Boku no Bungeibu ni Bitch ga Irunante Arienai Vol 1 Chapter 8.1

8. There are so many things I can’t do.

 

Last night, the newspaper club’s email address, which was opened to the public on our school homepage, received image data which was send from an unknown address. And, the first thing newspaper club did in the morning is to distribute newspaper extra for the students. So it didn’t take time for them to fall into the hands of teachers.
The color photo on the newspaper, is about Aizawa and a middle-aged man before they enter a love hotel, written carefully on the standing, pink illuminated signboard are the hotel’s name and break charge.
The princ.i.p.al held a special staff meeting immediately. Urotan (宇呂丹) high school is a famous s.h.i.+ngakukou (進学校) within the prefecture. The school side wanted to protect school’s reputation, they seemed to decide to remove the tumor before any bad rumors were spread.
「s.h.i.+t!」 (Kuso!) 
In the clubroom after school, I look over the extra once again while clenching my teeth.
Probably, we must have been photographed by the stalker at that time. If only I got a grip on myself more, such a thing……!
With regret and the feeling of remorse swirling, today, I was unable to concentrate on cla.s.s at all. But, to be in the same state as mine, there should be another person in my cla.s.s, because she didn’t show up, not even once today.
「That s.h.i.+nonome, she must have been trying her best for Aizawa……」
That girl is the only daughter of the s.h.i.+nonome conglomerate managing our school, her proposal must have an influence upon the teachers. Therefore surely, she must have been struggling in order to withdraw Aizawa, who can be called her close friend, dropping out of school. But it was really late, I kept on feeling nervous all day.
I wonder how Aizawa is doing……?
Recalling Aizawa’s tearful face last night. She cried that much only because she didn’t make good use of I and s.h.i.+nonome’s actions. What kind of reaction did she have when hearing about the expulsion? By only imagine it, I’m filled with anger towards myself like last night again.
At that time, the clubroom’s door is knocked. Awe-inspiringly entering the room, with a colder expression than usual is a girl with cleverness in her eyes…… [1]
「s.h.i.+nonome!! T, that’s great, I thought I couldn’t meet you here today!」
I who was waiting impatiently immediately stand up from the sofa and run towards.
「So? It’s nice when you sound exactly as I expected. However, only to here」
「E……That, what do you mean?」
In a flash, s.h.i.+nonome announces without looking at me with her chilly eyes.
「Aizawa Manaha’s expulsion was officially decided. Including the explanation to the parent and other procedures, the expulsion punishment will be carried out two days later. Because that woman is a member of literature club, I intend to report that to you for the time being」
Understanding that my last ray of hope is gone, I look downward, feeling dejected.
It’s not possible to blame s.h.i.+nonome. After all, this girl must have had a quarrel with the teachers for Aizawa’s sake from morning until now……I want to think so.
But, it’s not……
s.h.i.+nonome, just now, what did she called Aizawa who could be said as her close friend?
Similar to the previous time when she hated her, she said 『That woman』?
「Oi s.h.i.+nonome. I want to hear just in case but, until now, what have you done……?」
Without minding me who is in a state of beginning to scatter sparks, she brushes her smooth black hair.
「What I’ve done? I endlessly listened to the story of the teachers opposing my decision.
That woman, in contrast to her appearance she’s diligence so she’s popular with the teacher. Numerous teachers saying it was some kind of mistakes and requesting me to withdraw her expulsion. Even though the final decision from my ojiisama was transferred to the school, unexpectedly we end up wasting so much time uselessly」 [2]  (it’s about the “2 days later” part mentioned before)
「What are you saying? Your ways of talking, just like you make Aizawa drop out from school……」
「What a stupid man. It’s exactly what I said」
Feeling irritated from the bottom of my heart, my eyes slits narrowed.
「I attended at the staff meeting this morning as board chairman representation. That said, that seat is originally for the person managing the school administration and management, because I judged that it was detrimental to both sides, I gave a strict measure immediately」 [3]
「Wait! Aizawa appeared in that photograph was truly not a prost.i.tution, you are fully aware of that, aren’t you!? And yet you make your friend drop out from school like that!?」
Even if she is supposed to be expelled from school, it is too early to make a disposition.
I can understand the opinions appearing in various forms from the teachers.
「I have said before. I will be the next head of s.h.i.+nonome household, without a strong spirit I can’t manage the conglomerate alone. Something like a friend or companion is not needed, I must not do something like choosing my personal feelings over the organization」 [4]
But still, the disposition is too rushed.
Clearly it’s unthinkable for the usual s.h.i.+nonome to give such an unreasonable order. What makes her do that, why she is so hurry like that, I can’t understand,
「Aizawa did not do something like prost.i.tuting. If she’s expelled, I absolutely won’t forgive you」
「……Hee. You, still side with that woman like that?」
Seeing from her face, s.h.i.+nonome is slightly sad.
But it seems to be a mistake, s.h.i.+nonome finally shows a faint smile.
「If you want to prevent her expulsion, try your best at the whole school meeting held two days later. Regarding Aizawa Manaha’s punishment, we plan to listen to students’ opinions lastly. Maa, anyhow, before the decisive photo appeared, such a rumor existed from the start. although one might say that woman is popular, I think no one would protect her. Being forsaken by everybody like that, can a person like you do something I wonder?」
「Ugh……that……」
Understanding what s.h.i.+nonome said, I clench my fist.
「Fufu, cannot do anything right? Because of the trauma during the time in elementary school, you are afraid of standing out so it can’t be helped. A few weeks ago in cla.s.s, you would be fainted because of the pressure if I didn’t help you. There is no way someone like you would be able to propose anything in front of all students in our school」
At last, here I understand who is the enemy I have to deal with this time.
Obviously it’s myself. But, of course it’s not the real enemy.
If I can overcome my past trauma, I will become the ringleader plotting to save Aizawa on the stage. But I would make an enemy of the neat b.i.t.c.h I feared the most, s.h.i.+nonome Ibuki.
s.h.i.+nonome always obtains what she wanted. Doesn’t need to spend time, doesn’t need to dirty her hand, what she used is trickery (策略 = scheme/tactic/stratagem/trickery….)
「……In other words, in order to successfully help Aizawa I should obediently become yours, is what you mean, right?」
No answer. But looking at her lips, I can understand what she wants to say.
I find standing out loathsome, so she understands without fail that I would surrender beforehand?
For example, even if I overcome my trauma and is able to speak at the whole school meeting, what awaits me is the super high-spec human, s.h.i.+nonome Ibuki. Moreover, if I want to retort about Aizawa’s innocence, it won’t make sense before the evidence photograph. s.h.i.+nonome must have foreseen this, I am cornered into a situation in which there is only one option can be chosen. Then, following her expectation, is it fine for me to become s.h.i.+nonome’s thing?
……Iya, no matter how much I say for Aizawa’s sake, I can’t do such a thing. During middle school, I fell into the plan of a neat-type b.i.t.c.h, I had a bad time being treated as a practice tool for her in order to have a good date with her real boyfriend. I don’t want to think about such suffering, never again.
But, yesterday I understood that Aizawa is a good girl. Therefore, somehow or other, I want to help her. But, I just don’t know how. Kuso, what should I do in this situation? Someone, please tell me……
「In case you don’t want to stand out, what’s your answer, you should have known that right? Mou, there is not much time left, so please gather your thoughts as fast as possible」
「……Wait」
To s.h.i.+nonome who turns her back and is about to leave, I ask a question that I want to confirm by all means.
「Is it really fine? Do you really want your friend to be expelled? Did you forget that Aizawa called you 『Friend』?」
「……」
I feel like the current s.h.i.+nonome is not the real s.h.i.+nonome Ibuki, I ask a question, hoping to calm her down.
But s.h.i.+nonome, after a while she stops being silent and opens the door, looking somewhat lonely,
「Remember what that woman said, but not remember what I said」
Though I don’t understand the meaning of her words, a pain runs through my chest just like there is a thorn stuck on it.

While in cla.s.s next day, I look up at the cloudy sky affected by rainy weather.
Aizawa, who seems to be house arrested, is absent. Sitting on the seat behind me is s.h.i.+nonome, today we haven’t looked at each other’s eyes, and haven’t exchange any words either.
After school yesterday, I wanted to help Aizawa somehow. But, I went home, while being clung on by Sharte as usual, after rethinking very carefully about it I realized it was impossible.
After all, in order to help Aizawa, I must overcome my trauma to speak before all students in school, furthermore I have to persuade s.h.i.+nonome Ibuki. Absolutely impossible.
Therefore, it has reached the point that I think Aizawa dropping out from school has become inevitable.
That girl is not a b.i.t.c.h, I understand she’s a good girl who won’t do something like prost.i.tuting.
B, but……if you think carefully about it, didn’t Aizawa frequently buy and replace branded goods despite living in a fatherless family? B, besides, she didn’t answer when I asked what kind of part-time job she did……A, as expected that girl must be a prost.i.tution. That must be it.
I understand that in my mind, I don’t think so. But to justify my own weakness, I have no choice but to think like that to accept Aizawa’s expulsion.

After school, I go to the clubroom and s.h.i.+nonome is already there.
Tomorrow morning, homeroom period is removed, there will be a whole school meeting instead. Because s.h.i.+nonome is the board chairman representation, tomorrow morning she won’t have time to meet me. In other words, today is the last chance to ask her to help Aizawa. To hear my answer, s.h.i.+nonome must have been waiting in the clubroom.
Sitting on the sofa, I’m opposite to s.h.i.+nonome who is lowering her eyes, looking at a book.
To imitate s.h.i.+nonome, I take a light novel out of my bag and begin to read. Although s.h.i.+nonome slightly glance at me, I immerse myself in the fantasy world to run away from reality.
Aizawa who is a club member is in danger of being expelled, and yet, to think I’m here meekly enjoying a light novel.
Suddenly, thinking about this club being disbanded this Friday, I’m filled with a painful feeling.
Surely, the feeling of loss will be terrible if I lose the clubroom. But in such a feeling of loss, why is there a feeling of guilt to Aizawa? (remember, what he wants is a place to read stuffs so he’s afraid of losing the clubroom, not the club itself)
Currently, I may enjoy light novel because Aizawa is still only be house arrested. But, how about when I look at Aizawa being expelled while knowing she’s innocent? At that time, can I meekly enjoy it like now? School life without Aizawa, can I enjoy it when seeing the seat behind me becoming vacant?
When I notice it, the time to leave school has approached, the nearby area is already pitch-black. Standing up while holding my bag, I’m going to leave the room without calling out anything to s.h.i.+nonome who is still reading.
The last chance to ask to help Aizawa is now. If I miss this time, Aizawa’s expulsion will surely be settled. But I just leave as it is, closing the door with a trembling hand.
When I do so, I have a feeling that s.h.i.+nonome slightly stretch out her fingers, trying to stop me.
On my way home, I go to the electronic quarter located between the nearest station to my school and another station. (station > e. quarter > station > school) 
Originally from the beginning, I intended to wander around and enjoy window shopping at GAMERS (ゲーマーズ), Tora no Ana (とらのあな), Sofmap (ソフマッブ), Animate (アニメイト), etc… But it was no good. (those are famous shops in Akihabara)
I thought if I was surrounded by things I like, the feeling of guilt toward Aizawa surrounding me would be diverted and faded. However, it didn’t disappear at all. Rather, it became larger than it was before I left school.
Perhaps, how about this? In the past, I thought of going to somewhere like that once, so I enter an excellent, famous maid cafe 『E•maid』. In order to run away from reality, I think I want to experience the extraordinary in an ordinary day.
While looking over the menu, I also take a view of the calming state of the shop.
This is my first time in a maid cafe so I’m nervous……
Surprisingly, there are many salary men on their way home in the shop, most seats are filled. As this is an excellent maid cafe, all maid-sans in this floor are high level. Although they seem to be really busy, the girls warmly welcome their masters, serving them with sincerity.
「A」
It was me who thought that I wouldn’t have to think about unnecessary things if I was here. But that thought is crushed by a maid-san appearing from the interior. That maid-san has blonde hair which closely resembles someone, because their age are approximately the same, unpleasantly I remember her.
I immediately look down, turn away from her line of sight, I can’t stop tapping my foot unconsciously.
Because, that maid-san’s voice is exactly like Aizawa’s. Slightly raising my eyes, she has a perfect but somewhat awkward forced smile towards a male customer.
Eventually, she comes over to my table, with a cheerful, lively voice, (the word 明るく means “bright”/”cheerful” but also means “familiar”) 
「Goshujin-sama, here’s your cold water! Have you decided to order……eh?」(what the maids in maid cafe call you, it means “master”) 
She who is about to put down the water is staring at my face for some reason, and ends up missing her aim……
Pashaaaa!
All water in the gla.s.s is poured on my trouser.
「E……?」
I freeze in such a sudden event. But, the girl in front of me keeps staring while her whole body is frozen.
「……W, why is Ikuno here?」
The girl staring at me with her round, big eyes wide open while being surprised.
That is unmistakably, the girl who is currently supposed to be house arrested, Aizawa Manaha.

I come to the second-floor office. It’s a room similar to a dressing room where a was.h.i.+ng machine, store’s equipment stock, etc…. are put. In there, I wrap my lower half with a bath towel and sit down on a chair in front of a drying machine, waiting for my trouser and underwear to be dried.
「R, really sorry. I didn’t expect Ikuno to be here, I was astonished and……」
Aizawa, dressed in a neat maid uniform with black and white as the basic colors, looks at me awkwardly.
「I told you, it’s fine……」
I did the same thing before, so I couldn’t get angry.
「Other than that, the part-time job Aizawa said is at this maid cafe, right?」
「U, un」
「Etto……I don’t particularly want to criticize but, why you didn’t tell me when I wanted to hear it before? I don’t think this is not a job you should be ashamed to that extend?」
「That is……because, all the friends around me, falsify their age to work in caba, and yet I only have a part-time job like this, something like that is embarra.s.sing, isn’t it……」 (キヤパ, referring to cabaret/hostess club, I think?) 
High school students working in caba……as expected there are many girls like that among Aizawa’s friends?
「Maa, I think it’s particularly a normal part-time job…… I mean, if you are embarra.s.sed like that, Aizawa looks quite gaudy so I think your suitability to work in caba is not bad」
Because currently Aizawa is the person I want to meet the least, I can’t look at her face directly.
「Sokka……As expected, I’m not suitable for this, isn’t it?」
「Iya, it’s not what I mean」
「I, it’s fine. Everyone also said I was suited with gaudy things……」
Aizawa seems to be embarra.s.sed because she is seen wearing maid uniform, she blushes and turns to the opposite side,
「But working in caba, after all it’s no good. Working like that despite being a minor, I think it’s no good……and exposing things like b, breast or a.s.s is absolutely necessary there, isn’t it? I think too ecchi like that is no good, besides, I……am weak at talking to a man」
Because she’s talking to me normally so I forget, Aizawa got androphobia. But what is this, after reaffirming that Aizawa is a good girl, my feeling of guild grows even more……
「Other than that, Aizawa is supposed to be house arrested, isn’t it? Is it fine to work normally?」
「A, ahaha……no, it’s surely not. But, I can’t calm down without moving my body……」 Aizawa who finally turns her face to me shows a pitiful smile.
「Gomen. If I worried about Aizawa not wearing a disguise at that time, such a thing wouldn’t happen」
「U, uun! Ikuno doesn’t need to worry! Originally speaking, it was my bad for trying to putting on airs by lying to my friends…… Therefore Ibuki and Ikuno, please don’t mind at all!」
I know Aizawa would say that.
The waves of feelings in me grow bigger again.
「Just……Okaa-san, is a bit nonplussed. So I’m slightly worry」
「Is it about the prost.i.tuting thing……I understand it’s a lie, but she believed the explanation from the school side, didn’t she?」
Knowing the daughter she has been raising alone was prost.i.tuting herself, it must be a shock……
「Uun, it’s different, Ikuno. Okaa-san, after hearing me earnestly explaining the reason, believed that I didn’t prost.i.tute myself. 「Putting on airs by lying to friends, it really seems like you」 she smiled. But, as expected it seems like she can’t endure that I would be expelled…..」
Aizawa explains that during her time in middle school, because of economic circ.u.mstances it was really hard for her mother to let her go to high school. At that time her mother was very apologetic, it was too painful to watch.
「Therefore, I studied very hard for okaa-san’s sake. And I was able to enroll in Urotan with school expenses exemption……at that moment, okaa-san was delighted the most」
A good mother desiring her daughter’s happiness above all. But because of that, when her daughter was decided to be expelled for such an unreasonable reason, she must have received a considerable shock.
Wait, rather than for herself, did Aizawa do her best for her mother’s sake?
「Perhaps, Aizawa working in maid cafe is also for your mother’s sake or something?」
Then Aizawa laughs shyly.
「U, un……ahaha. Because our family finance was severe, I thought of wanting to be helpful to okaa-san even if just a little. So working with hourly wage like this is good, I feel so. If food expense and energy cost are saved, I think okaa-san will buy things she likes」
「……」
Why, why would there be such a good girl like that? I want to escape from the feeling of guilt tormenting my heart. For that reason, it’s absolutely necessary to prove she’s a b.i.t.c.h. Unless I prove she’s truly a l.u.s.tful b.i.t.c.h who prost.i.tute herself, I can’t make an excuse for not helping her.
I finally throw this question.
「Aizawa, you frequently bought and replace branded goods, why did you do that……?」
「E? Etto, about that……」
Aizawa blushes, she fixes her hair using her finger out of habit.
「To be honest, it’s to let okaa-san feel relieved」
Okaa-san again. Simply speaking, Aizawa is a very good, filial piety daughter.
「At the beginning when I entered high school, to her daughter who should have enjoyed the prime of her life, it seemed like okaa-san was very sorry because she couldn’t raise her allowance…… In addition to that, although I started working part-time, I wanted to save for the future so I didn’t use much money. But, because okaa-san didn’t see me using money and only put it at home, 「I cannot use the money you earned with much effort for myself」 she misunderstood and felt down…… 」
Hearing such a story, Aizawa’s mother seems to be a serious person because of indulgence…… [5]
Aizawa seems to understand what I though, she smiles bitterly,
「Therefore, I usually bought cheap branded goods from recycle shop, I could appeal to okaa-san for using money reasonably for herself. If she saw me wearing them regularly, she would feel relieved, right? Thanks to that, recently Okaa-san’s feeling of indebtedness related to not increasing my allowance seems to have disappeared」
It seems to be really nice as she smiles happily.
Aizawa’s innocence is perfectly proved at that moment. There is nothing more to doubt her.
And now I’m facing the feeling of guilt for trying to abandon Aizawa.
And then the drying machine stops, with a machinery sound informing that my trousers and underwear are dried.
Aizawa steps outside temporarily, I also leave the office resting room after finis.h.i.+ng changing my clothes.
「Hai, Ikuno, lastly, I give this to you!」
「E, this is……?」
Receiving a cute pink notebook, I am puzzled.
「Tomorrow, I will be expelled, won’t I? Therefore I won’t be a member of the literature club anymore……so, the notebook here written about how to prevent the club from being disbanded that I thought of, I give it to you. Although this Friday is the day so maybe there won’t be enough time but……I’m sure that it would help you find some members, maybe?」 [6]
Aizawa has a mixed expression of smiling and crying. That’s normal. She will be expelled although she truly didn’t prost.i.tute. Surely, it is unbearable just to think about that.
Then, why doesn’t Aizawa spit out her feelings? It’s simple.
Though I just noticed a while ago, I would get mad if water was spilled on my clothes like that. But Aizawa on that day, when I did a similar thing she only laughed and forgave me.
Although she will be expelled tomorrow, in such time she’s a kind girl who worries about other people. 「If I cried then you would surely blame yourself, wouldn’t you?」 is what she worries…..
But she overdid it. After all, at a glance I understand that Aizawa had cried for the whole night yesterday because her under eyes are red and swollen…… [7]
I put the notebook in my bag, then move to the office’s entrance and put my hand on the door.
「Ikuno……」
Looking back, after hesitating, Aizawa swallows the words she’s about to say. And then, with a smile,
「I’m sorry to only trouble you to the end. Don’t forget me, okay?」 [8]
I do not know how I should answer. In the situation where I’m puzzled about what kind of action myself should make tomorrow, I can’t say any irresponsible words. But, I’m certain about what I thought. [9]
After all, I don’t want to see something like Aizawa’s crying face.
「…..the maid uniform, originally I think it suits you」
I leave the room after finally said so.
Aizawa, while smiling and watching me, faintly said 「Don’t overwork yourself」 [10]

(part 2)
to be cont.