The Shifter Part 10

EIGHT.

The League had never looked so mean mean.

Like an arched cat, hissing and spitting. A bold crab, claws at the ready. A mama croc, guarding a nest full of eggs. And I was the one about to poke it with a stick.

I tugged my damp scarf down over my hair and drifted into the people flowing toward League Circle in the softly falling rain.

The main door loomed ahead. Had it always been so high? So wide? It swallowed me with a half dozen others, and we milled in the antechamber. The usual shafts of late-afternoon suns.h.i.+ne from the dome's windows were nothing more than pale gray light today, veiled by the rain. Bleak light. Bleak mood. Bleak chances.

But not as bleak as Tali's if I couldn't get her out.

I held my breath past the soldiers, but none looked at me. I waded through the battered and bruised people hoping for heals, not one of them aware that if the League let them in, it would cause some poor apprentice more pain than she could handle. If screaming the truth would've saved anyone, I might have hollered to the cliffs, but I'd had enough reminders lately of what desperate people were willing to do.

Slinking right, I headed down the hall toward Tali's room. A dark-haired League guard leaned against the doorframe, looking bored. His interest kindled as I approached.

"Excuse me," he said, "but this area is restricted."

In the eternal pause between heartbeats, I mustered my best smile and most of the confidence I'd faked at Aylin's. "I know, and thank you for keeping my room safe." I almost winked, but it might have come off looking like a nervous tic.

"You live here?"

"Since last Moedsday." I took a step to pa.s.s, but he moved and blocked my way. Did all guards have broad shoulders? Must be all that rapier thrusting. "Can I go now? I'm already late for rounds."

"I don't recognize you."

"I'm new." I tossed my head so the beaded braids slid over my shoulder.

He hesitated, his jaw working as if chewing it over. "Where's your uniform?"

"In my room." Oh, for the love of Saint Saea, all that work and I was going to fail here? here? Tali deserved better than a sister with a half-simmered plan. Tali deserved better than a sister with a half-simmered plan.

"So you went out earlier?"

"Exactly."

He smirked like he had me. "Then why didn't I see you leave? I came on this morning-early, and I've been here all day."

My mind flailed faster than a spooked chicken's feet. "I wanted to watch the sun rise" wouldn't work. Why would a girl be out before light? At least an apprentice girl-an ordinary girl would- "Listen." I stepped in close and glanced around as if looking for Elders. Which I was, but not for the reason I wanted him to think. "I didn't come home last night," I lied. "This boy I know lost his mother in the ferry accident and needed comforting." All dressed up, I looked old enough to go sneaking off to meet a boy. I hoped.

He stared back for three agonizing heartbeats; then a sly smile cracked his face. He looked me up and down and nodded. "Be careful with that. The mentors'll boot you if they catch you."

"They won't catch me." Saints willing.

"Hurry up then." He stepped aside, and I forced myself not to run all the way to Tali's room.

I ducked inside and collapsed on her bed. The shakes started, and it took me a good five minutes to get my courage back. Should've taken less time with so many reminders of Tali all around me, but being in a room she might never see again scared me more than any guard I'd ever crossed.

Nerves finally steadied if not calmed, I stripped out of Aylin's dress and into Tali's white uniform. It was too short, and tight around the waist and hips, but the green vest hid it well enough. I folded Aylin's things and hid them in a drawer in case anyone looked into the room.

I left, trying hard not to sneak, and strolled toward the treatment ward. After a few odd stares from various first and second cords, I picked up the pace. An apprentice late for rounds wouldn't be strolling.

The general treatment ward looked just as I remembered as a child, when I'd helped Mama on her rounds. I hadn't done much-held some towels or small bowls of warm water for cleaning up blood-but I'd felt important. It was the life I'd hoped to have, back before I discovered my dreams were hopeless. The room looked smaller now, maybe 'cause I was bigger. Beds were arranged in neat rows with gauzy curtains hung between them for privacy. Most of the folks who came here were mildly injured or sick, or couldn't pay as much as a full healing required. The rich and the really hurt ones were taken to private rooms.

I turned and headed that way, sweat dampening the hairs along my neck. I hadn't been in one of those those rooms since Papa died, killed by one of the Duke's soldiers a few months before the war ended. Mama had tried to save him, but by the time the other soldiers in his unit had gotten him to the League, he was gone. No one ever told us where Mama died; they just returned her in a box, like some unwanted gift. Baseeri men were running the League by then, helping to squash the last of our rebellion. rooms since Papa died, killed by one of the Duke's soldiers a few months before the war ended. Mama had tried to save him, but by the time the other soldiers in his unit had gotten him to the League, he was gone. No one ever told us where Mama died; they just returned her in a box, like some unwanted gift. Baseeri men were running the League by then, helping to squash the last of our rebellion.

Closed doors lined a hall almost as intimidating as the Sanctuary. At the end, wide stairs spiraled up and into shadows. I grabbed the copper handrail and took a step closer to where I hoped Tali would be.

"You there!"

I froze, fingers tight against the cold metal, then took another step. Maybe he wasn't talking to me.

"Apprentice! Get down here-you're needed in the ward."

I turned, mouth open, but couldn't think of a single believable reason to refuse. A short, bald man with six gold cords on one shoulder and two silver ones on the other stared at me. A Heal Master.

"Now, girl." He folded his arms across his chest. "We have injured waiting."

Saints save me! I walked over, and he took me by the back of the neck. Not hard, but like someone used to herding disobedient apprentices around. He guided me back into the general treatment ward and stopped between rows of beds. Four beds had people on them, some sitting, some lying down, all injured.

"What's the first step in determining an injury?" He spoke in a teacher's voice, and probably wouldn't take kindly to me answering wrong.

I swallowed, but my mouth was dry. "You, uh..." My hands hovered over the woman on the bed. Well-dressed despite the rips and bloodstains on her clothes.

The Heal Master's toe started tapping.

"You put one hand on the head and one on the heart, to feel the extent of the injury."

He nodded and the tapping stopped. "Go on."

I glanced down at the patient. She was awake, and though her eyes were gla.s.sy and unfocused, she didn't look too badly hurt. I placed my hands on her and sensed around inside, like Tali had taught me. "Bruised ribs and skull, no breaks."

"Any bleeds?"

Bleeds? Tali'd never taught me how to feel for bleeds. "I, uh, can't tell."

"Did you pay any any attention in cla.s.s?" attention in cla.s.s?"

He put his hands over mine. A faint tingle slid through me, pa.s.sing into the woman underneath. The bruises became brighter, sharper in my mind. Then something else, a dark spark, like spots behind your lids after you stared at the sun too long.

"Do you see it? There, along the base of the cranium?"

I did. "Yes."

His hands pulled away, and the spot dimmed. I reached for the spot again, and it blazed. A guilty giddiness bubbled in my chest. Tali learned things like this every day. Real healing.

"Are there any others?" The Heal Master sounded pleased, and I almost smiled.

"I don't see any."

"Then proceed."

"What?"

His disappointed frown returned. "Heal the patient. Internal bleeds are closed same as external."

He really wanted me to heal! I could run, but then I'd never get back in, never find Tali. He'd stared at my face long enough to know me if he saw me again. Since I had to pa.s.s right through his domain to get back to the stairs, he'd sure as sugar see me at least once more.

I moved my hands over her ribs and drew drew. Then to her head. Closed the small bleed at the base of her skull but left the bruising. The bleed would have killed her, but she could live with a headache for a few days.

"Done." I pulled my hands away, my head and ribs throbbing a little.

He put his hands back, then frowned at me again. I cringed. "You missed one."

"Sorry." I took the bruise, accepted the shame. If I'd really been an apprentice, would he have kicked me out of the League for such a mistake? Probably not.

It didn't matter. If I had had belonged here, I wouldn't have left the bruise in the first place. I'd have been eager to prove my worth, and to impress him I would have mentioned the knuckleburn I sensed starting around her hands and toes. belonged here, I wouldn't have left the bruise in the first place. I'd have been eager to prove my worth, and to impress him I would have mentioned the knuckleburn I sensed starting around her hands and toes.

But I didn't belong and never would. For the first time in my life, it didn't hurt to say that. If I belonged, I'd be locked in a room somewhere with Tali and no one to help either of us.

"Now, what about this gentleman?" The Heal Master took my elbow and led me to the next bed. I didn't need to touch the patient to see both arms were broken. I couldn't help carry Tali with aching arms.

"I can't."

"Can't?" His eyebrows arched higher than the windows. "Are you refusing to heal a patient?"

An apprentice at the next bed jerked up and stared at me, horror clear on his pockmarked face. He sure didn't know what was going on here or he wouldn't be so quick to judge.

"No, I...um...I..." Couldn't stay there because I had to save my sister. Not something that would get me out of this or help Tali. "I don't feel well."

The apprentice glared, his spiky black hair puffed around him like a sooty dandelion. The Heal Master flicked his hands out as if he'd had enough of me. I could only hope.

"A Healer's job is to heal, girl-otherwise you're just a useless Taker, fit for nothing but filling some half-pure pynvium spoon with pain. I know it's scary, and it hurts, but if you want to make your first cord, you'd better remember what we endure to help others. Or maybe you're not strong enough to mend bone?" He said it like a challenge. I bet it worked on the boys every time, chased away their fear so they could do their jobs.

"I, uh..." Two Elders walked in, each scanning the room like soldiers on watch.

The Heal Master grabbed my hands. I gasped, and a cold tingle s.h.i.+vered all over my body. He harrumphed and let me go, but a flicker of appreciation flashed in his eyes. "You're plenty strong. You could make a good life for yourself here if you wanted it."

Words I'd wanted to hear my whole life, only now they had no value.

One of the Elders walked over, and my heart stuck in my throat. It was the same one I'd kicked when I was Merlaina. "Problems, Heal Master Ginkev?"

"Oh, no, not at all," The Heal Master twitched and flashed an uncertain smile. "First-time jitters, I think."

"She refused to heal the patient, Elder sir," the apprentice said, b.u.t.ting his pointy Baseeri nose in where it didn't belong.

"Refused?" The Elder glanced at me, then doubled back and stared. "What's your name?"

"Tatsa." It wasn't really a name, but an old swear Grannyma used to use when we'd jump out at her from behind the furniture. Said it came over with her her grannyma from the mountain folk. grannyma from the mountain folk.

He peered closer.

Saint Saea, please don't let him recognize me.

"Refusing to heal a patient is grounds for expulsion," he said at last.

"I, uh..." Still couldn't figure out what to say. I had some pain now. I could hit them, run up the stairs, grab Tali, carry her out past guards and Elders and Heal Masters. Please, who was I kidding?

"Oh, I'm sure once she sees there's nothing to fear, she'll be fine." The Heal Master patted my shoulder and tried to turn me away. What color had his his hair been before it fell out? I'd bet anything it wasn't black. "Don't want to push her too fast." hair been before it fell out? I'd bet anything it wasn't black. "Don't want to push her too fast."

"No?"

The Heal Master hesitated. "No, not one to waste here."

A smile slithered across the Elder's face. "So she's strong?"

Even my hair wanted to scream.

"She's, um..." He looked at me and gulped. "She's quite strong. But untrained," he added quickly.

"Perhaps I've been too hasty," the Elder oozed. "I'll reconsider your expulsion if you help us with a high-priority heal. Refuse, and you're expelled from the League. Out on the street street."

An effective threat, if I was really an apprentice. Even a first cord would say yes and be thankful for the second chance. A job, food, and a room were too hard to come by to throw away out of fear. Of course, a real apprentice wouldn't know what that second chance really meant. I didn't have much of a choice. Tali once said high-priority heals took place "upstairs," and she'd rolled her eyes afterward, like mere apprentices weren't good enough to go "upstairs."

I guess that that had changed. had changed.

Saying yes would get me upstairs, but if this heal was as bad as the little girl, it could fill me with so much pain I couldn't help Tali. Saying no would get me thrown out, and there was no guarantee that I could get back in. My best chance to save her was to do it now, but it would be a huge huge risk. risk.

The Elder flashed a cat's grin. "Choose wisely."

Two impossible words.

NINE.

"Are you a Healer or not?"

Is it worth the risk or not?

"I'm a Healer," I said, not bothering to hide the tremor in it. Scared was good. Scared meant pliable, and Elders liked pliable.