The Shifter Part 27

He gaped, obviously caught off guard, then nodded. "There are records."

"Does Zertanik have any of that stolen pynvium here?"

"Yes. I found some when you were asleep."

"I need it. Plus the names and addresses of those I s.h.i.+fted into. I want to leave as soon as Tali gets here."

To his credit, he didn't even hesitate. "I'll get it. And I'll see if I can find anything for you to wear."

"Thanks." I shouldn't trust him, but I wanted to. I needed to. He'd had no reason to keep my name a secret before, but he had. He could have taken me right to the Governor-General when I was unconscious, but he'd hidden me away.

He brought me clothes and showed me to a washroom to change. Zertanik's home was just as opulent as his office. How much of it had been stolen? Or was it all just purchased with stolen wealth?

As I was combing out the last of my fake Healer's braid, voices drifted in through the door. Very demanding voices. I left the washroom and headed for the sunroom.

"...to know where my sister is!" Tali was yelling as I walked in. Aylin and Danello were with her, but I didn't see Soek.

"Nya!" Tali raced to me, and once again, we were all hugging and laughing and crying. Jeatar didn't stare, just watched with a sad smile on his face. He lifted a hand and scratched the back of his neck, and his too-large sleeve slid back, revealing a long scar on his inner forearm.

Just like his chest.

I chilled at the memory and tried not to look at him. I work for the Duke, but that doesn't mean I follow him I work for the Duke, but that doesn't mean I follow him. How had he earned those scars? Had he faced Baseeri blue and lost, just like we had?

"Where's Soek?" I asked. "Looters didn't hurt him, did they?"

"He's fine," said Aylin. "He guarded my room just like he said he would. The Governor-General wants to question all the apprentices, so he went with some soldiers. Soek's telling him what the Luminary did." She held out her hands as I started to speak. "And no, he's not going to say one word about you. He promised."

"What happened, Nya?" Tali said. "You vanished just as we were about to escape. Then Jeatar shows up and we think we're under arrest, but he hides us and then there was a huge noise and stuff started falling from the ceiling. They're saying the Luminary is dead!"

I winced. "There's no time to explain. We have people we need to heal."

"What people?"

I pulled Tali toward the door. Jeatar had dropped a sack next to it.

"Danello, grab that sack, please. It's full of pynvium."

"Pynvium?" He looked puzzled but picked it up as asked.

Jeatar handed me a list. "The fisherman's name is at the top."

"Thanks." I dragged Tali out of the room and headed for the front entrance. Danello and Aylin followed, both asking questions I wished I could ignore.

"Is the Luminary really dead?" Tali whispered.

I shoved open the door and blinked in the late-afternoon sun. How long had I'd been asleep? Hours at least. "He is."

"How?"

I didn't want to tell them, shouldn't tell them. They were safer not knowing, but I'd kept so many secrets, told so many lies, and I didn't want to do it anymore.

"They told me if I didn't help them steal the Slab, they'd kill you and all the apprentices."

Gasps all around. Not about killing the apprentices-that wasn't new-but stealing the Slab was. A Slab full of pain was worth almost as much as an empty one.

I glanced at the League's spires in the distance, hazy behind the smoke. It was faint now, which hopefully meant the fires were almost out. I could barely see the League above the rooftops, but one section did look broken away, as if something with lots of teeth had taken a large bite out of it.

"Nya?" Danello said. "What happened?" happened?"

"Hmm? Oh, they wanted me to empty it, and they planned to melt it into smaller bricks to sell."

"I don't understand," said Aylin. "What does this have to do with hurting the apprentices?"

"Nothing."

"Nya," Tali said, yanking her hand from mine. She stopped and shoved both fists on her hips. "For the love of Saint Saea, what is going on? I'm not moving an inch until you explain."

I bit my lip. I didn't like it, but I guessed it was time to tell them everything. How I'd gotten the pynvium. What I had done to Zertanik and the Luminary. And most of all, the truth I didn't want to face.

I was immune to flashed pain.

"Well, Nya?" Tali asked.

I turned around. This was not not going to be easy. going to be easy.

TWENTY-FOUR.

"So I told him I'd be delighted to empty it for him, and I flashed it." I finished, then held my breath. There were few people in the street outside Zertanik's, and no one even bothered to glance at us as they pa.s.sed. I guess the rich folks were staying locked up tight until the riots were over.

"Wow," Danello said, too softly for me to tell how he felt about the whole mess. "It didn't kill you?"

"No."

"So you're...?"

"Yeah."

"Wow."

Aylin wasn't so impressed. "You helped helped a pain merchant hurt people?" a pain merchant hurt people?"

"I didn't. I healed them-"

"You gave their pain to people when you knew knew it would kill them." She glared at me, and I felt sick all over again. "You it would kill them." She glared at me, and I felt sick all over again. "You knew knew, and you did it anyway."

Her shock hurt, but she was right. After seeing what it had done to Danello, I had had known, and I'd done it anyway. I guess this known, and I'd done it anyway. I guess this was was different. It was so hard to tell anymore. different. It was so hard to tell anymore.

"You wanted to die?" Tali said incredulously. "You were going to leave me all alone?"

I shook my head. "No! I just-I don't know-I didn't see any other way to stop them." I could have done as they asked and gotten rich from it. Part of me had wanted to say yes. Really Really wanted to, and live again as we once had. It hurt to admit that, but I couldn't ignore it any longer. wanted to, and live again as we once had. It hurt to admit that, but I couldn't ignore it any longer.

"It's what Grannyma would have done," I said.

Tali pursed her lips, thinking it over the same way Mama always had, and nodded. "She would have."

"I think she's a hero," said Danello as if daring Aylin to disagree. He looked a lot like his little brother had while demanding I give him his da's pain. "She was willing to sacrifice her life to save us all, just like our parents did."

"Danello," said Aylin, "those people were innocent."

"They would have done it even if they'd known."

Aylin folder her arms and scoffed. "You don't know that."

"Yes I do, because I I would have done it. I had her give me pain before she s.h.i.+fted to save my da. I knew what I was diving into, and it wouldn't have mattered if it would have killed me. I'd still have taken the risk to save my da." would have done it. I had her give me pain before she s.h.i.+fted to save my da. I knew what I was diving into, and it wouldn't have mattered if it would have killed me. I'd still have taken the risk to save my da."

Aylin didn't answer, but her angry scowl softened and she looked away.

Danello continued, softer as well. "And now you're trying to save them, aren't you, Nya?"

"I am, honest. I always planned to, I just didn't have enough time or pynvium to save everyone who needed saving."

"See?" he said to Aylin.

"You had a choice-they didn't," she mumbled, but she looked even more unsure. "It's not the same."

"It is," Tali said before I could reply. "Those people made a choice to go to Nya. Grannyma always said, she who has a choice has trouble. Sometimes your choices aren't good ones, but you have to choose something something. None of us was there. We didn't have to choose between our family's lives and a bunch of Baseeri aristocrats. We didn't have to face any any of the choices Nya faced, and Danello's the only one who faced what those folks she s.h.i.+fted to did. It's not fair to judge her for choices we didn't have to make." of the choices Nya faced, and Danello's the only one who faced what those folks she s.h.i.+fted to did. It's not fair to judge her for choices we didn't have to make."

"I'm not judging her," Aylin said quickly.

"Aren't you?" Danello said.

Aylin opened her mouth, then closed it. Her cheeks flushed and she sighed. "I'm sorry, Nya." She took a deep breath and pushed her hair out of her eyes. "You're right, I wasn't there. And even when I saw you were really upset, I didn't do too much to help. Maybe if I had pushed harder, you wouldn't have had to s.h.i.+ft into anyone."

"Thank you," I whispered. Maybe things would would be okay. Maybe I hadn't dropped as far as I'd feared. be okay. Maybe I hadn't dropped as far as I'd feared.

"I'm sorry I doubted you."

Danello took my hand. "Didn't you say we had lives to save?"

We hurried to a small boardinghouse near the fis.h.i.+ng docks. The hall was cramped with the four of us standing there, but no one wanted to wait outside alone. I knocked, and a boy about twelve answered, his eyes red and puffy. My throat caught, and I couldn't speak. Danello leaned forward.

"We're here to heal your father."

The boy choked back a sob and shook his head. "You're too late. He died this morning, right after the sun come up."

I sank to my knees and cried.

TWENTY-FIVE.

Danello carried me out. No matter how hard I tried, my legs wouldn't listen. Nor would my eyes. They kept spilling tears, kept seeing the fisherman.

"It's okay, Nya." Danello rubbed my back in small circles. "We tried. There's nothing else we could have done."

Aylin was right. I should have said no. I should have refused to s.h.i.+ft into him.

Murmurs of sympathy washed over me, nothing more than empty phrases of encouragement. They all knew I'd killed him. He'd still be alive if I'd told Zertanik no.

Tali knelt and held my face in her hands. No words yet from her. She probably hated me, never wanted to see me again for trading his life for hers.

"Nya, sitting here bawling isn't going to help anyone."

I blinked at her matter-of-fact tone, unable to answer.

"There are other people we have to heal," she continued. "People who gave those they loved a chance to survive. How many would have died if you hadn't hadn't s.h.i.+fted to the fisherman?" s.h.i.+fted to the fisherman?"

I sniffled. "I dunno. Lots."

"Then get up off your b.u.t.t and don't make his sacrifice be for nothing. What's done is done...." She let it trail away. It was up to me to finish it. Finish everything.

"And I can't change it none."

"Just like Grannyma said."

Danello helped me to my feet. "Don't give up now, Nya."

I almost started crying again. "Let's go. I don't want to lose another one."

It was like that night in Zertanik's, only in reverse. The Jonalis, with four uncles holding the pain of two broken legs. Kestra Novaik, holding her son's crushed shoulder. An anonymous young lady who took pain from the brothers Fontuno. Her name was Silena, and we barely made it in time. Danello had to kick in the door, and we found her alone, her blood so thick, I was shocked it flowed through her veins at all.

I watched Tali heal them. Pull their pain away and fill the pynvium. Do what I couldn't do. I kept picturing the fisherman with his hat in his hands, begging me to help save his family. Zertanik tricking me into helping him. Jeatar warning me to keep quiet. After a while, it all tumbled together into one voice. Please, miss. The Duke doesn't have a weapon like you in his a.r.s.enal Please, miss. The Duke doesn't have a weapon like you in his a.r.s.enal.

How long would it be before the Duke found out I existed? I wouldn't s.h.i.+ft or flash for him. I couldn't hurt anyone like that again. Three had died, and my soul couldn't bear any more. I'd run if I had to, leave Geveg and travel south beyond the Three Territories and out of the Duke's control. Go across the mountains and see if I could find the mountain folk Grannyma always told us about.