Homeward Bound Part 46

"Oh, for the love of G.o.d, Dad!" Jonathan said.

"Yes, for the love of G.o.d." Sam Yeager sounded like something straight out of Edgar Allan Poe. Karen wondered if he did it on purpose.

She said, "Talk to their captain. Maybe he'll change his mind."

"Maybe." Her father-in-law sounded dubious in the extreme. He also sounded furious-just how much so, she didn't really understand till he went on, "I'd rather stay here than beg, though. Why should I have to beg for what I . . . darn well deserve anyway?" He held out his gla.s.s to her. "Fix me another one, would you? After all, I've got so much to celebrate."

Atvar climbed out of the shuttlecraft at the Preffilo port. Males and females in the body paint of the imperial court met him in the terminal and whisked him away to the palace. He hadn't been summoned to the capital for an audience with the Emperor, but for a working meeting with him. The ceremonial was much less involved. The honor might have been greater. A meeting with the Emperor meant he really wanted your opinion. An audience could mean anything at all. Champions at the biennial games got audiences with the Emperor.

Since it was only a meeting-if only only was the right word-Atvar didn't have to worry about the imperial laver and limner. His own body paint would do. The courtiers whisked him into the palace through a side entrance. No reporters waited to shout asinine questions at him. Word had got out that a second Tosevite stars.h.i.+p had come to Home. Word on what kind of stars.h.i.+p it was hadn't, not yet. He wondered just how the males and females in charge of such things would get that across. He wondered if they could do it without touching off a panic. He would have panicked if he'd got news like that. was the right word-Atvar didn't have to worry about the imperial laver and limner. His own body paint would do. The courtiers whisked him into the palace through a side entrance. No reporters waited to shout asinine questions at him. Word had got out that a second Tosevite stars.h.i.+p had come to Home. Word on what kind of stars.h.i.+p it was hadn't, not yet. He wondered just how the males and females in charge of such things would get that across. He wondered if they could do it without touching off a panic. He would have panicked if he'd got news like that.

In fact, he had panicked when he got news like that. The Race was at the Big Uglies' mercy, if they had any. If that wasn't worth panicking about, what would be?

The 37th Emperor Risson sat in a conference room not much different from the ones in the hotel back in Sitneff, though the furniture was of higher quality. Atvar folded himself into the special posture of respect reserved for the Emperor alone. "Rise," Risson told him, the overhead lights gleaming from his imperial gold body paint. "Now that you have done that, Fleetlord, let us forget about ceremony for the rest of this session."

"Just as you say, your Majesty, so it shall be done," Atvar replied. That had been a truth for Emperors for a hundred thousand years. How much longer would it stay a truth? The answer wasn't in the Race's hands.

By the way Risson's eye turrets waggled, the same thought had occurred to him. Oddly, that relieved Atvar. He would not have wanted the Emperor blind to the consequences of what had happened here. Risson said, "Well, we have not seen an egg like this one since the days when Home was unified and we did not fight the last war among ourselves after all."

"I wish I could say you were wrong, your Majesty." Instead of saying that, Atvar made the affirmative gesture. "I only hope this one hatches as successfully. It will not be easy."

"No." Risson clicked his fingerclaws on the tabletop, as any thoughtful and not very happy member of the Race might have done. "By everything we can tell, the Big Uglies are not lying about what this new s.h.i.+p of theirs can do."

"I wanted to think they were. I did not really believe it," Atvar said.

"My reaction exactly," Risson said. "Neither Straha nor the shuttlecraft pilot-Nesseref-appears to have been drugged and deluded."

"In my opinion, Straha has long been deluded, but he thinks the same of me," Atvar said.

"I know something of the feuds that plagued the conquest fleet. I do not care to know more, from either side. They do not matter now," the Emperor said. "The only thing that matters is verifying the Big Uglies' claims. Straha and Nesseref tend to do that. So does the information we are receiving at speed-of-light from Tosev 3. The American Tosevites already know what we are hearing for the first time."

"Your Majesty, however much I tried to keep from doing so, I thought I had to believe them as soon as that s.h.i.+p arrived," Atvar said. "For one thing, it seemed to come out of nowhere. For another, it is the culmination of something toward which the Big Uglies have been reaching for some time. Our physicists are behind theirs, but they are at least beginning to reach in the same direction."

"We are behind the Big Uglies. We change more slowly than they do. This does not bode well for us," Risson said.

"The same thought has occurred to me," Atvar said. "I would be lying if I said it filled my liver with delight."

"Immediate war might still be our best course," Risson said. "I do not want it. I do not think our chances are good. But if they only grow worse, perhaps we should send that message, no matter how many years it takes to arrive."

Atvar made the negative gesture. "No, your Majesty," he said, and used an emphatic cough. "This same thought occurred to me, but it would be a disaster. Consider: the Big Uglies must see this is one of our options. If they put one of their s.h.i.+ps in line between our solar system and the star Tosev, they can intercept our signal, return to Tosev 3, and be ready to attack or defend against whatever we send from here, whichever suits them better, years before the colonists have any idea they are supposed to help us go to war."

Risson did consider, for some little while. At last, with obvious reluctance, he made the affirmative gesture. "Well, Fleetlord, that is a truth. It is not a palatable truth, but a truth it is."

"I can see one way around it," Atvar said. "If we were to have a pa.s.senger on their stars.h.i.+p, that male or female could deliver a message to Fleetlord Reffet and Fleetlord Kirel. That way, the delay would be overcome."

"You are clever, Fleetlord. Unfortunately, the Big Uglies have thought of the same thing," Risson said. "They will let us have pa.s.sengers, but they will not let them communicate with members of the Race on Tosev 3 in any way, citing exactly the danger you named."

With an unhappy hiss, Atvar said, "That cursed Straha told me the same thing. I had forgotten-my apologies, your Majesty. We have been too naive for too long; deceit does not come naturally to us any more."

"Instead of what we call diplomats, maybe we should have sent a s.h.i.+pload of azwaca-hide dealers to Tosev 3," the Emperor said. "They always have an eye turret on the main chance, and might have done better at getting what we need out of the Big Uglies."

"You should tell that one to your diplomatic aides, your Majesty. It holds much truth," Atvar said. Until the conquest fleet faltered on Tosev 3, Emperors had not needed diplomatic aides since Home was unified. The very word amba.s.sador amba.s.sador was obsolete in the Empire, preserved only in historical fiction. On Tosev 3, it had hatched out of the eggsh.e.l.l of dormancy once more. was obsolete in the Empire, preserved only in historical fiction. On Tosev 3, it had hatched out of the eggsh.e.l.l of dormancy once more.

"I would not wish to make them unhappy," Risson said. "They try their best. We have all tried our best. Sometimes . . . Sometimes things do not fall out as we wish they would. I have no idea what is to be done about this, except to go on doing the best we can."

"If we do not do that, we will fail," Atvar said. "Of course, even if we do, we may well fail anyhow."

"This thought has also crossed my mind," Risson said. "It is one of the reasons I have not slept well since this new stars.h.i.+p came here. Having the other one in orbit above me, knowing some missile was bound to be aimed at this palace, was bad enough. But this one, this one we cannot imitate, let alone surpa.s.s-this is very bad. And do you know what else?"

"No, your Majesty. What else?" Atvar asked.

The 37th Emperor Risson let out an indignant hiss. "You will not be surprised to learn we have Tosevite encyclopedias here on Home," he said. "What better way to learn about the Big Uglies than through their own words? Some of our scholars who read English have investigated the American Tosevites after whom these two stars.h.i.+ps were named." He hissed again, even more irately than before.

"And?" Atvar asked, as the Emperor surely meant him to do.

"And the first s.h.i.+p, the Admiral Peary, Admiral Peary, is named for the Big Ugly who first reached the North Pole on Tosev 3," Risson said. "That was surely a Big Ugly who went into the unknown, and so his is a good name to give an early stars.h.i.+p. But the is named for the Big Ugly who first reached the North Pole on Tosev 3," Risson said. "That was surely a Big Ugly who went into the unknown, and so his is a good name to give an early stars.h.i.+p. But the Commodore Perry . . . Commodore Perry . . ." He hissed one more time. "This Commodore Perry traveled by sea from the United States to the islands of Nippon, where he forced the Nipponese into concluding trade agreements with him because of the strength of his wars.h.i.+ps. Is this a deliberate insult to us? Do the Americans reckon us similar barbarians to exploit as they please?"

"Today, your Majesty, the Nipponese are no more-and no less-barbarous than any other wild Big Uglies," Atvar replied. "And-" He broke off.

Not soon enough. "Yes?" Risson prodded.

Atvar wished he'd kept quiet. Now he had to go on with his thought, such as it was: "I was going to say, your Majesty, that I understand the a.n.a.logy the Big Uglies may have been drawing. Commodore Perry could travel by sea to the Nipponese. They could not travel by sea on their own to the land he came from. We are in a like situation in regard to that second stars.h.i.+p."

Risson stiffened. Atvar wondered if he would be sent away, never to see his sovereign again. Then, to his vast relief, the Emperor laughed. "Well, Fleetlord, you have made your point, I must say. That a.n.a.logy has more teeth than I wish it did. Until we can match the Tosevites' prowess, maybe we are in truth no better than semibarbarians."

"For many millennia, we have believed ourselves to stand at the pinnacle of biological and social evolution," Atvar said. "And why not? Our society was successful and stable. We easily overcame the other intelligent species we met and remolded their cultures and their worlds in the image of ours. Who could oppose us? Who could show us there were other ways of doing things?" He laughed, too, bitterly. "Well, now we know the answer to that."

"Yes. Now we know." Risson's voice was heavy with worry. "But thinking we were superior to all around us helped make us that way in fact . . . for a long time. Now that we see we are not at the pinnacle, as you said, will we begin to view ourselves as permanently inferior to the Big Uglies? That could also become a self-fulfilling prophecy, you know."

The fleetlord didn't answer right away. He'd had more experience worrying about Big Uglies than perhaps any other member of the Race. What worried him more than anything else was that they needed to be worried about. When the conquest fleet first landed, the Tosevites had used numbers and appalling heroism and even more appalling deceit to make up for their technological deficit. More appalling still was how fast that deficit had shrunk. And now . . . Yes. And now, Yes. And now, Atvar thought. Atvar thought.

"As you said, your Majesty, we have to do the best we can," he said at last. "They learned from us. For a while now, we will have to learn from them. And then, with a little luck, we can learn from each other. One thing this breakthrough will do: it will mean both the Tosevites and we can colonize much more widely than ever before. Both sides are vulnerable now because we are so concentrated. If we have colonies on hundreds of worlds rather than a handful, the situation changes."

It was Risson's turn to stop and think. "The Empire would not be the same. It would not, it could not, hope to hold together."

"Probably not, your Majesty," Atvar said. "But the Race would survive. In the end, is that not the most important thing?" Risson thought again, then used the affirmative gesture.

Now that Ka.s.squit knew what Ttomalss had not wanted to tell her about, she also understood why her mentor and the Emperor had been so unwilling. Nothing would ever be the same again for the Empire. The Race, convinced faster-than-light travel was impossible, hadn't seriously looked for it. For the Big Uglies, impossible impossible seemed nothing but a word to get around. And now they'd got around it. If the Race couldn't, it would find itself in deadly peril. seemed nothing but a word to get around. And now they'd got around it. If the Race couldn't, it would find itself in deadly peril.

She'd wondered if she would have mixed feelings about what the American Tosevites had done. They were, after all, her own kin, far more than any members of the Race could have been. She might have shared some of the pride at their achievement. She had before, over smaller things.

But she didn't, not because of this. This terrified her. She could see the danger it represented to the Empire. As long as the Big Uglies had this technology and the Race didn't, the planets of the Empire lived on Tosevite sufferance.

"Do not worry, not on account of this," Frank Coffey told her after she poured out her alarm to him in her room one afternoon. "Remember, this is the United States that has this technology. My not-empire will not do anything to touch off a war against the Race."

"No?" Ka.s.squit said. "I am sure the millions your not-empire killed in the attack on the colonization fleet would be ever so relieved to hear that."

Coffey did have the grace to wince. He spread his hands, palms up. The paler skin there and on the soles of his feet, so different from the rest of his body, never failed to fascinate Ka.s.squit. He said, "That was a long time ago. We would not do such a thing now."

"Oh? Are you certain? If your not-emperor gave the order, would your soldiers disobey it?" Ka.s.squit asked. "Or would they do as they were told?"

"Our not-emperor would not give such an order," Coffey said, though he didn't tell her how he knew such a thing. "And if he-or she-did give it, not all soldiers would obey. Remember, Sam Yeager is our amba.s.sador to the Race. He was a soldier who disobeyed."

"Yes, and was sent into exile because of it," Ka.s.squit said. "He would not be amba.s.sador if the Doctor had lived, and he will not stay amba.s.sador now that the new s.h.i.+p is here. Nor will the newcomers allow him to go back to Tosev 3. So much for the respect he won for disobeying orders."

"You do not understand," Frank Coffey insisted.

Ka.s.squit made the negative gesture. "On the contrary. I fear I understand much too well." She pointed toward the door. "I think you had better go. Otherwise, this conversation is all too likely to put an end to our friends.h.i.+p." It was more than a friends.h.i.+p, of course, but that was the strongest word the language of the Race had.

"We might do better to talk things out," Coffey said.

"No." Ka.s.squit used the negative gesture again. "What is there to say? You are loyal to your not-empire, as you should be. I am loyal to the Empire. This is also as it should be, I believe. We will not change each other's minds. We will only quarrel, and what is the good of that?"

Coffey inclined his head. Ka.s.squit understood that. It was what Big Uglies sometimes did instead of sketching the posture of respect. "No doubt you have found a truth. I will see you another time," he said. He put on the few wrappings American Tosevites insisted on wearing in public even in the warmth of Home, then left her room.

Only after he was gone did Ka.s.squit let tears start sliding down her face. She had known he was unlikely to make a permanent mating partner. She had expected him to return to Tosev 3 when the Admiral Peary Admiral Peary left. But the left. But the Commodore Perry Commodore Perry changed everything. Now he might leave within days, or tens of days. When she found happiness, did she always have to see it jerked out from under her feet? changed everything. Now he might leave within days, or tens of days. When she found happiness, did she always have to see it jerked out from under her feet?

She remembered the attack by the Reich Reich when Jonathan Yeager was up in the stars.h.i.+p orbiting Tosev 3 with her. Actually, for a little while that had worked out well on a personal level. It meant they'd stayed together longer than they would have otherwise, because he couldn't go back down to the United States while the war lasted. But it had only made parting harder when the time finally came. when Jonathan Yeager was up in the stars.h.i.+p orbiting Tosev 3 with her. Actually, for a little while that had worked out well on a personal level. It meant they'd stayed together longer than they would have otherwise, because he couldn't go back down to the United States while the war lasted. But it had only made parting harder when the time finally came.

All at once, Ka.s.squit wished she hadn't thought about the Reich Reich and the Deutsche. The Race would be doing everything it could to learn to travel faster than light. But so, without a doubt, would the Deutsche. They were formidably capable engineers. And, as far as she cold tell, their not-empire was governed by an equally formidable set of maniacs. What would they do if they succeeded before the Race did? and the Deutsche. The Race would be doing everything it could to learn to travel faster than light. But so, without a doubt, would the Deutsche. They were formidably capable engineers. And, as far as she cold tell, their not-empire was governed by an equally formidable set of maniacs. What would they do if they succeeded before the Race did?

Maybe Frank Coffey had a point. Were the Commodore Perry Commodore Perry a Deutsch stars.h.i.+p, wouldn't it have announced its presence by launching missiles at Home? The United States could have been better. But it also could have been much worse. a Deutsch stars.h.i.+p, wouldn't it have announced its presence by launching missiles at Home? The United States could have been better. But it also could have been much worse.

Ka.s.squit yawned. She didn't feel like thinking about it now. She felt like curling up and taking a nap. She lay down on the sleeping mat and did. When she woke up, she still felt more weary than she thought she should have. That had been happening more and more often lately. She wondered if something was wrong with her. Had she caught some Tosevite disease from Nicole Nichols or one of the other wild Big Uglies who'd come down from the Commodore Perry Commodore Perry?

She went down to the refectory for a snack. That turned out to be a mistake. She'd always enjoyed spiced, chopped azwaca and niihau beans, but not today. They didn't smell right. They didn't taste quite right, either. And they sat in her stomach like a large, heavy boulder.

Then, quite suddenly, they didn't want to sit there at all any more. She bolted from the refectory with the plate of meat and beans still half full. She got to the cloacal station just in time. She bent over one of the holes in the floor and noisily gave back what she'd eaten.

She couldn't remember ever doing that that before. It was one of the most disgusting experiences of her life. It brought a certain relief, but the taste! And the way it came out through the inside of her nose as well as her mouth! before. It was one of the most disgusting experiences of her life. It brought a certain relief, but the taste! And the way it came out through the inside of her nose as well as her mouth!

She rinsed and spat, rinsed and spat. That didn't help as much as she wished it would have. "I am am diseased. I diseased. I must must be diseased," she said, and used an emphatic cough. No one who was healthy could possibly do something so revolting. be diseased," she said, and used an emphatic cough. No one who was healthy could possibly do something so revolting.

She thought about going back to the refectory and finis.h.i.+ng the chopped azwaca and beans. Then, with a shudder, she made the negative gesture. She didn't believe she would ever want that dish again. It tasted much better going down than it did coming up.

Instead, she went to her room and telephoned Dr. Melanie Blanchard. "I would like you to examine me, please," she said when the physician's face appeared in the monitor.

"I would be happy to," Dr. Blanchard said. "May I ask what has made you change your mind?" Her interrogative cough was a small masterpiece of curiosity. No member of the Race could have done that better.

"I am unwell," Ka.s.squit said simply.

"All right," Dr. Blanchard said. "Come to my room, and I will see if I can figure out why you are."

"It shall be done." Ka.s.squit broke the connection with no more farewell than that.

"I greet you," the American female said when Ka.s.squit pressed the door hisser. "Before I start poking you and doing the other things physicians do, please tell me your symptoms." Ka.s.squit did, in harrowing detail. Dr. Blanchard nodded. "All right-nausea and fatigue. Anything else?"

Now Ka.s.squit hesitated. "I am not sure it is relevant."

"Tell me and let me be the judge," Melanie Blanchard urged. "The more data I have, the better my diagnosis is likely to be."

"Yes, that does seem reasonable." Ka.s.squit made the affirmative gesture, though still hesitantly. "My other notable symptom is that the blood which flows from my reproductive organs has not done so when it normally would have."

"Really?" the doctor said, in tones of strong surprise. Ka.s.squit used the affirmative gesture again. Dr. Blanchard reached out and squeezed one of her b.r.e.a.s.t.s; Ka.s.squit yelped. Dr. Blanchard asked, "Are they unusually tender?"

"Why, yes," Ka.s.squit said. "How did you guess?"

"This set of symptoms is familiar to me. Sooner or later, it becomes familiar to most Tosevite females, regardless of whether they happen to be physicians. Unless I am very much mistaken, you are gravid."

Ka.s.squit stared. "But that is impossible. Frank Coffey uses a sheath whenever we mate. He has not failed to do so even once."

"I am glad to hear that. It speaks well for him-and for you," Melanie Blanchard said. "But what you have described are the textbook early symptoms of gravidity. Sheaths are good protection against such accidents, but they are not perfect."

What Ka.s.squit felt was irrational fury. The sheath's failure struck her as typical slipshod Tosevite engineering. Wild Big Uglies just did things. They didn't bother to do them right. Or maybe, considering that the prime purpose of mating was reproduction, Frank Coffey had had done it right. done it right.

"There are other possibilities," the physician said. "All of them involve serious illness, and all of them are much less likely than simple gravidity. Some time not quite a local year and a half from now, I believe you will lay an egg." She laughed and used the negative gesture. "That is the first phrase that occurred to me in the Race's language. It is not not what will happen. You will have a hatchling." what will happen. You will have a hatchling."

"A hatchling." Ka.s.squit still struggled to take that in. "I know nothing about caring for hatchlings."

"I am sure the American Tosevites here on Home with you, whoever they turn out to be, will be glad to help you," Melanie Blanchard said. "Or, if you would rather, there is a medical procedure to terminate your gravidity. It is not very difficult, especially when done early."

"Do you recommend medically that I do this?" Ka.s.squit asked.

"No," Dr. Blanchard said. "You are on the old side to be gravid, but you do not seem to be dangerously so. I will have to monitor you more closely than I would if you were younger, that is all. The procedure may become medically necessary, but I do not antic.i.p.ate that it will. But other factors besides the merely medical are involved in whether you wish to rear a hatchling. This may be more true for you than for most Tosevite females. You have . . . less practice at being a Big Ugly."

"That is a truth," Ka.s.squit said. "Still, if anything will teach me, this is likely to be the experience that would."

"You do not need to decide at once," Dr. Blanchard said. "During the first third of your gravidity, the procedure remains fairly simple. After that, as the hatchling grows inside you, it does become harder and more dangerous for you."

Ka.s.squit set the palm of her hand on her belly. "I will think about it," she said, "but I believe I wish to go forward with this."

After Ka.s.squit bolted from the refectory and came back looking wan two or three times, none of the Americans on Home had much doubt about what was ailing her. Frank Coffey sighed. He was careful to speak English: "I wonder how you say Broken Rubber in the Race's language."

"Congratulations-I think," Jonathan Yeager told him.

"Thanks-I think," Coffey said. "That isn't what I had in mind."

"Hey, you've given us something to talk about besides the Commodore Perry, Commodore Perry," Tom de la Rosa said. "And they said it couldn't be done."

Major Coffey sent him a slightly walleyed stare. "Thanks-I think," he said again, in the same tones he'd used with Jonathan. Everybody laughed.

Jonathan said, "Is she ready to be a mother?"

"n.o.body's ever ready to be a mother till it happens to her." Karen Yeager spoke with great conviction. "Some people may think they are, but they're wrong. It's baptism by total immersion."