Social Life Part 73

A married lady should always be addressed by her husband's name preceded by "Mrs.," except in case of well-known names, such as Mrs.

Potter Palmer, or Mrs. Isabella B. Hooker. A widow is no longer called by her husband's given name, but reverts to her own christened cognomen, preceded by "Mrs." Thus, Mrs. James H. Hayes in her widowhood is, to every one, Mrs. Helen B. Hayes. An exception to this would be in the case of such well-known names as Abraham Lincoln, or James G. Blaine, where custom grants the widow the right to bear the beloved t.i.tle.

The superscription or address should be written plainly (if speedy delivery is expected) upon the lower half of the envelope, the flap being at the top. The t.i.tle and name form one line with about an equal s.p.a.ce at each end. The writing should be just below the middle of the envelope. The street number, the name of the city and the state each form a separate line, one below the other, and each should begin a little to the right of the one above, so that the last line will approach nearly to the lower right-hand corner of the envelope. The county or number of post office box may be given in the lower left-hand corner. Where there is no street number the county, or even the box number, may be written directly beneath the name of the town.

The stamp should be invariably placed squarely and right-side up in the upper right-hand corner. A request for return in a given time may be written, if necessary, in the upper left-hand corner.

A physician is addressed thus: DR. ALBERT YOUNG, Watseka, Iowa. Or, ALBERT YOUNG, M.D., Watseka, Iowa.

In addressing the wife of a doctor the following formula may be used: MRS. DR. ALBERT YOUNG, Watseka, Iowa.

The strictest etiquette, however, would involve writing: MRS. ALBERT YOUNG, care of Dr. Albert Young, Watseka, Iowa.

[Ill.u.s.tration: THE PLACE FOR STAMP AND SUPERSCRIPTION.]

Either of the above forms may be taken for addressing the wife of a professor, an army or United States official, a minister or a legal dignitary, always remembering that the longer is more elegant, as: MRS. MELVILLE B. FULLER, care of the Hon. Melville B. Fuller, Chief Justice of the United States, Was.h.i.+ngton, D.C.

The President, however, would be addressed: To the President, Executive Mansion, Was.h.i.+ngton, D.C.

This is the simplest form, and as such, in the best taste, but it is sometimes written: To the President of the United States, HONORABLE GROVER CLEVELAND.

"His Excellency" was formerly used in addressing the President and the Governors of States, but it is largely abandoned as inconsistent with the lack of t.i.tles in our country. The same rule is observed in writing to the Governor of a State: To the Governor, Gubernatorial Mansion, Springfield, Ill. Or, To the Governor, ROBERT P. MORTON, Albany, N.Y.

A member of the Cabinet: To the Honorable, the Secretary of the Interior, Was.h.i.+ngton, D.C. A State official has the following address: DR. JOHN C. WYATT, Secretary of the State Board of Charity, Springfield, Ill. In addressing one person in care of another the form would be: MRS. JOHN DRAPER, Grand de Tour, Ill. Care Dr. I.S. Prime.

A note to be delivered by a friend is always unsealed and usually addressed: MISS FLORENCE WARDEN, Va.s.sar College, Poughkeepsie, N.Y.

Kindness of MR. G.A. RHODES. A still better form is to simply use the address of the person without farther preamble.

Always fold a letter sheet so that the opening lines face the reader on unfolding.

Punctuation Marks.

Punctuation and capitalization are very necessary matters in the art of letter-writing, but in these days of common schools, and all but compulsory education, it is to be supposed that some knowledge of these important facts will have been gained. It will not be amiss, however, to mention a few of the most necessary rules.

The four chief punctuation points are the comma, semicolon, colon, period. In the days of our grandmothers children were taught to "mind their stops," with this rule for a guide: "Count one at a comma, two at a semicolon, three at a colon, and four at a period, or 'full stop.'"

In punctuating the date, address, closing and superscription of a letter, certain rules are necessary. One of these is that a period follows all abbreviations, such as those of t.i.tle, state and county, and separates and follows all initials, whether abbreviations of names or t.i.tles; while the slight pause occurring between such abbreviations is marked by a comma, and the end of the date, like the end of a sentence, is closed by a period; for example: 540 West Main St., Galesburgh, Ill. Or, Poughkeepsie, N.Y., Jan. 10, 189-.

A colon suggests something more to follow, hence in the salutation of a letter we find a colon at the end, signifying that the body of the letter is yet to come, as: "Dear Sir:" or, where the communication begins on same line of salutation, we find both colon and dash, as: "Dear Madame:--Yours of," etc.

Commas are used frequently to divide long complex sentences, and the sentence is somewhat further broken by the use of the semicolon between its more decided sections. Abraham Lincoln once said: "I throw in a semicolon whenever I am at a loss what pause to use; it always fits."

The complimentary close of the letter is followed by a comma and the signature by a period. A period also separates and follows two or more initials, as: Yours truly, (MRS.) ADELINE D.T. WHITNEY.

Writing the Superscription.

A very long complimentary conclusion should be punctuated like a sentence, as: I am, dear madam, with the most profound esteem, Yours truly, JAMES TALBOT.

The superscription on the envelope is to be punctuated according to the above given rules. An interrogation point (?) should be used at the end of all questions. It is in truth, as the small boy said, "A little crooked thing that asks questions." The exclamation point (!) expressing astonishment, the dash and parenthesis, need only be employed by those thoroughly understanding their use. Quotation marks (" ") should always be placed at the beginning and end of words quoted from another; slang, or any fas.h.i.+onable "fad" if written, should be quoted.

As for capitals, one should begin every sentence, all names of persons and places, all appellations of the Deity, the first word of every line of poetry, and show themselves in the p.r.o.noun "I," and the exclamation "O."

Sealing wax is to be used, or not, as inclination directs, but neatness and skill are necessary in its use, or an unsightly blotch will result, than which the self-sealing envelope is far preferable. A heavy cream-white envelope sealed with a large, perfect seal of rich red, or bronze-brown wax with a clear monogram or initial stamped thereon, is always pleasing to the eye. To very slightly oil the seal will prevent it adhering to the wax and thereby spoiling the impression. In a foreign correspondence, the self-sealing envelopes are better since in tropical countries the great heat often melts the wax, and it is always liable, during transportation in the holds of vessels, to become cracked and loosened from the paper by the weight of other goods, and close packing in the hold.

Final remarks are scarcely necessary, but it might be suggested that it is rather fas.h.i.+onable to write one's full name, as more elegant than initials. A lady never signs herself simply by initials. Mary Creighton Cutter should so write her name, or, at least, Mary C.

Cutter. Never M.C. Cutter. A gentleman is privileged to do this in business or formal letters, but in any others, instead of L.B.

Bancroft he is Lucius Bright Bancroft or Lucius B. Bancroft.

Points to be Remembered.

Margins are no longer a necessity even in the most formal letters.

Sometimes in writing a long, friendly, not formal, letter, instead of utilizing one side only of the paper, it is written across the sheet upon the first and fourth pages, and then lengthwise upon the second and third, though of course it is perfectly correct to write upon the pages consecutively.

Tautology, or a continued repet.i.tion of the same word, is a disagreeable and inelegant fault in writing, as: "If John will _come_ home, we will all _come_, but if he fails to _come_, we will not _come_ until he can _come_ also."

One other point remains to touch upon: Any one that has ever glanced at the "Correspondence Column" of any paper will see how often young women ask if it is proper to write to gentlemen who have requested the favor of corresponding with them, and which should write first.

This point is rightfully one that should be settled by the mother or other guardian of the girl; but let it be said here that while this is the only country in the world where a so-called "friendly correspondence" is or can be carried on between young men and young women with, or without, any particular object in view, even here it is well to be careful. Girls are sometimes a little too confidential, and all men are not gentlemen, outward polish notwithstanding. A friends.h.i.+p too easily won or too fully expressed is not always prized, and while manly men are supposed never to boast of the number of their correspondents, yet club-room walls, could they speak, would stamp many a man as less than a gentleman.

t.i.tles.

The proper use of t.i.tles forms an important item in letter-writing.

The slightest hesitancy on this point shows a lack of culture on the part of the writer that lowers him at once in the eyes of the recipient.

The ordinary social t.i.tles used are simple and familiar. These are: Mrs., Madam, Miss, for women; Mr., Esq., Messrs., Sir, for men, and Master for boys.

Of course, in writing to an acquaintance, while the outer address retains all its formality, the commencement will be whatever is warranted by the degree of friends.h.i.+p between the parties.

Domestic t.i.tles.

By the const.i.tution of the United States it is provided that no t.i.tles of n.o.bility shall be granted by the government. Neither shall a person holding a governmental office accept any t.i.tle from any king, prince or foreign state, except express permission be given by Congress. The President of the United States and the Governor of Ma.s.sachusetts are the only citizens possessing as officials a t.i.tle by legislative act.

This t.i.tle is the same: "Excellency." Governors of other states are given this t.i.tle by courtesy only. However, this t.i.tle may be omitted at discretion, and indeed the simpler form given is far more suited to our Republican simplicity of manners.

The following list will be found a complete guide in the use of all honorary t.i.tles sanctioned by custom in the United States:

Amba.s.sadors, Foreign, to the United States, are addressed officially by the t.i.tles recognized in their own countries, and if they have no t.i.tle, as "Mr. ----," followed by t.i.tle of office. United States amba.s.sadors to foreign countries, officially as "Mr. ----" or "Hon.

----," followed by t.i.tle of office. There are but four amba.s.sadors sent out by the United States, the ministers to Russia and England having been but lately invested with that t.i.tle.

The Hon. John Jones, United States Amba.s.sador to the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland, or to the Court of St. James.

Archbishop (Roman Catholic)--Letters addressed: "The Most Reverend ----, D.D., Archbishop of ----."

a.s.sociate Justices--Addressed with: "Hon.," name and name of office, but spoken of as "Mr. Justice ----."

Bishop--Addressed: "The Right Reverend ----, D.D., Bishop of ----."