The Crux Part 7
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The girl stood still, half-way down the path, and looked steadily into that silver radiance. Moonlight always filled her heart with a vague excitement, a feeling that something ought to happen--soon.
This flat, narrow life, so long, so endlessly long--would nothing ever end it? Nine years since Morton went away! Nine years since the strange, invading thrill of her first kiss! Back of that was only childhood; these years really const.i.tuted Life; and Life, in the girl's eyes, was a dreary treadmill.
She was externally quiet, and by conscience dutiful; so dutiful, so quiet, so without powers of expression, that the ache of an unsatisfied heart, the stir of young ambitions, were wholly unsuspected by those about her. A studious, earnest, thoughtful girl--but study alone does not supply life's needs, nor does such friends.h.i.+p as her life afforded.
Susie was "a dear"--Susie was Morton's sister, and she was very fond of her. But that bright-haired child did not understand--could not understand--all that she needed.
Then came Mrs. St. Cloud into her life, stirring the depths of romance, of the buried past, and of the unborn future. From her she learned to face a life of utter renunciation, to be true, true to her ideals, true to her principles, true to the past, to be patient; and to wait.
So strengthened, she had turned a deaf ear to such possible voice of admiration as might have come from the scant members.h.i.+p of the Young Men's Bible Cla.s.s, leaving them the more devoted to Scripture study.
There was no thin ring to turn upon her finger; but, for lack of better token, she had saved the rose she wore upon her breast that night, keeping it hidden among her precious things.
And then, into the gray, flat current of her daily life, sharply across the trend of Mrs. St. Cloud's soft influence, had come a new force--Dr. Bellair.
Vivian liked her, yet felt afraid, a slight, s.h.i.+vering hesitancy as before a too cold bath, a subtle sense that this breezy woman, strong, cheerful, full of new ideas, if not ideals, and radiating actual power, power used and enjoyed, might in some way change the movement of her life.
Change she desired, she longed for, but dreaded the unknown.
Slowly she followed the long garden path, paused lingeringly by that rough garden seat, went through and closed the gate.
CHAPTER III.
THE OUTBREAK
There comes a time After white months of ice-- Slow months of ice--long months of ice-- There comes a time when the still floods below Rise, lift, and overflow-- Fast, far they go.
Miss Orella sat in her low armless rocker, lifting perplexed, patient eyes to look up at Dr. Bellair.
Dr. Bellair stood squarely before her, stood easily, on broad-soled, low-heeled shoes, and looked down at Miss Orella; her eyes were earnest, compelling, full of hope and cheer.
"You are as pretty as a girl, Orella," she observed irrelevantly.
Miss Orella blushed. She was not used to compliments, even from a woman, and did not know how to take them.
"How you talk!" she murmured shyly.
"I mean to talk," continued the doctor, "until you listen to reason."
Reason in this case, to Dr. Bellair's mind, lay in her advice to Miss Elder to come West with her--to live.
"I don't see how I can. It's--it's such a Complete Change."
Miss Orella spoke as if Change were equivalent to Sin, or at least to Danger.
"Do you good. As a physician, I can prescribe nothing better. You need a complete change if anybody ever did."
"Why, Jane! I am quite well."
"I didn't say you were sick. But you are in an advanced stage of _arthritis deformans_ of the soul. The whole town's got it!"
The doctor tramped up and down the little room, freeing her mind.
"I never saw such bed-ridden intellects in my life! I suppose it was so when I was a child--and I was too young to notice it. But surely it's worse now. The world goes faster and faster every day, the people who keep still get farther behind! I'm fond of you, Rella. You've got an intellect, and a conscience, and a will--a will like iron. But you spend most of your strength in keeping yourself down. Now, do wake up and use it to break loose! You don't have to stay here. Come out to Colorado with me--and Grow."
Miss Elder moved uneasily in her chair. She laid her small embroidery hoop on the table, and straightened out the loose threads of silk, the doctor watching her impatiently.
"I'm too old," she said at length.
Jane Bellair laughed aloud, shortly.
"Old!" she cried. "You're five years younger than I am. You're only thirty-six! Old! Why, child, your life's before you--to make."
"You don't realize, Jane. You struck out for yourself so young--and you've grown up out there--it seems to be so different--there."
"It is. People aren't afraid to move. What have you got here you so hate to leave, Rella?"
"Why, it's--Home."
"Yes. It's home--now. Are you happy in it?"
"I'm--contented."
"Don't you deceive yourself, Rella. You are not contented--not by a long chalk. You are doing your duty as you see it; and you've kept yourself down so long you've almost lost the power of motion. I'm trying to galvanize you awake--and I mean to do it."
"You might as well sit down while you're doing it, anyway," Miss Elder suggested meekly.
Dr. Bellair sat down, selecting a formidable fiddle-backed chair, the unflinching determination of its widely-placed feet being repeated by her own square toes. She placed herself in front of her friend and leaned forward, elbows on knees, her strong, intelligent hands clasped loosely.
"What have you got to look forward to, Rella?"
"I want to see Susie happily married--"
"I said _you_--not Susie."
"Oh--me? Why, I hope some day Morton will come back----"
"I said _you_--not Morton."
"Why I--you know I have friends, Jane--and neighbors. And some day, perhaps--I mean to go abroad."
"Are you scolding Aunt Rella again, Dr. Bellair. I won't stand it."
Pretty Susie stood in the door smiling.
"Come and help me then," the doctor said, "and it won't sound so much like scolding."
The Crux Part 7
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The Crux Part 7 summary
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