The English Spy Part 14

Who shall attempt to describe the sensations of a young and ardent mind just bursting from the trammels of scholastic discipline to breathe the purer air of cla.s.sic freedom--to leap at once from ~114~~ boyhood and subjection into maturity and unrestricted liberty of conduct; or who can paint the heart's agitation, the conflicting pa.s.sions which prevail when the important moment arrives that is to separate him from the a.s.sociates of his infancy; from the endearing friends.h.i.+ps of his earliest years; from his schoolboy sports and pastimes (often the most grateful recollections of a riper period); or from those ancient spires and familiar scenes to which his heart is wedded in its purest and earliest love.

Reader, if you have ever tasted of the delightful cup of youthful friends.h.i.+p, and pressed with all the glow of early and sincere attachment the venerable hand of a kind instructor, or met the wistful eye and hearty grasp of parting schoolfellows, and ancient dames, and obliging servants, you will easily discover how embarra.s.sing a task it must be to depict in words the agitating sensations which at such a moment spread their varied influence over the mind. I had taken care to secure the box seat of the old Oxford, that on my approach I might enjoy an uninterrupted view of the cla.s.sic turrets and lofty spires of sacred {Academus}. Contemplation had fixed his seal upon my young lips for the first ten miles of my journey. Abstracted and thoughtful, I had scarce turned my eye to admire the beauties of the surrounding scenery, or lent my ear to the busy hum of my fellow pa.s.sengers' conversation, when a sudden action of the coach, which produced a sensation of alarm, first broke the gloomy mist that had encompa.s.sed me. After my fears had subsided, I inquired of the coachman what was the name of the place we had arrived at, and was answered Henley.-"Stony Henley, sir," said our driver: "you might have discovered that by the _bit of a shake_ we just now experienced. I'll bet a _bullfinch_{1} that you know the place well enough, my young master, before you've been two terms at Oxford."

1 A sovereign.

~115~~

This familiarity of style struck me as deserving reprehension; but I reflected this cla.s.sic Jehu was perhaps licensed by the light-hearted sons of _Alma Mater_ in these liberties of speech. Suspending therefore my indignation, I proceeded,--"And why so?" said I inquisitively:--"Why I know when I was an under graduate{2} of ----, where my father was princ.i.p.al, I used to keep a good _prad_ here for a bolt to the village,{3} and then I had a fresh hack always on the road to help me back to chapel prayers."{4} The nonchalance of the speaker, and the easy indifference with which he alluded to his former situation in life, struck me with astonishment, and created a curiosity to know more of his adventures; he had, I found, brought himself to his present degradation by a pa.s.sion for gaming and driving, which had usurped every just and moral feeling. His father, I have since learned, felt his conduct deeply, and had been dead some time. His venerable mother having advanced him all her remaining property, was now reduced to a dependence upon the benevolence of a few liberal-minded Oxford friends, and this son of the once celebrated head of--------college was now so lost to every sense of shame that he preferred the Oxford road to exhibit himself on in his new character of a {university whip}.

2 The circ.u.mstances here narrated are unfortunately too notorious to require further explanation: the character, drawn from the life, forms the vignette to this chapter.

3 A cant phrase for a stolen run to the metropolis. No unusual circ.u.mstance with a gay Oxonian, some of whom have been known to ride the same horse the whole distance and back again after prayers, and before daylight the next morning.

4 When (to use the Oxford phrase) a man is confined to chapel, or compelled to attend chapel prayers, it is a dangerous risk to be missing,--a severe imposition and sometimes rustication is sure to be the penalty.

~116~~ Immediately behind me on the roof of the vehicle sat a rosy-looking little gentleman, the rotundity of whose figure proclaimed him a man of some substance; he was habited in a suit of clerical mixture, with the true orthodox hat and rosette in front, the broadness of its brim serving to throw a fine mellow shadow over the upper part of a countenance, which would have formed a choice study for the luxuriant pencil of some modern Rubens; the eyes were partially obscured in the deep recesses of an overhanging brow, and a high fat cheek, and the whole figure brought to my recollection a representation I had somewhere seen of Silenus reproving his Baccha.n.a.ls: the picture was the more striking by the contrasted subjects it was opposed to: on one side was a spare-looking stripling, of about the age of eighteen, with lank hair brushed smoothly over his forehead, and a demure, half-idiot-looking countenance, that seemed to catch what little expression it had from the reflection of its sire, for such I discovered was the ancient's affinity to this cadaverous importation from North Wales. The father, a Welsh rector of at least one hundred and fifty pounds per annum, was conveying his eldest born to the care of the princ.i.p.al of Jesus, of which college the family of the Joneses{5} had been a leading name since the time of their great ancestor Hugh ap Price, son of Rees ap Rees, a wealthy burgess of Brecknock, who founded this college for the sole use of the sons of Cambria, in 1571.

5 DAVID JONES OR, WINE AND WORSTED.

Hugh Morgan, cousin of that Hugh Whose cousin was, the Lord knows who, Was likewise, as the story runs, Tenth cousin of one David Jones.

David, well stored with cla.s.sic knowledge, Was sent betimes to Jesus College; Paternal bounty left him clear For life one hundred pounds a year; And Jones was deem'd another Croesus Among the Commoners of Jesus.

It boots not here to quote tradition, In proof of David's erudition;-- He could unfold the mystery high, Of Paulo-posts, and verbs in u; Scan Virgil, and, in mathematics, Prove that straight lines were not quadratics.

All Oxford hail'd the youth's _ingressus_, And wond'ring Welshmen cried "Cot pless us!"

It happen'd that his cousin Hugh Through Oxford pa.s.s'd, to Cambria due, And from his erudite relation Receiv'd a written invitation.

~117~~

Hugh to the college gate repair'd, And ask'd for Jones;--the porter stared!

"Jones! Sir," quoth he, "discriminate: Of Mr. Joneses there be eight."

"Ay, but 'tis David Jones," quoth Hugh; Quoth porter, "We've six Davids too."

"Cot's fles.h.!.+" cries Morgan, "cease your mockings, My David Jones wears worsted stockings!"

Quoth porter, "Which it is, Heaven knows, For all the eight wear worsted hose."

"My Cot!" says Hugh, "I'm ask'd to dine With cousin Jones, and quaff his wine."

"That one word 'wine' is worth a dozen,"

Quoth porter, "now I know your cousin; The wine has stood you, sir, in more stead Than David, or the hose of worsted; You'll find your friend at number nine-- We've but one Jones that quaffs his wine."

All these particulars I gleaned from the rapid delivery of the Welsh rector, who betrayed no little anxiety to discover if I was of the university; how long I had been matriculated; what was my opinion of the schools, and above all, if the same system of extravagance was pursued by the students, and under-graduates. Too cautious to confess myself a freshman, I was therefore compelled to close the inquiry with a simple negative to his early questions, and an avowal of my ignorance in the last particular. The deficiency was, however, readily supplied by an old gentleman, who sat on the other side of the reverend Mr. Jones. I had taken ~118~~ him, in the first instance, for a doctor of laws, physic, or divinity, by the studied neatness of his dress, the powdered head, and ancient appendage of a _queue_; with a measured manner of delivery, joined to an affected solemnity of carriage, and authoritative style.

He knew every body, from the Vice-Chancellor to the scout; ran through a long tirade against driving and drinking, which he described as the capital sins of the sons of _Alma Mater_, complimented the old rector on his choice of a college for his son, and concluded with lamenting the great extravagance of the young men of the present day, whose affection for long credit compelled honest tradesmen to make out long bills to meet the loss of interest they sustain by dunning and delay. "Observe, sir," said he,

"The youth of England in our happy age!

See, to their view what varied pleasure springs, Cards, tennis, hilliards, and ten thousand things; 'Tis theirs the coat with neater grace to wear, Or tie the neckcloth with a royal air: The rapid race of wild expense to run; To drive the tandem or the chaise and one; To float along the Isis, or to fly In haste to Abingdon,--who knows not why?

To gaze in shops, and saunter hours away In raising bills, they never think to pay: Then deep carouse, and raise their glee the more, While angry duns a.s.sault th' unheeding door, And feed the best old man that ever trod, The merry poacher who defies his G.o.d."

"You forget the long purses, Sir E--," said our cla.s.sical Jehu, "which some of the Oxford tradesmen have acquired by these long practices of the university, Sir E--." The little Welsh rector bowed with astonishment, while his rustic scion stared with wild alarm to find himself for the first time in his life in company with a man of t.i.tle. A wink from coachee accompanied with an action of his _rein angle_ against my side, followed by a suppressed laugh, prepared me ~119~~ for some important communications relative to my fellow traveller. "An old _snyder_,"{6} whispered Jehu, "who was once mayor of Oxford, and they do say was knighted by mistake,--' a thing of shreds and patches,'

'Who, by short skirts and little capes, Items for buckram, twist, and tapes, '

has, in his time, fine drawn half the university; but having retired from the seat of trade, now seeks the seat of the Muses, and writes fustian rhymes and bell-men's odes at Christmas time: a mere clod, but a great man with the corporation."

We had now arrived on the heights within a short distance of the city of Oxford, and I had the gratification for the first time to obtain a glance of sacred _Academus_ peeping from between the elm groves in which she is embowered, to view those turrets which were to be the future scene of all my hopes and fears. Never shall I forget the sensations,

"----When first these glistening eyes survey'd Majestic Oxford's hundred towers display'd; And silver Isis rolling at her feet Adorn the sage's and the poet's seat: Saw Radcliffe's dome in cla.s.sic beauty rear'd, And learning's stores in Bodley's pile revered; First view'd, with humble awe, the steps that stray'd Slow in the gloom of academic shade, Or framed in thought, with fancy's magic wand, Wise Bacon's arch; thy bower, fair Rosamond."

In the bosom of a delightful valley, surrounded by the most luxuriant meadows, and environed by gently swelling hills, smiling in all the pride of cultivated beauty, on every side diversified by hanging wood, stands the fair city of learning and the arts. The two great roads from the capital converge upon the small church of St. Clement, in the eastern suburb, from whence, advancing in a westerly direction, you ~120~~ arrive at Magdalen bridge, so named from the college adjoining, whose lofty graceful tower is considered a fine specimen of architecture. The prospect of the city from this point is singularly grand and captivating; on the left, the botanical garden, with its handsome portal; beyond, steeples and towers of every varied form shooting up in different degrees of elevation. The view of the High-street is magnificent, and must impress the youthful mind with sentiments of awe and veneration. Its picturesque curve and expansive width, the n.o.ble a.s.semblage of public and private edifices in all the pride of varied art, not rising in splendid uniformity, but producing an enchantingly varied whole, the entire perspective of which admits of no European rival--

"The awful tow'rs which seem for science made; The solemn chapels, which to prayer invite, Whose storied windows shed a holy light--"

the colleges of Queen's and All Souls', with the churches of St. Mary and All Saints' on the northern side of the street, and the venerable front of University College on the south, present at every step objects for contemplation and delight. Whirling up this graceful curvature, we alighted at the Mitre, an inn in the front of the High-street, inclining towards Carfax. A number of under graduates in their academicals were posted round the door, or lounging on the opposite side, to watch the arrival of the coach, and amuse themselves with quizzing the pa.s.sengers.

Among the foremost of the group, and not the least active, was my old schoolfellow and con, Tom Echo, now of Christ Church. The recognition was instantaneous; the welcome a hearty one, in the true Etonian style; and the first connected sentence an invitation to dinner. "I shall make a party on purpose to introduce you, old chap," said Tom, "that is, ~121~~ as soon as you have made your bow to the _big wig_:{7} but I say, old fellow, where are you entered 1 we are most of us overflowingly full here." I quickly satisfied his curiosity upon that point, by informing him I had been for some time enrolled upon the list of the foundation of Brazennose, and had received orders to come up and enter myself. Our conversation now turned upon the necessary ceremonies of matriculation.

Tom's face was enlivened to a degree when I showed him my letter of introduction to Dr. Dingyman, of L-n college. "What, the opposition member, the Oxford Palladio? Why, you might just as well expect to move the Temple of the Winds from Athens to Oxford, without displacing a fragment, as to hope the doctor will present you to the vice-chancellor.--It won't do. We must find you some more tractable personage; some good-humoured n.o.b that stands well with the princ.i.p.als, tells funny stories to their ladies, and drinks his three bottles like a true son of orthodoxy." "For Heaven's sake! my dear fellow, if you do not wish to be pointed at, booked for an eccentric, or suspected of being profound, abandon all intention of being introduced through that medium. A first interview with that singular man will produce an examination that would far exceed the perils of the _great go_{8}-he will try your proficiency by the chart and scale of truth." "Be that as it may, Tom," said I, not a little alarmed by the account I had heard of the person to whom I was to owe my first introduction to alma mater, "I shall make the attempt; and should I fail, I shall yet hope to avail myself of your proffered kindness."

7 A BIG WIG. Head of a college.

A DON. A learned man.

A n.o.b. A fellow of a college.

8 The princ.i.p.al examining school.

~122~~

After partaking of some refreshment, and adjusting my dress, we sallied forth to lionise, as Tom called it, which is the Oxford term for gazing about, usually applied to strangers. Proceeding a little way along the high street from the Mitre, and turning up the first opening on our left hand, we stood before the gateway of Lincoln college. Here Tom shook hands, wished me a safe pa.s.sport through what he was pleased to term the "_Oxonia purgata_" and left me, after receiving my promise to join the dinner party at Christ Church.

I had never felt so awkwardly in my life before: the apprehensions I was under of a severe examination; the difficulty of encountering a man whose superior learning and endowments of mind had rendered him the envy of the University, and above all, his reputed eccentricity of manners, created fears that almost palsied my tongue when I approached the hall to announce my arrival. If my ideas of the person had thus confounded me, my terrors were doubly increased upon entering his chamber: shelves groaning with ponderous folios and quartos of the most esteemed Latin and Greek authors, fragments of Grecian and Roman architecture, were disposed around the room; on the table lay a copy of Stuart's Athens, with a portfolio of drawings from Palladio and Vitruvius, and Pozzo's perspective. In a moment the doctor entered, and, advancing towards me, seized my hand before I could scarcely articulate my respects. "I am glad to see you--be seated--you are of Eton, I read, an ancient name and highly respected here--what works have you been lately reading?" I immediately ran through the list of our best school cla.s.sics, at which I perceived the doctor smiled. "You have been treated, I perceive, like all who have preceded you: the bigotry of scholastic prejudices is intolerable. I have been for fifty years labouring to remove the veil, and have yet contrived ~123~~ to raise only one corner of it. Nothing,"

continued the doctor, "has stinted the growth and hindered the improvement of sound learning more than a superst.i.tious reverence for the ancients; by which it is presumed that their works form the summit of all learning, and that nothing can be added to their discoveries.

Under this absurd and ridiculous prejudice, all the universities of Europe have laboured for many years, and are only just beginning to see their error, by the encouragement of natural philosophy. Experimental learning is the only mode by which the juvenile mind should be trained and exercised, in order to bring all its faculties to their proper action: instead of being involved in the mists of antiquity." Can it be possible, thought I, this is the person of whom my friend Tom gave such a curious account? Can this be the man who is described as a being always buried in abstracted thoughtfulness on the architer cural remains of antiquity, whose opinions are said never to harmonize with those of other heads of colleges; who is described as eccentric, because he has a singular veneration for truth, and an utter abhorrence of the dogmas of scholastic prejudice 1 There are some few characters in the most elevated situations of life, who possess the amiable secret of attaching every one to them who have the honour of being admitted into their presence, without losing one particle of dignity, by their courteous manner. This agreeable qualification the doctor appeared to possess in an eminent degree. I had not been five minutes in his company before I felt as perfectly unembarra.s.sed as if I had known him intimately for twelve months. It could not be the result of confidence on my part, for no poor fellow ever felt more abashed upon a first entrance; and must therefore only be attributable to that indescribable condescension of easy intercourse which is the sure characteristic of a superior mind.

~124~~ After inquiring who was to be my tutor, and finding I was not yet fixed in that particular, I was requested to construe one of the easiest pa.s.sages in the aeneid; my next task was to read a few paragraphs of monkish Latin from a little white book, which I found contained the university statutes: having acquitted myself in this to the apparent satisfaction of the doctor, he next proceeded to give me his advice upon my future conduct and pursuits in the university; remarked that his old friend, my father, could not have selected a more unfortunate person to usher me into notice: that his habits were those of a recluse, and his a.s.sociations confined almost within the walls of his own college; but that his good wishes for the son of an old friend and schoolfellow would, on this occasion, induce him to present me, in person, to the princ.i.p.al of Brazennose, of whom he took occasion to speak in the highest possible terms. Having ordered me a sandwich and a gla.s.s of wine for my refreshment, he left me to adjust his dress, preparatory to our visit to the dignitary. During his absence I employed the interval in amusing myself with a small octavo volume, ent.i.tled the "Oxford Spy:" the singular coincidence of the following extract according so completely with the previous remarks of the doctor, induced me to believe it was his production; but in this suspicion, I have since been informed, I was in error, the work being written by Shergold Boone, Esq.

a young member of the university.

"Thus I remember, ere these scenes I saw, But hope had drawn them, such as hope will draw, A shrewd old man, on Isis' margin bred, Smiled at my warmth, and shook his wig, and said: 'Youth will be sanguine, but before you go, Learn these plain rules, and treasure, when you know.

Wisdom is innate in the gown and band; Their wearers are the wisest of the land.

~125~~

Science, except in Oxford, is a dream; In all things heads of houses are supreme {9} Proctors are perfect whosoe'er they be; Logic is reason in epitome: Examiners, like kings, can do no wrong; All modern learning is not worth a song: Pa.s.sive obedience is the rule of right; To argue or oppose is treason quite:{10} Mere common sense would make the system fall: Things are worth nothing; words are all in all."

On his return, the ancient glanced at the work I had been reading, and observing the pa.s.sage I have just quoted, continued his remarks upon the discipline of the schools.--"In the new formed system of which we boast,"

said the master, "the philosophy which has enlightened the world is omitted or pa.s.sed over in a superficial way, and the student is exercised in narrow and contracted rounds of education, in which his whole labour is consumed, and his whole time employed, with little improvement or useful knowledge. He has neither time nor inclination to attend the public lectures in the several departments of philosophy; nor is he qualified for that attendance. All that he does, or is required to do, is to prepare himself to pa.s.s through these contracted rounds; to write a theme, or point an epigram; but when he enters upon life, action, or profession, both the little go, and the great go, he will find to be a by go; for he will find that he has gone by the best part of useful and substantial learning;

9 Know all men by these presents, that children in the uni- versities eat pap and go in leading strings till they are fourscore. --Terro Filius.

10 In a work quaintly ent.i.tled "Phantasm of an University,"

there occurs this sweeping paragraph, written in the true spirit of radical reform: "Great advantages might be obtained by gradually transforming Christ Church into a college of civil polity and languages; Magdalen, Queen's, University, into colleges of moral philosophy; New and Trinity into colleges of fine arts; and the five halls into colleges of agriculture and manufactures."

126~~ or that it has gone by him: to recover which he must repair from this famous seat of learning to the inst.i.tutions of the metropolis, or in the provincial towns. I have just given you these hints, that you may escape the errors of our system, and be enabled to avoid the pomp of learning which is without the power, and acquire the power of knowledge without the pomp." Here ended the lecture, and my venerable conductor and myself made the best of our way to pay our respects to the princ.i.p.al of my future residence.

Arrived here--the princ.i.p.al, a man of great dignity, received us with all due form, and appeared exceedingly pleased with the visit of my conductor; my introduction was much improved by a letter from the head master of Eton, who, I have no doubt, said more in my favour than I deserved. The appointment of a tutor was the next step, and for this purpose I was introduced to Mr. Jay, a smart-looking little man, very polite and very portly, with whom I retired to display my proficiency in cla.s.sical knowledge, by a repet.i.tion of nearly the same pa.s.sages in Homer and Virgil I had construed previously with the learned doctor; the next arrangement was the sending for a tailor, who quickly produced my academical robes and cap, in the which, I must confess, I at first felt rather awkward. I was now hurried to the vice-chancellor's house adjoining Pembroke college, where I had the honour of a presentation to that dignitary; a mild-looking man of small stature, with the most affable and graceful manners, dignified, and yet free from the slightest tinge of _hauteur_. His reception of my tutor was friendly and unembarra.s.sing; his inquiries relative to myself directed solely to my proficiency in the cla.s.sics, of which I had again to give some specimens; I was then directed to subscribe my name in a large folio alb.u.m, which proved to contain the thirty-nine articles, not one ~127~~ sentence of which I had ever read; but it was too late for hesitation, and I remembered Tom Echo had informed me I should have to attest to a great deal of nonsense, which no one ever took the pains to understand.