Plain Talks on Avoided Subjects Part 2

The agony of breaking off a habit which so rapidly entwines itself with every fibre of the human frame (as s.e.xual indulgence) is such that it would not be too much to say in the Wise Man's words, '_None_ that go to her return again, neither take they hold on the paths of life.'"

"The sin, of all, most sure to blight-- The sin, of all, that the soul's light Is soonest lost, extinguished in."

Remember then that s.e.xual suffering comes to the _incontinent_ man, and that it is far easier, even for the fully developed vigorous adult, to continue in control of these feelings, than when they have been once excited and indulged.

One single impure connection may entail a whole life of syphilitic suffering on the unhappy transgressor. Would this "pay?"

No inducement could persuade me to a.s.sume the awful responsibilities of advising illicit intercourse. Apart from Christian principle, I know that there is no necessity, physiological, pathological or any other, that can excuse any physician for saying that the Seventh Commandment may ever be broken. My sentiments on the physiological side of the question are so admirably expressed by Acton,[F] that I will here quote from him.

[F] Fourth American Edition, P. 97.

"One argument in favor of incontinence deserves special notice, as it purports to be founded on physiology. I have been consulted by persons who feared, or professed to fear, that if the organs were not exercised regularly, they would become atrophied, or that in some way impotence might be the result of chast.i.ty. This is the a.s.signed reason for committing fornication. There exists _no greater_ error than this, or one more opposed to physiological truth. In the first place, I may state that I have, after many years' experience, never seen a single instance of atrophy of the generative organs from this cause. I have, it is true, met with the complaint--but in what cla.s.s of cases does it occur? It arises in all instances from the exactly opposite cause--abuse: the organs become worn out, and hence arises atrophy. Physiologically considered, it is not a fact that the power of secreting s.e.m.e.n is annihilated in well-formed adults leading a healthy life and yet remaining continent. The function goes on in the organ always, from p.u.b.erty to old age. s.e.m.e.n is secreted sometimes slowly, sometimes quickly, and very frequently under the influence of the will. No continent man need be deterred by this apocryphal fear of atrophy of the testes from living a chaste life. It is a device of the unchaste--a lame excuse for their own incontinence, unfounded on any physiological law.

The testes will take care that their action is not interfered with."

Many and many a time have I heard it regretted and bemoaned, on account of the many troubles they had seemed to cause, that the s.e.xual organs exist. It is the lewd thoughts and uses to which they are put that causes all this misery, and there is always that "first thought" which should not be harbored. Cast away the impure thoughts, rise above them, and one is safe! Pure thoughts can _never_ lead to harm.

The generative organs, with their functions and uses, are most closely interwoven with the highest destiny and well being of the race physically, mentally and spiritually; they are a part of us, without which there would be no men and women, lovers and loved ones, fathers and mothers, brothers and sisters. We must then happily accept the situation as it is, and our bodies, parts and pa.s.sions as they are; for they are all indispensable, high and holy, when kept in an orderly and chaste condition. We only need the above knowledge and its application to make ourselves as happy in the enjoyment of these organs as it was designed by our Creator that we should be.

To rise above the s.e.xual temptations that may be more or less experienced by many and perhaps by all, requires an effort of course, and frequently a very great effort; but let it be borne in mind that all temptations to do wrong, require effort to overcome them; and as a rule, the greater the evil we are tempted to commit the greater is the effort needed to overcome it. Now, as shown above, since s.e.xual matters are so thoroughly interwoven with the highest destinies of the human race, physically, mentally and spiritually, there is scarcely any function of higher import, allotted to any individual, than that a.s.signed to the genital organs. No function more deeply concerns the healthfulness of the body, the clearness and brilliancy of the intellect, or the purity and sincerity of the soul itself.

Several times in the course of this book I have referred to the term "abuse." By "abuse," I mean precisely what _Lallemand_ so forcibly expresses as follows: "_I understand by the term abuse, when applied to the organs of generation, any irregular or premature exercise of their functions; any application of them which cannot have, as its result, the propagation of the species._"

Look at the habitual masturbator! See how thin, pale and haggard he appears; how his eyes are sunken; how long and cadaverous is his cast of countenance; how irritable he is and how sluggish, mentally and physically; how afraid he is to meet the eye of his fellows; feel his damp and chilling hand, so characteristic of great vital exhaustion.

Taken as a cla.s.s, how terrible are their lost virility, their miserable night's sleep, their convulsions and their shrunken limbs. They keep by themselves, seeking charm in solitude and are fit companions for no one; they dare not read their Bible, they cannot commune with good angels nor with the Lord, our Saviour. Is not this picture deplorable? It is at the last end of the chain I admit, but it is reached link after link, one at a time; and the first link was forged when the first temptation in the mind was first favored and finally yielded to. The above picture is a true one and shows how intimately connected are the soul, the mind and the body with this whole subject. Man in a healthy state need not and should not lose one drop of seminal fluid by his own hand, by nightly emissions or pollutions, or in any way, until he becomes conjoined to a wife of his choice in the holy bonds of matrimony. Every time the seed of his body is lost in a disorderly or unnatural way, he injures the finest textures of his brain correspondingly, as well as the finest and most exalted condition of his mind and soul, because the act proceeds in its incipiency from a willful prost.i.tution of these higher powers.

When s.e.xual thoughts and temptations arise in one's mind, even very young men are capable of putting them away, urged by the thought that tampering with one's generative organs is wrong. He should intuitively feel that it is something akin to theft, or a crime of some worse sort, for him to indulge in solitary vice and he should intuitively feel an inward reproach for all such meditations. When one is sorely tempted in these matters, as is often the case, let him reflect that he was not created to indulge in such pleasures by himself, and that to do so is a crime, a sin against the G.o.d of Heaven; that it is his destiny, his privilege and one of the uses of his life to share such enjoyments with the wife of his bosom; and that all excitement or dallying with this part of his nature before marriage only serves to weaken his s.e.xual powers, as well as his mind and body; also, that it mars his s.e.xual uses and will detract from his s.e.xual pleasures in the married life. s.e.xual indulgence of any sort in a young man is a loss, not only to himself but also, prospectively, to that dear girl whom he will some day make his wife. Such reflections will often drive away the temptation entirely. If they are not sufficient to do so let him read some interesting book that shall take his mind away from the subject; or, that failing, let him take exercise, vigorous exercise--pushed to fatigue, if necessary. If these states of temptation occur in bed at night, let him rise and read, plunge his arm into very cold water, or if necessary go forth into the open air and seek relief in a rapid walk. It is better to go to any amount of trouble and to endure any physical discomfort, than to sacrifice one's chast.i.ty, the loss of which can never be replaced.

A young man naturally desires and expects chast.i.ty of the strictest order in the young woman of his choice for a wife. Who would marry a girl, no matter how beautiful or how many and varied her accomplishments if it were known that she had granted her favors to any other man? And yet, what less has _she_ a perfect right to require from a young man who presumes to pay his addresses to her? This consideration, too, should serve as a restraint to any amorous desires that might infest a man's mind. It is wonderful how keen are the perceptions of a pure minded young lady to detect even an approach to licentiousness in the male. He is abhorrent to her and his very sphere betrays him.

With the facts of the preceding pages, contained in this chapter being known, it does seem as if every man would keep himself pure from all carnal a.s.sociations and use the utmost care not to prost.i.tute his mind, that he may approach the nuptial altar as pure in mind and body as he would have her who is to become the idol of his heart.

Now this is all very beautiful in theory and desirable in practice, but _is it practical_? Can man so school himself in self denial as to accomplish this end? Are there not real physiological facts existing which utterly preclude the possibility of this most desirable result? Do not, as has been alleged by some writers, the t.e.s.t.i.c.l.es of man secrete s.e.m.e.n until they become so surcharged that emission becomes absolutely necessary, and does not this acc.u.mulation actually produce such s.e.xual excitement that man feels compelled to seek relief in some way? I answer, most unhesitatingly, NO! The above questions are all theories and utterly devoid of fact.

Would Almighty G.o.d command, "Thou shalt _not_ commit adultery," and then so create man as to compel him to break his Divine injunction?

Abundance of proof is at hand to substantiate this sweeping remark of mine, were this the place to produce it. Seminal fluid is abundantly secreted and produced only during the height of s.e.xual excitement in the male. As Acton remarks: "It is a highly organized fluid requiring the expenditure of much vital force in its elaboration and its expulsion."

It is secreted from the blood of his body and the whole man physically, mentally and spiritually is concerned and represented in its product; consequently the action requires an effort of the whole man, and, if often repeated, the effect is very exhausting to the physical powers, to the mind and to the brain. Let this be another warning to remain in purity of heart.

We have said in the preceding pages that man, in a healthy state, need not lose a drop of seminal fluid until after marriage. There are many abnormal causes resulting in what are called wet dreams, nightly pollutions, spermatorrhoea, prostatic emission during stool or urination, also diurnal emissions without erection. These may result from over study, from errors in diet such as use of coffee, highly seasoned food, wines, spirituous liquors or drugs of various kinds--though perhaps prescribed by a physician. When these troubles arise from const.i.tutional disorders, a skillful physician must be consulted at once. Errors in diet and the taking of drugs causing this trouble must of course be discontinued. [G]"Certain medicines--as astringents, purgatives, narcotics, stimulants and diuretics especially--may bring on conditions from which spermatorrhoea may arise." Among other causes Lallemand refers to the use of quinine, tobacco and, particularly _alcohol_. The trouble may also arise from injuries and many other accidental causes, besides masturbation and venereal excesses.

[G] Lallemand and Wilson, page 192.

It is distressing to see what a complete wreck seminal losses make of those who were once robust and healthy young men, and what a shock they give to the nervous system. They become weak, pale, and feeble in mind, while all that was manly and vigorous has gone out of them. Now which of the two is preferable--the pride of a virtuous youth, or the roue exhausted and worn out by s.e.xual abuses? It demands great strength to become either, but really a much greater effort for the latter; because it requires very great perseverance for a chaste and pure minded man to debase himself by such practices. It depends on the mind which is all right before yielding the first point; therefore beware and shun the first step downward. Strengthen the moral courage and exercise the will power so as always to be able to say, "No," to whatever temptation the conscience tells you is wrong.

CHAPTER V.

Adolescence of the Female.

Adolescence of the female embraces the period of life from the age of twelve or fourteen, to twenty-one years.

At about the twelfth or fourteenth year of the girl's life a marked change comes over her form, features and mental state. Unlike the male, the forms which in him are angular, become in her rounded, symmetrical and beautiful, and the characteristic feminine proportions are well marked; she becomes more graceful in her movements, her voice grows sweeter, more mellow, more powerful and capable of registering a higher tone. New feelings and desires are awakened in her mind. Her deportment becomes more commanding and less frivolous, and the girl is lost in the woman.

If she has been so fortunate as to have escaped all the dangers and baneful influences of infantile and childhood life, she is womanly indeed, and we behold her with an unburdened conscience, clear intellect, artless and candid address, good memory, buoyant spirits, a complexion bright, clear and, as the poet declares, "beautiful exceedingly." Every function of her body is well performed, and no fatigue is experienced after moderate exertion. She evinces that elasticity of spirit and gracefulness of body, and happy control of her feelings which indicate healthfulness of both mind and body. Her whole time is given up to her studies, duties and amus.e.m.e.nts; and as she feels her stature increase and her intellect enlarge, she gladly prepares for her coming struggle with the world--though in a manner becoming to her s.e.x. This, too, is no fanciful sketch, but is realized in thousands of cases every year. It is one which parents feel proud to witness in a daughter, and one in which the daughter takes a modest delight. We have said that every function of her body is well performed. The functions of the female body, which in a state of health are perfectly free from pain, are very numerous and, in the four years from fourteen to eighteen, she accomplishes an amount of physiological cell change and growth which Nature does not require of a boy in less than twice that number of years. It is obvious, therefore, that a girl upon whom Nature, for a limited period and for a definite purpose, imposes so great a physiological task, will not have as much power left for the tasks of school as a boy, of whom Nature requires less at the corresponding epoch. The functions of circulation, respiration, digestion, perspiration, nutrition and menstruation, though involuntary, are all important, dependent one upon another, and all develop at the proper time. p.u.b.erty is the proper time for the appearance of menstruation, one of the most important and sacred of her functions. It should not be feared, dreaded or regarded as a nuisance; it forms a part of herself; and she never commands the respect and forbearance of her friends, or even of her enemies, more than when it is known that she is "unwell." It serves in many ways as a blessing to her, rather than an inconvenience.

Let no young girl be alarmed, as, owing to the negligence of her parents or guardians, many are, at the first appearance of this flow of blood from the genital organs. She should keep more quiet than usual, at these times, until the flow disappears, which it will do in a few days. In a state of health these appearances occur every twenty-eight days and the young lady should exercise extreme caution at such times, in avoiding unnecessary fatigue, exposure to cold, getting wet, suddenly cooling off when heated, etc. One of the reasons why so many suffer at this time is due to the want of proper knowledge and care, also for the want of a proper feeling about the matter. I have known young ladies to be guilty of the almost incredible crime of trying to arrest the flow by plugging up the v.a.g.i.n.a and by resorting to other means, that they might attend a dancing party or some pleasure excursion. Such a procedure is sure to be followed by the direst retribution to the offender. Nature never allows her laws to be so trifled with. Some experience a deep mortification on account of this function; some think it a very great inconvenience and a nuisance--an obstacle to their pleasure; others feel unhappy and vexed about it. In truth, every woman should consider it a privilege and should regard menstruation as it really is, a blessing from heaven; and, when rightly performed, a help to lend loveliness to her character, beauty to her expression, music to her voice, and gracefulness to her form and movements.

Mothers or guardians should instruct young girls in good time as to the expected menstrual function and prepare their minds for its advent. They should also be carefully instructed in regard to the external use of water--of its attendant danger, lest they chill themselves sufficiently to arrest this flow, which should continue uninterruptedly until the function is complete. Too many lives have been sacrificed by suppressing the monthly flux; external ablutions should be plentiful, but only sufficient, as in the case of boys, for cleanliness. If menstruation should not become healthfully established at the proper time of age, consult a judicious physician who will see that any abnormal condition, preventing such consummation, is properly removed. "The princ.i.p.al organs of elimination, common to both s.e.xes, are the bowels, kidneys, lungs and skin. A neglect of their functions is punished in each alike. To woman is intrusted the exclusive management of another process of elimination, viz.: the catamenial function. This, using the blood for its channel of operation, performs, like the blood, double duty. It is necessary to ovulation, and to the integrity of every part of the reproductive apparatus; it also serves as a means of elimination for the blood itself. A careless management of this function, at any period of life during its existence, is apt to be followed by consequences that may be serious; but a neglect of it during the epoch of development, that is, from the age of fourteen to eighteen or twenty, not only produces great evil at the time of the neglect, but leaves a large legacy of evil to the future. The system is then peculiarly susceptible; and disturbances of the delicate mechanism we are considering, induced during the catamenial weeks of that critical age by constrained positions, muscular effort, brain work, and all forms of mental and physical excitement, germinate a host of ills."[H]

[H] Clarke: "s.e.x in Education."

Here I must be allowed to protest most solemnly against the use of injections into the v.a.g.i.n.a for the so-called purpose of cleanliness.

v.a.g.i.n.al syringes are constructed and used now by thousands and the sufferings of the human race are increased thereby ten thousand fold proportionately. The v.a.g.i.n.a, like all organs supplied with a mucous membrane, is self-cleansing. Water, or any other fluid thrown into this organ, has a tendency to disorder the mucous follicles, to dry up their secretions and thus prevent the efflux of some of Nature's necessities.

From this cause alone there will be a reaction upon the v.a.g.i.n.al walls, upon the neck of the uterus and the uterus itself; the ovaries also become disordered; the lungs sympathize as well as the throat and bronchial tubes, producing hoa.r.s.eness, hacking cough and a host of troubles following in their train. Nervous headaches of fearful intensity are frequently produced from this unnatural course of procedure. Moreover, water thrown into the v.a.g.i.n.a, to wash it out, day after day for a considerable time, absolutely produces a leucorrhoea most persistent in character. This is the confession of young ladies to me in making inquiry as to the origin of their trouble, and I have found that the discharge was unknown to some of them till after the use of these injections. It stands to reason that such unnatural was.h.i.+ngs should be followed by a retribution equal to the error committed, because, as before stated, Nature's laws cannot be perverted without a penalty. A girl should never, under any pretext whatever, resort to such unhallowed means for the cure or alleviation of leucorrhoea, ulceration, or for any disorders that affect these parts. By so doing she is really forming a basis for innumerable future ills. If the girl is well, she has none of these disorders, for they all arise from const.i.tutional derangements. As all must acknowledge, it is a self-evident fact--that, _if a woman is well, every part of her must be well also_; no one organ can, unaided, get up a disease by itself. In all troubles of this nature, as well as of any other, consult a judicious physician.

There are objections, however, of even a graver nature than those urged above against the use of such instruments. They often excite sensations in the parts to which they are applied, that should remain perfectly dormant in the unmarried state. After awhile these sensations, increasing in frequency and influence, serve to prost.i.tute the mind and the young lady may become ruined for life. I am stating facts that can be proved by mult.i.tudes of living witnesses to-day in cases and confessions that have come under my own observation. On remonstrating against this habit, some remark, "But it feels so nice, doctor!" Of course, ablutions of the _external_ organs are perfectly right and proper and should be resorted to daily. To the reflecting mind no more need be said about this matter. Those who wish to live in harmony with the order of their creation and thereby preserve the freshness of health, will not have recourse to such means as add new derangements to the system.

To preserve feminine charms as the girl develops into womanhood, much depends upon her mental state. She must not allow herself to bear malice towards anyone, must not plot evil or attempt to "pay off others in their own coin," as it is called, or seek revenge in any way; but she must ever cultivate a forgiving disposition, good thoughts and good feelings towards everyone. There is always danger of meeting both rude and lewd girls, and that too in places where least expected; they may be found in schools of all kinds and are occasionally met with in the houses of one's own friends. Not very long since a charming young lady wrote me from a neighboring city, that while sharing a bed with another girl, she experienced a very strange sensation induced by the improper liberties of her bed-fellow; and so persistent were these troublesome sensations, although occupying a bed by herself ever after, she thought it proper to seek my advice. Now this was a good and pure-minded girl who might easily have been ruined but for her inherent love of chast.i.ty; and so our daughters are always in danger of being contaminated. A perfectly pure and chaste mind, unsullied by impure thoughts or acts, and cultivated by the exercise of all the Christian virtues, lends enchantment to the eye, sweetness of expression to the face, music to the voice, and gracefulness of carriage. Cultivation of merely external manners will not do; they must spring from the mind and thence they s.h.i.+ne throughout the whole, in every fibre and movement of the body.

Such an one is truly beloved wherever she goes; she has a real affection for her father and mother, brothers and sisters; and she is fully prepared to appreciate and love one of the opposite s.e.x whose purity of life and n.o.bleness of mind fully corresponds to her own.

To retain this charm of excellence will cost her many a trial and her temptations will be innumerable and very great. But her perceptive faculties are keen, and at the first suspicion of anything wrong she must have the moral courage to say: "No! that is not allowable, it is not right," or, "this is impure and its tendency is to vice." Whatever the temptation may be, in thought or in deed, let no one persuade her into wrong-doing--not even her _apparently_ best friend; for it would only be an appearance of friends.h.i.+p if he tempted to anything of a vicious nature. She will be beset with hosts of admirers, some of them pure and having honorable intentions; but (I am sorry to sound the note of warning here,) others will come with the most dishonorable intentions possible, though with an air of sincerity, and apparently as artless as doves. Study all men long and carefully, keeping them meanwhile at a respectful distance; never allow one to sit near with his arm about your waist or to hold your hand in his; never allow him to kiss you--_the vilest of loathsome diseases may be communicated by a kiss_ viz.: _syphilis_. Do not allow any approach or touch beyond what is customary in the best of society at a social gathering. Many a young lady with an angelic form and spotless soul within, full of the best intentions and of the purest character, giving bright promise of a brilliant future, has been ruined for life by trusting herself alone with some of these apparently wise and good, yet really vile men.

Young women have not, as a rule, any s.e.xual propensity, or amorous thoughts or feelings. If they have been properly educated and cared for, they are, before marriage, perfect strangers to any such sensations; and yet any young lady who falls, does so by her own hand and she has no one else to blame for it. _Remember_ that the Lord, in the beginning, never suffers temptations beyond one's strength to overcome. If she falls ultimately, it results from allowing an impure seed to be planted in the mind at first, which she then nourishes for a time and only in the end it bears its fruit.

As time pa.s.ses, a young lady forms an acquaintance with gentlemen, and at length she favors the addresses of one who is particularly agreeable to her. After this acquaintance has ripened into love, and she has become convinced of the purity of his heart, she enjoys being with him, in sitting by his side, and is unhappy in his absence. When betrothed, owing to her great and pure love for him, she takes pleasure in receiving such marks of affection from him as are shown by a tender father or brother, but nothing more. After marriage, she feels that she is really his and that he has become a part of herself--that they are no more twain but are one flesh. All this has transpired without her hardly suspecting such a quality in herself as an amorous affection. Still she more than ever loves him, more than ever desires to be near him until finally their union is fully and truly consummated by the marriage act.

At no time in her life does a woman make a greater sacrifice of her feelings than at this time, and she does it solely for her pure and fervent love for him. This is right and proper, and is in accordance with the laws of order in the creation of the two s.e.xes in the human, animal and vegetable kingdoms throughout the world.

I wish here to have some "Plain Talk," that the true object of this book may be more fully understood and its mission more successfully accomplished. Unless willing to make the above sacrifice, no woman should ever marry; because she would not then be fulfilling the marriage covenant. Besides, she would be false to her husband and this falsity might cause his moral and physical destruction; his health would suffer and his manhood become dethroned, because her conduct would utterly controvert the immutable laws of nature. Nature's laws cannot possibly be set aside without the infliction of a severe penalty. The healthy young woman will have no difficulty in preserving her chast.i.ty intact, so long as she cultivates that purity of mind to which she is naturally p.r.o.ne. She should never allow herself to read immoral stories or books having in the slightest degree even, such a tendency; theatrical plays with loose morals should also be avoided, and light, silly novels are very pernicious to the imaginative mind of the young.

On the other hand useful reading stores the mind with high and n.o.ble thoughts, whence spring good and useful deeds.

Unfortunately there are a variety of morbid conditions to which the female is liable, so that s.e.xual desires arise in spite of every effort to keep aloof from them--even though there is not the slightest guilt in mental or bodily transgression. These are owing to disordered conditions of the s.e.xual system, just as other disorderly desires arise, and are often _inherited_--remember this all parents!--or they may be caused by some morbific influences, as are other diseased conditions of the body.

Many a time have I had pure-minded young ladies apply to me for medical aid in these matters, confessing that they had impure thoughts which they knew were wrong, but of which they could not rid themselves. In such cases there are physical symptoms of some kind that incite these thoughts and feelings. The proper medical and hygienic treatment always restores order in such functional derangements and the s.e.xual disturbances of the mind disappear. I have repeatedly cured nymphomania by curing physical, or const.i.tutional symptoms. In one case which came under my care, nymphomania appeared in a married woman in the seventh month of her pregnancy, and so fearfully did her mania rage that it threw her into convulsions. Her physical and sensational symptoms led me to the choice of the medicine that cured her, so that she was happily delivered of a fine, healthy child at full term and no trace of the disease has ever appeared since. Too often young women err and give way to such feelings in resorting to _self-abuse_ for relief, or to the caresses of the opposite s.e.x, when they are ruined forever. It is never safe to temporize or to tamper in this way with such sensations. Women have heads and brains, as well as men, and rational faculties, too.

Every digression allowed, only paves the way for others, with less and less resistance, and more and more ruinous results. Let a judicious physician be consulted at once in all cases where a morbid condition seems to excite immoral thoughts and sensations.

The effects of self-abuse upon woman, is as disastrous as masturbation upon males. A few hours after its commission, or the next day at furthest, she feels languid and dragged out, sleepy, unfit for reading anything solid, or studying, and unfit for social enjoyment with others; she looks pale and haggard; often she feels giddy, particularly when rising in the morning, with many other discomforts too numerous to mention here. And is it true that some young ladies, the sweetest and fairest of our race, play with one another in an immodest and indecent way, teaching immorality to the pure and innocent? I fear it is, I _know_ it is. Such things need not, must not, and will not be tolerated.

This little book will go about in all cla.s.ses of society confirming and strengthening the pure in heart in their purity and enlightening the ignorant who will joyfully hail the good news; all will join hands in one popular cry against indecencies and indulgences of an impure nature; and the vilest man even will be taught to fear and respect the combined world of chaste female influence. So it must be and eventually will be; but woman, naturally pure and lovely woman! the greatest part of this work must be done by you.

CHAPTER VI.

Marriage.

The Husband.