Claudia and the Sad Goodbye Part 6

And Kristy said, "Anyway, we usually do seem to solve our sitting problems. And when we don't, the kids do it themselves. Think of the times they've they've come through. Charlotte Johanssen was pretty attached to Stacey, but when Stacey moved, Charlotte handled it." come through. Charlotte Johanssen was pretty attached to Stacey, but when Stacey moved, Charlotte handled it."

"Boy," said Jessi, "I've got a problem I wish I I could handle. I've heard there are going to be auditions for the ballet could handle. I've heard there are going to be auditions for the ballet Swan Lake Swan Lake at the Civic Center - " at the Civic Center - "

"Are you going to try out?" squealed Mal, before Jessi could finish.

"Well, that's the thing. Even if the auditions are open to the public - "

"You're not the public," Mallory interrupted again. "You go to a fancy dance school in Stamford. Stoneybrook's Civic Center - "

" - is pretty important," said Jessi, interrupting Mal this time.

(The rest of us were turning our heads from right to left, left to right, as they spoke.) "In fact, the productions at the Civic Center," Jessi went on, "are practically off-off-Broadway. Anyway, even if I were allowed to audition, would I really want to? And would my parents let me?"

"Why wouldn't you want to?" I asked.

"Because I'd be competing with professional dancers. Or near-professional dancers, anyway," Jessi replied.

"Don't you you want to be professional one day?" Mal asked. want to be professional one day?" Mal asked.

"Ye-es ..."

"Then I think you ought to start competing," I interrupted. "Mimi always said - well, she didn't exactly say it this way, but she said something that meant, 'Give it all you've got.' Otherwise you'll never know what you're culpable of."

"Capable of," Mary Anne corrected me.

"Whatever."

Jessi nodded solemnly, but Mal's face broke into a grin. "Mimi," she said dreamily. "Remember the time she didn't want to go to that county fair with your family, Claud, so she pretended she was sick? Just like a kid who doesn't want to go to school."

"Mm-hmm," I replied shortly. I stared down at the bedspread.

Silence. Dead silence, so to speak. I had brought the discussion to a screeching halt.

After a few moments, Mal said tentatively, "Claudia? I - "

"Be quiet," I said softly. "I don't want to talk about Mimi."

"But on the night before her funeral - " Mal persisted.

"Be quiet! quiet! I just told you I don't want to talk about her." I just told you I don't want to talk about her."

"Okay, okay."

"Claud,", said Kristy, "this may not be the right time to bring this up, but that never stopped me before." Kristy tried to sound light, but n.o.body laughed.

"Bring what up?" I said testily. "It better not have anything to do with Mimi."

"Well, it doesn't ... exactly."

Even I was disappointed when the phone rang right then. My phone is a blessing and a curse. Sometimes we're saved by it, sometimes it can be so inconvenient.

A job was arranged for Kristy, the phone rang twice more, and afternoon jobs were lined up for Jessi and Mal.

Then Kristy picked up where she'd left off. "What I want to say, Claud, is more about Corrie than about Mimi. I know you're filling up a hole in Corrie's life. But I think she's doing the same for you."

After a long pause, I whispered, "Mimi's hole?"

Kristy nodded. "And you have to watch it when you let someone fill a hole. Especially when it's being filled by a kid like Corrie. I don't really believe you'd do this, but just think over what I'm going to say: Don't drop Corrie. Don't drop Corrie. You're going to start feeling better, Claud, and when you do, you won't need Corrie as much. So don't - don't just drop her." You're going to start feeling better, Claud, and when you do, you won't need Corrie as much. So don't - don't just drop her."

I was about to protest when Kristy went on, "I don't think you'll do that, though. I think you and Corrie are good for each other and just happen to need each other right now. I think each of you can help the other one get stronger. Be careful, that's all. Everyone says little kids don't break, but they do. Inside. I broke when my father walked out on us."

I gulped and nodded, thinking that I felt pretty broken myself. But I saw Kristy's point and told her so.

Kristy may be a loudmouth. She may be bossy sometimes. But I think she understands kids better than any of the rest of us does.

The meeting ended then, and my friends left club headquarters solemnly.

Chapter 12.

A week pa.s.sed. My grades were dropping.

My grades aren't too good to begin with, but they're pretty stable. Your average C work with an occasional B or D thrown in. I've been known to fail tests.

But when I dropped to a solid D average, no one seemed surprised or even said anything. And that surprised me. me. Ordinarily, my parents would have hit the roof, and my teachers would have called me in for conferences. They'd have said things like, "We know you can do better. You're a smart girl. You have a high I.Q." (That's true. I do.) Or, "We know you can do better. You're Janine's sister." That was the killer. It was also the point. I'm Janine's Ordinarily, my parents would have hit the roof, and my teachers would have called me in for conferences. They'd have said things like, "We know you can do better. You're a smart girl. You have a high I.Q." (That's true. I do.) Or, "We know you can do better. You're Janine's sister." That was the killer. It was also the point. I'm Janine's sister, sister, not not Janine. Janine.

Anyway, except for feeling tired all the time, I wasn't sure why my grades had gone down. I did my homework more often than usual. I read all the chapters that were a.s.signed to us. But I'll admit that it was hard to concentrate. Maybe that was because suddenly it had become become hard hard not not to think about Mimi. For awhile, I tried to shut her out of my mind. Now I couldn't. But why didn't someone say something to me? Why did they let my grades slide? Just because Mimi had died? Mimi would have wanted me to do well in school, if I could. to think about Mimi. For awhile, I tried to shut her out of my mind. Now I couldn't. But why didn't someone say something to me? Why did they let my grades slide? Just because Mimi had died? Mimi would have wanted me to do well in school, if I could.

I was angry at my teachers and my parents.

At least Dorrie and Ashley and my other cla.s.smates were speaking to me again. b.u.t.they wouldn't talk about Mimi, which was funny, because now I wanted to talk about her. Now if Mallory had said, "Remember the time when Mimi ..."I would have been all ears.

But I did find some sympathy cards slipped into my locker at school, and in our mailbox at home, from my cla.s.smates. Mostly, they were flowery cards with printed messages inside that said things like: I I share your sorrow and extend my sympathy. share your sorrow and extend my sympathy. Or: Or: What you have once cherished you will never lose. What you have once cherished you will never lose. Or even poems like: Or even poems like: Sometimes words just aren't enough, but I want you to know, Sometimes words just aren't enough, but I want you to know, da-da da-da da-da da-da da-da da-da da-doe. (You know what I mean.) And then da-da da-da da-da da-da da-da da-da da-doe. (You know what I mean.) And then Dorrie or Ashley or whoever would sign her name (or his name) under the message.

I guess it's hard to know what to do when someone dies. I tried to think what I would do if, for instance, Kristy's mother or grandmother or someone close to her died. I would talk to her and hug her - if that was what she wanted. But if Dorrie's mother died I would send her a card and sign my name. Maybe it depends on how well you know the person.

Sat.u.r.day mornings. I looked forward to them thirstily. They were oases in my desert. The kids and their puppets kept me going.

The puppets were almost done.

In fact, on one particular Sat.u.r.day, everyone was due to finish their puppets during cla.s.s, except for Marilyn and Carolyn, who had already finished theirs. The other kids were just putting on the last touches, such as hair.

I watched Corrie solemnly glue yellow yarn to the top of Nancy Drew's head. I watched Jamie glue antennae to his s.p.a.ce monster. I watched Gabbie just decorate and decorate her doll. I could tell her puppet wouldn't be finished until cla.s.s was over because she could always think of one more thing to add. She kept exclaiming, "Oh! I'll put these sparkly things on her dress!" Or, "She needs barrettes in her hair. Mary Anne Spier, can you please help me make barrettes?"

Meanwhile, the twins made collages with the materials the other kids were using on their puppets. While they worked, Marilyn announced, "We know a good joke." She was speaking for herself and her sister.

"Yeah," said Carolyn. "And since there are two of us; we can tell it better. See, once there were these two brothers and their names were Trouble and Shut Up. And one day they went downtown to go shopping and Trouble got lost. Shut Up was scared so he went looking for a policeman, and this is what happened. I'm going to play the part of Shut Up and Marilyn will be the policeman."

"I always have to be the policeman," complained Marilyn.

"That's because you're good at it," Carolyn told her.

Marilyn looked like she wanted to protest, but Carolyn said, "Come on. on. Let's finish the joke." Let's finish the joke."

"Okay," agreed Marilyn sulkily.

The rest of the joke went like this: Carolyn: "Oh, Mr. Policeman! Mr. Policeman!"

Marilyn: "What's the matter, little boy?"

Carolyn, pretending to cry: "I lost my brother and I can't find him."

Marilyn: "What's your name?"

Carolyn: "Shut Up."

Marilyn: "Are you looking for trouble?"

Carolyn: "Yes, I just told you that."

I think there must have been more to the joke, but the twins stopped telling it because the other kids were laughing so hard, and anyway it was time to clean up. As we put things away, I kept hearing Jamie and Myriah giggle and murmur things like, "Are you looking for TROUBLE?!!"

Half an hour later the kids and their puppets and collages were gone. Except for Corrie and Nancy Drew. Corrie and I sat on our stoop as usual. Time went by. So much time, in fact, that Mary Anne returned from walking Jamie and the Perkins girls home, and joined us on the stoop.

"What are you going to do with Nancy Drew?" Mary Anne asked Corrie.

Corrie glanced at me and smiled. "Give it to my mom," she replied. "She will be so, so pleased. It will be a special present for her, and she will see that I did well in art. That way, I can make her happy."

"I hope you you like the puppet, too," said Mary Anne. like the puppet, too," said Mary Anne.

"Oh, I do," Corrie told her hastily. "But this is for Mommy. I can show her how much I love her."

At that moment, I heard our front door open behind us.

"Claudia?" It was Janine. "Your phone was ringing upstairs, so I answered it. It's Mrs. Addison. She wants to talk to you."

"Thanks, Janine," I said, glancing at Mary Anne. The two of us exchanged a look that plainly said, "What now?" which I hoped Corrie didn't see. Corrie was probably thinking, What now? herself, though.

Janine stepped outside to sit with Corrie and Mary Anne, and I dashed up to my room. I picked up the receiver, which Janine had placed on the bed.

"h.e.l.lo? Mrs. Addison?" I said.

"Hi, Claudia. Sorry to do this to you. I'm running late, as you can see."

"Yes. Corrie is waiting for you," I said pointedly.

"Well, the thing is, I've been held up doing my errands." (She did sound like she was calling from a pay phone on the street.) "My bracelet won't be ready at the jewelry store for another half an hour, and the man at the laundry is running late, too." (What a tragedy, I thought.) "So I was wondering if you'd keep Corrie for another hour or so, dear. I'll pay you whatever the rate is for an unexpected call like this."

"Well, I - "I began. Luckily, I was free. But what if I hadn't been? This was pretty pushy of Mrs. Addison. As it was, I'd planned to do some homework that afternoon and finish up a project for my pottery cla.s.s.

"Oh, that's wonderful," said Mrs. Addison breathily, before I could tell her any of those things. "Tell Corrie I'll be along. Thanks a million. 'Bye!" She hung up.

Oh, brother, I thought. Now I've got to go downstairs and give Corrie this news. I walked slowly to the front door, opened it slowly, and sat down slowly when Corrie, Janine, and Mary Anne squished aside to make room for me.

"Corrie," I said, deciding just to come out and say it, "your mom's running late. She asked me to watch you for another hour or so while she finishes her errands. So why don't you come inside and we'll have some lunch? I don't know about you, but I'm getting hungry. Then I'll show you all the art stuff up in my room."

I just kept talking away as Corrie's face fell. Mary Anne and Janine played along with me nicely, though.

Mary Anne stood up and stretched, as if she heard stories like this every day. Then she said, "I guess I better be going. I'm getting hungry myself. See you next Sat.u.r.day, Corrie." Then she ran across the street to her house.

And Janine said, "We've got peanut b.u.t.ter and jelly, Corrie. And tunafish, I think. Let's go make sandwiches. Maybe Mom and Dad will let us fix chocolate milk shakes in the blender."

I was surprised. Janine planned to stick with us? Usually she's stuck to her computer. But, I suddenly realized, she hadn't been quite so stuck to it since Mimi had died. She'd spent more time with me. She knew about my stop-action painting, my pottery cla.s.s, the D I'd gotten on a math quiz, and even where the portrait of Mimi was stashed.

Janine and I rose, and Corrie reluctantly followed us into the house, clutching Nancy Drew. We made sandwiches and milk shakes, and Mom and Dad knew enough to let the three of us eat alone. People can practically see see how timid Corrie is. how timid Corrie is.

All during lunch, poor Corrie kept saying things like, "Where's Daddy, I wonder?" and, "Who's watching Sean?" and, "Do you think Mommy will pick up Sean or me first?"

When Mrs. Addison finally did arrive (she honked her car horn from the street more than two hours later), Corrie looked at me tearfully, thanked me for making milk shakes, and handed me Nancy Drew.

"Here. You take her," she said. "I don't want Mommy to have her after all. I want you to have her."

Whoa, I thought as I watched the Addisons drive away. As terrible as I felt about Mimi, I realized one good thing. Mimi was gone, but I'd known her love. I was lucky.

It must, I decided, be awfully difficult to be Corrie Addison.

Chapter 13.

After Corrie left, I went to my room and tried to catch up on some of the things I. was behind on, and to do over some of the things I'd done poorly in the first place. For most of the afternoon I felt like Mimi was watching me, and that was a good feeling. It was as if she were sitting next to me, patiently helping me, just like she used to do. She would say, "No, look at problem again, my Claudia. Read carefully. Slow down. You can find answer." Sometimes - not often, but sometimes - she used to climb the steps to the second floor, sit in my room, and watch me work on a painting, a collage, a sculpture, a piece of jewelry. Those times she never said anything. She just watched, and occasionally nodded or smiled. Maybe right now she was thinking about the Muses. Maybe Mimi would become my own personal Muse. Whatever she was, it was nice having her with me. I felt as if she hadn't left us after all.

Our family ate dinner together that night, and I wondered whether the Addisons were doing the same thing, or if Corrie and Sean were eating alone while their parents got. dressed to go to a fancy party or something.

When dinner was over, Dad and I cleaned up the kitchen, Mom took the newspaper into the living room, and Janine disappeared, maybe to work on her computer. But those days, who knew? When the kitchen was clean, I left it to go back to my homework. On the way to the stairs, I pa.s.sed Mimi's bedroom.

The door was open. The light was on. And Janine was sitting on Mimi's bed with the contents of Mimi's jewelry box spilled in front of her.

I was shocked. None of us had been able to go into Mimi's room since the morning she'd died and I'd closed the door.