You Can Win Part 18

What we really want to accomplish is self-motivation, when people do things for their own reasons and not yours. That is lasting motivation.

Remember, the greatest motivator is belief. We have to inculcate in ourselves the belief that we are responsible for our actions and behavior. When people accept responsibility, everything improves: quality, productivity, relations.h.i.+ps and teamwork.

A few steps to motivate others:

Give recognition Give respect Make work interesting Be a good listener Throw a challenge Help but don't do for others what they should do for themselves

People do things for their own reasons, not yours. This is ill.u.s.trated by a story about Ralph Waldo Emerson. He and his son once were struggling to get a calf into the barn.

Both father and son were exhausted, pulling and pus.h.i.+ng. A little girl was pa.s.sing by and she sweetly put her little finger into the calf's mouth and the calf lovingly followed her to the barn.

ACTION PLAN.

1. Develop a sense of pride through training.

2. Reward performance.

3. Set well-defined, clear goals.

4. Set high expectations.

4. Set clear, measurable benchmarks.

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6. Evaluate the needs of others.

7. Make others part of your big picture. Set a good example by being a positive role model.

Build the self-esteem of others.

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CHAPTER 4.

SELF-ESTEEM.

Building a positive self-esteem & image

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A beggar was sitting at the train station with a bowl full of pencils. A young executive pa.s.sed by and dropped a dollar in the bowl. He then boarded the train. Before the doors closed, something came to his mind and he went back to the beggar, grabbed a bunch of pencils, and said, "They are priced right. After all you are a business person and so am I," and he left.

Six months later, the executive attended a party. The beggar was also there in a suit and tie. The beggar recognized the executive, went up to him and said, "You probably don't recognize me but I remember you." He then narrated the incident that happened six months before. The executive said, "Now that you have reminded me, I do recall that you were begging. What are you doing here in your suit and tie?" The beggar replied, "You probably don't know what you did for me that day. You were the first person in my life who gave me back my dignity. You grabbed the bunch of pencils and said, 'They are priced right. After all, you are a business person and so am 1.' After you left, I thought to myself, what am I doing here? Why am I begging? I decided to do something constructive with my life. I packed my bag, started working and here I am. I Just want to thank you for giving me back my dignity. That incident changed my life."

What changed in the beggar's life?

What changed was that his self-esteem went up and so did his performance. This is the magic of self-esteem in our lives.

Simply put, self-esteem is how we feel about ourselves. Our opinion of ourselves critically influences everything, from our performance at work, our relations.h.i.+ps, and our role as a parent to our accomplishments in life. Self esteem is a major component in determining success or failure. High self-esteem leads to a happy, gratifying and purposeful life.

Unless you perceive yourself as worthwhile, you cannot have high self-esteem. All great world leaders and teachers throughout history have concluded that one must be internally driven in order to be a success.

We transfer our unconscious self-appraisal to others and they respond to us accordingly.

People with high self-esteem grow in conviction, competence and willingness to accept responsibility. They face life with optimism, have better relations.h.i.+ps and fulfilling lives.

They are motivated and ambitious. They are more sensitive. Their performance and risk- taking ability go up. They are open to new opportunities and challenges. They can give and receive criticism and compliments, tactfully, and with ease.

Self-esteem is a feeling which comes from an awareness of what is good and having done it.

Self-Esteem is Our Self-Concept

There is a story about a farmer who planted pumpkins on his land. For no reason, he put a small pumpkin, hanging by the vine into a gla.s.s jar.

At harvest time, he saw that the pumpkin had grown, equivalent only to the shape and size of the jar. Just as the pumpkin could not grow beyond the boundaries restricting it, human beings cannot perform beyond the boundaries of their self-concept, whatever it may be.

SOME ADVANTAGES OF HIGH SELF-ESTEEM.

75*There is a direct relations.h.i.+p between people's feelings and their productivity. High self- esteem is evident in respect for one's self, others, property, law, parents and one's country. The reverse is also true.

76*Self-esteem :

Builds strong conviction.

Creates willingness to accept responsibility.

Builds optimistic att.i.tudes.

Leads to better relations.h.i.+ps and fulfilling lives.

Makes a person more sensitive to others' needs and develop a caring att.i.tude.

Makes a person self-motivated and ambitious.

Makes a person open to new opportunities and challenges.

Improves performance and increases risk-taking ability.

Helps a person give and receive both criticism and compliments tactfully and easily.

How do we recognize poor self-esteem? What are the behavior patterns of a person with poor self-esteem? The following is a brief list, which is not all inclusive but is indicative.

They are generally gossip mongers.