Charlotte's Inheritance Part 18
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"Time cannot show me your character in a n.o.bler light than that in which I see it now. You do not lack the power to win a woman's heart, but I have no heart to give. If you will be my friend, time will increase my affection for you--but time cannot restore the dead."
"Which means that your heart is dead, Diane?"
"Yes," she answered, with unutterable sadness.
"You love some one younger, happier than I?"
"No, M. Len.o.ble, no one."
"But you have loved? Yes!--a scoundrel, perhaps; a villain, who--"
A spasm of pain contracted his face as he looked at the girl's drooping head; her face, in that dim light, he could not see.
"Tell me this, Diane," he said presently, in an altered voice; "there is no barrier between us--no irrevocable obstacle that must part us for ever? There is no one who can claim you by any right--" He paused; and then added, in a lower voice, "by any wrong?"
"No one," answered Miss Paget, lifting her head, and looking her lover full in the face. Even in that uncertain light he could see the proud steady gaze that seemed the fittest answer of all doubts.
"Thank G.o.d!" he whispered. "Ah, how could I fear, even for one moment, that you could be anything but what you seem--the purest among the pure?
Why, then, do you reject me? You do not love me, but you ask my friends.h.i.+p; you offer me your friends.h.i.+p, even your affection. Ah, believe me, if those are but real, time will ripen them into love. Your heart is dead. Ah, why should that young heart be dead? It is not dead, Diane; it needs but the fire of true love to warm it into life again. Why should you reject me, since you tell me that you love me; unless you love another? What should divide us?"
"Shadows and memories," Diana replied mournfully,--"vague and foolish; wicked, perhaps; but they come between you and me, M. Len.o.ble. And since I cannot give you a whole heart, I will give you nothing."
"You have loved some one, some one who did not value your love? Tell me the truth, Diane; you owe me at least as much as that."
"I do owe you the truth. Yes; I have been very foolish. For two or three years of my life there was a person who was our daily companion. He travelled with us--with my father and me; and we saw many changes and troubles together. For a long time he was like my brother; and I doubt if many brothers are as kind to their sisters as he was to me. In his heart that feeling never changed. He was always equally kind, equally careless.
Once I deluded myself with the fancy that in his looks and tones, and even in his words, there was some deeper feeling than this careless brotherly kindness; but it was no more than a delusion. My eyes were opened rudely enough. I saw his heart bestowed elsewhere. Do not think that I am so weak, or so wicked, as to abandon myself to despair because I have been awakened from my foolish dream. I can look the realities of life in the face, M. Len.o.ble; and I have taught myself to wish all good things for the dear girl who has won the heart that I once thought was mine. The person I am speaking of can boast no superior graces of mind or person. He is only a very commonplace young man, with a certain amount of talent, a disposition inclined to good rather than to evil. But he was the companion of my girlhood; and in losing him it seems to me as if I had lost a part of my youth itself."
To Diana's mind this seemed the end of the discussion. She expected M.
Len.o.ble to bow his head to the inevitable, to utter a friendly farewell, and depart for his Norman home, convinced, if not satisfied. But the light-hearted, easy-tempered Gustave was not a lover of the despairing order, nor an easily answered suppliant.
"And that is all!" he exclaimed, in the cheeriest tone. "A companion of your girlhood, for whom you had a girl's romantic fancy! And the memory of this unspeakable idiot--great Heaven! but how idiotic must this wretch have been, to be loved by you, and not even to know it!--the memory of this last of the last is to come between you and me, and divide us for ever? The phantom of this miserable, who could be loved by an angel without knowing it, is to lift its phantasmal hand and thrust me aside--me, Gustave Len.o.ble, a man, and not an idiot? Ah, thus we blow him to the uttermost end of the world!" cried M. Len.o.ble, blowing an imaginary rival from the tips of his fingers. "Thus we dismiss him to the Arctic regions, the torrid zone--to the Caucasus, where await vultures to gnaw his liver--wherever earth is most remote and uncomfortable--he and the bread-and-b.u.t.ter miss whom he prefers to my Diane!"
This manner of taking things was quite unexpected by Diana. It was much more pleasant than gloomy despair or sullen resentment; but it was, at the same time, much more difficult to deal with.
"He is gone!" cried Gustave presently; "he is on the topmost heights of Caucasus, and the vultures are sharpening their beaks! And now, tell me, Diane--you will be my wife, will you not? You will be a mother to my children? You will transform the old chateau of Cotenoir into a pleasant home? You will cease to live amongst strangers? You will come to those who will love and cherish you as their own, their dearest and best and brightest? You will give your poor old father a corner by your fireside?
He is old and needs a home for his last years. For his sake, Diane, for mine, for my children, let your answer be yes! Ah, not so fast!" he cried, as she was about to speak. "Why are you so quick to p.r.o.nounce your fatal judgment? Think how much depends on your reply--your father's happiness, my children's, mine!"
"It is of yours only I must think," Miss Paget answered earnestly. "You fancy it is so easy for me to say no. Believe me, it would be much easier to say yes. When you speak of my father's declining years, I, who know his weary life so well, would be hard of heart indeed if I were not tempted by the haven you offer. Every word that you say gives me some new proof of your goodness, your generosity. But I will not wrong you because you are generous. I shall always be your grateful friend, but you must seek elsewhere for a wife, M. Len.o.ble. You will have little difficulty in finding one worthier than I."
"I will seek nowhere else for a wife; I will have no wife but you. I have had a wife of other people's choosing; I will choose one for myself this time. Let us be friends, Diane, since your decision is as irrevocable as the laws of Draco. You are stone, you are adamant; but no matter, we can be friends. Your father will be disappointed. But what then? He is no doubt accustomed to disappointments. My daughters--for them it is a profound affliction to be motherless, but they must support it. Cotenoir must go to wreck and ruin a little longer--a few more rats behind the panelling, a few more moths in the tapestry, that is all. My children say, 'Papa, our home is not comfortable; all is upside-down;' and I reply. 'But what will you, my children? A home without a wife is always upside down.' And then I take them between my arms, in weeping. It is a poignant picture to rend the heart. But what does it matter, Miss Paget?
What is that verse of your grand Will?--
Blow, blow, thou wintry wind; And let go weep the stricken land, While harts ungalled go play.
Perhaps I have mixed him up somehow; but the meaning is clear."
A hollow-sounding and somewhat awful cough heralded the approach of Captain Paget, who entered the room at this juncture. If the Captain had prolonged his first airing, after six weeks' confinement to the house, until this late period of the afternoon, he would have committed an imprudence which might have cost him dearly. Happily, he had done nothing of the kind, but had re-entered the house un.o.bserved, while Diana and Gustave were conversing close to the window, having preferred to leave his fly at the end of the street, rather than to incur the hazard of interrupting a critical tete-a-tete. The interval that had elapsed since his return had been spent by the Captain in his own bedchamber, and in the immediate neighbourhood of the folding-doors between that apartment and the parlour. What he had heard had been by no means satisfactory to him; and if a look could annihilate, Miss Paget might have perished beneath the Parthian glance which her father shot at her as he came towards the window, with a stereotyped smile upon his lips and unspeakable anger in his heart.
He had heard just enough of the conversation to know that Gustave had been rejected--Gustave, with Cotenoir and a handsome independence in the present, and the late John Haygarth's fortune in the future. Rejected by a penniless young woman, who at any moment might find herself without a roof to shelter her from the winds of heaven! Was ever folly, madness, wickedness supreme as this?
Horatio trembled with rage as he took his daughter's hand. She had the insolence to extend her hand for the customary salutation. The Captain's greeting was a grip that made her wince.
"Good-night, Miss Paget," said Gustave gravely, but with by no means the despondent tone of a hopeless lover; "I--well, I shall see you again, perhaps, before I go to Normandy. I doubt if I shall go to-morrow. I have my own reasons for staying--unreasonable reasons, perhaps, but I shall stay."
All this was said in a tone too low to reach Captain Paget's ear.
"Are you going to leave us, Len.o.ble?" he asked in a quavering voice. "You will not stop and let Di give you a cup of tea as usual?"
"Not to-night, Captain. Good-bye."
He wrung the old man's hand and departed. Captain Paget dropped heavily into a chair, and for some minutes there was silence. Diana was the first to speak.
"I am glad your doctor considered you well enough to go out for a drive, papa," she said.
"Indeed, my dear," answered her father with a groan; "I hope my next drive may be in a different kind of vehicle--the last journey I shall ever take, until they cart away my bones for manure. I believe they do make manure from the bones of paupers in our utilitarian age."
"Papa, how can you talk so horribly! You are better, are you not? M.
Len.o.ble said you were better."
"Yes, I am better, G.o.d help me!" answered the old man, too weak alike in mind and body to hide the pa.s.sion that possessed, him. "That is one of the contradictions of the long farce we call life. If I had been a rich man, with a circle of anxious relations and all the noted men of Savile Row dancing attendance round my bed, I dare say I should have died; but as I happen to be a penniless castaway, with only a lodging-house drudge and a half-starved apothecary to take care of me, and with nothing before me but a workhouse, I live. It is all very well for a man to take things easily when he is ill and helpless, too weak even to think. _That_ is not the trying time. The real trial arrives when a little strength comes back to him, and his landlady begins to worry him for her rent, and the lodging-house drudge gets tired of pitying him, and the apothecary sends in his bill, and the wretched high-road lies bare and broad before him, and he hears the old order to move on. The moving-on time has come for me, Di; and the Lord alone knows how little I know where I am to go."
"Papa, you are not friendless; even I can give you a little help."
"Yes," answered the Captain with a bitter laugh; "a sovereign once a quarter--the sc.r.a.pings of your pittance! That help won't save me from the workhouse."
"There is M. Len.o.ble."
"Yes, there is M. Len.o.ble; the man who would have given me a home for my old age: he told me so to-day--a home fit for a gentleman--for the position he now occupies is nothing compared to that which he may occupy a year hence. He would have received me as his father-in-law, without thought or question of my antecedents; and if I have not lived like a gentleman, I might have died like one. This is what he would have done for me. But do you think I can ask anything of him now, after you have refused him? I know of your refusal to be that man's wife. I heard--I saw it in his face. You--a beggar, a friendless wretch, dependent on the patronage of a stockbroker's silly wife--_you_ must needs give yourself grand airs, and refuse such a man as that! Do you think such men go begging among young ladies like you, or that they run about the streets, like the roast pigs in the story, begad, with knives and forks in their backs, asking to be eaten?"
The Captain was walking up and down the room in a fever of rage. Diana looked at him with sad wondering eyes. Yes, it was the old selfish nature. The leopard cannot change his spots; and the Horatio Paget of the present was the Horatio Paget of the past.
"Pray don't be angry with me, papa," said Diana sorrowfully; "I believe that I have done my duty."
"Done your fiddlesticks!" cried the Captain, too angry to be careful of his diction. "Your duty to whom? Did you happen to remember, miss, that you owe some duty to me, your father, but for whom you wouldn't be standing there talking of duty like a tragedy queen? By Jove! I suppose you are too grand a person to consider my trouble in this matter; the pains I took to get Len.o.ble over to England; the way I made the most of my gout even, in order to have you about me; the way I finessed and diplomatized to bring this affair to a successful issue. And now, when I have succeeded beyond my hopes, you spoil everything, and then dare to stand before me and preach about duty. What do you want in a husband, I should like to know? A rich man? Len.o.ble is that. A handsome man? Len.o.ble is that. A gentleman, with good blood in his veins? Len.o.ble comes of as pure a race as any man in that part of France. A good man? Len.o.ble is one of the best fellows upon this earth. What is it, then, that you want?"
"I want to give my heart to the man who gives me his."
"And what, in the name of all that's preposterous, is to prevent you giving Gustave Len.o.ble your heart?"
"I cannot tell you."
"No, nor any one else. But let us have no more of this nonsense. If you call yourself a daughter of mine, you will marry Gustave Len.o.ble. If not--"
The Captain found himself brought to a sudden stop in his unconscious paraphrase of Signor Capulet's menace to his recalcitrant daughter, Juliet. With what threat could the n.o.ble Horatio terrify his daughter to obedience? Before you talk of turning your rebellious child out of doors, you must provide a home from which to cast her. Captain Paget remembered this, and was for the moment reduced to sudden and ignominious silence.
And yet there must surely be some way of bringing this besotted young woman to reason.
He sat for some minutes in silence, with his head leaning on his hand, his face hidden from Diana. This silence, this att.i.tude, so expressive of utter despondency, touched her more keenly than his anger. She knew that he was mean and selfish, that it was of his own loss he thought; and yet she pitied him. He was old and helpless and miserable; so much the more pitiable because of his selfishness and meanness. For the heroic soul there is always some comfort; but for the grovelling nature suffering knows no counterbalance. The ills that flesh is heir to seem utterly bitter when there is no grand spirit to dominate the flesh, and soar triumphant above the regions of earthly pain. Captain Paget's mind, to him, was not a kingdom. He could not look declining years of poverty in the face; he was tired of work. The schemes and trickeries of his life were becoming very odious to him; they were for the most part worn out, and had ceased to pay. Of course he had great hopes, in any event, from Gustave Len.o.ble; but those hopes were dependent on Gustave's inheritance of John Haygarth's estate. He wanted something more tangible than this--he wanted immediate security; and his daughter's marriage with Gustave would have given him that security, and still grander hopes for the future. He had fancied himself reigning over the va.s.sals of Cotenoir, a far more important personage than the real master of that chateau. He had pictured to himself a _pied-a-terre_ in Paris which it might be agreeable for him to secure, for existence in Normandy might occasionally prove _canuyeux_. These things were what he meant when he talked of a haven for his declining years; and against the daughter who, for some caprice of her own, could hinder his possession of these things, he had no feeling but anger.
Diana compa.s.sionated this weak old man, to whose lips the cup of prosperity had seemed so near, from whose lips her hand had thrust it.
Charlotte's Inheritance Part 18
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Charlotte's Inheritance Part 18 summary
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