like a octerune.

i have got to stay in until i get white again.

mother says i am the wirst looking thing she ever see in her life. father is talking about reform school again but i ges i needent wurry. today i was two soar to be scrubed so i was greased and wiped off.

Tomorrow if i am not two soar they are going to try bristol brick and soft soap again. i had my head shaived. father done it with the horse clippers.

tomorrow if i am not two soar they are going to try bristol brick and soft sope again i asted father if they cougt that man and he sed no they never wood. it is tuf to end a weak this way. it is a auful xperience for a feller whitch has always tride to do rite.