I Will Fear No Evil Part 40

"Oh, there is, I mentioned it. The Four Hors.e.m.e.n. They never sleep, they're never off duty. And there. there." He pointed at the Moon. "Eunice, I suspect that our race's tragedy has been played endless times. It may be that an intelligent race has to expand right up to its disaster point to achieve what is needed to break out of its planet and reach for the stars. It may always-or almost always-be a photo finish, with the outcome uncertain to the last moment. Just as it is with us. It may take endless wars and unbearable population pressure to force-feed a technology to the point where it can cope with s.p.a.ce. In the universe, s.p.a.ce travel may be the normal birth pangs of an otherwise dying race. A test. Some races pa.s.s, some fail."

She s.h.i.+vered. "Gruesome."

"Yes. And no way to talk to a gal in what used to be called a 'delicate condition.' Sorry, darling."

"A gruesome thought at any time, Jake. I'm not not in a 'delicate condition.' I'm doing what this body is designed for. Building a baby. Feels in a 'delicate condition.' I'm doing what this body is designed for. Building a baby. Feels good. good. I'm enjoying it." I'm enjoying it."

"So it appears and that makes me happy. But, Eunice, before you shut down your house and move into a yacht, I must mention one thing. I think you must put it off until you've had this baby."

"Why, Jake? No morning sickness. I doubt if seasickness will be a problem."

"Because you are are in a delicate condition, no matter how good it feels. I'd feel happier if you were never more than five minutes from medical attention. You'd be okay at home; Bob and Winnie are there. You're okay here-a hotel resident physician and a good one-believe me, I checked on him-and a modern hospital over there, in sight. But at in a delicate condition, no matter how good it feels. I'd feel happier if you were never more than five minutes from medical attention. You'd be okay at home; Bob and Winnie are there. You're okay here-a hotel resident physician and a good one-believe me, I checked on him-and a modern hospital over there, in sight. But at sea sea? Suppose you had a seven-month preemie? We'd lose the baby and probably you, too. No, Eunice."

"Oh." (Eunice, any point in telling him that you carried your first one full term and no trouble?) (No, twin. How are you going to prove it? If you mention me now now, you're just a female with pregnancy delusions. Boss, this is one argument you're going to lose. So concede it at once. Fall back and find another route.) "Jacob, I can't argue. I lost my first wife with her first baby; I know it can happen. But what would you think of this? Could you persuade Roberto and Winnie to come with us? Then not go very far to sea. If we were anch.o.r.ed where that trimaran is, that hospital could be just as close . . . and Roberto would be aboard. This hotel physician must be all right as you have checked on him but I would rather have Roberto. He knows me inside and out. And never mind wisecracks; I mean as my physician. Or does the fact that you know that Roberto has slept with me make him unacceptable to you as my O.B. man?" (Whew! Twin, that was a foul blow.) (Oh, pooh, Eunice, I'm just confusing the issue.) Jake Salomon c.o.c.ked one eyebrow and grinned down at her. "Little one, you can't embarra.s.s me that easily. If Bob is the baby-cotcher you want, I'll do my best to persuade him . . . as long as you you don't mind Bob's wife being around." don't mind Bob's wife being around."

"Pooh to you, sir. If you and Winnie want to stroll down memory's lane, I'll tuck you in and kiss you good-night. She's certain to console you while I'm benched-and you'll need it."

"Thereby giving you carte blanche later. A woman almost always falls in love with the doctor who delivers her first baby."

"Pooh again. I've loved Roberto a long time and you know it. Are you jealous, Jacob?"

"No. Just curious. I suppose that injunction you laid on me on our wedding day still applies? It occurs to me that, with respect to the day you mentioned, Bob had opportunity before, during, and after."

"Is that all it takes, dear? Just opportunity?" (Just about, twin!) She grinned at him and wrinkled her nose. "Sweetheart, all I will admit is the possibility that Roberto's name might be in the hat. But it could have been Finchley. Or Hubert. Or dear Judge Mac. You and Alec were awfully busy that day-but I think you'll find that Mac adjourned court at his usual hour . . . and I wasn't home until much later."

"Is that a confession?"

"Well, there might be a confession in there somewhere. somewhere."

"Quit pulling my leg, my love. There are oniy two sorts of wives. Those who cheat, and -those who have their husbands' friendly cooperation, in which case-"

"Isn't there a third sort?"

"Eh? Oh, you mean faithful faithful wives. Oh, certainly. So I've heard. But in my twenty years of general practice, much of it divorce cases, I encountered so few of wives. Oh, certainly. So I've heard. But in my twenty years of general practice, much of it divorce cases, I encountered so few of that that sort-none I felt certain about-that I cannot venture an opinion. Wives technically faithful form so small a part of the sample that I can't evaluate them. People being what they are, a rational man should be satisfied if his meals are on time and his dignity not affronted. What I was trying to say is, that if you ever want my friendly cooperation, don't a.s.sault my credibility with a wet firecracker such as Hubert. Judge Mac I could believe. Tom Finchley is a very masculine person too, and one who bathes regularly-even though he sometimes abuses the sacred English tongue in a manner which causes me to flinch. Bob Garcia shows your good taste. But, sort-none I felt certain about-that I cannot venture an opinion. Wives technically faithful form so small a part of the sample that I can't evaluate them. People being what they are, a rational man should be satisfied if his meals are on time and his dignity not affronted. What I was trying to say is, that if you ever want my friendly cooperation, don't a.s.sault my credibility with a wet firecracker such as Hubert. Judge Mac I could believe. Tom Finchley is a very masculine person too, and one who bathes regularly-even though he sometimes abuses the sacred English tongue in a manner which causes me to flinch. Bob Garcia shows your good taste. But, please please, darling, don't expect me to believe that Hubert's name could be in the hat." (Twin, Jake knows us too well. Better not try to fool him too much.) (Ever hear of a 'red herring,' love?) "Very well, sir; I'll take Hubert's name out of the hat. That still leaves endless possibilities, does it not? And I will try always to respect your dignity. But, speaking of meals on time, I had better get busy or your dinner will be late."

"Why not just cold cuts and such when we feel like it and heat a tin of soup? I was thinking of a nap."

"Shall I join you, sir?"

"I said 'nap,' sweetheart. Sleep. A nap with you is not restful. Old Senor Jacob needs a siesta."

"Yes, sir. May I finish quickly what I was saying? We can take care of anyone who wants to retire, or wants another job, or wishes to stay on with Hugo. But I am hoping that some of them might come with us as crew in our trimaran or whatever. Especially if they've been to sea before and know something about it."

"Finchley does. He was sent up for smuggling or some such."

"I was hoping that all of my mobiles except Hugo-and Rockford, if you want him-might decide to sail with us. They are all strong and able, and not much family problem. Fred's wife split some months back, Dabrowski has no children at home, and Olga might be willing to be a chambermaid-stewardess, I should say-if she likes to sail; she's insisted on doing most of the cleaning and such here even though she doesn't have to. As for the Finchleys, Tom is just what we need-it wasn't smuggling drugs; they were running arms into Central America as I recall, and he was first mate-and Hester Finchley is a good cook. Eve is no problem, she already knows how to read and write and do arithmetic-and if they tell her about this, she'll be teasing her parents to take the job; all kids want to travel. Dear? If you are going in, would you see who's on guard at the lift, and ask him to dig out Finchley? He may know something about trimarans."

"I think he has the watch now. Shall I chuck you a robe?"

"Am I getting too much sun? Doesn't feel so; I've been using the lotion. Oh! Oh! You mean for Thomas the Tom Cat? But, dear, we've been swimming with him and his family every day. As well as with Fred and the Dabrowskis." You mean for Thomas the Tom Cat? But, dear, we've been swimming with him and his family every day. As well as with Fred and the Dabrowskis."

"I don't give a hoot, dear, but I thought you were anxious to preserve appearances."

"Seems silly when I swim and sunbathe with all of them. As for appearances, didn't I see you patting Hester's bottom in the pool yesterday? Or was it Wednesday?"

"It was Tuesday and it wasn't Hester, it was her daughter Eve. Just practicing to be a s.e.x maniac, Beautiful-nothing serious. So don't be jealous."

"Beloved, the day I'm jealous of a little girl I want you to beat me. Not spank me. Beat some sense into me, woodshed style. But it was Hester, not her daughter. My gallant, wonderful Jacob would never bother a little girl."

"Perhaps not but that little girl bothers the h.e.l.l out of me. me. Furthermore she does it on purpose." Furthermore she does it on purpose."

"Poor Jake. Even thirteen-year-olds won't leave him alone. I'm not surprised; I didn't leave him alone, either."

"In this case, she's thirteen-going-on-twenty-one. I'll make you a deal, dearest. I'll carefully avoid chaperoning you with her father if you will be very very careful careful always always to chaperon me with his daughter." to chaperon me with his daughter."

"Yes, sir. To hear is to obey, my lord-though I am chagrined that you think I might need chaperoning-or not chaperoning, as the case may be-with one of our servants. But how about Hester? Must I always be sure to be in sight when she's around?"

"Mind your own business, wench. Uh, no need to be fanatical about it. I want them all to feel easy when they come up here to swim as I don't want any any of our household ever to swim in that sewage down there. You know the coliform count in that beautiful surf. That was the deal we offered-stay off the beaches entirely and they could swim in our pool at any time. So we sacrifice a little privacy but don't have one of them picking up amebiasis or such and spreading it through our whole family. It evens out-and they are all nice people . . . even our precocious Eve who's doing her best to see if she can upset me." of our household ever to swim in that sewage down there. You know the coliform count in that beautiful surf. That was the deal we offered-stay off the beaches entirely and they could swim in our pool at any time. So we sacrifice a little privacy but don't have one of them picking up amebiasis or such and spreading it through our whole family. It evens out-and they are all nice people . . . even our precocious Eve who's doing her best to see if she can upset me."

"I haven't minded, Jacob; it is not good to be too much alone. But we were speaking of Hester's bottom. Shapely, huh?"

"Hon, you're as bad as Eve. I'm going to go and say ten Money Hums and catch that siesta. I'll send out Tom. Don't let me sleep more than an hour. Kiss."

She turned her face up. As he left she dived in, swam a couple of lengths and climbed out, was waiting, staring down at the yacht harbor when Finchley arrived. "You sent for me, Ma'am?"

She smiled. "Thomas Cattus, that's not my name when we're alone."

He glanced over his shoulder, said almost soundlessly, "p.u.s.s.y Cat, the Boss is awake."

"So he is. But he's gone to his room and closed the door. Siesta. He'll be asleep in almost no time. But I don't mean to scare you, Thomas Cattus dear. Come here to the rail, want to show you something. Have you done any sailing? Or has it all been power?"

"Sailing? Oh, sure, I grew up on Chesapeake Bay. Cat boats and such."

"Ever sail a trimaran?"

"Never skippered one. Crewed in one when I was sixteen."

"What do you think of them?"

"Depends on what for. Okay if you want something more like a houseboat than a racer. But I wouldn't have one without an auxiliary engine. In tight waters they can be as awkward as two people in a bathtub."

"Ever try it in a bathtub, Thomas Cattus?"

"Sure, who hasn't? Okay for a giggle with a few drinks aboard. But a bed is better. Or a floor."

"How about a sunbathing mat?"

"p.u.s.s.y Cat, you enjoy enjoy scaring me. You gonna get us caught, yet." scaring me. You gonna get us caught, yet."

"Rhetorical question, dear; I wasn't twisting your arm. Tell me, do you think Hester and Jake have ever made it?"

"Practically certain they never." He grinned at her. "But I can tell you something."

"Then do. Pretty please. Pretty Tom Cat with the muscles."

"Not Hester's fault they haven't. I know. She told me bang, one night, while we were at it. Said the Boss could have it any time he reached for it. Hester thinks the Boss is G.o.d's right hand."

"Well, so do I. But it doesn't keep me from appreciating my Thomas Cat. How would you feel about it? Jake and Hester."

"Me?" He looked astonished. "Look, p.u.s.s.y Cat, you know if anybody does I don't see no sense in putting a fence around a broad. Just makes her want to jump it. I'd ruther hold open the gate for her, she wants to."

"I said, 'How would you you feel about it, dear?' " feel about it, dear?' "

"Oh." Her driver-guard looked thoughtful. "Wouldn't get my nose out of joint. The Boss is numero uno, da kine. Rozzer?"

"Roz."

"He knocked up a broad, he'd pay. No huhu. But no huhu anyhow; we were only licensed for one and Hester had herself fixed, right after she had Eve. Good broad I married-didn't split when I dropped one, took me back when I was paroled. Oh, she shacked, sure-but just with her boss, she worked. Didn't peddle it. Or kept it to herself, didn't tell me. Hester and the Boss? Sure, if they want to. Told her so, bang. Have fun, I told her."

"Mmm . . . Thomas Cattus, let's give them a chance. Or six chances. Might be insurance for us, later."

He nodded thoughtfully. "Smart thinking, p.u.s.s.y Cat. But how? And would he? The Boss?"

"I feel sure he would if he knew it was safe. Private, I mean; Jake has courage under fire, just as you have, dear. Main problem is to get Eve out from underfoot. Mmm . . . you could take me shopping or such and I could ask Hester to get Mr. Salomon's lunch . . . then as an afterthought I could invite Eve to come with me. Hmm?"

"With either Fred or Ski up here? No good, p.u.s.s.y Cat."

"All it needs is a time when you have the guard. Jake won't send for your relief; at most he'll lock open the lift door. He doesn't worry about him him, he worries about guarding me me."

"Mmm . . . roz. Could work if he wants it. You're filling out, p.u.s.s.y Cat. t.i.ts prettier than ever."

"Joe says a woman gets prettier as she bigs out. But I don't think many men think so."

"Hester looked awful cute, clear up to the last minute. And on you it looks good, too. Uh . . . you're sure the Boss is asleep?"

"Certain enough that I'm willing to risk it. But I don't don't mean to scare you, dear. Want to wait and see how our plans for Jake and Hester work out?" mean to scare you, dear. Want to wait and see how our plans for Jake and Hester work out?"

"Uh . . . oh, h.e.l.l, we might all be dead by then."

"Right here?"

"Uh, copter might cruise by."

"Let's go into the lanai."

27.

Harvard University Corporation voted to withhold all funds until the Student Government selected a new university president. Both of the rival student governments and the faculty senate sought court relief from this "reckless and irresponsible action." CONS BEST COPS SEZ FUZZ PREZ-the General Secretary of the Private Police, Guards, and Security Drivers (AFL) at its annual banquet congratulated Milwaukee on joining the growing list of munic.i.p.alities that had abolished the "clean record" rule in hiring peace officers. "The outstanding success of parolees and probationers as licensed private security officers is finally teaching the politicians to 'hunt ducks where the ducks are.' The Bible says 'To catch a thief you set a thief,' don't it? Who knows more about hoods than a hood? Give a man incentives to keep his nose clean and put him on work he understands and you can count on him in the crunch. My Mom kept telling me that when I was just a punk knockin' over candy stores. Besides, like the Sec'etary of the Treasury told us earlier tonight, 'Look 'Look what it's done for the economy!' In this what it's done for the economy!' In this great great republic-" republic-"

"Today's Day" newscast interviewed a midwife who claimed to have delivered Miss Molly Maguire of child ten days before before her sensational two-nation sky dive. The sensie star promptly sued newscaster, station, and videonet. her sensational two-nation sky dive. The sensie star promptly sued newscaster, station, and videonet.

EQUAL RIGHTS FOR WOMEN!!!Don't be teased or humiliated. See his look of surprise when you step right up to a urinal and use it with a smile. Get Dr. Mary Evers' EQUAL-NOW Adapter (pat. appld. for)-purse-size, foolproof, sanitary-comes in nine lovely, feminine, psychedelic patterns-requires no fitting, no prescription.All Drugstores/Supermarkets The Lunar Commission made permanent its trial policy of screening out-migration solely on physical and mental examination with no percentage points either plus or minus from past record. The Director said: "In a new world a man must start with a clean slate. No other policy is practical." Under sharp questioning he admitted that contributions for unsubsidized vocations remained unchanged but insisted that this was a fiscal matter controlled by the condominium governments and in no way affected the basic principle. HOT WORDS IN CAP-PUN DEBATE: " '-does not deter!' So he tells us. Is the Senator from the great State of Puerto Rico aware that our major problem is recidivism? Can the Senator cite one case one case in which a killer committed still another murder in which a killer committed still another murder after after he was executed?" he was executed?"

"Whee! Joe, see how she runs before the wind!" Joe, see how she runs before the wind!"

"Swell."

"Gets me clear down in my gizzard," Joan Eunice said happily. "Let's go aft. Winnie's got the wheel and be sure to be impressed; she's proud as can be that Tom has let her go on the watch list. She's a natural sailor, salt water in her veins. Gigi, what's the matter, dear? You aren't smiling. Feeling queasy?"

"Uh, a little, maybe."

"I must admit that the 'p.u.s.s.y Cat' does have a rockinghorse motion when she's running free. Love it myself but some don't. Never mind, dear; Doctor Roberto has a surefire pill for tipsy tummy. I'll fetch you one and in five minutes the motion won't bother you and you'll be hungry as a horse."

"I don't take pills, Joan. I'm all right."

"You aren't all right and when we go below you won't want lunch and Hester told me she was fixing something special in your honor. Look, darling, Roberto feeds these pills to Winnie Winnie-one before breakfast every day and he had her on them for morning sickness before they came aboard. He's a careful doctor, hon; he wouldn't give them to his own wife if they could hurt. n.o.body ever gets a pill of any sort in the 'p.u.s.s.y Cat' unless our s.h.i.+p's surgeon dispenses it. Pretty please? Huh?"

"Gigi."

"Yes, Joe."

"Take pill."

"Yes, Joe. Thanks, Joan, I do feel fluttery. I guess you think I'm silly but I've seen so many kids hooked on pills I'm scared of 'em."

"I don't like pills but I take 'em when Doctor Roberto says to. He's got me on supplements right now for this little monster inside me. You stay up here in the breeze, dear, while I find Roberto."

" 'Sailing, sailing, over the bounding main!' " Mr. Jacob Salomon bellowed, as he swung up into the control console. "Morning, Ski."

"Good morning, Captain. On port tack with basic course one five-"

"I see what it is. Beat it down below and get your breakfast." Salomon slid into the saddle and glanced at the compa.s.s as he took the wheel. "We didn't leave you anything but you can scrounge s.h.i.+p's biscuit out of the lifeboat."

"Hester won't let me starve, sir."