The Foolish Almanak Part 3

"Looping the lamp-post" is also quite an achievement in skating. It doesn't make any difference which of the two lamp-posts you loop--take your choice. It is difficult to give directions how to do this. The feat has to be seen to be learned. There is a simpler way of doing it, however, and that is--stand perfectly still while the lamp-post pa.s.ses around you.

Two persons skating together for mutual a.s.sistance are known as "a pair of skates."

An expert skater can skate just as well in July as in February.

[Sidenote: _Nocturne_:

Bright Light Night.

Miss Kiss Bliss.

Pa Bar Scar.

[Ill.u.s.tration]

[Ill.u.s.tration: Don't see me freckles. Look pleasant please.]

SUNDAY

MONDAY Cherry trees and hatchets have been supplanted by "big sticks" as decorations at the White House.

TUESDAY

WEDNESDAY "Cut it out"--_Surgeon's Motto_.

THURSDAY George Was.h.i.+ngton born. Neighbors took in their cherry trees.

FRIDAY

SAt.u.r.dAY

FEBRUARY

When Duty calls, send her around to the back door.

HOW TO COMPOSE A SHORT STORY

"Ambitious" asks the compiler of this Almanack to tell her the easiest way to compose a short story.

This depends somewhat on the short story, but a few general observations may be of interest. Some short stories are more excited than others.

Lead the short story to a quiet place and soothe it by praise delivered in a gentle, monotonous, but authoritative tone of voice. Be careful not to criticize, as that will make it more and more nervous. When the short story shows signs of yielding to this influence, smooth it gently with one hand and pat it on the back with the other. When quite composed, withdraw quietly, still speaking in a low tone.

A short story by Mary Wilkins can be composed more quickly than a short story by Kipling. In the latter case it may be necessary to gently persuade the short story to take an opiate.

[Sidenote: _Health Hint_: All that blisters is not good for a cold.]

[Sidenote: _Lucky Advice_: It is unlucky to fall down 13 flights of stairs.]

[Ill.u.s.tration: Darn that ram.]

SUNDAY (1906) A bright day. W. J. Bryan congratulates the Sun.

MONDAY

TUESDAY "It isn't so much her eating the apple as that she thought she was getting something for nothing. I foresee much trouble from this tendency." --Adam's Journal.

WEDNESDAY

THURSDAY

FRIDAY (2300 B.C.) Confusion invented by Confucius.

SAt.u.r.dAY

FEBRUARY

A woman's college is a dangerous thing.

HELPFUL HINT FOR MARCH