Bad Girls of the Bible Part 20

However softly spoken his words were, Michele felt as if he'd slapped her.

"Oh, Phil! I'm...sorry." She could barely bring herself to look him in the eye. "It's just something I have to do to...uh, get him out of my system. Don't you see? I'll be home no later than ten o'clock with the whole thing behind us."

Who was she fooling? After a dozen years Dave was still very much in her system.

She spent the next day behaving like a nervous schoolgirl preparing for her first date. A fresh manicure, a facial, a zippy new outfit that didn't make her look thirty. She scrutinized every wrinkle and suspicious gray hair. After seeing him on television, would he look as good close up? Would she?

She hoped to get out the door before Phil got home from work, but he stumbled into their bedroom an hour earlier than usual, tears rolling down his cheeks. "Don't do this, Michele. Please stay home."

His sentimental s...o...b..ring made it easier to go, not harder. She'd never noticed what a truly weak man he was. Anger, like her father's, she could handle. But Phil's tears were just plain embarra.s.sing. She left early, kissing him on the cheek and reminding him she'd be home by ten.

The spring air welcomed her with a fragrant embrace. On her solo drive downtown, windows rolled down, she listened to an old tape of Dave's, gearing herself up for the service. And for Dave. She hadn't told him she was married. He'd never have let her come if he'd known. Good old righteous Dave. Nothing would come of the evening, right? Just friends. Just music. Just a stroll down memory lane.

Before she was truly ready, she was turning into the Myriad's parking lot, picking up her ticket at the box office, finding her seat in the first balcony, high up but front and center. The perfect vantage point with a huge screen in front to magnify everything that happened on stage.

A twenty-foot-tall Dave. Works for me! Michele s.h.i.+vered in antic.i.p.ation, especially when the houselights blinked off and a hush fell over the audience.

Colored lights began swirling, and the crowd started clapping as the spotlight illuminated one corner of the arena where an enormous wooden cross was lifted up with a deafening cheer. A dozen trumpeters in white and gold stood behind it, heralding the start of the wors.h.i.+p service, followed by elaborately dressed girls with tambourines, then more young men with bra.s.s cymbals. The procession moved toward center stage and began to fan out, no doubt making room for the headliner.

For Dave. Her Dave! How could she have convinced herself all these years that she didn't love him, when it was clear they were meant for each other?

Michele found herself standing, straining to see, before she remembered to look at the screen above her, where every detail was magnified. There! She was certain it must be Dave since the crowd was screaming.

He suddenly came into view, chin lifted, arms raised, wearing an ear-to-ear smile and...a...loincloth?

Michele gasped. Where did he think he was...Jerusalem?

His skin was bronzed, which made his teeth flash their whitest, his eyes sparkle even in the dark arena. She felt almost sick to her stomach as she watched him parade toward the stage in little more than a bathing suit, his movements nothing short of erotic.

Well, not erotic exactly. But he was dancing. Nothing else one could call it. The man was prancing like a...like a heathen! Behind him some two dozen young women were dancing as well, leaping and singing. "Joy to the Lord!" it sounded like.

She dropped into her seat, her hopes sinking just as quickly. Dave, how could you?

On the screen above her, Dave swirled, he swayed, he rocked, he rolled, following the cross up onto the stage. After a final flourish from the trumpets, Dave stepped to the microphone and shouted, "Let everything that has breath praise the Lord!" The audience roared its approval.

That was enough for Michele.

While the enthusiastic crowd settled in for a long night of music, she elbowed her way toward the exit sign, fighting tears and nausea. She hadn't known. Hadn't known! He'd been more reserved years ago, but this...It was unseemly and uncivilized and everything her father hated. She hated it too. Thank G.o.d she hadn't married him after all.

Phil! The man she had married, her beloved husband, was waiting for her at home. She had to apologize, beg him to forgive her, do something. She'd lost her mind, that's all. Dave was nothing more than an old flame that had been snuffed out in an instant.

Phil, please! Please forgive me! She said it over and over the whole drive home, preparing to kiss his feet if necessary-whatever it would take for him to welcome her back and forget the whole foolish incident.

The house was dark when she walked in. An eerie silence filled the air. When she flicked on the kitchen light, a large note on the fridge caught her attention immediately.

Michele- You will never know how much you've hurt me tonight. I want to forgive you, but I'm not sure I can. If Dave has thought about you all these years the same way you've thought of him, then I hope you two will be very happy.

Phil Michele crumpled to the floor, even as the letter crumpled in her freshly manicured hands...

From Bold Heroine to Bitter Has-Been: Michal

Everybody loved David.

Only one person (on record) loved Michal, bless her heart.

The women of Israel in particular thought David was hot stuff, literally singing his praises: "Saul has slain his thousands, and David his tens of thousands."1 Everybody loved David except King Saul, who feared the young lad's popularity. "And from that time on Saul kept a jealous eye on David."2 Honey, Saul did more than eyeball the guy. He threw a spear at David while the young man was playing the harp-hey, don't shoot the piano player!-but the agile David eluded him twice.

Then Saul offered David the hand of his older daughter Merab in marriage with the understanding that David would continue to fight on his behalf (and thinking that David would fall to his death at the hand of a Philistine).

No go.

David's humility wouldn't allow him to marry the daughter of a king. (On the other hand, maybe Merab was as ugly as a mud fence.) Meanwhile, Merab's younger sister, Michal, was standing in the wings, watching the handsome young warrior-poet as he played his harp for the royal court. In no time David stole her maiden's heart.

Now Saul's daughter Michal was in love with David... 1 Samuel 18:20 Her name, like the male counterpart Michael, means "Who is like G.o.d?" It's p.r.o.nounced "MEE-kal," with a soft k sound. (You're right; it does sound like you're clearing your throat.) What was it about David that made him so irresistible to men and women alike, and especially to Michal?

To begin with, like Joseph of chapters past, David was a looker. "He was ruddy, with a fine appearance and handsome features."3 Other translations are more specific: "David had a healthy reddish complexion and beautiful eyes, and was fine-looking" (AMP); "a healthy, good-looking boy with a sparkle in his eyes" (CEV); "a fine boy, tanned and handsome"(ICB).

In other words, ooh-ooh, child.

Not that his good looks had anything to do with David's being chosen as G.o.d's anointed one. Not hardly. "Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart."4 David had a heart for G.o.d, and that alone made him attractive, not only to his Creator but to earthly types as well.

He also had talent; as a musician and a songwriter, David was without parallel. More than seventy of the psalms came from his musical pen. What woman wouldn't love a man who could sing her to sleep with an original lullaby written only for her?

But there's more. He was a shepherd, tanned and muscular from working outdoors. He was young and innocent, not yet hardened by life. He was crowned a hero for killing the giant Goliath. And he was humble, always an admirable trait in a man. (I'd even say rare, but that's tacky.) Imagine combining the fighting ability of a Navy Seal, the G.o.dly talent of a Michael W. Smith, and the rugged good looks of a young Mel Gibson.

Are you getting the picture, girls?

Can we blame Michal for hiding behind a pillar at court and sighing as this shepherd boy plucked the strings of her heart? How the girl's hopes must have soared when David humbly refused the hand of Princess Merab, her older sister. Michal didn't even have to dip her sister's tresses in ink or tie the girl's pantyhose in a knot. Without any effort on her part, Michal watched as the bridal baton was pa.s.sed down to her.

Thanks to some court gossip, the word soon traveled to her father's chambers that Michal had a thing for David.

...and when they told Saul about it, he was pleased. 1 Samuel 18:20 My, what a loving, supportive father!

Not.

Saul saw this as the perfect opportunity to let someone else kill David without a spot of blood hitting his royal sandals.

"I will give her to him," he thought, "so that she may be a snare to him and so that the hand of the Philistines may be against him." 1 Samuel 18:21 The word "snare"-in Hebrew, moqesh-suggests something that would bait or lure David into a net and lead to his destruction. "Snare," as defined in English, means "something deceptively attractive." If King Saul wanted to keep tabs on David's whereabouts, what better way than to marry him to his lovely young daughter?

So Saul said to David, "Now you have a second opportunity to become my son-in-law." 1 Samuel 18:21 It's all I can do not to jump up and down here, waving my arms, frantically trying to get young David's attention. "No, Dave, no! Bad move, handsome!" But the humble musician had his own reasons for n.o.bly refusing to marry her: As a lowly shepherd from an impoverished family, he didn't have the money-the necessary bride price-to seek Michal's hand in marriage.

But David said, "Do you think it is a small matter to become the king's son-in-law? I'm only a poor man and little known." 1 Samuel 18:23 Saul no doubt antic.i.p.ated such a reaction, since David had made the same argument when offered Merab's hand. The king suggested a different price tag, one that suited his own taste for blood-both that of this young upstart and of the hated Philistines. However, that's not how he phrased it for his attendants.

Saul replied, "Say to David, 'The king wants no other price for the bride than a hundred Philistine foreskins, to take revenge on his enemies.'" 1 Samuel 18:25 Ugh. Foreskins? Couldn't David just bring home their dog tags?

Saul's plan was to have David fall by the hands of the Philistines. 1 Samuel 18:25 For Saul, it was a two-for-one deal. He'd get rid of both enemies in one b.l.o.o.d.y swoop.

For David, it was the perfect solution. The young warrior wasn't worried about dying on the battlefield, not when he had G.o.d on his side. To his way of thinking, the price for his bride was a bargain.

When the attendants told David these things, he was pleased to become the king's son-in-law. 1 Samuel 18:26 One thing bothers me, on Michal's behalf. It does not say David was "pleased to become Michal's husband"; rather, he was "pleased to become the king's son-in-law." The whole thing was politically motivated. We're told that Michal loved David but never that David loved Michal.

It grieves my woman's heart to think of it.

Eager to be welcomed into the king's household, David wasted no time earning his right to claim Michal.

So before the allotted time elapsed, David and his men went out and killed two hundred Philistines. 1 Samuel 18:26-27 Double or nothing for this guy! Why stop at one hundred when two hundred was just as easy? Did he count every last foreskin in a grisly ceremony or simply hand the ashen-faced Saul a sack?

Remember, this wasn't the outcome the king had hoped for at all. He was forced to keep his promise. Like it or not-not-his daughter now belonged to his sworn enemy.

Then Saul gave him his daughter Michal in marriage. 1 Samuel 18:27 Saul was expecting to go to a funeral, not a wedding! But he'd stated the price, in front of witnesses, and David had delivered, twofold.

And so the two became one. One flesh, without question, but one heart? One spirit? Despite her G.o.dly name, Michal showed no evidence of being a woman who yearned to please G.o.d the way her husband did. David was called a man after G.o.d's own heart;5 Michal was a young woman who was after David's heart.

David loved G.o.d more than he loved Michal. That was good.

Michal may have loved David more than she loved G.o.d. That was bad.

A poor pairing. Saul would have agreed, but for an entirely different reason.

When Saul realized that the LORD was with David and that his daughter Michal loved David... 1 Samuel 18:28 Double whammy! Saul had neither the Lord's allegiance nor his daughter's loyalty.

...Saul became still more afraid of him, and he remained his enemy the rest of his days. 1 Samuel 18:29 Plenty of husbands have trouble with their in-laws, but fathom being the mortal enemy of your wife's father. Never-Give-Up Saul told Jonathan to kill David, but instead the levelheaded son warned David, then convinced his father that David was their friend, not their foe.

It didn't work for long. Once again, while David was playing the harp, Saul threw a spear at him. (Maybe the king simply didn't like the song.) Saul sent men to David's house to watch it and to kill him in the morning. 1 Samuel 19:11 Apparently David and Michal lived in their own separate quarters yet near enough that Saul could send over henchmen to do the dirty deed by daybreak.

But Michal, David's wife, warned him, "If you don't run for your life tonight, tomorrow you'll be killed." 1 Samuel 19:11 As a new bride, Michal wasn't about to lose her dearly beloved merely because Daddy said so. How courageous she was in this scene, not only in warning her husband but in sending him away, knowing she might never see him again. Putting his needs above her own, Michal helped hubby make his getaway by the dark of night.

So Michal let David down through a window, and he fled and escaped. 1 Samuel 19:12 Clever Michal knew the ruse wasn't over yet, so she carried out a bit of subterfuge.

Then Michal took an idol and laid it on the bed, covering it with a garment and putting some goats' hair at the head. 1 Samuel 19:13 The Hebrew word for idol-teraphim-indicates a household idol. G.o.d had clearly forbidden such graven images, which means the house of Saul had not completely embraced Jehovah G.o.d, no matter what sort of public posturing they did. Inside their own walls they had idols. Big ones, if they looked even remotely like a sleeping David. What Michal wouldn't have given for the male version of one of those blow-up party dolls! Alas, she had to make do with the materials at hand, which worked at least temporarily.

When Saul sent the men to capture David, Michal said, "He is ill." 1 Samuel 19:14 I'll bet that was hard to say with a straight face.

We must resist the urge to judge Michal for her deception. Like Rahab, Michal lied to evil-minded men to protect a good one.

But King Saul didn't take "ill" for an answer.

Then Saul sent the men back to see David and told them, "Bring him up to me in his bed so that I may kill him." 1 Samuel 19:15 Can we talk determined here? Saul's approaching madness was dotting the horizon. Whether he was sane or not, Saul's men did his bidding.

But when the men entered, there was the idol in the bed.

1 Samuel 19:16

Sounds like they picked up the bed and the thing rolled out and went clunk on the floor. A dead giveaway. Word quickly got back to the king, who was not amused.

Saul said to Michal, "Why did you deceive me like this and send my enemy away so that he escaped?" 1 Samuel 19:17 Saul wanted to know why. He may not have understood her motives, but we do.

Michal risked her future, her very life, for any number of reasons, including her boundless love for David, her delight in acting as the heroine, even her long-awaited chance to tick off her father.

When we look at those possible explanations, one problem surfaces. What initially appeared as the selfless act of a loving wife might turn out to be the selfish game-playing of an immature, infatuated girl.

Desperate to avoid her father's unpredictable temper, Michal lied again-this time not to protect David but to save her own pretty neck.

Michal told him, "He said to me, 'Let me get away. Why should I kill you?'" 1 Samuel 19:17 Michal suggested her own life was at stake. Few things would soften a father's heart like seeing his daughter's life threatened. Her accusation didn't paint David in a very good light, though. Was she sorry he hadn't taken her along on his midnight ride?

We don't hear of Michal again for several chapters while David hid in the hills and Saul sentenced priests to death by the dozens. David chose a second wife-the beautiful and wise Abigail-and a third, Ahinoam of Jezreel. What happened to poor, neglected Michal?

But Saul had given his daughter Michal, David's wife, to Paltiel, son of Laish, who was from Gallim. 1 Samuel 25:44 Notice how Saul got around the fact that David was still alive and Michal's marriage to another husband was illegal. Men could marry many women simultaneously; women could marry only one man at a time. Perhaps Saul was punis.h.i.+ng Michal for her deceit. Maybe he couldn't bear to look at her anymore. Or Saul's intent may have been to thumb his nose at David and cut off any claim David would have to the royal family.

And what was Michal's opinion of being handed off to another man? We're not told, because (gulp) it didn't matter what she thought. As was so often the case with biblical women, "Michal the princess becomes Michal the slave."6 She had no voice. She had no choice.

And her love for David? A nonissue for father and son-in-law alike. Welcome to womanhood, 1000 B.C. style.

After the death of Saul, David was anointed king of Judah, but war continued between the house of Saul and the house of David for a long time, long enough for David to father six sons by multiple wives.

David grew stronger and stronger, while the house of Saul grew weaker and weaker. 2 Samuel 3:1 Abner, the commander of Saul's army, was no fool. He saw which way the wind was blowing and so sent a messenger to David, saying "Let's make a deal."

"Make an agreement with me, and I will help you bring all Israel over to you." 2 Samuel 3:12 David liked the idea, but he countered with a surprising stipulation.

"Good," said David. "I will make an agreement with you. But I demand one thing of you: Do not come into my presence unless you bring Michal daughter of Saul when you come to see me." 2 Samuel 3:13 My, David, it's only been fourteen years. We thought you'd forgotten your first wife. She was young then, fresh as a primrose in June. By now, the bloom has faded from her cheeks. Her tears are long dried. Another man has loved her for lo these many seasons.

Get ready, big guy. You may not like what strolls through your gates.

Then David sent messengers to Ish-Bosheth son of Saul, demanding, "Give me my wife Michal, whom I betrothed to myself for the price of a hundred Philistine foreskins." 2 Samuel 3:14 He remembered the price but not the princess all those years. As one scholar noted, "Even though she is a princess, she is traded like a trophy."7 Why was she the pivotal point of this exchange? Politics. Her father was dead, and the kingdoms were being united. Suddenly Michal had value to David. But not as a woman. As a trading card in a biblical game of winner-takes-all.

So Ish-Bosheth gave orders and had her taken away from her husband Paltiel son of Laish. 2 Samuel 3:15 One can only guess how this must have torn Michal's heart. We can imagine her snarling, "Pish-posh, Ish-Bosheth! Thanks for nothing, brother of mine." Though Michal had no children, she'd lived with Paltiel as her husband, legally or not, for all of her adult life and had spent only a brief time with David.

Any woman would understand if Michal were angry, bitter, resentful, or despondent. Paltiel, also a victim of the king's whim, was devastated.

Her husband, however, went with her, weeping behind her all the way to Bahurim. 2 Samuel 3:16 Interesting. He wept all the way, but she did not. Was she numb with grief? Hurt but resigned? Or was Michal eager to return to David's side, even though he'd left her high and dry fourteen years earlier without so much as a note, let alone a child in her womb.

It was lame duck Paltiel's turn to walk away empty-handed.