The Merry-Thought Volume I Part 2

The

DEDICATION

To The

Honourable and Worthy Authors of the following Curious Pieces.

Gentlemen and Ladies,

_Would it not be great Pity, that the profound Learning and Wit of so many ill.u.s.trious Personages, who have favoured the Publick with their Lucubrations in Diamond Characters upon _Drinking-Gla.s.ses_, on _Windows_, on _Walls_, and in _Bog-houses_, should be left to the World?

Consider only, Gentlemen and Ladies, how many Accidents might rob us of these sparkling Pieces, if the industrious Care of the Collector had not taken this Way of preserving them, and handing them to Posterity. In the first Place, some careless Drawer breaks the Drinking-Gla.s.ses inscribed to the Beauties of our Age; a furious Mob at an Election breaks the Windows of a contrary Party; and a cleanly Landlord must have, forsooth, his Rooms new painted and white-wash'd every now and then, without regarding in the least the Wit and Learning he is obliterating, or the worthy Authors, any more than when he shall have their Company: But I may venture to say, That good Things are not always respected as they ought to be: The People of the World will sometimes overlook a Jewel, to avoid a T--d, though the Proverb says, _Sh - tt - n Luck is good Luck_.

Nay, I have even found some of the _Spectator_'s Works in a Bog-house, Companion with Pocky-Bills and Fortune-telling Advertis.e.m.e.nts; but now, as Dr. _R----ff_ said, _You shall live_; and I dare venture to affirm, no Body shall pretend to use any of your bright Compositions for b.u.m-Fodder, but those who pay for them. I am not in this like many other Publishers, who make the Works of other People their own, without acknowledging the Piracy they are guilty of, or so much as paying the least Complement to the Authors of their Wisdom: No, Gentlemen and Ladies, I am not the Daw in the Fable, that would vaunt and strut in your Plumes. And besides, I know very well you might have me upon the Hank according to Law, and treat me as a Highwayman or Robber; for you might safely swear upon your Honours, that I had stole the whole Book from your recreative Minutes. But I am more generous; I am what you may call Frank and Free; I acknowledge them to be _YOURS_, and now publish them to perpetuate the Memory of your Honours Wit and Learning: But as every one must have something of Self in him, I am violently flattered, that my Character will s.h.i.+ne like the Diamonds you wrote with, under your exalted Protection, to the End of Time. I am not like your common Dedicators, who fling out their Flourishes for the sake of a Purse of Guineas on their Dedicatees; No, Gentlemen and Ladies, all I desire is, that you will receive this kindly, though I have not put Cuts to it, and communicate what sublime Thoughts you may chance to meet with to the Publisher, _J. Roberts_, in _Warwick-Lane_, Post paid, for_

Your Most Humble,

Most Obedient,

Most Obsequious,

Most Devoted,

And Most Faithful Servant,

HURLO THRUMBO.

THE

MERRY-THOUGHT.

PART I.

_Madam Catherine Cadiere's Case opened, against Father Girard's powerful Injunction. In a Window at Maidenhead._

My dearest _Kitty_, says the _Fryar_, } Give me a holy Kiss, and I'll retire, } Which Kiss set all his Heart on Fire. } He had no Rest that Night, but often cry'd, } Z - - - nds, my dear _Kitty_ shall be occupy'd; } I'll lay aside my Rank, I will not be deny'd. } To-morrow I'll try her, Said the Fryar; And so he went to her, And did undoe her, By making her cry out for Mercy; And then he kiss'd her _Na.r.s.ey-Pa.r.s.ey_.

_L. F._ 1731.

_Underwritten._

Dear _Kitty_ could never have suffered Disgrace, } If whilst the old Fryar was kissing her A - - - se, } She'd pull'd up her Spirits, and sh - - t in his Face. }

_From an hundred Windows._

That which frets a Woman most, Is when her Expectation's crost.

_Sun behind the Exchange._

_To Mr. _D-----b_, on his being very hot upon Mrs. _N. S._ _1714_._

When the Devil would commit a Rape.

He took upon him _Cupid_'s Shape: When he the Fair-One met, at least, They kiss'd and hugg'd, or hugg'd and kiss'd; But she in amorous Desire, Thought she had _Cupid_'s Dart, But got h.e.l.l Fire, And found the Smart.

_N. B._ And then the Surgeon was sent for.

_From the White-Hart at Acton._

_Kitty_ the strangest Girl in Life, For any one to make a Wife; Her Const.i.tution's cold, with warm Desire, She kisses just like Ice and Fire.

_At the Bear-Inn, Spinham-Land._

E V A N K it is a Word of Fame, Spell it backwards, 'tis your Name.

_S. T._ 1710.

Find it out if 'tis your Name,

_R. M._

_At the Cranes, Edgeworth._

As I walk'd by myself, I said to myself.

And myself said again to me: Look to thyself, Take Care of thyself, For no Body cares for thee.

Then I myself Thus answer'd myself, With the self-same Repartee: Look to thyself, Or look not to thyself, 'Tis the self-same Thing to me.

_John Careless._

_On a Frier who cuckol'd a Dyer at Roan in France; and the Dyer's Revenge in dying him _Blue_._

There was a topping Dyer, Was cuckol'd by a Frier: He saw the Case, How bad it was, And feign'd to take a Journey, Saying softly, Madam, ---- burn ye But stopping by the Way He saw the Priest full gay, Running fast to his House, To tickle his Spouse: 'Tis d----n'd vile, thinks the Dyer, But away went the Frier.

I'll be with you anon, Says the Dyer, ---- go on, And as I am blunt, If I find you have don't, I'll dye you for Life, For debauching my Wife; And as good as his Word, For he car'd not a T - - d, Away goes the Dyer, Caught his Wife with the Frier.

And led the Monk down, And pickled him soon, In a Dye-Fat of Blue, } Which he ever will rue, } 'Twas so lasting a Hue; } And that spoilt his hunting, A Twelve-month or two, _&c._

_Daniel Cowper, &c._

_On a Tavern Window in Fleet-Street._

_An Address to our present Pet.i.t-Maitres._