Nonsense Books Part 27

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There was an old man of Dumblane, Who greatly resembled a crane; But they said, "Is it wrong, since your legs are so long, To request you won't stay in Dumblane?"

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There was an old man of Port Grigor, Whose actions were noted for vigour; He stood on his head till his waistcoat turned red, That eclectic old man of Port Grigor.

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There was an old man of El Hums, Who lived upon nothing but crumbs, Which he picked off the ground, with the other birds round, In the roads and the lanes of El Hums.

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There was an old man of West Dumpet, Who possessed a large nose like a trumpet; When he blew it aloud, it astonished the crowd, And was heard through the whole of West Dumpet.

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There was an old person of Sark, Who made an unpleasant remark; But they said, "Don't you see what a brute you must be, You obnoxious old person of Sark!"

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There was an old man whose despair Induced him to purchase a hare: Whereon one fine day he rode wholly away, Which partly a.s.suaged his despair.

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There was an old person of Barnes, Whose garments were covered with darns; But they said, "Without doubt, you will soon wear them out, You luminous person of Barnes!"

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There was an old person of Nice, Whose a.s.sociates were usually Geese.

They walked out together in all sorts of weather, That affable person of Nice!

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There was a young lady of Greenwich, Whose garments were border'd with Spinach; But a large spotty Calf bit her shawl quite in half, Which alarmed that young lady of Greenwich.

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There was an old person of Cannes, Who purchased three fowls and a fan; Those she placed on a stool, and to make them feel cool She constantly fanned them at Cannes.

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There was an old person of Ickley, Who could not abide to ride quickly; He rode to Karnak on a tortoise's back, That moony old person of Ickley.

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There was an old person of Hyde, Who walked by the sh.o.r.e with his bride, Till a Crab who came near fill'd their bosoms with fear, And they said, "Would we'd never left Hyde!"

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There was an old person in gray, Whose feelings were tinged with dismay; She purchased two parrots, and fed them with carrots, Which pleased that old person in gray.

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There was an old man of Ancona, Who found a small dog with no owner, Which he took up and down all the streets of the town, That anxious old man of Ancona.

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There was an old person of Sestri, Who sate himself down in the vestry; When they said, "You are wrong!" he merely said "Bong!"

That repulsive old person of Sestri.

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There was an old person of Blythe, Who cut up his meat with a scythe; When they said, "Well! I never!" he cried, "Scythes for ever!"

That lively old person of Blythe.

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There was a young person of Ayr, Whose head was remarkably square: On the top, in fine weather, she wore a gold feather; Which dazzled the people of Ayr.

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There was an old person of Rimini, Who said, "Gracious! Goodness! O Gimini!"

When they said, "Please be still!" she ran down a hill, And was never more heard of at Rimini.

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There is a young lady, whose nose, Continually prospers and grows; When it grew out of sight, she exclaimed in a fright, "Oh! Farewell to the end of my nose!"

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There was an old person of Ealing, Who was wholly devoid of good feeling; He drove a small gig, with three Owls and a Pig, Which distressed all the people of Ealing.

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There was an old man of Thames Ditton, Who called out for something to sit on; But they brought him a hat, and said, "Sit upon that, You abruptious old man of Thames Ditton!"

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There was an old person of Bray, Who sang through the whole of the day To his ducks and his pigs, whom he fed upon figs, That valuable person of Bray.

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There was a young person whose history Was always considered a mystery; She sate in a ditch, although no one knew which, And composed a small treatise on history.

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There was an old person of Bow, Whom n.o.body happened to know; So they gave him some soap, and said coldly, "We hope You will go back directly to Bow!"