Redemption and two other plays Part 43

MARiNA. What have I to laugh at? I've come for my husband.

NIKiTA. Ah, Marina dear!

[Tries to embrace her.

MARiNA (steps angrily aside). You'd better drop that sort of thing, Nikita! What has been is past! I've come for my husband. Is he in your house?

NIKiTA. So I must not remember the past? You won't let me?

MARiNA. It's no use recalling the past! What used to be is over now!

NIKiTA. And can never come back, you mean?

MARiNA. And will never come back! But why have you gone away? You, the master,--and to go away from the feast!

NIKiTA (sits down on the straw). Why have I gone away? Eh, if you knew, if you had any idea.... I'm dull, Marina, so dull that I wish my eyes would not see! I rose from the table and left them, to get away from the people. If I could only avoid seeing any one!

MARiNA (coming nearer to him). How's that?

NIKiTA. This is how it is: when I eat, it's there! When I drink, it's there! When I sleep, it's there! I'm so sick of it--so sick! But it's chiefly because I'm all alone that I'm so sick, Marina. I have no one to share my trouble.

MARiNA. You can't live your life without trouble, Nikita. However, I've wept over mine and wept it away.

NIKiTA. The former, the old trouble! Ah, dear friend, you've wept yours away, and I've got mine up to there!

[Puts his hand to his throat.

MARiNA. But why?

NIKiTA. Why, I'm sick of my whole life! I am sick of myself! Ah, MARiNA, why did you not know how to keep me? You've ruined me, and yourself too! Is this life?

MARiNA (stands by the barn crying, but restrains herself). I do not complain of my life, Nikita! G.o.d grant every one a life like mine. I do not complain. I confessed to my old man at the time, and he forgave me. And he does not reproach me. I'm not discontented with my life.

The old man is quiet, and is fond of me, and I keep his children clothed and washed! He is really kind to me. Why should I complain? It seems G.o.d willed it so. And what's the matter with your life? You are rich....

NIKiTA. My life!... It's only that I don't wish to disturb the wedding feast, or I'd take this rope here (takes hold of the rope on the straw) and throw it across that rafter there. Then I'd make a noose and stretch it out, and I'd climb on to that rafter and jump down with my head in the noose! That's what my life is!

MARiNA. That's enough! Lord help you!

NIKiTA. You think I'm joking? You think I'm drunk? I'm not drunk!

To-day even drink takes no hold on me! I'm devoured by misery! Misery is eating me up completely, so that I care for nothing! Oh little Marina, it's only with you I ever lived! Do you remember how we used to while away the nights together at the railway?

MARiNA. Don't you rub the sores, Nikita! I'm bound legally now, and you too. My sin has been forgiven, don't disturb...

NIKiTA. What shall I do with my heart? Where am I to turn to?

MARiNA. What's there to be done? You've got a wife. Don't go looking at others, but keep to your own! You loved Anisya, then go on loving her!

NIKiTA. Oh, that Anisya, she's gall and wormwood to me, but she's round my feet like rank weeds!

MARiNA. Whatever she is, still she's your wife.... But what's the use of talking; you'd better go to your visitors, and send my husband to me.

NIKiTA. Oh dear, if you knew the whole business... but there's no good talking!

[Enter MARiNA'S husband, red and tipsy, and NAN.

MARiNA'S HUSBAND. Marina! Missis! My old woman! are you here?

NIKiTA. There's your husband calling you. Go!

MARiNA. And you?

NIKiTA. I? I'll lie down here for a bit!

[Lies down on the straw.

Husband. Where is she then?

NAN. There she is, near the barn.

HUSBAND. What are you standing there for? Come to the feast! The hosts want you to come and do them honor! The wedding party is just going to start, and then we can go too.

MARiNA (going towards her husband). I didn't want to go in.

HUSBAND. Come on, I tell you! You'll drink a gla.s.s to our nephew Peter's health, the rascal! Else the hosts might take offense! There's plenty of time for our business.

[MARiNA'S husband puts his arm around her, and goes reeling out with her.

NIKiTA (rises and sits down on the straw). Ah, now that I've seen her, life seems more sickening than ever! It was only with her that I ever really lived! I've ruined my life for nothing! I've done for myself!

(Lies down.) Where can I go? If mother earth would but open and swallow me!

NAN (sees NIKiTA, and runs towards him). Daddy, I say, daddy! They're looking for you! Her G.o.dfather and all of them have already blessed her. Truly they have, they're getting cross!

NIKiTA (aside). Where can I go to?

NAN. What? What are you saying?

NIKiTA. I'm not saying anything! Don't bother!

NAN. Daddy! Come, I say! (NIKiTA is silent, NAN pulls him by the hand.) Dad, go and bless them! My word, they're angry, they're grumbling!

NIKiTA (drags away his hand). Leave me alone!

NAN. Now then!

NIKiTA (threatens her with the rope). Go, I say! I'll give it you!

NAN. Then I'll send mother!