Social Life Part 16

48 Was.h.i.+ngton Street.

Gatherings such as these partake of the nature of semi-formal receptions and present a delightful opportunity for welcoming friends to the new home, and at same time arranging a visiting list for the season, no one receiving a card to these entertainments that is not to be honored with a place thereon. These invitations are to be sent out after the return from the bridal tour, and, when thus used, the first-given "At Home" card is omitted in sending out the wedding invitation.

If the wedding is to be a morning affair from the church, followed by a breakfast, the first given invitation is issued and the following engraved card enclosed in the same envelope: MR. and MRS. RICHARD EARLE request the pleasure of your company at breakfast, Tuesday, June twentieth, at half past twelve o'clock. 107 Was.h.i.+ngton Street.

"At Home" cards and cards to the church should be enclosed as before.

The time should be carefully arranged so that not more than half an hour is allowed to elapse between the ceremony at the church and the reception or breakfast at the house.

A home wedding with a breakfast simply sends out the ordinary wedding invitation, indicating the hour and giving the street and number.

Sometimes, at a home wedding, it is desired that no one but relatives or very particular friends should be present at the ceremony. Under these circ.u.mstances the usual invitations are issued. Then, for the favored few, ceremony cards are enclosed, on which the words are engraved: Ceremony at half past eight.

"At Home" cards may be enclosed as before.

Where the wedding has been entirely private, the mother, or some other relative of the bride, frequently gives a reception upon the return home of the young couple, invitations to which are issued as follows: MRS. RICHARD EARLE, MRS. EGBERT RAY CRANSTON. At Home, Wednesday, September first, from four to ten o'clock. 107 Was.h.i.+ngton Street.

For an evening reception the form is a little different: MR. and MRS.

RICHARD EARLE request the pleasure of your company, Thursday, September second, from nine to eleven o'clock. 107 Was.h.i.+ngton Street.

Enclosing the card of Mr. and Mrs. Egbert Ray Cranston.

Announcement Cards.

Announcement cards, where the wedding has been strictly private, are sent out after the following style: MR. and MRS. RICHARD EARLE announce the marriage of their daughter, GUENDOLEN, to MR. EGBERT RAY CRANSTON, Tuesday, November nineteenth, 1895. 107 Was.h.i.+ngton Street.

The before-given "At Home" cards may be enclosed, or the necessary information conveyed by having engraved in the lower left hand corner of the sheet of note paper: At Home, after December first, at 48 Was.h.i.+ngton Street.

Another form of announcement is also used: EGBERT RAY CRANSTON.

GUENDOLEN EARLE. Married, Tuesday, November nineteenth, 1895.

Binghamton. With this form use "At Home" cards, or engrave the street and number in the lower left hand corner of the announcement card.

This form is permissible in any case, but is more frequently employed where there are neither parents nor relatives to send out the announcement.

If the wedding should have taken place during a season of family mourning or misfortune, the bridegroom himself issues the following announcement: MR. and MRS. EGBERT RAY CRANSTON, 48 Was.h.i.+ngton Street.

These cards are large and square, and in the same envelope with them is enclosed a smaller card engraved with the maiden name of the bride: MISS GUENDOLEN EARLE.

Wedding Anniversaries.

[Ill.u.s.tration:

_1885._

_1890._

_Wooden Wedding._

_Mr. and Mrs. Theodore Grant,_

_At Home,_

_Thursday evening, December fifth, 1895,_

_At half-past eight o'clock._

_263 East Thirteenth Street._]

In sending out invitations for the various anniversaries that pleasantly diversify the years of a long wedded life, the simplest form will always be found in the best taste. There are varied devices for rendering these invitations striking in effect, such as silvered and gilded cards for silver and golden weddings, thin wooden cards for the wooden wedding, etc., but good taste would indicate that none of these, not even gold and silver lettering (though this last is least objectionable of all), should be used. The large engraved "At Home"

card, or the small sheet of heavy note paper, also engraved, are the most elegant.

"No Presents Received."

The words, "No presents received," are sometimes engraved in the lower left hand corner of the note sheet, or card. A much-to-be-admired custom, since the multiplicity of invitations requiring gifts, is, in more cases than one, burdensome to the recipient.

Revise the Visiting List.

Now, that it has become the custom to engage the services of an amanuensis to direct the invitations for a crush affair by the hundred, it would be well for every hostess to frequently revise her visiting list, in order that the relatives of lately deceased friends may not be pained by seeing the dear lost name included among the invitations of the family; also, this care is necessary to remove the names of those who have recently departed from the city, and those whose acquaintance is no longer desired.

ACCEPTANCES AND REGRETS

[Ill.u.s.tration]

The essence of all etiquette is to be found in the observance of the spirit of the Golden Rule. Perhaps in no one point is the "do unto others as ye would that they should do unto you," more applicable than in the prompt acknowledgment of either a formal or a friendly invitation. This acknowledgment may be either denial or a.s.sent, but whatever the form, it is requisite that the proffered courtesy should be answered by a prompt and decisive acceptance or refusal. This is a duty owed by an invited guest to his prospective host or hostess and one that should never be neglected.

Answering an Invitation.

In accepting or declining an invitation close attention should be paid to the form in which it is written and the same style followed in the answer. For instance: should the invitation be formal, the answer should preserve the same degree of formality; while a friendly invitation in note form should meet with an acceptance or regret couched in the same terms. Another rule to be rigidly observed is, that the acceptance or refusal must be written in the same person that characterized the invitation. For instance: if "Mr. and Mrs. Algernon Smith request the pleasure of the company of Mr. and Mrs. Joseph Bronson at dinner, etc.," with equal stateliness "Mr. and Mrs. Joseph Bronson accept with pleasure the kind invitation of Mr. and Mrs.

Algernon Smith." To do otherwise would imply ignorance of the very rudiments of social or grammatical rules.

A friendly note of invitation, beginning somewhat after this fas.h.i.+on: "Mr. Smith and I would be pleased to have you and Mr. Brown, etc.,"

would be accepted or declined in the same fas.h.i.+on and person, as: "Mr.

Brown and I accept with pleasure your kind invitation, etc." To answer such an invitation with a formal acceptance, or regret, written in the third person, as given above, would display profound ignorance of social customs.

An acceptance or regret, written in the first person, receives the signature of the writer, but one written in the third person remains unsigned. To sign it would produce a confusion of persons and be ungrammatical to the last degree. Another error to be avoided is that of beginning in this fas.h.i.+on: "I accept with pleasure the kind invitation of Mr. and Mrs. John Jones," this also producing a change of person altogether inadmissible. Neither must one be betrayed into the mistake of using the words, "will accept," thus throwing the acceptance into the future tense, when, in reality, you _do_ accept, in the present tense, at the moment of writing.

Accepting a Dinner Invitation.

Inc.u.mbent upon us as it is to answer the majority of our invitations in either the affirmative or negative, there are degrees of necessity even here, for, sin as we may in all other particulars, there is an unwritten code like unto the laws of the Medes and Persians which declareth that the invitations to a dinner are not to be lightly set aside. First, an invitation to a dinner is the highest social compliment that a host and hostess can pay to those invited, and, second, the guests are limited in number and painstakingly arranged in congenial couples by the careful hostess. Judge, then, of her disappointment, when, at the last moment, some delinquent sends in a hasty regret leaving little or no time to fill that terror of all dinner-givers, that skeleton at the feast, an empty chair. One such failure is sufficient to ruin the most carefully-arranged table and is an injury to host and hostess that only the occurrence of some unforeseen calamity can justify.

[Ill.u.s.tration: ANSWERING AN INVITATION.]