The Spinners Part 41
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Raymond lunched at North Hill House--now his property. He had not seen Waldron since the great change in his fortunes and Arthur, with the rest, was quick to perceive the difference. They met in friends.h.i.+p and Estelle kissed Raymond as she was accustomed to do; but the alteration in him, while missed by her, was soon apparent to her father. It took the shape of a more direct and definite method of thinking. Raymond no longer uttered his opinions inconsiderately, as though confessing they were worthless even while he spoke them. He weighed his words, jested far less often, and did not turn serious subjects into laughter.
Waldron suggested certain things to his new landlord that he desired should be done; but he was amused in secret that some work Raymond had blamed Daniel for not doing, he now refused to do himself.
"I've no objection, old chap--none at all. The other points you raise I shall carry out at my own expense; but the French window in the drawing-room, while an excellent addition to the room, is not a necessity. So you must do that yourself." Thus he spoke and Arthur agreed.
Estelle only found him unchanged. Before her he was always jovial and happy. He liked to hear her talk and listen to her budding theories of life and pretty dreams of what the world ought to be, if people would only take a little more trouble for other people. But Estelle was painfully direct. She thought for herself and had not yet learned to hide her ideas, modify their shapes, or m.u.f.fle their outlines when presenting them to another person. Mr. Churchouse and her father were responsible for this. They encouraged her directness and, while knowing that she outraged opinion sometimes, could not bring themselves to warn her, or stain the frankness of her views, with the caution that good manners require thought should not go nude.
Now the peril of Estelle's principles appeared when lunch was finished and the servants had withdrawn.
"I didn't speak before Lucy and Agnes," she said, "because they might talk about it afterwards."
"Bless me! How cunning she's getting!" laughed Raymond. But he did not laugh long. Estelle handed him his coffee and lit a match for his cigar; while Arthur, guessing what was coming, resigned himself helplessly to the storm.
"Sabina is fearfully unhappy, Ray. She loves you so much, and I hope you will change your mind and marry her after all, because if you do, she'll love her baby, too, and look forward to it very much. But if you don't, she'll hate her baby. And it would be a dreadful thing for the poor little baby to come into the world hated."
To Waldron's intense relief Raymond showed no annoyance whatever. He was gentle and smiled at Estelle.
"So it would, Chicky--it would be a dreadful thing for a baby to come into the world hated. But don't you worry. n.o.body's going to hate it."
"I'll tell Sabina that. Sabina's sure to have a nice baby, because she's so nice herself."
"Sure to. And I shall be a very good friend to the baby without marrying Sabina."
"If she knows that, it ought to comfort her," declared Estelle. "And I shall be a great friend to it, too."
Her father bade the child be off on an errand presently and expressed his regrets to the guest when she was gone.
"Awfully sorry, old chap, but she's so unearthly and simple; and though I've often told myself to preach to her, I never can quite do it."
"Never do. She'll learn to hide her thoughts soon enough. Nothing she can say would annoy me. For that matter she's only saying what a great many other people are thinking and haven't the pluck to say. The truth is this, Arthur; when I was a poor man I was a weak man, and I should have married Sabina and we should both have had a h.e.l.l of a life, no doubt. Now the death of Daniel has made me a strong man, and I'm not doing wrong as the result; I'm doing right. I can afford to do right and not mind the consequences. And the truth about life is that half the people who do wrong, only do it because they can't afford to do right."
"That's a comforting doctrine--for the poor."
"It's like this. Sabina is a very dear girl, and I loved her tremendously, and if she'd gone on being the same afterwards, I should have married her. But she changed, and I saw that we could never be really happy together as man and wife. There are things in her that would have ruined my temper, and there are things in me she would have got to hate more and more. As a matter of brutal fact, Arthur, she got to dislike me long before things came to a climax. She had to hide it, because, from her standpoint and her silly mother's, marriage is the only sort of salvation. Whereas for us it would have been d.a.m.nation.
It's very simple; she's got to think as I think and then she'll be all right."
"You can't make people think your way, if they prefer to think their own."
"It's merely the line of least resistance and what will pay her best. I want you to grasp the fact that she had ceased to like me before there was any reason why she should cease to like me. I'll swear she had. My first thought and intention, when I heard what had happened, was to marry her right away. And what changed my feeling about it, and showed me devilish clear it would be a mistake, was Sabina herself. We needn't go over that. But I'm not going to marry her now under any circ.u.mstances whatever, while recognising very clearly my duty to her and the child.
And though you may say it's humbug, I'm thinking quite as much for her as myself when I say this."
"I don't presume to judge. You're not a humbug--no good sportsman is in my experience. If you do everything right for the child, I suppose the world has no reason to criticise."
"As long as I'm right with myself, I don't care one b.u.t.ton what the world says, Arthur. There's nothing quicker opens your eyes, or helps you to take larger views, than independence."
"I see that."
"All the same, it's a steadying thing if you're honest and have got brains in your head. People thought I was a shallow, easy, good-natured and good-for-nothing fool six months ago. Well, they thought wrong. But don't think I'm pleased with myself, or any nonsense of that sort. Only a fool is pleased with himself. I've wasted my life till now, because I had no ambition. Now I'm beginning it and trying to get things into their proper perspective. When I had no responsibilities, I was irresponsible. Now they've come, I'm stringing myself up to meet them."
"Life's given you your chance."
"Exactly; and I hope to show I can take it. But I'm not going to start by making an a.s.s of myself to please a few old women."
"Where shall you live?"
"Nowhere in particular for the minute. I shall roam and see all that's being done in my business and take John Best with me for a while. Then it depends. Perhaps, if things go as I expect about machinery, I shall ask you for a corner again in the autumn."
Mr. Waldron nodded; but he was not finding himself in complete agreement with Raymond.
"Always welcome," he said.
"Perhaps you'd rather not? Well--see how things go. Estelle may bar me.
I'm at Bridport to-night and return to London to-morrow. But I shall be back again in a week."
"Shall you play any cricket this summer?"
"I should like to if I have time; but it's very improbable. I'm not going to chuck sport though. Next year I may have more leisure."
"You're at 'The Seven Stars,' I hear--haven't forgiven d.i.c.k Gurd he tells me."
"Did we quarrel? I forget. Seems funny to think I had enough time on my hands to wrangle with an innkeeper. But I like Missis Northover's. It's quiet."
"Shall I come in and dine this evening?"
"Wait till I'm back again. I've got to talk to my Aunt Jenny to-night.
She's one of the old brigade, but I'm hoping to make her see sense."
"When sense clashes with religion, old man, n.o.body sees sense. I'm afraid your opinions won't entirely commend themselves to Miss Ironsyde."
"Probably not. I quite realise that I shall have to exercise the virtue of patience at Bridport and Bridetown for a year or two. But while I've got you for a friend, Arthur, I'm not going to bother."
Waldron marked the imperious changes and felt somewhat bewildered.
Raymond left him not a little to think about, and when the younger had ridden off, Arthur strolled afield with his thoughts and strove to bring order into them. He felt in a vague sort of way that he had been talking to a stranger, and his hope, if he experienced a hope, was that the new master of the Mill might not take himself too seriously. "People who do that are invariably one-sided," thought Waldron.
Upon Ironsyde's att.i.tude and intentions with regard to Sabina, he also reflected uneasily. What Raymond had declared sounded all right, yet Arthur could not break with old rooted opinions and the general view of conduct embodied in his favourite word. Was it "sporting"? And more important still, was it true? Had Ironsyde arrived at his determination from honest conviction, or thanks to the force of changed circ.u.mstances?
Mr. Waldron gave his friend the benefit of the doubt.
"One must remember that he is a good sportsman," he reflected, "and he can't have enough brains to make him a bad sportsman."
For the thinker had found within his experience, that those who despised sport, too often despised also the simple ethics that he a.s.sociated with sportsmans.h.i.+p. In fact, Arthur, after one or two painful experiences, had explicitly declared that big brains often went hand in hand with a doubtful sense of honour. He had also, of course, known numerous examples of another sort of dangerous people who a.s.sumed the name and distinction of "sportsman" as a garment to hide their true activities and unworthy selves.
CHAPTER XXVIII
CLASH OF OPINIONS
The Spinners Part 41
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The Spinners Part 41 summary
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