On A Donkey's Hurricane Deck Part 21

The landlord of the Siegmund Hotel did not venture close enough to shake hands.

"Doos them dogs bite--yes?" he asked from the veranda.

"No," I answered, "they won't bite you and me, but they are very fond of each other."

Don looked up at me appealingly, as if he thought he had been persecuted. When the donkeys and the mongrel were in the barn, I turned Don loose. He was tickled, and ran round the barn three times, jumped over the hen-coop, upset the landlord, and then chased the house cat so that it climbed to the top of the hotel chimney. Most extraordinary dog; no common pastime satisfied him.

The hilly country I was now entering made it necessary for me to walk half the time, as a precaution against wearing out my animals. But the air was sweet with lilac, tulip, violet and apple blossoms; blue and red and yellow birds serenaded me as I pa.s.sed, all making me feel somewhat repaid for my winter hards.h.i.+ps.

The main street of Mechanicsville was beautifully shaded, and along the road-side was a tempting pasture for ruminating animals.

As I rode along and admired the scenes, I recalled a sentence from the Scriptures: "Whatsoever cheweth the cud that shall ye eat." To the right, in the cool shade, reclined a gentle-eyed cow, chewing her cud; to the left, at the base of a magnificent tree, sat a pretty bloomer girl beside her bicycle, also chewing. I was puzzled.

On reaching Mount Vernon, I discovered, after diligent inquiries, that Was.h.i.+ngton had never been there, dead or alive. Cornell College, for boys and girls, distinguishes the place as a seat of learning, and the students showed an abnormal appet.i.te for knowledge by purchasing my books and photos. A few miles west I crossed a ridge of wooded hills, descended into a lovely vale, crossed Cedar River, and drew rein at Bertram, a mountain town consisting of a railroad station, side track, tavern, store, and two to three houses.

From Bertram we mounted another and still higher ridge, from the summit of which I could see the great verdant valley, and, winding about it, a spiral cloud of smoke from the busy city of Cedar Rapids, where I arrived at six o'clock.

That evening, after a lapse of nine years, I met my old friend, Steve D----, who once had tramped Switzerland with me. After I had explained the cause of my unique pilgrimage and each had given an account of himself, he planned for me a pleasant two days'

sojourn, and suggested it was time I had a useful traveling companion. As I moved westward, the towns would be farther apart and I would have to camp often on the highway. The services of an able and trusty man would save me much time. Steve said he would try to find him.

Cedar Rapids contains some of the largest oatmeal factories in the country. I met through my friend several pleasant people, dined with his family, and was tendered a spread at the Grand Hotel, to which a few of his friends were invited. Meanwhile I found the man I was looking for.

He was about twenty, had been night porter in a hotel, and was well recommended. Twice I refused him because of his apparent inexperience in "roughing it," but I was won over by his persistence at the third call. He said his name was "c.o.o.nskin,"

and Wisconsin the State of his nativity. His attainments were something extraordinary. He could sling a Saratoga trunk into a first story window; had painted the highest church steeples, and broken the wildest horses; could skin all kinds of game, and, with equal facility, could "skin the cat;" in fact, he had made an enviable record in athletics, and had won several champions.h.i.+ps for sprints. He could swim like a frog, and, as for shooting, his comrades couldn't touch him with any kind of a gun. He was never ill, and had stood all kinds of exposures from hanging all night on a church steeple after his ladder had fallen, to riding on the trucks of a baggage car, as the result of the disbanding of a theatre troupe.

This c.o.o.nskin was a wonderful combination of resources; he was the very man I wanted. He wished to go with me for fun and experience, and was perfectly satisfied if I would defray his expenses. I took c.o.o.nskin at once to make the acquaintance of Mac, Cheese, Don, and the mongrel, and to be a.s.signed to his duties.

At nine o'clock the morning of our departure, he called at the hotel with a small bundle done up in a red handkerchief, and wearing a new pair of shoes.

"What have you in that bundle?" I asked.

"Everything."

"Extra suit of clothes?"

"Yep--and patches for emergency."

"Extra shoes already broken to your feet?"

"Yep--and chloride-of-lime and extra socks."

"Brush and comb and tooth brush?"

"Yep--and corn plasters and curry-comb."

"Extra suit of underwear and handkerchiefs?"

"Yep. Pajandrums, too."

I smiled in astonishment, so small was the bundle. "Well done,"

said I, "after this you shall do all my packing."

I was gratified to note c.o.o.nskin's quick perception, his alertness to obey, and his capacity for memorizing. He did not have to be told a thing more than three times before understanding it, and his lively interest in my welfare manifested itself at the start.

When I went to the stable at eleven o'clock, I found he had added to my itinerant kennel a bull terrier, which took to Don as fondly as Don had taken to the mongrel. I remonstrated.

"The more dogs you offer the Indian Chief, the bigger time he will give you," said my valet. "Better keep the terrier; I'll preserve harmony."

Glad to s.h.i.+ft some of my responsibilities to the broad shoulders of this young genius, I returned to the hotel and dressed for luncheon.

You may imagine how my heart was set aflutter when luncheon over, my valet rapped on the door and, venturing a foot in the room, said, with the courtliness of a Sancho Panza, "Your highness'

donkeys and dogs are at the door."

My guests were as much amused as I, and accompanied me to the street, where a crowd had a.s.sembled. I shall never forget the expression on my old friend's face when he saw the dogs yoked together. A second pole had been brought into use, and, Don and the mongrel having become reconciled, the bull terrier was made a sort of pivot round which revolved the other two, a mean dog between two extremes.

c.o.o.nskin said at first he had made the little mongrel act as the pivotal dog, but he had no sooner left the animals than Don and Towser swung round and clinched in pugilistic style, and, had it not been for the efficacy of the stable hose, with all hands at the pump, the mongrel would have soon been converted into sausage.

It was nineteen miles to the village of Norway; we did not arrive there till eleven at night. Once or twice on the way c.o.o.nskin was prevailed upon to relieve me in the saddle for a couple of miles; but although his new shoes were paining him, as I could see from his gait, he was too "game" to admit it, and whenever I asked him to ride, protested that walking wasn't a circ.u.mstance with him. He would rather walk than eat.

We found Norway asleep. After a.s.sisting c.o.o.nskin to stable the donks and secure the dogs, I perused a newspaper while my young neophyte went out to smoke. When he limped in, I noticed his coat pocket bulged with something he would conceal. I did not question him. But before retiring, I opened his door to give him orders for the morrow, and found him dressing his feet with Indian ointment, which he admitted he had procured from the village druggist. He had with difficulty aroused the man from slumber, in consequence of which he was made to pay double price for his cure. c.o.o.nskin was somewhat embarra.s.sed, but I praised his pluck in glowing terms, and put him at ease. Next day he was ready to take advice, by wearing his old shoes and riding most of the journey.

CHAPTER XXV.

BY MAC A'RONY.

What made Balaam celebrated as an astronomer?

He found an a.s.s-to-roid.--_Old Conundrum._

I had heard about the chilly climate of Norway, and was not surprised when we donks met with a cold reception. We had plenty of hay but no grain. Next morning the landlord said that he expected some oats soon after our departure.

Pod had walked the last three miles, and warming up, had strapped his vest to the saddle, where I found it next morning. Peaking out of a pocket was a crisp five dollar greenback.

Now, a donkey likes anything that's green. I never had eaten a vest. But I determined to tackle this somewhat tough corduroy "steak," and made a fair breakfast on it, not to speak of its garnishes of green money, lead pencils, and a scented lace handkerchief, the one my master had long carried in the left inside pocket. Save for the fact that I got a few sharp bones of a pocket-comb in my teeth, and a page of court-plaster stuck in my throat, I relished the repast.

But not so the Professor. When he had searched some time for the vest, he looked at me. As luck would happen, I had left sufficient circ.u.mstantial evidence on the saddle to convict most any donkey, but no one in particular. However, I suppose I looked guilty, and my past record was against me. Pod was speechless a moment, then he made up for lost time, and said that he believed a jacka.s.s would devour a house and lot if he had the chance.

"I don't know about a house," I replied, "but I know I could eat a lot if it were set before me." Then I caught it!

By nine o'clock the clouds having dispersed, we started for Blairstown.

The Iowa farms were pleasing to my eye. Horses and cattle were cropping the juicy gra.s.s, hogs were sh.e.l.ling corn or taking mud-baths, fowls of all kinds were engaged in athletic sports trying to add some new feather to their plumage, and occasional bunches of sheep were standing in barnyards and corrals with wool pulled over their eyes, not knowing what to do with themselves. It looked like a Garden of Eden, where donkeys were excluded.

Finally we met a farmer with a team of lazy horses. Pod asked him if a donkey was a known quant.i.ty in those parts, and was told that a man by the name of K----, living near the next town, owned two that he had been trying to give away. A mile beyond, we met a man in a one-horse gig, who had a word to say, too. One donkey knows another when he meets him.

"Your name is K----?" Pod inquired.