The Youth of Jefferson Part 24

"Mr. HOFFLAND:

"Your note is very strange. You ask me to advise you whom to take as your second; and then you lay down rules which I never heard of before. I suppose a gentleman can right his grievances without having to fight first and marry afterwards. What you write is so much like joking, that I don't know what to make of it. You seem to be very young and inexperienced, sir, and you say you have no friend but Mowbray.

"I'm obliged to you for your delicacy about Mowbray, but I cannot take it upon myself to advise any one else.--I hardly know how to write to you, for the whole thing seems a joke to you. If you were jesting in what you said, say so, sir, and we can shake hands. I don't want to take your blood for a joke, and especially as you are a stranger here.

"Your obed't serv't,

"J. DENIS."

VIII.

"Joking, my dear fellow? Of course I was joking! Did you think I really was in earnest when I said that I was so handsome, and was engaged already, et cetera, and so forth, as one of my friends used to say? I was jesting! For on my sacred word of honor, I am not engaged to any one--and yet I could not marry Lucy. I am wedded already--to my own ideas!

I am not my own master--and yet I have no mistress!

"But I ought not to be tiring you in this way. Why didn't you ask me if I was joking at first? Of course I was! I was laughing all the time and teasing you. It's enough to make me die a-laughing to think we were going to murder each other for joking. I was plaguing you! for I saw at once from what you said that you were hopelessly in----well, well! I won't tell your secrets.

"Yours truly,

"Charles HOFFLAND."

IX.

"Mr. HOFFLAND:

"I am very glad you were joking, and I am glad you have said so with manly courtesy--though I am at a loss to understand why you wished to 'tease' me. But I don't take offence, and am sure the whole matter was a jest. I hope you will not jest with me any more upon such a subject--I am very hasty; and my experience has told me that most men that fall in duels, are killed for this very jesting.

"As to what you say about my admiring Miss Mowbray, it is true in some degree, and I am not offended. As far as my part goes, we are as good friends as ever.

"Yours truly,

"J. DENIS."

X.

"Dear JACK:

"Your apology is perfectly satisfactory.--But I forgot! I made the apology myself! Well, it's all the same, and I am glad we haven't killed each other--for then, you know, we would have been dead now.

"Come round this evening to my lodging--one corner from Gloucester street, by the college, you know--and we'll empty a jolly bottle, get up a game of ombre with Mowbray, and make a night of it. Oh! I forgot!--my key has disappeared: I don't see it any where, and so, to my great regret, your visit must be deferred. What a pity!

"We shall meet this evening, when we shall embrace each other--figuratively--and pledge everlasting friends.h.i.+p.

"Devotedly till death,

"Charles HOFFLAND."

Thus was the great affair which agitated all Williamsburg for more than forty-eight hours arranged to the perfect satisfaction of all parties: though we must except that large and influential body the quidnuncs, who, as every body knows, are never satisfied with any thing which comes to an end without a catastrophe. The correspondence, as we have seen, had been confined to the princ.i.p.als, and the only public announcement was to the effect that "both gentlemen were satisfied"--which we regard as a very gratifying circ.u.mstance.

CHAPTER XV.

SENTIMENTS OF A DISAPPOINTED LOVER ON THE SUBJECT OF WOMEN.

Hoffland had just met and made friends with Jack Denis--"embraced him figuratively," to use his expression; and he and Mowbray were walking down Gloucester street, inhaling the pleasant air of the fine morning joyously.

Hoffland was smiling as usual. Mowbray's countenance wore its habitual expression of collected calmness--his clear eye as usual betrayed no emotion of any description.

"I feel better than if I was dead," said Hoffland, laughing, "and I know _you_ are glad, Ernest, that I am still alive."

"Sincerely," said Mowbray, smiling.

"Wasn't it a good idea of mine to carry on all the correspondence?"

"Yes; the result proves it in this instance. I thought that I could arrange the unhappy affair, but I believe you were right in taking it out of my hands--or rather, in never delivering it to me. Well, I am delighted that it is over. I could ill spare you or Denis; and G.o.d forbid that you should ever fall victims to this barbarous child's play, duelling."

"Ah! my dear fellow," replied Hoffland, "we men must have some tribunal above the courts of law; and then you know the women dote upon a duellist.

"Yes, Hoffland, as they dote upon an interesting monstrosity--the worse portion. Women admire courage, because it is the quality they lack--I mean animal courage, the mere faculty of looking into a pistol-muzzle calmly; and their admiration is so great that they are carried away by it. They admire in the same way a gay wild fellow; they do not dislike even a 'poor fellow--ah! very dissipated!' and this arises from the fact that they admire decided 'character' of any description, more than the want of character--even when the possesser of _character_ is led into vice by it."

"A great injustice!--a deep injustice!" said Hoffland "I wonder how you can say so!"

"I can say so because I believe it to be true--nay, I know it."

"Conceited!--you know women indeed!"

"Not even remotely; but listen. I was about to add that women admire reckless courage and excessive animal spirits. But let that courage lead a man to shed another's blood for a jest, or let that animal spirit draw a man into degrading and b.e.s.t.i.a.l advice--presto! they leave him!"

"And they are right!"

"Certainly."

"Well, sir?"

"But they are not the less wrong at first: the importance they attach to courage leads many boys and young men into murderous affrays--just as their satirical comments upon 'milky dispositions' lead thousands into vice."

"Oh, Ernest!"

"Do you deny it?"

"Wholly."

"Well, that only proves to me once more that you know nothing of women."