Homeward Bound Part 21

Atvar's hiss of dismay was altogether heartfelt. "I had forgotten about that," he admitted. "You are a very clever Tosevite."

Sam Yeager shook his head. Atvar understood the gesture. The American Big Ugly said, "Not at all, Fleetlord. But I do know my own kind. I had better, would you not agree?"

"Well, perhaps," Atvar said, which made Sam Yeager come out with another of his noisy laughs. But then the fleetlord brightened. "I may be able to persuade her to wear wrappings for the purpose of the audience."

"Good luck," Sam Yeager said.

At first, Atvar thought he meant that sincerely. Then he suspected irony. Judging such things when they came from one of another species, another culture, was never easy. And then Atvar thought about how stubbornly Ka.s.squit had refused to wear wrappings when the wild Big Uglies asked it of her. She was proud to be a citizen of the Empire, and would not want to conform to the usages common among wild Tosevites. She did not seem to notice that her stubbornness was one of the most Tosevite things about her.

"Maybe I can persuade her," Atvar said at last. "An audience with the Emperor would be something she highly desired."

"That is a truth," Sam Yeager said. "But she would desire it as a citizen of the Empire. Would she desire it as nothing but a propaganda tool?"

"I think finding out may be worth my while," Atvar said. "If you will excuse me . . ."

He rang up Ka.s.squit on the conference-room phone. "Yes, Exalted Fleetlord, I would be pleased to see you," she said. Her intonation when speaking the Race's language differed only slightly from Sam Yeager's. He had a language of his own. She didn't. But her Tosevite mouthparts were the most important factor in determining how she sounded.

Atvar said his farewells to Yeager and went up to her room. It had, he saw, been modified in the same ways as had the wild Big Uglies'. That made sense; biology outweighed culture when it came to comfort. "I greet you," Atvar said. "I hope all is well?"

"As well as it can be when one is neither azwaca nor fibyen," Ka.s.squit replied. "How may I help you today?"

"How would you like to present yourself before the Emperor?" Atvar asked.

Ka.s.squit's small, narrow, immobile eyes widened. That was a sign of astonishment in Tosevites. Citizen of the Empire or not, Ka.s.squit shared reflexes with the rest of her species. Only natural, Only natural, Atvar thought. Ka.s.squit said, "There is nothing I would like better, Exalted Fleetlord, but why would the Emperor wish to see one such as me?" Atvar thought. Ka.s.squit said, "There is nothing I would like better, Exalted Fleetlord, but why would the Emperor wish to see one such as me?"

"What do you mean?" Atvar asked, though he knew perfectly well. Pretending he did not, he went on, "Are you not a citizen of the Empire like any other?"

"You know what I am," Ka.s.squit said bleakly. "I am a Big Ugly. I am a citizen of the Empire not like any other."

She had reason to sound bleak. She was perfectly right. As she'd said, she was a citizen of the Empire unlike any other. She was not and could not be a wild Big Ugly. The Race had made sure of that. Atvar sounded resolutely cheerful: "That is all the more reason for his Majesty to wish to grant your pet.i.tion-to show that every citizen of the Empire is like every other citizen once out of the sh.e.l.l."

The cliche held good for members of the Race, for Rabotevs, and for Hallessi. It did not hold good for Tosevites, as Atvar remembered just too late. Ka.s.squit rubbed his snout in the mistake, saying, "I remind you, Exalted Fleetlord, that I did not hatch from an egg."

"Well, soon there will be millions of citizens who did not hatch from eggs," Atvar said resolutely. "You are the first-truth. But you will not be the last. Far from it." He used an emphatic cough.

"Possibly not." Ka.s.squit spoke with the air of one making a great concession. Then she hesitated. "Would my audience be used for propaganda purposes with the wild Big Uglies on Tosev 3?"

She might have been-she was-betwixt and between, but that did not make her a fool. Atvar reminded himself of that once more. Had she been less bright, she would have had much more trouble coping with her situation than she did in fact. Cautiously, the fleetlord answered, "It might. That would depend in part on whether you are willing to put on wrappings for the occasion. An unwrapped female might cause more, ah, controversy than approval among the wild Tosevites."

Ka.s.squit made the negative gesture. "Why should I accommodate myself to the prejudices of barbarians?" she demanded. "I am am a citizen of the Empire. Let the wild Big Uglies see what that means." She did not use an emphatic cough. Her words were quite emphatic enough. a citizen of the Empire. Let the wild Big Uglies see what that means." She did not use an emphatic cough. Her words were quite emphatic enough.

Atvar answered her question, though no doubt she'd posed it rhetorically: "Why should you accommodate yourself to barbarians? Because in so doing you would serve the Empire's interests."

But Ka.s.squit used the negative gesture again. "The Empire should not accommodate itself to the wild Big Uglies, either. It should find ways to get them to accommodate themselves to it."

"Having them see another Tosevite treated as an equal here on Home would go some way toward that end," Atvar said.

"Then let them see me treated as an equal, and not artificially wrapped," Ka.s.squit said firmly. "If the Emperor is willing to accept my pet.i.tion under those circ.u.mstances, I will submit it. If not"-she shrugged-"not."

"Submit it in any case," Atvar urged. "His Majesty and the court may well accept it come what may, simply because of the services you have already rendered the Empire." He was careful not to say, the Race. the Race.

"Well, then, it shall be done, Exalted Fleetlord, and I thank you for the suggestion," Ka.s.squit said.

"Sam Yeager urged me to propose this to you," Atvar said, knowing she would hear as much from one of the wild Big Uglies if not from him. "His opinion is that your pet.i.tion will probably be accepted whether or not you wear wrappings."

"He is a clever male. I hope he is right here," Ka.s.squit said.

"In my opinion, he probably is," Atvar said. "The Emperor should have a special interest in meeting a Tosevite subject, especially as he will also be meeting with the amba.s.sador from these independent Big Uglies."

"I would hope he might accept my pet.i.tion even if I were not-" But Ka.s.squit broke off and made the negative gesture. "That is pointless. I am a special case. I have been made into a special case, and I can do nothing about it. No matter what I hope for, there is no point to hoping for normality."

"If I could tell you you were wrong, I would. But you are right, and telling you otherwise would be not only pointless but untrue," Atvar said. "Since you are special, however, you should exploit that for all it is worth."

"That, no doubt, is a truth," Ka.s.squit replied. "It is a truth I have been reluctant to use, however. I do want to be valued for myself, not as . . . as a curiosity, you might say."

"There will be many more Tosevite citizens of the Empire in years to come," Atvar said. "There may even be some on Tosev 3 now. But I do not think there will ever be another one as completely acculturated as you are."

"I would disagree with you," Ka.s.squit said. "Some hundreds or thousands of years from now, after Tosev 3 is firmly incorporated into the Empire, all the Big Uglies there will be as I am."

"I have my doubts about that," Atvar said. "Thanks to ginger and to the strong native civilizations, I suspect Tosev 3 will always be something of a special case, a world apart, in the Empire. Tosevite cultures will not be subsumed to the same degree as those of the Rabotevs and Hallessi have been."

"And, of course, I knew nothing of any Tosevite culture when I was a hatchling," Ka.s.squit said. "I thought of myself as a misshapen female of the Race. I kept wis.h.i.+ng I would grow scales and eye turrets. When it did not happen, I wondered what I had done to be so bad."

Atvar had authorized Ttomalss' experiment with Ka.s.squit. He'd followed it with interest. Not only had it been interesting, it had also been necessary. He'd always been convinced of that. Up till now, he'd never felt guilty about it. He wondered why not.

"Write your pet.i.tion," he said. "I fear we have done you an injustice in the past, one we cannot possibly make up to you. But what we can do, we will. By the Emperor, by the spirits of Emperors past, I promise you that."

"Yes, of course," Ttomalss said in some surprise, staring at Ka.s.squit's image in the monitor. "I would be pleased to review your pet.i.tion for an audience with the Emperor. But why, if you do not mind my asking, is this the first that I have heard of your submitting such a pet.i.tion?"

"Fleetlord Atvar suggested that I do so." Ka.s.squit's features showed no expression, but excitement sang in her voice. "He said he had the idea from Sam Yeager. The wild Big Ugly reasoned that, if the Emperor would consent to see him, he might also consent to seeing a Tosevite citizen of the Empire-the Tosevite citizen of the Empire now living on Home." Tosevite citizen of the Empire now living on Home."

Ttomalss didn't need to think that over for very long before deciding Sam Yeager was bound to be right. The propaganda value of such an audience was obvious-once someone pointed it out. Ttomalss' tail-stump quivered in agitation. "I should have thought of this for myself."

"Truth-you should have." Ka.s.squit could be particularly liverless when she chose. She went on, "But, as long as someone has thought of it, who does not matter very much. May I bring you the pet.i.tion now?"

"Please do," Ttomalss said, trying his best to hide the vaguely punctured feeling he had. "I am sure you will have written it out without a flaw. After all, the language we are speaking, the language we both write, is as much yours as mine."

"So it is, superior sir," Ka.s.squit said. "For better and for worse, so it is. I will be there very shortly."

She was, as usual, as good as her word. When the door b.u.t.ton hissed, Ttomalss let her in. "I greet you," he said.

"And I greet you," she replied, bending into the posture of respect. Then she handed him the papers. "Please tell me if everything is in order."

"Certainly." Ttomalss' eye turrets flicked back and forth, back and forth, as he read through the pet.i.tion. When he looked at it, he saw nothing that showed a Big Ugly rather than a female of the Race had written it. He occasionally raised one eye turret to look at Ka.s.squit. She was, of course, what she had always been. Physically, she was a Tosevite. Culturally, she belonged to the Empire. "As far as I can see, this is perfect. I congratulate you."

"I thank you," Ka.s.squit said.

"I am given to understand Sam Yeager had some trouble completing his pet.i.tion," Ttomalss said.

"I have spoken to him about this while I was preparing mine," Ka.s.squit replied. "He tells me he has some trouble with formal written composition in a language not his own. He is certainly fluent enough while speaking, and in informal postings on electronic bulletin boards."

"Yes, that is a truth," Ttomalss agreed. Back on Tosev 3, Sam Yeager had electronically masqueraded as a member of the Race for some time before Ka.s.squit realized what he was. The Big Uglies, generally speaking, were better at languages than the Race. They had to be, with so many different tongues on their planet. The last time the Race had had to deal with languages other than its own was during the conquest of Halless 1, and that was ten thousand years ago now. Except for a handful of scholars, no one knew anything about the Hallessi languages any more. That of the Race had supplanted them within a few centuries after the conquest.

However much Ttomalss hoped that would happen on Tosev 3, he had his doubts about whether it would. English, in particular, was flouris.h.i.+ng like a weed. Members of the Race had had to learn it not to administer a conquered people but to treat with equals. Conservatives balked at doing so, and more and more often were getting left behind.

Ka.s.squit said, "Since you confirm that this pet.i.tion is in proper format and correct, superior sir, I am going to give it to Fleetlord Atvar, in the hope that his name will help win approval for it."

That jabbed a dagger of jealousy under Ttomalss' scales. Ka.s.squit was his protegee, not Atvar's. A moment's thought made him see the sense of Ka.s.squit's plan. Atvar had recently earned an imperial audience himself. He was serving as Sam Yeager's sponsor, preparing the wild Big Ugly for his encounter with the 37th Emperor Risson. That all had to mean the imperial courtiers-and perhaps even the Emperor himself-thought well of the former fleetlord of the conquest fleet.

Ttomalss had pet.i.tioned for an imperial audience not long after coming back to Home. The court had not accepted his pet.i.tion. That hadn't left him particularly downlivered; he knew how many pet.i.tions were submitted, how few accepted. Still, he had not imagined that the Big Ugly he'd raised from a hatchling might win an audience ahead of him.

She was a grown individual now. Tosevite literature was full of references to generational struggles, to young a.s.serting their authority- no, their right to wield authority-against those who had raised them. Such conflicts were much less common among the Race, where hatchlings were physically able to care for themselves at an early age, and where those who mated to produce them were unlikely to be the ones who reared them.

Such different social structures were bound to make acculturation more difficult. That had been obvious since early in the invasion. What ginger did to the Race and its mating patterns, though, came as a rude surprise. And the Race's adoption of Tosevite inst.i.tutions on Tosev 3 reversed tens of thousands of years of precedent. Such adoptions made thoughtful observers-or perhaps just worried observers-wonder which was in fact the dominant species on Tosev 3. That had nothing to do with the Big Uglies' rapidly advancing technology, either. It was an altogether separate concern.

Just what we need, Ttomalss thought sourly. He returned the pet.i.tion to Ka.s.squit. She left his room. He went back to trying to figure out just where the Tosevites stood in terms of technology. Were the Race's experts right to be as alarmed as they were? Or were they even underestimating the danger because of their unfamiliarity with so much of what was being printed in Tosevite scientific journals? Ttomalss thought sourly. He returned the pet.i.tion to Ka.s.squit. She left his room. He went back to trying to figure out just where the Tosevites stood in terms of technology. Were the Race's experts right to be as alarmed as they were? Or were they even underestimating the danger because of their unfamiliarity with so much of what was being printed in Tosevite scientific journals?

And what was not not being printed in those scientific journals? What were the Big Uglies trying to keep secret? Penetrating their computer networks was far harder now than it had been even when Ttomalss went into cold sleep. When the conquest fleet arrived, the Big Uglies had had no computer networks. They'd had no computers, not in the sense that the Race did. being printed in those scientific journals? What were the Big Uglies trying to keep secret? Penetrating their computer networks was far harder now than it had been even when Ttomalss went into cold sleep. When the conquest fleet arrived, the Big Uglies had had no computer networks. They'd had no computers, not in the sense that the Race did.

We should have knocked them flat, Ttomalss thought, not for the first time. Ttomalss thought, not for the first time. We almost did. We should have finished the job. I think we could have. We almost did. We should have finished the job. I think we could have.

He laughed, not that it was really funny. s.h.i.+plord Straha had urged an all-out push against the Big Uglies. Most males in the conquest fleet had reckoned him a maniacal adventurer. He hadn't succeeded in toppling Atvar and imposing his program. In hindsight, it didn't look so bad.

Could things have turned out worse had Straha got his way? Ttomalss made the affirmative gesture. If Tosev 3 taught any lesson, it taught that things could always turn out worse. I Told You So I Told You So would have been a good t.i.tle for an autobiographical account written by the planet itself. would have been a good t.i.tle for an autobiographical account written by the planet itself.

Ttomalss laughed again, this time at the conceit. But it wasn't really funny, either. No one who'd left Home for Tosev 3 in the conquest fleet had dreamt the Big Uglies would be able to put up a hundredth of the fight they had. No one who'd been on Tosev 3 at the time of the invasion would have dreamt the Big Uglies would have interstellar travel within a male's lifetime . . . but here they were.

Where will they be in one lifetime more? Ttomalss wondered uneasily. Ttomalss wondered uneasily.

That led to another question. Will they be anywhere at all? Will they be anywhere at all? Atvar had always considered the possibility of a war of extermination against the Tosevites, to make sure they could not threaten the Empire even if they took the technological lead. He would have left his plans behind for Reffet and Kirel. He would have left those plans behind, yes, but would the current commanders have the nerve to use them? Both males struck Ttomalss as less resolute than Atvar. Atvar had always considered the possibility of a war of extermination against the Tosevites, to make sure they could not threaten the Empire even if they took the technological lead. He would have left his plans behind for Reffet and Kirel. He would have left those plans behind, yes, but would the current commanders have the nerve to use them? Both males struck Ttomalss as less resolute than Atvar.

Every day they waited, though, made a successful cleansing less certain. Even if we try to annihilate the Big Uglies, could we do it? Even if we try to annihilate the Big Uglies, could we do it? Ttomalss shrugged. He was no soldier, and he had incomplete data. Thanks to the limitations light speed caused, everyone here on Home had incomplete data about Tosev 3. The trouble there was, not everyone seemed to realize it. Males and females here were used to change that stretched over centuries, and didn't stretch very far even in such lengths of time. Tosev 3 wasn't like that, no matter how much trouble members of the Race who'd never been there had remembering as much. Ttomalss shrugged. He was no soldier, and he had incomplete data. Thanks to the limitations light speed caused, everyone here on Home had incomplete data about Tosev 3. The trouble there was, not everyone seemed to realize it. Males and females here were used to change that stretched over centuries, and didn't stretch very far even in such lengths of time. Tosev 3 wasn't like that, no matter how much trouble members of the Race who'd never been there had remembering as much.

And, more and more, Ttomalss was growing convinced that even the males and females of the Race who actually lived on Tosev 3 were operating on incomplete data in their evaluation of what the Big Uglies were up to. Part of that was the Race's trouble with languages not its own, part the different mathematical notation the Tosevites used, and part, he suspected, was a case of willful blindness. If you didn't believe down deep in your liver that another species could come to know more than you did, how hard would you look for evidence that that was in fact coming to pa.s.s? Not very, he feared.

He checked his computer and telephone records to see whether Pesskrag had ever called him back. As he'd thought: no. He made a note to himself to call the physicist soon.

Having made the note, he looked at it and deleted it. Delay was the very thing he'd worried about, and there he was, telling himself to delay. Instead of waiting, he telephoned Pesskrag that very moment.

It did him no good. He got the female's out-of-office announcement. He recorded a message of his own, finis.h.i.+ng, "I hope to hear from you soon. The more time goes by, the more I am convinced this issue is urgent."

Pesskrag did call back the next day, and found Ttomalss in his room. She said, "I apologize for not getting back to you sooner, Senior Researcher. I will blame part of the delay on the mating season, which always disrupts everything."

"Truth." Ttomalss admitted what he could hardly deny. "But it is over now. What have you and your colleagues done with the data I provided you?"

"We are still evaluating them, trying to decide if they can possibly be credible. We are making progress on the notation," the physicist answered. "The mathematics does appear to be internally consistent, but that does not make it easy to follow or easy to believe."

"Can you test it experimentally?" Ttomalss asked. "You were hoping to do that when we spoke last."

"And we still hope to," Pesskrag said. "But funds, permissions, and equipment have all proved harder to get than we expected."

"I see," Ttomalss said. And he did. He saw that the Race would would go at its own pace. Nothing would hurry it. Normally, that was good. If it really needed to hurry . . . Maybe the lessons it most needed to take from the Big Uglies had nothing to do with technology. go at its own pace. Nothing would hurry it. Normally, that was good. If it really needed to hurry . . . Maybe the lessons it most needed to take from the Big Uglies had nothing to do with technology.

Ka.s.squit came down to the refectory walking on air. Several of the American Tosevites were there eating breakfast. Ka.s.squit wished her features could match the mobility theirs had. Since they couldn't, she had to show her happiness in other ways.

She went up to Sam Yeager and bent into the posture of respect before him. "I thank you, Amba.s.sador," she said, and added an emphatic cough.

"For what?" Sam Yeager asked. Before she could answer, though, he pointed to her. "They accepted your pet.i.tion for an audience with the Emperor?"

"They did!" Ka.s.squit made the affirmative gesture. "I thank you so much for suggesting it! This is probably the proudest day of my life."

"I am pleased for you, and I congratulate you," the white-haired Big Ugly said. "If he would see me, I thought it was likely he would see you, too. After all, you are one of his, and I am not."

"To meet the Emperor!" Ka.s.squit exclaimed. "To show I really am a citizen of the Empire!"

She wondered if the wild Tosevites truly understood how important and exciting this was for her. Whether they did or not, they congratulated her warmly. Frank Coffey said, "This must mean a great deal to you, even if it would not mean so much to one of us."

"Truth. That is a truth," Ka.s.squit said. The dark brown Big Ugly did see what was in her liver: intellectually, at least, if not emotionally. "What could be a greater mark of acceptance than an imperial audience?"

"Ah-acceptance." Now Coffey made the affirmative gesture. "Acceptance is something I can appreciate." To show how much he could appreciate it, he too added an emphatic cough. "For me, Researcher, what showed I had truly been accepted by my society was getting chosen to join the crew of the Admiral Peary. Admiral Peary."

Tom de la Rosa laughed a loud Tosevite laugh. "Oh, yes, Frank, this does does show acceptance." He made his emphatic cough ironic at the same time. "Everyone back in the United States loved you so much, you got sent all these light-years just so you could be part of the society there." show acceptance." He made his emphatic cough ironic at the same time. "Everyone back in the United States loved you so much, you got sent all these light-years just so you could be part of the society there."

Even Ka.s.squit saw the joke in that. The American Tosevites all thought it was very funny. Frank Coffey laughed as loud as any of the others. He said, "That sounds ridiculous. I know it sounds ridiculous. But the odd thing is, no matter how ridiculous it sounds, it is a truth, and an important truth. Had I been less of an equal, I would still be back on Tosev 3."

"And you would probably be having more fun back there than you are here, too," de la Rosa replied.

"Maybe I would. Of course, I would be old back there, and I am . . . not so old here," Coffey said. "This has its compensations."

"If not for cold sleep, I would surely be dead," Sam Yeager said. "Given the choice, I prefer this."

Ka.s.squit said, "And you will also go before the Emperor."

"Well, so I will. But I have to tell you, I know it means less to me than it does to you," the American amba.s.sador said. "For one thing, I have already met several of our not-emperors-presidents, we call them." we call them."

"I have heard the word, yes," Ka.s.squit said coolly. Did he really imagine a Big Ugly chosen by snoutcounting was the equal to the the Emperor? By all the signs, he did, however absurd she found the notion. Emperor? By all the signs, he did, however absurd she found the notion.

He said, "There is something else, too, something that shows how different from the Empire we truly are. Here, the goal is to meet the Emperor. In the United States, the goal is to become become the president. Do you see what I mean?" the president. Do you see what I mean?"

Now Ka.s.squit had to try to understand emotionally something that was plain enough intellectually. American Big Uglies could aspire to become the ruler of their not-empire. She knew those not-emperors ruled for only a limited period, and had other checks on their power. Even so . . .

She tried to imagine a male or female of the Race setting out to become the Emperor. The picture refused to form in her mind. Oh, such things had happened in the days of ancientest history, though they weren't much mentioned in the lessons hatchlings learned at school. And once, even after Home was unified, a deranged male had tried to murder an Emperor (that was mentioned even less often).

But that a member of the Race, a Rabotev, a Halless, or even a Tosevite could aspire to supplant the Emperor and rule the Empire now . . . Automatically, her hand shaped the negative gesture. She said, "I do not believe your not-emperors have control over the afterlife as well as this life."

"Well, no, neither do I, though some of them would probably be happy enough to claim authority like that," Sam Yeager said. The other American Big Uglies laughed again, which was the only thing that told Ka.s.squit he didn't mean it. He went on, "And what you need to grasp, Researcher, is that I do not believe your Emperors have control over the afterlife, either."