Poetical Ingenuities and Eccentricities Part 6

_Igno._ Fac ventum, Pecus. Ita, sic, sic. Ubi est Fledwit?

_Dul._ Non est inventus.

_Igno._ Ponite nunc chlamydes vestras super me, ne capiam frigus. Sic, sic. Ainsi, bien faict. Inter omnes poenas meas, valde laetor, et gaudeo nunc, quod feci bonum aggreamentum, inter Anglos nostros: aggreamentum, quasi aggregatio mentium. Super inde cras hoysabimus vela, et retornabimus iterum erga Londinum: tempus est, nam huc venimus Octabis Hillarii, et nunc fere est Quindena Pasche.

_Dul._ Juro, magister, t.i.tillasti punctum legis hodie.

_Igno._ Ha, ha, he! Puto t.i.tillabam. Si le nom del granteur, ou grante soit rased, ou interlined en faict pol, le faict est grandement suspicious.

_Dul._ Et nient obstant, si faict pol, &c., &c. Oh illud etiam in Covin.

_Igno._ Ha, ha, he!

_Pec._ At id, de un faict pendu en le smoak, nunquam audivi t.i.tillatum melius.

_Igno._ Ha, ha, he! Quid tu dicis, Musaee?

_Mus._ Equidem ego parum intellexi.

_Igno._ Tu es gallicrista, vocatus a c.o.xcomb; nunquam faciam te Legistam.

_Dul._ Nunquam, nunquam; nam ille fuit Universitans.

_Igno._ Sunt magni idiotae, et clerici nihilorum, isti Universitantes: miror quomodo spendisti tuum tempus inter eos.

_Mus._ Ut plurimum versatus sum in Logica.

_Igno._ Logica? Quae villa, quod burgum est Logica?

_Mus._ Est una artium liberalium.

_Igno._ Liberalium? Sic putabam. In nomine Dei, stude artes parcas et lucrosas: non est mundus pro artibus liberalibus jam.

_Mus._ Deditus etiam fui amori Philosophiae.

_Igno._ Amori? Quid! Es pro bagaschiis et strumpetis? Si custodis malam regulam, non es pro me, sursum reddam te in ma.n.u.s parentum iterum.

_Mus._ Dii faxint.

_Igno._ Quota est clocka nunc?

_Dul._ Est inter octo et nina.

_Igno._ Inter octo et nina? Ite igitur ad mansorium nostrum c.u.m baggis et rotulis.--Quid id est? videam hoc instrumentum; mane pet.i.t, dum calceo spectacula super nasum. O ho, ho, scio jam. Haec indentura, facta, &c., inter Rogerum Rattledoke de Caxton in comitatu Brecknocke, &c. O ho, Richard Fen, John Den. O ho, Proud Buzzard, plaintiff, adversus Peakegoose, defendant. O ho, vide hic est defalta literae; emenda, emenda; nam in nostra lege una comma evert.i.t totum Placitum.

Ite jam, copiato tu hoc, tu hoc ingrossa, tu Universitans trussato sumptoriam pro jornea.

[_Exeunt Clerici._

IGNORAMUS _solus_.

Hi, ho! Rosabella, hi ho! Ego nunc eo ad Veneris curiam letam, tentam hic apud Torcol: Vicecomes ejus Cupido nunquam cessavit, donec invenit me in baliva sua: Primum c.u.m amabam Rosabellam nisi parvum, misit parvum Cape, tum magnum Cape, et post, alias Capias et pluries Capias, & Capias infinitas; & sic misit tot Capias, ut tandem capavit me ut legatum ex omni sensu et ratione mea. Ita sum sicut musca sine caput; buzzo & turno circ.u.mcirca, et nescio quid facio. c.u.m scribo instrumentum, si femina nominatur, scribo Rosabellam; pro Corpus c.u.m causa, corpus c.u.m cauda; pro Noverint universi, Amaverint universi; pro habere ad r.e.c.t.u.m, habere ad lectum; et sic vasto totum instrumentum. Hei, ho! ho, hei, ho!

The following song by O'Keefe, is a mixture of English, Latin, and nonsense:

"Amo, amas, I love a la.s.s, As cedar tall and slender; Sweet cowslip's grace Is her nominative case, And she's of the feminine gender.

_Chorus._

Rorum, corum, sunt di-vorum, Harum, scarum, divo; Tag-rag, merry-derry, periwig and hatband, Hic, hoc, horum genitivo.

Can I decline a nymph so divine?

Her voice like a flute is dulcis; Her oculus bright, her ma.n.u.s white And soft, when I tacto her pulse is.

_Chorus._

O how bella, my puella I'll kiss in secula seculorum; If I've luck, sir, she's my uxor, O dies benedictorum."

_Chorus._

Of the many specimens written by the witty and versatile Dr. Maginn we select this one

THE SECOND EPODE OF HORACE.

"Blest man, who far from busy hum, Ut prisca gens mortalium, Whistles his team afield with glee Solutus omni fenore; He lives in peace, from battles free, Neq' horret irratum mare; And shuns the forum, and the gay Potentiorum limina, Therefore to vines of purple gloss Atlas maritat populos.

Or pruning off the boughs unfit Feliciores inserit; Or, in a distant vale at ease Prospectat errantes greges; Or honey into jars conveys Aut tondet infirmas oves.

When his head decked with apples sweet Auctumnus agris extulit, At plucking pears he's quite _au fait_ Certant, et uvam purpurae.

Some for Priapus, for thee some Sylvare, tutor finium!

Beneath an oak 'tis sweet to be Mod' in tenaci gramine: The streamlet winds in flowing maze Queruntur in silvis aves; The fount in dulcet murmur plays Somnos quod invitet leves.

But when winter comes, (and that Imbres nivesque comparat,) With dogs he forces oft to pa.s.s Apros in obstantes plagas; Or spreads his nets so thick and close t.u.r.dis edacibus dolos; Or hares, or cranes, from far away Jucunda captat praemia: The wooer, love's unhappy stir, Haec inter obliviscitur, His wife can manage without loss Domum et parvos liberos; (Suppose her Sabine, or the dry Pernicis uxor Appali,) Who piles the sacred hearthstone high La.s.si sub adventum viri, And from his ewes, penned lest they stray, Distenta siccet ubera; And this year's wine disposed to get Dapes inemtas apparet.

Oysters to me no joys supply, Magisve rhombus, aut scari, (If when the east winds boisterous be Hiems ad hoc vertat mare;) Your Turkey pout is not to us, Non attagen Ionicus, So sweet as what we pick at home Oliva ramis arborum!

Or sorrel, which the meads supply, Malvae salubres corpori-- Or lamb, slain at a festal show Vel haedus ereptus lupo.

Feasting, 'tis sweet the creature's dumb, Videre prop'rantes domum, Or oxen with the ploughshare go, Collo trahentes languido; And all the slaves stretched out at ease, Circ.u.m renidentes Lares!

Alphius the usurer, babbled thus, Jam jam futurus rusticus, Called in his cast on th' Ides--but he Quaerit Kalendis ponere!"

There is a little bit by Barham ("Ingoldsby Legends") which is worthy of insertion:

"What Horace says is Eheu fugaces Anni labuntur, Postume! Postume!

Years glide away and are lost to me--lost to me!

Now when the folks in the dance sport their merry toes, Taglionis and Ellslers, Duvernays and Ceritos, Sighing, I murmured, 'O mihi pretaeritos!'"

The following bright _carmen Macaronic.u.m_ appeared in an American periodical in 1873:

REX MIDAS.

"Vivit a rex in Persia land, A potens rex was he; Suum imperium did extend O'er terra and o'er sea.

Rex Midas habuit multum gold, Tamen he wanted plus; 'Non satis est,' his constant cry-- Ergo introit fuss.

Silenus was inebrius,-- Id est, was slightly tight, As he went vagus through the urbs, It was a tristis sight.

Rex Midas equitavit past On suum dromedary, Vidit Silenus on his spree, Sic laetus et sic merry.