The Return Of The Soul Part 2
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I would not let her enter the house immediately, but made her come with me to the terrace above the river, to see the view over the c.u.mbrian mountains and the moors of Eskdale.
The sky was very clear and pale, but over Styhead the clouds were boiling up. The Screes that guard ebon Wast.w.a.ter looked grim and sad.
Margot stood beside me on the terrace, but her chatter had been succeeded by silence. And I, too, was silent for the moment, absorbed in contemplation. But presently I turned to her, wis.h.i.+ng to see how she was impressed by her new domain.
She was not looking towards the river and the hills, but at the terrace walk itself, the band of emerald turf that bordered it, the stone pots full of flowers, the winding way that led into the shrubbery.
She was looking at these intently, and with a strangely puzzled, almost startled expression.
"Hus.h.!.+ Don't speak to me for a moment," she said, as I opened my lips.
"Don't; I want to---- How odd this is!"
And she gazed up at the windows of the house, at the creepers that climbed its walls, at the sloping roof and the irregular chimney-stacks.
Her lips were slightly parted, and her eyes were full of an inward expression that told me she was struggling with forgetfulness and desired recollection.
I was silent, wondering.
At last she said: "Ronald, I have never been in the North of England before, never set foot in c.u.mberland; yet I seem to know this terrace walk, those very flower-pots, the garden, the look of that roof, those chimneys, even the slanting way in which that great creeper climbs. Is it not--is it not very strange?"
She gazed up at me, and in her blue eyes there was an expression almost of fear.
I smiled down on her. "It must be your fancy," I said.
"It does not seem so," she replied. "I feel as if I had been here before, and often, or for a long time." She paused; then she said: "Do let me go into the house. There ought to be a room there--a room--I seem almost to see it. Come! Let us go in."
She took my hand and drew me towards the hall door. The servants were carrying in the luggage, and there was a certain amount of confusion and noise, but she did not seem to notice it. She was intent on something; I could not tell what.
"Do show me the house, Ronald--the drawing-room, and--and--there is another room I wish to see."
"You shall see them all, dear," I said. "You are excited. It is natural enough. This is the drawing-room."
She glanced round it hastily.
"And now the others!" she exclaimed.
I took her to the dining-room, the library, and the various apartments on the ground-floor.
She scarcely looked at them. When we had finished exploring, "Are these all?" she asked, with a wavering accent of disappointment.
"All," I answered.
"Then--show me the rooms upstairs."
We ascended the shallow oak steps, and pa.s.sed first into the apartment in which my grandmother had died.
It had been done up since then, refurnished, and almost completely altered. Only the wide fireplace, with its bra.s.s dogs and its heavy oaken mantelpiece, had been left untouched.
Margot glanced hastily round. Then she walked up to the fireplace, and drew a long breath.
"There ought to be a fire here," she said.
"But it is summer," I answered, wondering.
"And a chair there," she went on, in a curious low voice, indicating--I think now, or is it my imagination?--the very spot where my grandmother was wont to sit. "Yes--I seem to remember, and yet not to remember."
She looked at me, and her white brows were knit.
Suddenly she said: "Ronald, I don't think I like this room. There is something--I don't know--I don't think I could sit here; and I seem to remember--something about it, as I did about the terrace. What can it mean?"
"It means that you are tired and overexcited, darling. Your nerves are too highly strung, and nerves play us strange tricks. Come to your own room and take off your things, and when you have had some tea, you will be all right again."
Yes, I was fool enough to believe that tea was the panacea for an undreamed-of, a then unimaginable, evil.
I thought Margot was simply an overtired and imaginative child that evening. If I could believe so now!
We went up into her boudoir and had tea, and she grew more like herself; but several times that night I observed her looking puzzled and thoughtful, and a certain expression of anxiety shone in her blue eyes that was new to them then.
But I thought nothing of it, and I was-happy. Two or three days pa.s.sed, and Mar-got did not again refer to her curious sensation of pre-knowledge of the house and garden. I fancied there was a slight alteration in her manner; that was all. She seemed a little restless.
Her vivacity flagged now and then. She was more willing to be alone than she had been. But we were old married folk now, and could not be always in each other's sight. I had a great many people connected with the estate to see, and had to gather up the tangled threads of many affairs.
The honeymoon was over. Of course we could not always be together.
Still, I should have wished Margot to desire it, and I could not hide from myself that now and then she scarcely concealed a slight impatience to be left in solitude. This troubled me, but only a little, for she was generally as fond as ever. That evening, however, an incident occurred which rendered me decidedly uneasy, and made me wonder if my wife were not inclined to that curse of highly-strung women--hysteria!
I had been riding over the moors to visit a tenant-farmer who lived at some distance, and did not return until twilight. Dismounting, I let myself into the house, traversed the hall, and ascended the stairs. As I wore spurs, and the steps were of polished oak and uncarpeted, I walked noisily enough to warn anyone of my approach. I was pa.s.sing the door of the room that had been my grandmother's sitting-room, when I noticed that it stood open. The house was rather dark, and the interior was dim enough, but I could see a figure in a white dress moving about inside.
I recognised Margot, and wondered what she was doing, but her movements were so singular that, instead of speaking to her, I stood in the doorway and watched her.
She was walking, with a very peculiar, stealthy step, around the room, not as if she were looking for anything, but merely as if she were restless or ill at ease. But what struck me forcibly was this, that there was something curiously animal in her movements, seen thus in a dim half-light that only partially revealed her to me. I had never seen a woman walk in that strangely wild yet soft way before. There was something uncanny about it, that rendered me extremely discomforted; yet I was quite fascinated, and rooted to the ground.
I cannot tell how long I stood there. I was so completely absorbed in the pa.s.sion of the gazer that the pa.s.sage of time did not concern me in the least. I was as one a.s.sisting at a strange spectacle. This white thing moving in the dark did not suggest my wife to me, although it was she. I might have been watching an animal, vague, yet purposeful of mind, tracing out some hidden thing, following out some instinct quite foreign to humanity. I remember that presently I involuntarily clasped my hands together, and felt that they were very cold. Perspiration broke out on my face. I was painfully, unnaturally moved, and a violent desire to be away from this white moving thing came over me. Walking as softly as I could, I went to my dressing-room, shut the door, and sat down on a chair. I never remember to have felt thoroughly unnerved before, but now I found myself actually shaken, palsied. I could understand how deadly a thing fear is. I lit a candle hastily, and as I did so a knock came to the door.
Margot's voice said, "May I come in?" I felt unable to reply, so I got up and admitted her.
She entered smiling, and looking such a child, so innocent, so tender, that I almost laughed aloud. That I, a man, should have been frightened by a child in a white dress, just because the twilight cast a phantom atmosphere around her! I held her in my arms, and I gazed into her blue eyes.
She looked down, but still smiled.
"Where have you been, and what have you been doing?" I asked gaily.
She answered that she had been in the drawing-room since tea-time.
"You came here straight from the drawing-room?" I said.
She replied, "Yes."
Then, with an indifferent air which hid real anxiety, I said:
The Return Of The Soul Part 2
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The Return Of The Soul Part 2 summary
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- Related chapter:
- The Return Of The Soul Part 1
- The Return Of The Soul Part 3