Homeward Bound; Or, the Chase Part 24

"_Voila une drole d'idee!_" e.j.a.c.u.l.a.t.ed Mademoiselle Viefville.

"'--In which food is taken," repeated Mr. Dodge, who fancied the involuntary exclamation was in approbation of the justice of his sentiments. 'Indeed the custom of taking wine at this meal, together with the immorality of the hour, must be chief reasons why the French ladies are so much in the practice of drinking to excess'"

"_Mais, monsieur!_"

"You perceive, mademoiselle calls in question the accuracy of your facts,"

observed Mr. Blunt, who, in common with all the listeners, Sir George and Mr. Monday excepted, began to enjoy a scene which at first had promised nothing but _ennui_ and disgust.

"I have it on the best authority, I give you my honour, or I would not introduce so grave a charge in a work of his contemplated importance. I obtained my information from an English gentleman who has resided twelve years in Paris; and he informs me that a very large portion of the women of fas.h.i.+on in that capital, let them belong to what country they will, are dissipated."

"_A la bonne heure, monsieur!--mais_, to drink, it is very different."

"Not so much so, mademoiselle, as you imagine," rejoined John Effingham.

"Mr. Dodge is a purist in language as well as in morals, and he uses terms differently from us less-instructed prattlers. By dissipated, he understands a drunkard."

"_Comment!_"

"Certainly; Mr. John Effingham, I presume, will at least give us the credit in America in speaking our language better than any other known people. 'After dejjunying, took a _phyacre_ and rode to the palace, to see the king and royal family leave for Nully.--'"

"_Pour ou_?"

"_Pour Neuilly, mademoiselle_," Eve quietly answered.

"'--For Nully. His majesty went on horseback, preceding his ill.u.s.trious family and all the rest of the n.o.ble party, dressed in a red coat, laced with white on the seams, wearing blue breeches and a c.o.c.ked hat.'"

"_Ciel!_"

"'I made the king a suitable republican reverence as he pa.s.sed, which he answered with a gracious smile, and a benignant glance of his royal eye.

The Hon. Louis Philippe Orleans, the present sovereign of the French, is a gentleman of portly and commanding appearance, and in his state attire, which he wore on this occasion, looks 'every inch a king.' He rides with grace and dignity, and sets an example of decorum and gravity to his subjects, by the solemnity of his air, that it is to be hoped will produce a beneficial and benign influence during this reign, on the manners of the nation. His dignity was altogether worthy of the schoolmaster of Haddonfield.'"

"_Par exemple!_"

"Yes, mam'selle, in the way of example, it is that I mean. Although a pure democrat, and every way opposed to exclusion, I was particularly struck with the royalty of his majesty's demeanour, and the great simplicity of his whole deportment. I stood in the crowd next to a very accomplished countess, who spoke English, and she did me the honour to invite me to pay her a visit at her hotel, in the vicinity of the Bourse."

"_Mon Dieu--mon Dieu--mon Dieu!_"

"After promising my fair companion to be punctual, I walked as far as Notter Dam--"

"I wish Mr. Dodge would be a little more distinct in his names," said Mademoiselle Viefville, who had begun to take an interest in the subject, that even valueless opinions excite in us concerning things that touch the affections.

"Mr. Dodge is a little profane, mademoiselle," observed the captain; "but his journal probably was not intended for the ladies, and you must overlook it. Well, sir, you went to that naughty place--"

"To Notter Dam, Captain Truck, if you please, and I flatter myself that is pretty good French."

"I think, ladies and gentlemen, we have a right to insist on a translation; for plain roast and boiled men, like Mr. Monday and myself, are sometimes weeping when we ought to laugh, so long as the discourse is in anything but old-fas.h.i.+oned English. Help yourself, Mr. Monday, and remember, you _never_ drink."

"_Notter Dam_, I believe, mam'selle, means our Mother, the Church of our Mother.--Notter, or Noster, our,--Dam, Mother: Notter Dam. 'Here I was painfully impressed with the irreligion of the structure, and the general absence of piety in the architecture. Idolatry abounded, and so did holy water. How often have I occasion to bless Providence for having made me one of the descendants of those pious ancestors who cast their fortunes in the wilderness in preference to giving up their hold on faith and charity!

The building is much inferior in comfort and true taste to the commoner American churches, and met with my unqualified disapprobation.'"

"_Est il possible que cela soit vrai, ma chere!_"

"_Je l'espere, bien, mademoiselle_."

"You may _despair bien_, cousin Eve," said John Effingham, whose fine curvilinear face curled even more than usual with contempt.

The ladies whispered a few explanations, and Mr. Dodge, who fancied it was only necessary to resolve to be perfect to achieve his end, went on with his comments, with all the self-satisfaction of a provincial critic.

"'From Notter Dam I proceeded in a _cabrioly_ to the great national burying-ground, Pere la Chaise, so termed from the circ.u.mstance that its distance from the capital renders chaises necessary for the _convoys_--"

"How's this, how's this!" interrupted Mr. Truck; "is one obliged to sail under a convoy about the streets of Paris?"

"_Monsieur Dodge veut dire, convoi_. Mr. Dodge mean to say, _convoi_"

kindly interposed Mademoiselle Viefville.

"Mr. Dodge is a profound republican, and is an advocate for rotation in language, as well as in office: I must accuse you of inconstancy, my dear friend, if I die for it. You certainly do not p.r.o.nounce your words always in the same way, and when I had the honour of carrying you out this time six months, when you were practising the continentals, as you call them, you gave very different sounds to many of the words I then had the pleasure and gratification of hearing you use."

"We all improve by travelling, sir, and I make no question that my knowledge of foreign language is considerably enlarged by practice in the countries in which they are spoken."

Here the reading of the journal was interrupted by a digression on language, in which Messrs. Dodge, Monday, Templemore, and Truck were the princ.i.p.al interlocutors, and during which the pitcher of punch was twice renewed. We shall not record much of this learned discussion, which was singularly common-place, though a few of the remarks may be given as a specimen of the whole.

"I must be permitted to say," replied Mr. Monday to one of Mr. Dodge's sweeping claims to superiority in favour of his own nation, "that I think it quite extraordinary an Englishman should be obliged to go out of his own country in order to hear his own language spoken in purity; and as one who has seen your people, Mr. Dodge, I will venture to affirm that nowhere is English better spoken than in Lancas.h.i.+re. Sir George, I drink your health!"

"More patriotic than just, Mr. Monday; every body allows that the American of the eastern states speaks the best English in the world, and I think either of these gentlemen will concede that."

"Under the penalty of being n.o.body," cried Captain Truck; "for my own part, I think, if a man wishes to hear the language in perfection, he ought to pa.s.s a week or ten days in the river. I must say, Mr. Dodge, I object to many of your sounds, particularly that of inyon, which I myself heard you call onion, no later than yesterday."

"Mr. Monday is a little peculiar in fancying that the best English is to be met with in Lancas.h.i.+re," observed Sir George Templemore; "for I do a.s.sure you that, in town, we have difficulty in understanding gentlemen from your part of the kingdom."

This was a hard cut from one in whom Mr. Monday expected to find an ally, and that gentleman was driven to was.h.i.+ng down the discontent it excited, in punch.

"But all this time we have interrupted the _convoi_, or convoy, captain,"

said Mr. Sharp; "and Mr. Dodge, to say nothing of the mourners, has every right to complain. I beg that gentleman will proceed with his entertaining extracts."

Mr. Dodge hemmed, sipped a little more liquor, blew his nose, and continued:

"'The celebrated cemetery is, indeed, worthy of its high reputation. The utmost republican simplicity prevails in the interments, ditches being dug in which the bodies are laid, side by side, without distinction of rank, and with regard only to the order in which the convoys arrive.' I think this sentence, gentlemen, will have great success in America, where the idea of any exclusiveness is quite odious to the majority."

"Well, for my part," said the captain, "I should have no particular objection to being excluded from such a grave: one would be afraid of catching the cholera in so promiscuous a company."

Mr. Dodge turned over a few leaves, and gave other extracts.

"'The last six hours have been devoted to a profound investigation of the fine arts. My first visit was to the _gullyteen;_ after which I pa.s.sed an instructive hour or two in the galleries of the Musy.'--"

"Ou, done?"

"Le Musee, mademoiselle."

"--'Where I discovered several very extraordinary things, in the way of sculpture and painting. I was particularly struck with the manner in which a plate was portrayed in the celebrated marriage of Cana, which might very well have been taken for real Delft, and there was one finger on the hand of a lady that seemed actually fitted to receive and to retain the hymeneal ring.'"