Three Plays Part 16

the other as the "Marchioness Matilda of Tuscany." Exits to Right and Left._

(_When the curtain goes up, the two valets jump down, as if surprised, from the stand on which they have been lying, and go and take their positions, as rigid as statues, on either side below the throne with their halberds in their hands.

Soon after, from the second exit, right, enter Harold, Landolph, Ordulph and Berthold, young men employed by the Marquis Charles Di Nolli to play the part of "Secret Counsellors" at the court of "Henry IV." They are, therefore, dressed like German knights of the XIth century.

Berthold, nicknamed Fino, is just entering on his duties for the first time. His companions are telling him what he has to do and amusing themselves at his expense. The scene is to be played rapidly and vivaciously_).

LANDOLPH (_to Berthold as if explaining_). And this is the throne room.

HAROLD. At Goslar.

ORDULPH. Or at the castle in the Hartz, if you prefer.

HAROLD. Or at Wurms.

LANDOLPH. According as to what's doing, it jumps about with us, now here, now there.

ORDULPH. In Saxony.

HAROLD. In Lombardy.

LANDOLPH. On the Rhine.

ONE OF THE VALETS (_without moving, just opening his lips_).

I say....

HAROLD (_turning round_). What is it?

FIRST VALET (_like a statue_). Is he coming in or not? (_He alludes to Henry IV._)

ORDULPH. No, no, he's asleep. You needn't worry.

SECOND VALET (_releasing his pose, taking a long breath and going to lie down again on the stand_). You might have told us at once.

FIRST VALET (_going over to Harold_). Have you got a match, please?

LANDOLPH. What? You can't smoke a pipe here, you know.

FIRST VALET (_while Harold offers him a light_). No; a cigarette. (_Lights his cigarette and lies down again on the stand_).

BERTHOLD (_who has been looking on in amazement, walking round the room, regarding the costumes of the others_). I say ... this room ... these costumes.... Which Henry IV. is it? I don't quite get it. Is he Henry IV. of France or not?

(_At this Landolph, Harold, and Ordulph, burst out laughing_).

LANDOLPH (_still laughing; and pointing to Berthold as if inviting the others to make fun of him_). Henry of France he says: ha! ha!

ORDULPH. He thought it was the king of France!

HAROLD. Henry IV. of Germany, my boy: the Salian dynasty!

ORDULPH. The great and tragic Emperor!

LANDOLPH. He of Canossa. Every day we carry on here the terrible war between Church and State, by Jove.

ORDULPH. The Empire against the Papacy!

HAROLD. Antipopes against the Pope!

LANDOLPH. Kings against antikings!

ORDULPH. War on the Saxons!

HAROLD. And all the rebels Princes!

LANDOLPH. Against the Emperor's own sons!

BERTHOLD (_covering his head with his hands to protect himself against this avalanche of information_). I understand! I understand! Naturally, I didn't get the idea at first. I'm right then: these aren't costumes of the XVIth century?

HAROLD. XVIth century be hanged!

ORDULPH. We're somewhere between a thousand and eleven hundred.

LANDOLPH. Work it out for yourself: if we are before Canossa on the 25th of January, 1071....

BERTHOLD (_more confused than ever_). Oh my G.o.d! What a mess I've made of it!

ORDULPH. Well, just slightly, if you supposed you were at the French court.

BERTHOLD. All that historical stuff I've swatted up!

LANDOLPH. My dear boy, it's four hundred years earlier.

BERTHOLD (_getting angry_). Good Heavens! You ought to have told me it was Germany and not France. I can't tell you how many books I've read in the last fifteen days.

HAROLD. But I say, surely you knew that poor t.i.to was Adalbert of Bremen, here?

BERTHOLD. Not a d.a.m.ned bit!

LANDOLPH. Well, don't you see how it is? When t.i.to died, the Marquis Di Nolli....

BERTHOLD. Oh, it was he, was it? He might have told me.

HAROLD. Perhaps he thought you knew.

LANDOLPH. He didn't want to engage anyone else in subst.i.tution. He thought the remaining three of us would do.

But _he_ began to cry out: "With Adalbert driven away....": because, you see, he didn't imagine poor t.i.to was dead; but that, as Bishop Adalbert, the rival bishops of Cologne and Mayence had driven him off....

BERTHOLD (_taking his head in his hand_). But I don't know a word of what you're talking about.

ORDULPH. So much the worse for you, my boy!

HAROLD. But the trouble is that not even we know who you are.