Rhymes Old and New Part 17

Daddy Neptune one day to Freedom did say: "If ever I lived upon dry land, The spot I should hit on would be little Britain,"

Says Freedom: "Why, that's my own island!

Oh, it's a snug little island, A right little, tight little island, Search all the globe round, there's none can be found So happy as this little island!"

Did you ever see the Devil, With his little spade and shovel, Digging 'taties by the dozen With his tail c.o.c.ked up?

The man in the moon as hard as your hat, He stole some bushes out of a gap, If he'd went by, and let 'em alie, He'd never been man in the moon so high.

One to make ready, Two to prepare, Three to be off, And four to be there.

Rum-ti-tum-tum, The soldiers are come, With a great piece of beef, And a bottle of rum.

If wishes were horses, Beggars would ride, And all the world Be drowned in pride.

First take an old woman and toast her, And then rub her over with cheese, Then lay her out on a frosty night, And ten to one but she'll freeze; Next, bring her in in the morning, And rub her all over with straw, Then lay her down by a good coal fire, And ten to one but she'll thaw.

"Fire! fire!" says the Crier, "Where? where?" says Lord Mayor.

"In the town," says Billy Brown.

"Has it done much damage?" says Billy Cabbage.

"Only burnt a few fellows," says Billy Bellows, "Is that all?" says Billy Ball.

"Yes, and plenty, too," says Billy Blue.

To market ride the gentlemen, So do we, so do we; Then comes the country clown, Hobbledy gee! hobbledy gee!

First go to the ladies, nim, nim, nim!

Next comes the gentlemen, trim, trim, trim!

Then come the country clowns, gallop-a-trot!

LEICESTERs.h.i.+RE RIME

If all the waters was wan sea, And all the trees was wan tree, And this here tree should fall into that there sea, Moy, sirs! what a splish-splash there'd be!

He that will fish for a Lancas.h.i.+re lad, At any time or tide, Must bait his hook with a good egg py, Or an apple with a red side.

ESs.e.x

Gaffer Grey one summer day, Was digging in the garden, Beneath a stone he found a bone, And in the bone a farden.

ESs.e.x

Pink and white's the lad's delight, Blue and white they follow, Green and white's forsaken quite, The devil take the yellow!

Julius Caesar made a law, Augustus Caesar signed it, That every one that made a sneeze Should run away and find it.

There was a man and his name was Cob; He had a wife and her name was Mob; He had a dog and his name was Bob; She had a cat and her name was Chitterbob; "Bob," says Cob, "Chitterbob," says Mob, Cob's dog was Bob, Mob's cat was Chitterbob, Cob, Mob, Bob, and Chitterbob.

DRIVING MAXIMS

Up the hill urge him not; Down the hill drive him not; Cross the flat spare him not; To the hostler trust him not.

IRISH SONG

_My Land_

She is a rich and rare land!

Oh! she's a fresh and fair land!

She is a dear and rare land, This native land of mine.

No men than her's are braver, Her women's hearts ne'er waver; I'd freely die to save her, And think my lot divine.

She's not a dull or cold land, No! she's a warm and bold land, Oh! she's a true and old land, This native land of mine.

Oh! she's a fresh and fair land, Oh! she's a true and rare land, Yes! she's a rare and fair land, This native land of mine.